Sam and Joe are back after a long break with a juicy quote from their old friend Carl Jung. Myths, archetypes, figures of light, dark caves with dragons and treasure, it's a wild ride. Enjoy! 

What we take to be a self is tentative, fictitious, constructed by clinging, a temporary identification with some parts of experience. Self arises, solidifying itself, like ice floating in water. Ice is actually made of the same substance as water. Identification and clinging harden the water into ice. In a similar way, we sense ourself as separate. Jack Kornfield - The Wise HeartThis realization that the separate self is an illusion must be one of the most useful things I've ever learned. I spent most of my life assuming that I was a separate self-contained unit and I felt disconnected from those around me. From the universe as a whole. But where exactly is this seat of the self? Where's the little Joe who's up there in my head, directing everything? Where is the seat of attention? If I look for myself, where do I find myself? I find a constant flow of sense data, sights, sounds, smells, temperature. I find thoughts. But who are these thoughts occurring to?As Jack Kornfield says, identification and clinging harden the water into ice. The closest thing I can find to a separate self is this contraction in my chest that seems to create some kind of locus in time and space. But actually I am in no way separate from the flow. This has been seen through for me in meditation. What I find in meditation, if I have a good session, is I drop into a much larger, possibly infinite, ocean of awake awareness. Which mostly has a fairly neutral quality, but there's actually a lovingness there. A gentle sense of support. And I find this encouraging to say the least.Of course, I have a social self and I need to function. And go to work and perform my roles in society. But there's no need to constantly reify the separate self, this particle, somehow split off from the rest of the universe. What I actually find is an openness, a sort of infinite openness, where I used to imagine my separate self to be. Jack Kornfield talks about ice and water. I've heard it talked about in terms of a wave. A wave that somehow thinks it's separate from the ocean. Or a sunbeam that's forgotten it's part of the sun. I'm a part of something much bigger than I always took myself to be. But it's also something incredibly simple. It's just the present moment. I'm not separate to you who's reading this. I really am just part of this flow.I only care about this because I guess I've always ju

The root of this physical urge is a spiritual one. The longing for an end to duality, a return to the state of wholeness. Sexual union is the closest you can get to this state on the physical level. This is why it is the most deeply satisfying experience the physical realm can offer. But sexual union is no more than a fleeting glimpse of wholeness, an instant of bliss. As long as it is unconsciously sought as a means of salvation, you are seeking the end of duality. On the level of form where it cannot be found. You were given a tantalizing glimpse of heaven. But you are not allowed to dwell there.And you find yourself again in a separate body. Eckhart Tolle The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual EnlightenmentThis is the fifth in a series of reflections by Joe on quotes he found helpful or striking. He has some good writing over at https://joeloh.substack.com/Creators & Guests Joe Loh - Host Internet Archive has a free version of The Power of Now at https://archive.org/details/ThePowerOfNowEckhartTolle_201806/page/n11/mode/2upSource:The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenmentpresents itself as a discussion about how people interact with themselves and others. The concept of self-reflection and presence in the moment are presented along with simple exercises for the achievement of its principles. Published in the late 1990s,[1] the book was recommended by Oprah Winfrey[2] and has been translated into 33 languages.[3] As of 2009, it was estimated that three million copies had been sold in North America.[4] Author: Eckhart Tolle, Subjects: Spirituality,

“I have really found when I look around that the romantic love I see is this ideal, the anima. The anima is the ideal that you carry within yourself that you put onto the different entities out there and you unite with that. Pretty soon you see through the projection. And then what happens?”Transcript:That's Joseph Campbell from an interview he did. I won’t pretend to be an expert on what the anima is but I took note of this because it resonated with me. I can see that I've done this throughout my adult life. It's to project something, onto a woman in my case. And then basically have a relationship with that projection.And there's an incredible high that comes from doing that. And they become perfected in your mind. And quite often I can take photos of women when I'm in this state, they will be sitting in a café or wherever, and it will be a particularly attractive photo of them. And quite often they get some kind of high out of it too.But as Joseph Campbell says:“Pretty soon you say through the projection. And then what happens?”Well, in my case, what happens is I tend to end the relationship. And often the women are left hurt and confused about what went wrong. And it reminds me of the Joni Mitchell quote about monogamy and how if all you ever have is short-term relationships and casual dating then basically, you’re just dating yourself over and over again. Telling the same stories, revealing the same small parts of yourself, and having the same fun. Whereas to really go deep with someone and commit and really get into the complexities of getting to know someone is to have a much deeper experience. But I think that moves you past romantic love and chemistry and all the hedonism that's inherent in all those chemicals floating around. I think that moves you to something that maybe feels a lot more ordinary a lot of the time. That slow layering process of really getting to know one person. And sitting here now I can see that that is an ideal for me. The problem I have is whenever I meet a new person, I tend to project my anima onto them and have the same relationship over and over again. I’m trying to get out of that trap and move onto hopefully something more profound.Creators & Guests Joe Loh - Host Image by Craig: writing and sharing pictures of his

To be a loving person is to wrestle with a profoundly improbable idea: that however modest our position in society might be, however much we may have been maltreated in the past, however mesmerised we are by the deplorable behaviour of powerful individuals, however shy and frail we are, we are constantly capable of causing other people significant hurt. Alain de Botton in A More Loving World: How to increase compassion, kindness and joyCreators & Guests Joe Loh - Host This is the second of an ongoing series by Joe: short reflections on quotes he captured and shared with Ali and Sam while reading (usually books on spirituality, psychology, consciousness, religion etc). Joe is writing over at https://joeloh.substack.com/ and it's genuinely sizzling stuff. You can tell he read Hunter S Thompson and Kerouac as a youngster, and since then I'm assuming he's read other stuff that sounds more mature, because his writing is kind of both of those things. It's present and truthful, and entirely unsentimental, but it has feelings in it. That link again: https://joeloh.substack.com/ - Sam Image courtesy of Craig https://wish-art.blog/gallery/____________________________________More on the quote's source, A More Loving World: How to increase compassion, kindness and joy at https://www.theschooloflife.com/shop/a-more-loving-world/ An extract of the book is available at https://assets.theschooloflife.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/04143544/A-More-Loving-World_extract.pdfAbout the author of today's quote:Alain de Botton FRSL (/dəˈbɒtən/; born 20 December 1969) is a Swiss-born British author and public speaker. His books discuss various contemporary subjects and themes, emphasizing philosophy's

All that is necessary then is to rest undistractedly in the immediate present, in this very instant in time. And if we become drawn away by thoughts, by longings, by hopes and fears, again and again we can return to this present moment. We are here. We are carried off as if by the wind, and as if by the wind, we are brought back. When one thought has ended and another has not begun, we can rest in that space. We train in returning to the unchanging heart of this very moment. All compassion and all inspiration come from that. Pema Chodron - When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (1997)This short episode is from Joe, intended as the first of many, reflecting on passages he took note of in reading. Next week's main ep will explain more of the back story behind this new project. Joe is writing over at https://joeloh.substack.com, and (Sam here) I say it's very good stuff. Very honest. Totally Joe. A rollicking read. Creators & Guests Joe Loh - Host Image: 'Calanais Stones, what a mystery' by Craig https://wish-art.blog/____________ ______________About the author of today's quote:Pema Chödrön (born Deirdre Blomfield-Brown, July 14, 1936) is an American Tibetan Buddhist. She is an ordained nun, former Acharya of Shambhala Buddhism and disciple of Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche. Chödrön has written books and audiobooks, and is principal teacher at Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia. Chödrön teaches the traditional "Yarne" retreat at Gampo Abbey each winter and the Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life in Berkeley each summer. (wikiquote)More Pema Chodron quotes at https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Pema_Ch%C3%B6dr%C3%B6nBy the same author:

Romantic Realities: Deconstructing the Romantic Love MythWe dive into the misconceptions of romantic love prevalent in Western culture, drawing on a quote from You Are the One You've Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships, by Richard Swartz. Get the book from Internal Family Systems Institute at https://ifs-institute.com/you-are-one-youve-been-waitingSam mentions Let's Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice podcast with Dr Morgan, yet again, but actually links to it this time. https://episodes.fm/1496034764 to find it on your podcast player of choice. But I use and recommend Podcast Guru, and Fountain, available on all phones ... anyway it's a great resource on attachment theory, and if you end up taking a workshop let Sam know how it goes.Here's the quote:Our Western culture and many of the relationship experts in it have issued us faulty maps and improper tools. We've been told that the love we need is a buried treasure, hidden in the heart of a special intimate partner. Once we find that partner, the love we crave should flow elixir like, filling our empty spaces and healing our pain. We touch on:the usual gossip and personal experiences, in between the wise and reflective stuff.historic context of romantic love as an ideallikely role of biology in facilitating feelings of romantic lovevs the grim reality of marriage historically, as the transfer of property between menromance in mediathe unrealistic expectations it setsreflect on the nature of lovelove's challengesthe importance of self-love and realistic expectations in intimate relationshipsdynamics of attachment stylesmental health, and the balance between self-reliance and being a good partnera broader contemplation of love's realities versus its cultural constructionsEpisode image: courtesy of Craig - read stories and look at more great shots at https://wish-art.blog/gallery/The show cover is from the filming of The KLF's Ancients of Mu clip - https://www.theguardian.com/music/2017/apr/27/return-of-the-klf-

Listeners are producers. Thank you for getting the show out.I reflect on my own podcast listening: helpful with insomnia, and a lifeline during tough times. Write me hereReading a wide range of listener notes, I respond and explore personal themes:vulnerabilitythoughts on how to engage usefully with attachment theory, to go looking for the things we don't want to saythe two breakdown eps from Joe and Alivoyeurism: when is it okay to listen to people spilling about intense experiencesI say it's because people pod with honesty, because they want to be seen and accepted, flaws and all, so you're helping. If it's feeding something exploitative, you'll feel it.Themes around speaking, activism, expression:the half-informed should speak, while being honest about their level of understanding, otherwise we will only hear from the powerful and the uninformed, who are never honest about their level of understandingmiddle-class white women do speak up a lot, but should continue to do soa brief history of middle-class women as key activistsI encourage a writer who listens, to start a show, and offer support and advice to anyone curious about getting startedNetworked communal media not subject to the algorithmthe communal, horizontal, networked experience of podcasts (listeners become producers, or step up to speak, in a mutually supporting way) audio over RSS: the last medium not to have been completely overrun by ads and algorithmsopen nature of podcast distribution via RSS feeds, Really Simple Syndication, contrasting it with highly vertical, platform-dependent media (LOCKED SYSTEMS = serfdom)commercial radio thrived on podcast-ish values before becoming a bloated ad beasta call for community support and contribution, reinforcing the collaborative spirit of podcasting listeners as producers, who contribute to the content and continuity of podcastsValue for Value, decentralisation: the philosophy we need for sustainable media in the age of closed platformsthe importance of fearless feedback in all directionsthe democratizing power of podcasts under techno-feudalismCreators & Guests

Thinking back on favourite films, it becomes clear what they say about us. Cinema, the Psyche, unveiling Inner HeroesIt's always therapy and psychoanalysis around here, movies are the vehicle. Favourite films reflect deep psychological themes and evolving personal identities. What we once found aspirational in a character, we might later rethink, or realise it was not the healthiest hero to have. Others may have been right for the time. So we mainly talk about movies our younger selves were drawn to, Pulp Fiction, Terminator 2, The Matrix, Le Samurai, The Thin Red Line, Beaches, When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, Funny Girl, 'Now, Voyager', All About Eve, and Stella Dallas. It's the usual mix of personal stories, and psychological insights, plus film analysis and some half-remembered film theory, looking at identification with film characters, self-perception, the making and collapsing of reality, and the separate self. We also touch on the gender dynamics in film identification, the concept of sacrificial love, and the role of cinema in shaping or reflecting social norms and personal dreams. It all brings us eventually to the universal quest for connection and meaning. We delve into how these preferences illuminate our aspirations, fears, and personal development.Creators & Guests Joe Loh - Host Ali Catramados - Host Sam Ellis - Host Image: still from Cinema Paradiso (1988) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095765/?quot(00:00) - TTTT Film (01:23) - Deep Dive into Favorite Films and Personal Identification (03:28) - Self-image and cinema (07:33) - The Psychological Impact of Film and the Matrix Deep Dive (10:36) - Meditation, Reality, and Joe''s dis-Engagement with Cinema (14:41) - Heroism, Mortality, and the Essence of Cinema (21:02) - Heroism in Real Life vs. Cinema (22:59) - Reflecting on how Mortality impacts Film Appreciation (26:01) - Character Archetypes in Cinema (26:30) - The Impact of Nature and Civilization in Film

Do most straight men reserve their truest love and romance for other men? Marilyn Frye thinks so, and today we consider a quote from her classic book of feminist essays The Politics of RealityWe found ourselves in agreement with Frye's observations. But we debate and detail the angles: Is heterosexual male culture (always) homoerotic?Do men save their 'best' for each other?Do many men find truer friendship with other men because they feel more comfortable around each other? Why?Is this a problem? How much so?Why would a man be 'less himself' around women? Is this because a man might be capable of friendship with women, but change his behaviour around a woman he wants to sleep with?Maybe it's heterosexual people thinking of each other as alien species that causes the problem? But does heterosexuality rely on just this, treating each other as alien and maintaining a sense of difference?Is there some anger, bitterness or frustration in the quote?Is the author a separatist feminist as Joe guessed? (Yes).What is romance anyway?Has the truth in this quote shifted over time?Is it also true about women and other women? And is it possible to judge those two realities by the same standard?Why are people on dating apps talking about polarity and being in their feminine energy? Do they just mean 'someone else sort everything out?'Are we at the point where we can begin to expect equal levels of maturity and responsibility from both men and women?"To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (fucking exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom they admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom the imitate, idolize, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honor, reverence, and love they desire… those are, overwhelmingly, other men. In their relations with women, what passes for respect is kindness, generosity or paternalism; what passes for honor is removal to the pedestal. From women, they want devotion, service, and sex. Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it i

Moving from Fear, to Joy of Missing Out and beyond both. FOMO arises from projection and fantasy, as does a lot of the imagined enjoyment of the imagined pleasures.We might imagine that:everything we want is outside ourselvespleasure, meaning or peak experiences must be mediated by something: people, substances, or outside eventsthat we have to follow a formula to achieve themWe chew over the classic cliche FOMO of music festivals, and unearth some insights: the positives of turning towards your own prioritiespursuing projects and personal growth brings the greater contentment'projects over pleasures'the pursuit of meaningful experiences on your own terms or with people you care aboutsometimes the best music experience is going mental to a good tune where no-one can seeJoe contends that beyond FOMO and JOMO is the flow state:the real peak experiences of life often occur in the flow statewhich has little to do with glamorous activities or what we have been told to wantWe touch on existentialism and some key FOMO psychology:humans struggle to reliably imagine their own future feelingsto weigh the influence and impact of imagined eventswe struggle to accurately assess what others put on social media, obviouslybut this is also discomfort with our own choiceswe all carry the burden of choice, of what to value and pursuethe existential problem of assigning meaningit's not easy figuring out what we really wantit's difficult to imagine what will actually make us happy or bring contentment, and in a sense it's our life's workthe choice to engage in fulfilling projects is seemingly more difficult and uncertain than reaching for known pleasuresthe boring thing is doing what we think we will be fun and assigning it a greater future value than it can carrythe real boredom is not always in staying home and attending to our real prioritiesWe harangue Joe to turn towards something he gets a lot of meaning from, passages from spiritual books, and reflect on those in a new podcast series, which leads nicely to some useful concluding thoughtsthe value of following quiet passionsthe liberation found in chosen solitudeencouragement to make conscious life choices aligning wit

Is Attachment Theory the new Myers-Briggs? NoIs it helping? Yes! Is attachment also about friendship, family and self relationships? Yes!Is it the magic bullet? Kind of, if you study Attachment Styles in depth, and do the workIt's The Dance of Attachment in Relationships!In our return to podding for a new season, (sorry to disappear, reasons!!) we explore the nuanced world of attachment styles their profound influence on our relationships and self-awarenessWe delve into the complexities of understanding anxious, avoidant, secure, and disorganized attachment stylestracing their roots back to early childhood and examining their impact on our adult romantic relationships, friendships, and the way we view ourselvessharing personal stories and insightswe discuss concepts and strategies for navigating and seeking secure attachments in pursuit of fulfilling and healthy relationships we need:setting and respecting healthy boundaries for ourselves and othersnot to neglect our own needswhich includes attending to security withinbeing comfortable or tolerant of being alone with our own thoughtspersonal purpose and meaning, and not to seek this from relationships alonethe distinction between being alone and feeling lonelyand towards others:open, non-judgemental communicationself-awarenessthe delicate balance between independence and vulnerabilityavoiding assumptions in communication and in interpreting the actions of othersthe value of approaching life and relationships with openness and mindfulnessYes it's all pointing towards the continuous process of personal growth and adaptation.Mentions: It was Tracy McMillan who wrote the blog Why You're Not Married https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-youre-not-married_b_822088 Warning: contains statements that will not be universally accepted, but some of her insights are worthwhile, based on three marriages, at the time. She talks a lot about attachment theory also https://www.instagram.com/tracymcmillanLet's Get Vulnerable podcast: https://episodes.fm/14960347

Study envy to find messages from our future selvesWe unpack the role of envy, not as a toxic emotion to be avoided or ashamed of, but a normal feeling that gives us clues to understanding our unmet desires, unfulfilled potential, and prompting necessary change.envy vs jealousy. Jealousy is possessiveness, envy is wanting what others have, or wanting to be thembecoming less envious of others as we get olderthe emptiness at the heart of existence remains in place no matter who we are or what we havehouse prices, salaries, wealth distributioncomplex, changing feelings, hiding then reveal the path to self-growthfitting in vs standing outbeing the object of envybeing envious of contemporaries, such as friends, people we went to school or work withhaving envy towards our own partnersbike shorts/yoga pants: acceptable clothing for everyone?getting beneath the surface of desire, wanting a greater sense of freedomgender and clothing: do women have greater freedom in terms of clothing?'painful but necessary steps'Ali's dream of growing more of her own foodself-envy, a 'better version of ourself' from the pastJoe's epic case of personal envy towards a contemporary therapy: like cleaning a mirror, with the image becoming clearer over time. daily transformations that count towards personal growththe importance of casual conversations for therapeutic valueCreators & Guests Ali Catramados - Host Joe Loh - Host Sam Ellis - Host (00:00) - Introduction and Welcome (00:28) - Discussing Alain de Botton's Quote on Envy (01:41) - Understanding Envy and Jealousy (02:05) - Personal Experiences with Envy (02:48) - Envy and Lifestyle Aspirations (03:24) - Debate on Work and Lifestyle (05:30) - Envy in Youth and Adulthood (05:55) - Envy and Money (08:49) - Envy of partners in relationships (11:32) - Envy and Personal Style (29:16) - The Illusion of Success (29:24) - The Changing Landscape of Attainable Dreams (30:04) - The Struggle wit

Neurodivergence, New Years Resolutions, and Future FocusWe welcome the New Year byevaluating the usefulness of New Years resolutionssharing the honest struggles we’ve hadsmall triumphsAli shares her journey to quit smoking and the strategies she employs.a positive version of sunk cost fallacy, where we are motivated to defend small gains and build on them https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunk_costmaking excuses and justifications for not taking responsibilitytricking yourself into doing things your mind is resistingquitting/reducing drinkingcleaner living, bad skin after xmas blowoutthe power of vanity in keeping motivatedAli and Sam pleased about looking younger than some of the other school mumshow the concept of future thinking and goal setting has influenced our livestouching on the psychology concept of ‘delay discounting’ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_preferenceas a key to understanding addiction, financial errors and not getting around to acting on our ambitionsdebate the relevance of the neurodivergent label for individuals and the three of usthe present and future of the show. Our personal and collective mission, methods, and reasons for doing it.Meta pod discussion for the stans:As we reflect on our podcast journey, we contemplate whether to foreground our identity as neurodivergent individuals and how it plays into the show.We also share our ambitions for the podcast going forward, including our New Year resolution to de-emphasize diagnoses and just be ourselves.Sam digresses into the huge value gained from listening to niche and highly specific podcastsJoe advocates having ‘no angle’ and ‘no identity’ the value of anything should be in the doing, in the process. Bhakti Yoga and many other traditions teach we should not do things for reward, nor should we be attached to any particular outcome.Podding is more like a zine and having absolute intellectual freedomSuccess is to have critics as well as praisewe express our gratitude towards our listeners and each other, and acknowledge the affirming impact of their feedback on our personal lives and our collective journey.Sam offers some recent p

Who's Your Guru? (and is Slavoj Žižek any good?)Sam, Joe and Ali discuss gurus, including the online type:our times are thick with public intellectuals, influencers, and self-proclaimed experts Sam's frequent references to Slavoj Žižek, and Joe's conclusion that he doesn't make much sense, and isn't much chop intellectually. Sam on literal guru worship in the Hare Krishnas - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Society_for_Krishna_Consciousnessshould we just speak for ourselves, rather than filter our thoughts or present them in relation to influential figures?figures like Jordan Peterson, Douglas Murray the resort to online gurus during times of uncertainty, about how to know and think (the so-called epistemological crisis)A few of Joe's past figures get a mention: Stephen Pinker, Michael Shellenberger,how problematic it can be when these gurus leave their area of expertisemany people will detect that guru lane drift, but many others still trust their Guru's every word, which is perhaps the whole point of gurusthe power of dialogue with other humans in understanding our own internally competing perspectives, and helping us evaluate information and perceptionstriving for clarity amidst an overload of information.Useful sources:The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy (peer reviewed) - Zizek entry https://iep.utm.edu/zizek/Zizek WikipediaZizek wikiquoteSome key Zizek ideas from The ConversationCreators & Guests Ali Catramados - Host Joe Loh - H

What Do We Want To Pass On To Our Children?Find out what controversial song was top of Ali's music wrap for the year. Oh, and we delve into parenting: specifically, how should we influence our kidsOn the Road, Jack Kerouac; Homage to Catalonia, George Orwell; David Bowie all get a mentionthe influence we want to have, versus what really happenspersonal experiences, the influence of books and other texts versus direct communicationfeeling unsure about who to be as a parent and a personwhat are we actually shooting for with values and is it a simple transfer? Nothe concept of meaningful freedom and how it relates to addictionhyper gendered kids stuff, sugar, screens and other baddiesthe inevitable reflections on our own upbringingsome of our current and past approaches to parenting, and hopes for the futurespirituality gets another plug - and it hasn't even taken out a sponsorship(00:00) - Welcome and intro (00:27) - Influence on Children: Personal Experiences (01:27) - Power of Now, Books and Reading (03:11) - Passing on a love of music (04:34) - Values and culture (08:18) - What are values anyway. Not a simple thing (10:01) - What we try for vs what we get. Being yourself around your baby (13:43) - The Struggles of Parenting and Personal Growth (22:05) - The Influence of Social Media and Screen Time (33:54) - The Importance of Freedom in Parenting (34:32) - Avoiding Addiction Pathways in Parenting (35:11) - Transition from Control to Moderation (36:01) - Influence of Parental Values on Children (36:59) - The Importance of Apologizing and Kindness (37:36) - Raising a Kind and Sociable Child (41:33) - The Role of Curiosity in Parenting (43:31) - The Impact of Parenting on Children's Future (44:44) - The Power of Consciousness and Spirituality (57:57) - The Influence of Books and Reading (59:59) - The Role of Practice and Present Moment in Parenting

Possible triggers. A confronting episode but one we are proud of. Sam, Joe, and Ali explore the impacts, recovery and residues of mental breakdowns.The recent Robbie Williams documentary has kicked off many discussions about mental healthRobbie's demeanour on screen reminded Ali of herself. He was had extraordinary energy before his collapse, as did Ali, with full time work, a small child, a backyard farm and making sourdough from scratchIn the present, Ali can see that something inside Williams is 'still broken' or 'empty' even though he remains functional in most areas of lifeThis led Ali to consider her life and self now, and compare it with her perception of self before her breakdownWe collectively navigate Ali's personal journey through mental health challenges, including a severe breakdown that led her into a state of psychotic mania and hospitalization.Joe brings up Donald Winnicott and his concept of the 'good enough parent' which relates to the 'good enough self', which is the best self, because it is the True Self, as opposed to the ideal self, which is a False Self, and is not sustainable (leading to many problems including breakdowns). Winnicott also gave us the idea that 'the catastrophe we fear has already happened'- which also relates to Ali's experience cloWe delve into the changes in energy levels, personal expectations, ambitions, and the perceived self after such an experience.We look for therapeutic and analytic angles to discuss the theme of death and mortality in Ali's breakdownAli's story strongly reminds Sam of Joseph Campbell's idea of the Hero's Journey*. Sam proposes that Ali followed most of the stages of the Journey in her breakdown, but may have remaining analysis to complete on the Road Back to the Ordinary World.We touch on diagnostic perspectives, struggles with unmet expectations, and the thirst for normalcyJoe advocates for spiritual exploration as an intrinsic part of the journey of healing and understanding, and as the best way to meet that higher calling, to live a full life.*Campbell's book The Hero With A Thousand Faces is an analysis of myth, through ideas from psycho therapy, . The journey i

We explore the experience of identifying as victim, through personal stories and theory, and of course the potential of spirituality and psychotherapy in helping move through, and renounce identities over time.We discuss the dangers of adhering to a single identity label, and the benefit of taking responsibility for our own actions and healing, while being aware that we are also inescapably interconnected with others. Identities such as Victim are necessary and useful, and can arise naturally from a life event such as an accident, an assault, or injustice, but also from ordinary childhood experiences, a personal identity, or a relationship dynamic. So we may come to identify as victim. This is normal, but over time our sense of self shifts greatly and we move through many identifications. to enable us to life more fully.We've all been a victim, we all suffer, we all deserve comfort and help, and it's also true that we sometimes cling too long to a sense of being The Victim. We are usually right about that victimhood in some way, even with people who fraudulently claim victim status. While fraudulent victims provoke understandable outrage, as we see in the extraordinary case of Belle Gibson, such people are probably suffering in any case, and their fraud itself is an indicator that something is wrong in their lives.Sam finds a related quote about Lacan's formulation of fantasy, the Other, the alienation of the subject, and restoring the dignity of the subject by letting go of fantasy. Marx and Zizek get a mention.And we get into how spirituality and therapy both invite a deconstruction of ego and fantasies. The conversation concludes with the benefit of adopting broader, more interdependent perspectives on life.Image courtesy: Craig https://www.instagram.com/p/CrFzDLgK7Mw/Creators & Guests Ali Catramados - Host Joe Loh - Host Sam Ellis - Host (00:00) - Being the victim (00:46) - Identity Politics and Neurodivergence (02:14) - The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle's book and a quote (02:23) - Eckhart Tolle's Influence and Impact (04:46) - Interpreting Eckhart Tolle's Quote

Only posting about shit you have personal experience of? Ali explains why white middle class people should maybe shut up. Team discuss different social media platforms and shouting into the voidPosting hot photos on Instagram as awareness raising? The power of posting about stuff you have lived experience with. Sam talks about the power of herd acceptance and how minds change more often than people realise. The advantages of podcasts over social media for actually learning things. The team discuss the information space and Australian politics. Joe talks about becoming a centrist because he’s so sick of being in the inner-city leftie bubble. The Voice referendum is discussed. Sam accuses Joe of thinking people power is non-existent. Facebook is waning fast but offered strong predictive data about Boomer voting intentions in said referendum  Ali mentions marriage equality as a successful campaign with a social media element. The Middle East rears it’s ugly head.Ali and Sam conclude that everyone has personal experience of everything and should post whatever they want, Joe is pissed off.Enjoyed the ep? Share it with someone who might also enjoy it. https://share.transistor.fm/s/2982b484Hit us up at instagram.com/thetenthousandthingspodcastCreators & Guests Ali Catramados - Host Joe Loh - Host Sam Ellis - Host (00:00) - Theme and intro (00:29) - Topic: Posting outside your personal experience - staying in your lane (01:52) - Political Discourse (02:06) - Predicting the Voice referendum based on Facebook posts (03:14) - Reflecting on Personal Social Media Usage (03:40) - Demographics of over posting (03:53) - Personal Background and posting - private school graduates (05:57) - Social Media for Social Change - who to listen to, making space (12:01) - Personal experience resonates more than opinion (29:35) - Analyzing Communication Strategies (30:17) - Class and Political Percep

The team discuss a quote from Christian mystic Emmett Fox on grievances:“Going over old grievances mentally, thinking how badly someone acted at some time, for instance, and recalling the details, has the effect of revivifying that which was quietly expiring of neglect.”Joe quotes the cliché that “Having a resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to get sick” and links resentments to addiction. Ali talks about how resentments led to disordered eating.Joe proposes complete forgiveness for all harms and Sam says “That’s Christianity!” and also Hare Krishna. The team discuss political resentments and justified resentment. The concept of The Secret Place, which is consciousness, is elucidated.Ali brings up old people trapped in bitterness and resentment. Sam discusses what memories came up for him when he had kids, and that he “is his parents”. The team get into some deep therapy gear & discuss spiritual solutions to deep seated problems. Joe realises Jesus is his homie. Sam points out that while that might be true Joe is actually the Woman at the Well. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samaritan_woman_at_the_well(00:00) - Theme (00:22) - Host intro (00:31) - Discussing Personal Diagnoses and Neurodivergence (02:10) - Listener feedback: show blurb / we should discuss our diagnoses more (04:13) - The Impact of Resentments on Mental Health (24:20) - The Power of Forgiveness and Positive Thinking (27:49) - The Role of Therapy in Overcoming Resentments (31:49) - Personal Experiences with Resentments and Forgiveness (40:41) - The Influence of Parents and Childhood on Adult Relationships (50:44) - The Role of Spirituality in Overcoming Resentments (59:32) - Conclusion: The Continuous Journey of Self-Improvement Creators & Guests Ali Catramados - Host Joe Loh - Host Sam Ellis - Host If you enjoy the show, others may also. It can be helpful to tell th