A goldfish is supposed to forget things. That is the whole reputation. Three second memory. Clean slate every moment. Blissfully unaware of grudges, complaints, or the concept of payback. But what if one tiny goldfish remembers one thing for just a bit too long, and decides it is time for revenge.In a classroom, there is a fish tank. Inside the fish tank, there is a castle. Inside the castle lives a goldfish with a very specific problem. Every single day, at approximately two fifteen in the afternoon, a pencil starts tapping on the glass. Tap tap tap. Rhythmic, relentless, absolutely maddening.At first, the goldfish does what goldfish do. He forgets about it three seconds later and goes back to swimming his usual loop around the plastic treasure chest. But then it happens again. And again. And slowly, impossibly, against all goldfish biology, the memory starts to stick.The goldfish begins to notice patterns. The pencil tapping happens during maths. It is always the same child. The same smug face pressed against the glass. The same irritating rhythm that makes the water vibrate in a way that is deeply, personally offensive.The goldfish decides something must be done.What follows is the most ridiculous training montage in aquatic history. The goldfish practices. He strategises. He uses the castle as a base of operations. He enlists help from a snail who moves so slowly it takes three days to hear the full plan but agrees anyway because snails are loyal like that. There are pebbles that start wobbling at suspicious moments. There is green slime appearing in places where green slime has absolutely no business being. There are bubbles that seem to pop with intention.The classroom begins to notice that something odd is happening near the fish tank. Pencils go missing. Homework gets mysteriously damp. The castle, which used to sit peacefully at the bottom of the tank, now seems to loom with quiet menace. And the goldfish, who previously looked vacant and content, now has an expression that can only be described as focused.The pencil tapping child starts to feel nervous. The tapping becomes less confident. The smug face pressed against the glass begins to look worried. Because there is something deeply unsettling about being outsmarted by a creature with a brain the size of a pea and a memory that technically should not be working this well.This is a funny bedtime story for kids who love school stories, mischievous animals, ridiculous classroom drama, and the glorious idea that even the smallest creature can have a big plan. It is also for grown ups who have sat through one too many evenings of homework stress and would quite like to laugh about the absurdity of school life from a safe distance. The story is a kids storytelling podcast gem that feels bonkers but still safe, kind, and wholesome.Perfect for family listening after school when homework tension is building, during car journeys when everyone needs a giggle, or at bedtime when you want silliness that eventually winds down into calm. The mayhem bubbles away beautifully, the revenge plot thickens in the most ridiculous way possible, and then the story settles into a warm ending that makes it a cosy bedtime story choice.If you are searching for audio stories for children with silly suspense, animal characters with personality, and funny bedtime stories for kids that make tired parents smile too, this goldfish is ready to teach everyone a lesson about underestimating the little guy.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is performance driven storytelling full of warmth, oddness, and heart.Episode length: approximately 11 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downFollow the show for more stories for tired parents and clever kids who like their nonsense kind hearted.