Keep Them Coming with Open the Doors Coaching
Kristen Thomas

Your weekly dose of relationship and sex talk. Hosted by Kristen Thomas, a Certified Sex Coach living in the Midwest, who takes a look at love, lust, and everything in between. You'll hear personal stories from her and her guests about steamy sex, broken hearts, BDSM, community activism, recovering from trauma, and so much more. Listener discretion advised (18+). Original theme song and production by MKoussa Cover art by Fuller Creative, LLC Open the Doors Coaching, LLC logo by Dazium Design Studio.


September is Sexual Health Month and Kristen is kicking off with guest Caroline Markel Hammond. Her organization Safe In Harms Way helps people prepare to safely leave unhealthy relationships. TW: SA Part of Caroline's work is to normalize talking about emotional and sexual abuse so that people don't feel alone in the world. Topics include reframing past experiences, sexological changes as we age, and being that friend in the group that will always be happy to talk about sex to educate our circle. 

Sarah G is the co-host of the Dating Kinda Sucks podcast and the one who started it all with her blog chronicling her online dating mishaps. Sarah's also a writer, a hopeless romantic, and soon to be cohabitating with her LTR, so obviously, things got better! We talked about authenticity in dating, creepy app experiences, and using social media to help people learn to date better. 

President of the Adult Performance Artists Guild Alana Evans guides us through the train wreck many of us couldn't look away from. Since OnlyFans announced they would ban sexually explicit content, online adult performers are feeling abandoned and worried. This episode was recorded Mon August 23, as of today Aug 25th, OnlyFans has 'suspend' the October 1st deadline for content to be removed from performer's pages, citing assurances from their banking partners. It's a lot to keep up with this, but Alana, an advocate and actress herself, provides insights and action steps for SW's and artists to protect themselves and their work. Even if OF has reversed last week's decision, the fear of losing one's livelihood is not gone.Find her @alanaevansxxx on Twitter. Follow the APAG Union as well. Mentioned in the episode: NCOSE or National Center on Sexual Exploitation AKA Morality in MediaConsent List - 2257 paperwork CSAM - Child Sex Abuse Material SISEA - Introduced in the US Senate, never made it to a vote. 

Ever wish you lasted longer in bed? Ever wish you could both get your big O during partnered play time every time? The Orgasm Gap is real - 85% of heterosexual men report reaching climax with their partner, whereas only 65% of heterosexual women say the same. How do we close the gap? Promescent CEO and my new pal Jeff Abraham came on KTC to tell us all about their product line that makes sex even better. With products that are proven to improve your intimacy, Promescent has something for everyone, including lubes, toys, condoms, arousal gels, and their signature Delay Spray. Listen all the way through for a discount code to get 15% off your order at promescent.com. 

I had a fellow podcast host on this episode. Adam Avitable is one of two hosts on the Dating Kinda Sucks podcast. I'm hoping to get his co-host Sarah on soon for pt 2) . We met through TikTok, so we talked about some of our experiences, but most of it was about what we've got going on IRL.We discussed red flags, how we screen people out during dating, and what we feel the differences are between sexual chemistry and compatibility and why they are.Find Adam on socials, especially TikTok, @avitable and listen to the Dating Kinda Sucks podcast on any platform you choose, or you can got to datingkindasucks.com.Want help with your love life? Learn more about Kristen's coaching services at openthedoorscoaching.com.

Today's episode is a Q&A session. I've had people write in questions they'd like answered, including: "What are some of the ways to stay wet? I get wet easily but can't stay wet after we've started." "How is sex/blow jobs/hand jobs different when a guy is uncircumcised? What do you have to do differently to work with the extra skin?" "How do I say it (initiate sex)? The only way I can truly think of is 'wanna go upstairs'?"  Mentioned in the episode: Text me at 339-900-2304 to ask me anything privately with #AMA, ask a question to be answered on Keep Them Coming with #podcast, or subscribe to updates with #subscribe. Powered by Texty. Sign up for the SFW or NSFW Dirty Bird email lists.  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/support

Her book is forthcoming, but Stephanie Carey joined me to share a glimpse into her story behind Jesus Stole My Power. She shared how she changed from a sheltered purity-culture riddled girl to a women who's learning more and more how to stand tall and own her life and especially her sexuality. To anyone out there who ever worries they are "being punished" for being a sexual person, you'll want to hear this interview.  Mentioned in the episode: The Pitch Kansas City, Linda Kay Klein's Pure --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/support

In this solo show, I explore some of the things I've found in practice are characteristics of couples who aren't feeling connected in the bedroom. There are ways to build a great sexual connection that has you and your partner craving more. Want to have a better sex? Do these 13 things according to The Gottman Institute.  Mentioned in the show: Dipsea - try the Audible of audio-erotic 7 days for free.  My upcoming online workshop - C*ckworship! Get your tickets for the July 29th, 2012 virtual workshop that will change how you approach sucking a D!  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/support

Mistress Elliot is well known in our community, and we can call her the Queen of Naughty. She owns a private dungeon The Black Dog, so of course I needed to have her on Keep Them Coming! I've talked before about BDSM and kink on the show, but Mistress Elliot provided some great insights into several kinks, as well as dungeon etiquette. She explained some of the old and new protocols AKA the rules, so that people understand better what they may be in for, and into. If you want to explore BDSM, you need to listen to this episode!  I enjoyed getting to know more about her story - swinging, her midlife meltdown, letting go of body shame, hard realizations, how she healed her trauma, owning two good boys through her "benevolent dictatorship", and why we love doing couples/relationship work with clients. I can't wait to go to her dungeon and roll around on the red velvet furniture while I watch some scenes. I admit it - I'm a voyeur!  Check out the book Tribe by Sebastian Junger Find Mistress Elliot at healingkc.com or on FetLife look up Mistress Elliot or The Black Dog in Kansas City. Email her at me@mistresselliot.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/support

I enjoy releasing episodes on June 9th! I mean it's 6-9. It's my favorite day of the year. Happy 6-9 if you happen to be listening on release day, if not, I hope you got to enjoy the day properly! My guest today is a friend of mine. His name is Johnny Araña. He tells a lot of stories of course, about what he's had going on with this pandemic porn star lifestyle, how he got into it... He's just like doctor, girlfriend. He didn't just do this because the pandemic MADE him. Certainly he's made some great money off of it and being able to pay his bills, but he wanted to do this before the world shut down. It wasn't just the pressure of the world changing, his story really is just one of capitalizing on talent and opportunity! He also tells some hilarious stories about being a bull in the swinger lifestyle. He's also a former lover of mine, and he's one of the few people out there who can give me two thumbs up on my skill level and what I bring to the table, and I think he said something along the lines of like, ah, yeah, you are exactly the person who should be teaching a workshop about c*ckworship. If you missed my last workshop, Johnny Araña gives me the full vouch. Find Johnny Araña on Twitter @JohnnyAranaXXX --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/support

I'm so excited to have Kaytlin Bailey return to the show. You can check out her first episode, The Oldest Professional with Kaytlin Bailey on Ep. 79. Kaytlin's back for a second time because today is Sex Work Day, also known as International Whores' Day. Kaytlin provided me with a bit of a legislative update, letting us know what's going on around the country, and she discussed how her organization is helping promote sex work and the decriminalization of sex work across the country through art. Ultimately this podcast episode is just a good conversation between two people who like talking about sex and are confident in our support for sex workers. Find Kaytlin on Twitter @OLDPROinc or sign up for The Old Pro newsletter. Check out her fabulous show The Oldest Profession Podcast too!  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/support

My show today is the first part of a two-part series that I am doing about Pandemic Porn Stars. So I was really happy to welcome UrChaotic Girlfriend, AKA Dr Girlfriend, to the show. She's a Twitter friend who I watched make a transition. You know, when the pandemic hit, a lot of people had the office jobs, the 8-5s, but that shit wasn't working for everybody, not just the idea of going into the office, whatever the pay was, things like that. A lot of people decided to just make a change. And, you know, I love to tell people's stories, especially when it involves sex and intimacy! So of course I wanted to find out what it was like to make that switch to doing online sex work. We talked about what it's like to have your nude photos leaked online and to get doxed, and how she took control of the situation after that. You may also be surprised to learn how much work it actually takes to be an online sex worker. We got into some of the nitty gritty about how she's built her business, because legit, it has a business, no matter what you think It's a fucking business. Find her on Twitter @urchaoticgf --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/support

My interview today is with Kristin Summers, who is the CEO of MindStar health. That is a self-care app that she's developed. She had a divorce at the beginning of the pandemic. So we talked about her post divorce, sexual awakening, and you know how she navigated those waters during the fucking global pandemic. She learned a lot about herself while dating. She's like a lot of people who didn't do a lot of dating before she got married. A lot of people in the Midwest settle down young and you know, then your thirties or forties, it should be all about exploration, but a lot of people struggle with that.  I hope you find some inspiration from Kristin's story. I think one of the more important aspects of our conversation was talking about authenticity and how you not only have to learn about yourself and you've got to learn how to show yourself to other people - You gotta learn how to show up.We talked about the law of seduction and how she's done some online sex work. That's gotten quite popular since the start of the pandemic and it's probably not what you think it is. Yes, it's a long episode, but worth it! Find MindStar through Instagram as she get's ready to launch. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/support

On this episode of Keep Them Coming, I am joined by Lida Rubanava. Lida was born in Belarus, but is currently in New Jersey and sits on the board of Body Politic - a queer feminist wellness, collective and patient advocacy hub. Lida herself is a feminist, activist, and sexologist in training. She believes that the personal is political and wants to help you authentically integrate both in and out of the bedroom.  We discussed how many people struggle with being 'okay' with their sexual identities or kinks because of society/conditioning/shame, and how integration can help work through what your true beliefs and boundaries are. We asked and answered the question - can you be a kinky feminist?  Find Lida Rubanava at rubanava.com and on Instagram @fearlesslida --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/support

My guest today is Suzanne Wheeler. I have been after Suzanne for a while! I wanted her on my show pretty much since I started it. In fact, she was on my list that I compiled when I was thinking about potential early guests. So here I am now episode 85 and it is Transgender Day of Visibility, and I finally have her on the show. Suzanne is the Executive Director of the Mid-America LGBT Chamber of Commerce, the only Transgender Woman leading a Chamber nationwide, but she is so much more than that. Suzanne is an ambassador for the gay community here in Kansas City, making sure that businesses are represented and promoted and has even had a hand in some national policy. We discussed her transition, some of the interesting work that she's done in her life, and we talked so much about all that stuff, we didn't even get around to TDOV, which this year is being on March 31st. Transgender Day of Visibility is an annual awareness day, celebrated all over the world and it's dedicated to celebrating the accomplishments of transgender and gender non-conforming people, while also raising awareness of the work that still needs to be done to achieve trans justice. (Via GLSEN.org) You've heard me say it on my show before, but if you're a new listener, here's what I think... I am here to help with sexual liberation and there can be no true and full sexual liberation without racial, social and economic justice. Trans justice is a part of that. A little bit of news for myself. I'm on new social media platform. Catch me on TikTok @coachKristen. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/support

I truly want people to have painful sex no more. By the way , to the male listeners of this show, this is going to be good information for you to know as well so that you can know how to support your partner, or if you yourself have pain during intercourse. If this is something you or your lover has been ignoring, and it's time for solutions. In this episode, I will walk you through steps for reducing pain or eliminating it all together. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/support

I was thrilled to have Alesha Bowman, Owner of unLESHed+, on this episode of Keep Them Coming! Alesha is founded her brand in 2017 to cater to the lifestyle of a plus sized woman. She is way more than just a clothing resale store! We discussed events she's hosted like Trap Burlesque, Poolpalooza, and her plans for a weekend festival celebrating all things for bigger bodies. Of course I asked her about dating! We got into some deep topics about race, dating, authenticity, going Dutch, and fetishization of black and plus sized bodies. "There's a fine line between admiration and fetishization," she says.  Find Alesha Bowman and her shop unLESHed+ at 4243 Troost Ave, KCMO again beginning March 19th, 2021 or online at www.shopunleshed.com, Facebook, or Instagram.  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/support

Think your relationship is strong enough for anything? Two things that drive couples apart most often are sex and money, and I've wanted to have someone on Keep Them Coming to talk about this for a while. Today I am joined by Darcy Elizabeth, who is an energetic money consultant. Just like with sex, there are things we learn from a young age that we carry into adulthood - attitudes that don't serve us, negative beliefs around money, and thinking good sex and wealth are just for other people. We talked about what could be holding people back, The 5 Why's, and transforming your relationship in more ways than one.  You can find Darcie on Instagram and Facebook, as well as her website. Her book, "More Money More Power?" is available in March. Visit her website to pre-order your copy.  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/support

I don't know any single person that's tried internet dating that isn't frustrated with most of their experiences on swipe apps. Enter a totally new experience for you to try! I'm joined today by Zach Schleien from Filter Off. Filter Off is a totally new way to approach those first dates. It's virtual speed dating, so rather than swiping you get to video chat with your potential matches. When was the last time you got 5 first dates in a night while hanging at home?  Find Filter Off at getfilteroff.com, or on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/support

Connecting through touch is important for both solo and partnered play. This episode dives into the power of touch, how to ask for what you want, and what really is sensate focus all about. How do you get your mind and body ready for better experiences? How do you ask your partner for something different and get what you really desire? Gigi Chaurand Kammerer, a yoga teacher, Reiki master and fellow podcaster, joined me for a conversation all about how to apply sensate focus in practical ways.  Find Gigi at mysonandmoon.com. Her podcast Portable Magic is available anywhere you listen to podcasts.  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/keepthemcoming0/support