Become the man you dream of. The Relaxed Male helps men realize their purpose and learn to breathe. Be the father your sons and daughters need. Be the partner your spouse needs. How to be the best man after a divorce. There are solutions if you are willing to get out of your comfort zone.

  Question of the Week by The Brotherhood of Me Why am I not happy in my life? There are a lot of reasons that you are lacking joy and happiness in your life. Since I don't know you from adam I can only guess as to why you are unhappy and restless. The number one reason I would surmise is that you don't have a purpose. What gets you out of bed each morning? People need to have a why a purpose, a passion Whatever you would like to call it, you need one. Something that allows you to struggle and get out of your comfort zone. Sadly many people are just way too damn comfortable for their life. We need struggle and discomfort to have joy in our lives. Much like how we need the valleys of life to celebrate the summits of our achievements. We need dark to appreciate the light. It may sound like a horrible and cruel paradox but look at anybody who is genuinely happy and they will tell about the hard times they had in their life. Why do you think so many poor people appear to be so happy while rich people often appear to be so miserable. That is because of the benefit of the struggle. So how do you wade into something uncomfortable? I would say write down 10 or more things that scare you. Is it speaking in public or possibly joining a group. Start small. You may do what Jia Jiang did and just get people to tell him no. There find the things that scare you and start trying to do them. Don't be afraid of failure. That is a part of learning and skill-building. You didn’t just hop on to a bicycle and start riding no you fell over and over again until you got it. Be a part of something bigger than you. This could be a charity or maybe a project like starting your own business. Yes, the business can be bigger than you. A business is nothing more than you getting paid for a service you perform. So you can find fulfillment from starting a business. You don't have to worry so much about passion. That will actu

Join the Operation: Tears of the 22 Off the Hardball event for the veterans. WIll be happening on August 5-8 at Byrd Adventure Center In the beautiful Ozark National Park Sign up Today Question of the Week by The Brotherhood of Men How do I simplify life and be happy? How to always be happy? Well, I will break it to you you can and actually don't want to be happy all the time. How would it look if you were at your grandmother's funeral and you were just sitting around with a grin on your face? If you were punched in the face you don't want to be just all happy go lucky no you would be upset and rightfully so. So how do you be happy? You accept that life is 50/50. That is life is 50% pleasure and 50% pain. Now, what does pain entail, because it sounds unpleasant right? Yeah, it is anything that is unpleasant or uncomfortable. Feeling awkward is classified as pain. It's not fun feeling like a fish out of water but it is going to happen and it's going to happen often. So, you need to practice accepting that life isn’t going to be all sunshine and lollipops. That is where much of people's anxiety comes from they think they have to be happy and they aren’t they are feeling scared or awkward or uncomfortable in some way and they obsess over this fact that they don't feel like they believe they should. Now you can also mitigate your emotional being by understanding that all your emotions are not created by your environment. No, your environment has no control over you, people have no control over your emotions. They cant make you mad nor can they make you happy. You can respond to their actions. You can have a thought about what they said and if it isn’t pleasant then you can actually start working on changing the perspective as to how you are thinking. Take someone cutting you off in traffic. That person may not have seen you because he just got a call that his daughter was in an accident and is being t

Join me in helping Operation: Tears of the 22 and their first-time event over at the Byrd Adventure Center in Arkansas. This is happening between August 5-8 and are they ever putting up a bang-up event. There are going to be music and jeep rides on the many trails that span around the heart of the Ozark National Forest. on top of all that, there are going to be some amazing food trucks there to squash any hunger you have. We will also be having an auction where one of the lots is a 3-month coaching package with me! So join up and let Matt and Rich know that you are going to the event by visiting the event page Question of the Week by The Brotherhood of Men How can you instill the understanding early on in a child's life that gang members should not be looked up to as role models and, despite its appealing nature, to walk their path would be a great misfortune? That is a great question. Now I have a firm belief as to why gangs are so attractive to young people. now I can bash the music. The songs today promote and seem to encourage lots of today's youth to look at gangs in a romanticized manner. There are all the drugs the sense of comradery. you get to have guns and the like. Yet how do you change the hearts and minds of these kids from wanting to join a dead-end street like being in a gang? To answer that We need to look at what the problem is, that problem is that there is no father in the picture. Thanks to many well-intended government programs the role of needing a father in the house has been diminished. Now when a woman gets pregnant she doesn’t have to turn to the father and say we need to raise this kid together. Instead, they turn to their rich Uncle Sam and he gives them money for food and daycare and rent and everything else that a father is sup

Special Announcement if you are a veteran of any branch of the military there is a special event going on with the guys of Operation: Tears of the 22 over at Byrd Adventure Center on August 5-8. There are going to be Jeep rides brought to you by local Jeep clubs, and giving you a chance to camp and enjoy nature, almost smack dap in the middle of the Ozark National Forest. If you are interested in joining me and other vets as we let loose go over to the event page and let Matt and Rich know that you are interested or better yet commit and say you are going. Main Event This week I have a special guest this week. We are talking with MJ Durkin from the Men of Honor Podcast. He cranks out 3 episodes each week so if that gives you any idea as to how much MJ likes to talk about what it takes to be a Man of Honor.  This week I asked MJ Durking to be on the show because I am seeing men struggling with a divorce. Yeah, divorce is dirty and often unfair to the men who are involved. Yet, there are lessons that a married man can learn from a man who has gone through a divorce.  There are two different paths you can take. There is the victim road or there is the way of the honorable man. So stick the earbuds in and listen to my conversation with MJ Durkin, and see that you can actually save your marriage by starting to be the man in your relationship. Facebook group; Website: Instagram; Website: Facebook;  

Mention   The Operation: Tears of the 22 off the Hardball event is coming up on August 5-8 Free for veterans and their families. There are going to be Jeep clubs there for you to go rock crawling and other jeep trails. Fishing and hiking, Then there is the benefit of being our in nature.   Event Page:   Question of the week   Why does toxic masculinity exist in our society?   The term toxic masculinity was a word created by people who needed a boogyman to pin their troubles on. Now with that said there is no actual toxic masculinity there are however guys who don't know how to act and the cause of this is because of a lack of strong masculine presence in these boy's lives.   This is thanks to the no-fault divorce and the government coming in to play the financial part of the father role. There are many people who think with these events that men are not needed for much and that isn’t the case. Men are vital to the raising of kids and boys in particular. Men teach kids boundaries and why sticking to those boundaries is important. Men teach kids that being strong and competitive is needed for you to be successful. Men also teach their kids that hard work is imperative to being able to get what you are wanting.   Men also show boys how a man is supposed to act. Without the strong male influence in a boy's life, they look to other boys who are older and don't have a father who taught them how to act. So the problem is slowly amplifying itself since the ’60s.   Main Topic   We have all heard the phrase happy wife happy life right? What does that typically mean to you or others? It seems that many people and this includes women, people completely misinterpret what this old saying means and how it is supposed to be implemented.   How do you have a happy wife?   You have a happy wife by making sure you let her know that you are o

If you are a veteran there is an event just for you coming August 5-8 in Byrd, AR. It is being brought to you by Operation: Tears of the 22. There will be food trucks, music, talks, and Jeep rides. If you are interested you can get more information on Facebook event page Question Of The Week How does someone adapt to not having a mother throughout their lives and not be bitter? A boy needs his mother yes. The same as a boy needs his father. The same as a girl needs both parents as well. Now why the reasons why your mother left can vary and I don’t know the reasons as to why you don’t have your mom in your life. Yet it could be that your mom wasn’t around because she died, to drug abuse, to some other very selfish reasons. People have had their mothers leave their lives for centuries and millenniums. Yet some people are able to carry on and others sit in self-pity feeling bad for themselves. Asking a question they can never answer. There are some good bits of news and some bad bits of news on this front. The Bad News Let’s get the hard part over with. Yes, your mother left you. It is sad, and you don’t have a reason why. The frustrating part of this is that you will never have a full reason why. Even if your mom is still alive, you won’t get all your questions answered. My mom left me and my dad. Now she was still in my life. So I was in a better boat Thani other people but she left my dad and me to live in a small town and she went to a large city. When I was younger there were times that I was sad that she left. Yeah, I was glad when I got to see her and knew that she loved me. Yet she wasn’t around. I went through a time of thinking it was me and I acted out in those times. really gave my stepmother a rough time. I am not proud of my past as a young man. I almost repeated the whole thing when my daughter was born. I didn’t see her first year in her life yet Thankfully I did see her and eventually had her in my house for several years till she wanted to go back to her grandmother’s house. Now I tell that whole story to explain we all adapt. How you adapt is up to you. There is very little in life you can control and the fact that you are wanting to know how to have that feeling in your life that you had a mom that cared for you. Now since I don’t know your mom I don’t know for sure but if your mom is still alive, there is a chance that she does still care about you. She may not show it in the ways you would imagine she should but th

  Question of the week by The Brotherhood of Men   How do I become a better father, husband, and steward of the community, despite having a rough past? by Bryan Whitson Build your 4 pillars of a good man. Your mind Read learn and grow. Learn about yourself. Read how to communicate with your son and with your spouse. As you read apply the lessons you learn. Write in a journal that way you are leaving a gift for your family. You are also able to see your improvements. Writing does a great job of cleaning your mind and empties your thoughts. with communication though know the secret to all of it is seek first to understand before you are to be understood. A good book to read is The Boy Crisis by Dr Warren Farrell. The first 3/4 of the book is great the last 1/4 gets a little iffy on some of the claims but that could just be my cognitive dissidence in action. your body exercise, build your body. I don’t mean bull up but take care of yourself. This will come in handy when your son and daughter are older. Men also need to control violence in their life, so get into jujitsu or some other physical sport. This teaches you to control and expels the excess energy that will cause you to become listless. your soul  Find your passion work towards it. If you are dreaming of having your own business the do it you don’t have to blow all your savings on getting it started but work towards it. Start that journey. find something that feeds your soul maybe it is volunteering to help the homeless or working for some charity. Maybe it is building RC planes, or carving little figurines out of wood. Find a passion and stick to it. Hint what did you like to do when you were a tween or a teenager? That is a big clue to your calling. Have a hobby or something you do outdoors. This is another activity that will come in handy when your kids are older and you are wanting them to open up to you. your community Get in a church if you are religious. It doesn’t hu

Announcements Announcements Workshop for Divorced Men New Gear for a better podcast - Zoom Podtrak P4 Question of the Week by The Brotherhood of Men Is it normal to feel discouraged about hobbies if your parents get too involved? I am going to assume that you are around the age of 14–18 years old, and still living in your parent's house. With that being the case the answer can be yeah. You are wanting to be your own person and when your parents jump into something that you like doing it is like the squares are invading a party. Yet I would encourage you to look at it in a different way. Ask yourself why they are they wanting to do what I am doing? It could be that they are wanting to monitor you and see that you aren’t doing anything wrong. Yet. it could also be that they are wanting to be in your life. They want to understand your passions and what drives you. Most of the time your boring parents are wanting to spend time with you. When they know you are in the basement working on a model RC plane they know they can come down and talk with you and learn from you. Most of the time they are wanting to spend time with you. They do love you and want to have as much time as possible with you before you leave the nest and live your life. Try asking them why they are showing interest. When they ask annoying questions take it as you are able to teach your parents something. Main Topic Define who you want to be your friend Who is your 3 am people? WHo do you look for? No, they don’t have to all think like you They need to have the same drive. Helps if you all can meet at the same time  Where do you find people who could be in Your band of brothers? Church Social Gatherings Community events Civic Organizations Clubs Fraternity org

Question of The Week by The Brotherhood Of Men What is the best way to become a good father to a teenager you just met? Now I don't know all the details so let's do this in two parts. Those parts will be the most likely scenarios, This is your stepson and a boy in your neighborhood. Stepson If the boy is your stepson then your role isn’t the disciplinarian. This isn’t really gonna work for two reasons the teenager doesn’t have that type of bond with you. The other reason is that the biological parent will eventually take offense to you disciplining their child. They may be ok with it at first but they will eventually take the child's side. So thinking you are going to be the lord of your manor is out the window. Your role is to be a mentor. In fact, this role really needs to be what all parents are for their teenagers. They're at the point now that have a mind and they have free will and trying to herd them like they are 8 simply makes the rebellion in then go harder the other way. To mentor the teen, include them in your life. Talk to them but don't lecture. Seek first to understand what they are saying before you ever try to be understood. The understood part will come but if you just do the hardest thing possible and just listen they will actually turn to your for advice before they turn to the moron friends. The kid in the Neighborhood For the kid in the neighborhood if you are wanting to help a young adult out you may want to involve their mother in the discussion because if you don't have her on board you will be fighting an uphill battle because the mom may feel that you are trying to take her child away. When in all reality you are just trying to inject some strong masculine influence into his life. When she is on board then you again include the kid in your life. invite them to go camping. If you are going on a hike then share your time as freely as you can. Again like the stepchild you are a mentor. You don't have the power to discipline. So you have to talk to them and listen to what they are saying. Understand what is coming out of their mouth and let them ask for advice.

Question of the week by Brotherhood of Men Why am I getting angry over small things and ending up so much frustrated and at last beating myself or beating others? Well, there are a few points that can help you stop getting angry all the time. The first, is to know what is the opposite of love? It's not anger nor is it often thought of as being hate. The true opposite of love is fear. Fear destroys while love builds. The second is nobody can do anything emotionally to you. They can not make you mad. They cant make you happy. They cant make you nervous. All these emotions you feel come from one thing a thought you had. Now you may have been in a situation that created a thought that generated a particular emotion. The solution is simple but it takes a lot of practice. Start paying attention to what you are thinking. Look at and try to understand what thoughts you have under different circumstances. If you are having trouble with this and you are always jumping to something in your past you may want to see a counselor, to address why past thoughts are your go-to response. Many times when you do “thought work” realize what thought is causing the anger you cant start working on changing that thought and trying to examine the why around that thought. You can see that there are other ways to approach that same circumstance and they can also be very positive. If you find that you are taking minor actions and comments and making them mean something personal and getting angry that way. Then you can seek out a coach or someone of that nature so they can help you with your thought work. There are a few ways you can mitigate anger when you are in the moment that you find yourself getting worked up over something. Take a step back deep breathes talk to a friend Changing your overall mindset is also something that can help with your anger issues. Exercise, not just a push-up or two but get into physical exercise like JuJitSu some type of controlled violence. If you don't have anything like that around you then find a good 50 lbs rock and story throwing it up and down your yar

Question of the Week by The Brotherhood of Men How do I become stronger after a breakup? In the last 2 years I've had my heart broken twice… how do I begin to feel worthy again? How do you become stronger? Much like you become stronger physically you have to work on it. There are different fields you want to turn your attention to. Like your arms, legs, and chest. You have to work on 4 main pillars. Now I don't know if you are a man or a woman and these pillars really don't apply to just one sex but work for both. With my coaching clients, I walk them through the 4 pillars of a Relaxed Male. These 4 pillars are The Man’s Mind Man’s Body Man’s Soul Man’s Community Whenever someone goes through a breakup or divorce, people want to slide into a victim mindset. That is the worst thing you can do. It may seem tough but remember it takes two to tango. So, You had a hand in the breakup too. So it is best to work on yourself. Make yourself the number one priority and work on the 4 pillars. Your Mind - This is where you learn. You need to start reading non-fiction books. Listening to podcasts about something that interests you. Start allowing yourself to grow. Focus on yourself by doing thought work on what are the similarities of both of these last two breakups. You may see that you are finding similarities in the type of partner you are teaming up with. Could be that you are going after someone who is pushing you to go against your values. Then again you may be the one who is doing the pushing. Either way, if you take time to think about it you will see similarities in how the relationship crumbled. If you find that you are the problem, awesome! Celebrate that because you have control over it. You are the only person who you can change. So work on yourself. Get better at understanding the why. Accept that your happiness comes from only one place you. It is actually impossible for you to make another person happy. Things in your life cant make you happy. Losing weight cant make you happy. You have to find that thought that makes you happy because your emotions come from your thoughts. Find ways to make yourself uncomfortable. You grow only when you are out of your comfort zon

Question of the week By The Brotherhood of Men What is the motivation behind people that voluntarily choose to become parental figures to others even without solicitation? Why do affirmations work? Affirmations much like the power of I am, which is an affirmation in itself helps to set your mind into motion what it does best that is making sure it reaches that goal. They affirm a set of beliefs those beliefs can be positive or negative. The reason they work is that you believe what you are saying. So if you believe you have plenty of money for everything you truly want, you know that you don’t have to actually have a scarcity of mindset around money. If you say there is more where that came from you are just doubling up on that thought. If you say you are fat, guess what, you are going to get fat. If you say you are a fit man you will take the steps to make sure that your body fits the image of yourself. If you are a photographer you will  Examples of Affirmations It’s kind of fun to do the impossible - Walt Disney I attract all good things I have plenty of money for everything I truly want I have a choice. I can be angry for what I don’t have or I can be thankful for what I do have. I can not correct my course if I am standing still I am committed to becoming more successful. To do so, I will put my focus on how I can serve others more successfully. I want to cheer on those people living life alongside me Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be. I will not focus on what I don’t want to have happen. Instead, I am committed to focusing on what I do want to have happen. I am successful because I refuse to take “no” for an answer. How to use affirmations Your brain is a computer. As you make statements, be it positive or negative it will take those statements and make those items important. This is the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. Also called the green car phenomenon. That is where you decide to buy a new car and that car ends up being a green Toyota Corolla. After you pull off the lot suddenly you start to see green Toyota corollas everywh

Question of the week by The Brotherhood of Men What's the best way of handling a teenager’s mood swing? Main topic We struggle with controlling things. Many times we try to control the stuff we can’t control. This often leads to lots of different types of suffering. We get angry and show frustration with those things that we are not able to control but really wish we could. What can you control? There are things in your life that you can actually control. These items can be broken down into three categories. Those categories are your actions, your thoughts, and your emotions. Your actions Taking a breath How you hold yourself How you lead The quality of your work Taking responsibility for your part in the scenario Your thoughts Your integrity Gratitude What you say to yourself Whether you play the victim or not Your emotions Happy Sad Anger Gratitude What you can’t control? There are far more things you can’t control that is going on in your life and these can cause so much extra pain and suffering when you try to control them. We worry about how something will react and will not act in that fashion at all.  Your environment Other people, that includes your kids The actions of Other people Why controlling things beyond your control leads to suffering Trying to control stuff creates worry Stress  anxiety

Question of The Week By The Brotherhood Of Men I wonder know or have contact with anyone that helps single parents pull in the missing element of a mother or father energy in parenting as a single parent or co-parent? Andrea Fitzpatrick How do single parents help their child with the opposite sex influence? This can be single mothers with sons or single fathers with daughters. This also goes for single fathers needing to find A feminine influence for their sons and Girls need a masculine influence in their life. The best way is to find someone who is of that nature that you are needing and ask them if they would mind being a mentor for them. So why do sons need both masculine men and feminine women in their lives? It is for balance. Men are good at teaching kids to be tough. That there is, a time and a place for showing emotions and how to act around men. While women are good at helping kids to emote and to gain empathy. As I have mentioned before Men are not better than women and women are not better than men. They complete the whole puzzle. That is what feminists get wrong. That is what men going their own way get wrong. Are we supposed to understand the opposite sex? Not fully, no. Each half has a part to play and those parts are important for all of society. So where do you find someone of the opposite sex to help make sure your child is balanced? Well, a great place is a church. Another place is in your neighborhood. If you don't know your neighbors why not? Get out and introduce yourself. Get to know your neighbors and you will expand your wellspring for helping matters such as this. Linkedin Profile Main topic Now I am not talking about normal physical attraction. Do you have any of these attributes? Whiner This is the person who is either always feeling sorry for themselves, and whining about how much they suck or the person who can't see anything positive The Ask-Hole This is the person who always wants advice but doesn't really want advice. They will always re-ask the question in a new way. Yet they never take that advice or steps

I bet you know someone who is a problem magnet. Maybe you are a problem magnet. What is a problem magnet you ask well the definition is quite simple it is that person who is always complaining about something going wrong in their life?   Who’s a problem magnet? Always has a problem Has trouble letting go of problems Actively seeks out problems These are people who always have a crisis in their life Complaining is announcing that you want crap in your life   Why do people become problem magnets? They like the attention Victim mindset They are used to the chaos of a problem   How do you stop being a Problem magnet? Own your dirt Stop Complaining Be grateful for what you have Have a Question for Bryan? Email:

Question of the Week by The Brotherhood Of Men I have low self-esteem, short height, no talent, no skills, average intelligence, and bad social skills. What do I do? How can you find happiness? Many people seem to think that they cant be happy. That is probably true. The reason they can't find a way to be happy is that they don't know the recipe for happiness. The Recipe Now, this isn't my recipe, and I didn't get it from my grandmother or anything. I am not really sure who I got this from but I believe I heard this from Ryan Michler of Order of Man. Yet the recipe is sound. Because you get out of life what you put into it. 1 Part Discipline Yeah, this is the hard part. You have to learn to hold off the short term success for the reward of being disciplined. Many times we want to reach for the cookie on the counter instead of going for the lower weight. Discipline is not always comfortable. Yet if you accept the discipline you will find that the discomfort isn't that bad. Holding off the short term reward for your long term gain will offer so many better skills for your life. So Why Discipline? Because in real life order is needed. Look at those people who are actually lacking discipline or just want to live life on a whim. You see they really don't get anywhere. Having discipline is like the rudder in your life. You are willing to do what is needed to get to your goals. IF you are just floating along the river of life without a rudder you may get to where you are wanting but those chances are very very unlikely. 1 Part Purpose You have to have a drive. Having a purpose in doing something is the gas in your tank. You need to know why you are going after that particular goal. You need to see what that goal is and have a clear picture of what it will look like when you get there. Find your purpose and remind yourself daily on your why. 2 Parts Gratitude This is the leavening agent for your life. Gratitude is what sets your mindset to the growth and Abundant mindsets. You are willing to try because you see that even when you fail you are learning. Your attitude is more positive and your life is no as hard. You can endure

Main Topic How can you tap into the power of your mind? The answer is the question. How many times have you asked yourself useless questions? Like why am I fat? or Can I make a dumber question? The reason those are useless is that they go against what you are wanting to be answered. The great computer Your mind is a great computer and if you ask it a question it will find the answer to that question you ask. So, if you do ask why are so dumb it will find all the reasons you have a low IQ. If you ask why you are fat it will give you all those reasons and that will reinforce your overweight problem. Ask Powerful Question What does this make possible? Why is this problem so excellent? What is the next step I can take? What am I grateful for? What Am I going to get accomplished tomorrow?

  This week I talk to my son Jayden about growing up and the challenges he faces. What he thinks is needed for you to be able to succeed. We talk about when he was growing up to when he discovered that rebelling doesn't serve all the time but why kids do rebel. How do young men of today need to do to reach their dreams and how do they approach life? They do want meaning and purpose much as many people do.

Main Topic What do does it mean to hold space? You may have heard people say this from time to time and it sounds a bit odd. Holding space. How could one possibly hold space for yourself or anybody else? That is what I want to actually help you understand this week. How do you hold space for anybody including yourself? What do I mean by holding space? In a nutshell, holding space is not acting right off the bad. We jump in to help our wives when they are having a hard day. We are trying to fix a problem and in reality, they don't want us to fix it they want us to help hold space for them. Holding space is just being there for the other person. You can also call it being present. Be fully with a person, not just sit by them and think of the camping trip. Holding space means you are present with your mind body and with emotions. This is something we guys have a hard time doing because we are looking for solutions we are fixers. Yet as a skill it helps us to connect with our wives on a deeper level. It provides us with the ability to help her feel emotionally safe. When our wives feel emotionally and physically safe they are more receptive to wanting to be frisky. Many times when we are not holding space we make comments that cause our spouse or kid to feel judged and though there are times and places to for placing judgment on an activity it isn't when someone is being emotionally vulnerable and needing your help. So how do you hold space for someone or even yourself? Holding Space Focus your listening Hear what they are saying many times we hear with our own thoughts. This can be a challenging task, and to keep focused on what and how a person is saying something can really be a challenge. Yet if you can develop the skill of being present and listening you can make strides that man men fail at doing. Stay out of problem solving mode Yes men it isn't about the nail. Guys, we know all about this and we feel the man if that classic video "It's Not About the Nail" This hits both sides of the man and woman dynamic so well. She knows there's a nail in her forehead but she doesn't want to have the nail removed she wants to talk about it. That is what it's like to not jump to fix-it mode. just hear what your son or your wife is saying and connect with them on a different level instead of just running into a room with your tool belt on.

Question of the week by The Brotherhood Of Men. I handled all the finances. The kids well being, cleaned, full time career, still got told I wasn’t enough. So it’s really just up to what the woman thinks anonymous There is so much that is wrong with this comment first the guy is making the comment from a victim mindset. He does all of these things for the family and is getting no recognition or respect. This is sad but my question is what is his part of the situation. From what I was able to gather from the comment itself is that he is playing the nice guy and is setting up silent contracts about the situation with his wife and she is tired of him not stepping up and doing his part. Instead of hiding from his marital duties the gentle man needs to start stepping it up or he is going to lose everything and