The Dick Show
DickMasterson
NSFW
The Dick Show is a weekly science and rage based podcast where everything is a contest and there ams no rules--especially grammar rules. Chock-full of Dick Tips and the answers to questions like, 'Are you a rage?' and 'What even is a libertarian?' The Dick Show. Get some.
Protestors playing stupid games on the freeway, dogs vs. fireworks, music wars, Cancel Coin, Ryan Long calls in about street drinking, outing men for being straight, Drow elves, transgendered quantum physics, cucks, big fat pigs, and what the opposite sex finds attractive, and my State of the Union address; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

New Project 2 is globally blacklisted by MasterCard, Lowtax is falsely accused of domestic assault and resigns from Something Awful, voice actors unite to get attention, how Mormon love is better than your love, Nick Rekieta talks Twitch thot lawsuits, the secret of sales, the erasure of history, the NASCAR of nooses, and the show has gone off the rails; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A week of LA Killstreams, Sophia Narwitz on the Minneapolis riots, Jesse Lee Peterson offers to marry me, back to Pilates, how fat women got on lockdown, throwing my neck out looking at boobs, Plantation Simulator, Tommy Tallarico and the Earthworm Jim Amico, the Macy's beatdown, statues getting ripped down, The Last of Us: Part 2, twin trouble, girls who want to see other people and think about themselves, and how to celebrate Father's Day; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Racist systems, Vermin Supreme calls in, faking your death, shaving your ugly face, Aydin talks about Karen syndrome, exercising while fat, anxiety dreams about the show, what Ralph is known for: clean living, salads, and emotional restraint, Kian is too good at Magic, my wife is sending nudes, the CHAZ, dental police, and a guy who won't stop talking about his childhood; all that and more this week on the Dick Show!

SWAT waiters, defunding the police, too much circle meat, old men falling down, Smash Brothers coaching, Black Lives Matter killed the COVID hoax, juggling two women, Xanax vs. crack cocaine, Maddox appropriate's his ex-girlfriend's culture of victimhood, Nickelodeon's tutorial on breathing, wearing earrings wrong, women can't do simple math, and not having an honest conversation about race; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

My coverage on the street of the LA riots, giving Sean smooches, a failure to launch, Johnny and Coach in studio, an argument with Null about CDA 230 protections, Nick Rekieta's 3PM breakfast, a guy pretending to be a girl on OnlyFans, a guy whose wife was pulling in 9k on OnlyFans, death by self-driving car, and first-hand Antifa antics; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Maddox changes his voice to call Keemstar a Nazi, Digibro transitions to Digi-Nee and it is not a bit, the Libertarian debates, the future fights of sex robots, Ralph and Null have a big fight and then attempt to apologize, the cam wh*re controversy continues, Vito's new Star Wars video is out, Screw Louie is back to Square One in The Virgin Contest, some advice for a busty Israeli with a butter face, taking things too seriously, my nose job, Sean doesn't like Rand Paul, and the real Dick Show four-year anniversary; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I am confronted for not wearing a mask, Screwy Louie comes in to talk about the virgin contest, MC Jarbo talks about his new album, "Chronicles of a Cuck", Poe's Law, the white trash cycle, deer-kin, fat moms, the mental patients who run the world, how to be a finance, an army of contact tracers, The Fed starts buying ETFs, the THOT Patroler, the new Black Cat, sick health officials, and how to make a non-racist AI; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

My drunken, multi-stream meltdown, the New Project 2 Mafia and Sean the Capo, fake white nationalism, returning shopping carts, Screwy Louie has a date, Null calls in to talk kids, legacies, and the burning trash fire I dumped in his lap, Maddox is pretending to be a cowboy for some reason, Chris the Kiwi has a busy weekend, Mersh from Revenge of the Cis talks about strip clubs, and how to keep your wife busy at home; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Bird and I are accused of being Antifa at a freedom protest, Andrew Tate Calls in to talk kickboxing and cam whoring, The Little Irishman draws all over his brother, Maddox calls me a rapist and a pedophile, what happened to health insurance, debts and liabilities outgrow assets, men's entitlement, women's ingratitude, the Hard Men Working Hard create a chart-topper, and dealing with LGBT parents; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I can't find my Nintendo DS, Vito brings in a card game, I apologize to Chris the Kiwi, homeschooling, Digibro's categorizes everyone in The Dick Show, Doc Rieux has stories from the ER, Crippled Jesus' mom's boyfriend drops a hot beat, Japan is better than the US, Tifa vs. Aerith, pedophiles, pedophiles, pedophiles, and Reactor, Tim Pool's brother, is a gold-bricking douchebag who got kicked out of the band; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Power buttons that correct you, living the Adult Baby Diaper Lifestyle, California fills up a skate park, Frank Hassel works out and drops hotdogs, the Final Fantasy 7 remake, entertaining Anthony Cumia, Chris Hansen congratulates me and my garbages, tyranny comes from next door, Bam Bam's Easter Madlibs, how to find your broken half, and helping Kiwi Chris make a hooker his housewife; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Lucie Wilde gets a breast reduction, sneezing with a sore back, Burning Man is canceled, dancing nurses, Bill Gates microchip n-word bargain, my YouTube recommendations are ruined, a real live cuck calls in, a Bernie Bro tells me I was right--which I was--and why he did, magical beliefs, Gator's ghosts, New York City problems that we all have to deal with, and Sean goes on That Larry Show; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Chris Hansen tries to front, I interview Onision on The Ralph Retort, an FTMTF calls in about having a baby, Joey Salads is in studio, COVID death models, a bicycler hits my car, an 18 year old is going to kill himself unless we tell him the meaning of life, Wrestlemania sucks, JMAA calls in to apologize for calling me a comedy vampire, Nicholas DeOrio, Karl from "Who Are These Podcasts", and Communism Lite; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A guy fakes his own death, Kiwi Chris and Cantillions make up, my dad calls in to call us out of touch, I ruin my hall of fame induction on The Ralph Retort, Null talks about Big Simpin, JF Garpey talks about deplatforming, we take every single person in the Discord, and Sean gets a new watch; all that and more on this very special 200th episode of The Dick Show!

I get my hair cut like a troll doll, Road Rage: LA is canceled, Martial Law were declared, 8chan founder Fredrick Brennan, the creator of 8chan, calls in and has an argument, Carldo2: the NYC COVID-19 sanitization hero calls in, Arby's sends me a coupon, Ari talks about cruises and ankle bracelets, I get a hamster and defend liberty against all the grandma lovers; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Ice T likes my Tweet, a fat woman tries to buy water, I break a meth pipe, 80s Girl dyes her hair, Ethan Ralph calls in after using the "gamer word" on The Drunken Peasants, drug lingo, Null gets banned from the US, why Boomers don't deserve quarter, Nick Rekieta is coming to Road Rage: Los Angeles, Doug TenNapel talks about homosexuals getting into heaven, Martina Markota accuses an artist of stealing money and does not call in to defend it, an Appalachian State University professor loses her mind, Dr. Nurse also loses her mind, and my thoughts on Brittany Venti; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

International Women's 23 Hours, the Coronavirus kills a venue, Twitter makes racist Mad Libs, every woman I know takes the water jug challenge, a girl laughs at a guy's penis, Stefan Molyneux calls in and talks about everything from eggs to egregious monetary policy, "I'm from New York" and the jackasses who say it, Riley screws up a bit, Maddox's Patreon falls to $75 a month, the death of handshakes, the death of Boomers, and the death of the commute, the importance of conferences, and the grids at the end of deoderant; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

My home security system is destroyed, pre-tipping and the dummies who do it, "okay dude" and transphobia, I get duped by a fake chef, the gradual squeezing out of your spending money, Vito talks about comics, Sean talks about sports, I talk about the Federal Reserve, child pornography stickers, a hot girl laughs at Maddox, SSRIs and your erection, Kiwi Chris supports Busby's East and has medical advice, the Hard Men Working Hard release an album, and Late and G*y tickets for Road Rage: Los Angeles; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I nearly blow myself up, Busby's uses the f-slur, why Russia hates us, Sean walks in on me in the bathroom, Karl calls in about bestiality, differently-abled models, I use the wrong name at a party, Ryan Long calls in, a guy who makes his own liquor, Sean-feld, Warren Buffet, how many drugs are in their system, and King Richard makes a prank call; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Road Rage: Los Angeles 2 venue cancels on account of "hate", finger whistlers, cam wh*res throw learn to read because of computer competition, a new challengers tries to reboot TBPITU, oddguy calls in about a suicide, how not to get burned by she's got a boyfriend, Joaquin Phoenix and his terrible Oscar speech, reclining plane seats, women on small penises, dead pets in VR, the ACLU vs. women, and Quantitative Easing; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

How to buy drugs responsibly, somewhat activewear and the problems with leisure pants, Negative XP Calls in and talks about Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, the size of the average American woman--AKA, banging a Blastoise, obsessing over a Pixar character, Ryan tries to reboot The Biggest Problem in the Universe, politeness comedians, the clicking sound on your turn signal, how to be bald, and Road Rage: Los Angeles 2 tickets are on sale; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Raining cats and dogs in China, JF Gariepy gives a virology lesson, Kimball gets banned from college radio, unstoppable eye wiggling, Hitler: A Cinderella Story, dodging a bullet, women and their 120-hour work weeks, being called "Sir", escaping a black hole, prostitution and hamburgers, and the most effective form of birth control; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A virgin wins the lost 6th episode, putting lids on, Corona virus jokes, surviving your mid-20s life crisis, the Encyclopedia Dramatica admin gets arrested, how to rifle the barrel of a gun in your garage, Kiwi Chris' Poetry Korner, the imperial vs. metric vs. biblical systems, touch screens, Tom Leykis blocks me, trying to get out of work, and The Dick Show makes one million dollars; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Dodgers get cheated about of two World Series, women don't put lids on, Ethan Ralph gets robbed at fake gun point, Dame Pesos' documentary on Cenk Uyger, stealing valor, my call in to The Young Turks, fat women in little track suits, a regular guy competes in the Special Olympics, Bernie Sanders will be robbed, and Hazencruz and Miss Phase quit the show; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Justin Whang is in studio, the infamous "C*m Jar", Crippled Jesus Gets Laid, Trump gets away with it, finding Iran on a map, aid for Australia, Maddox demonstrates how not mad he is, mooncult ends Biden's presidential run, Kiwi Chris writes a song, parents getting in the way of video games, using your girlfriend as a secretary, porn rage, a ghost HR complaint, black knights, Vox Day, and Mint gets an apology; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Japanese red light district, selling the Middle East boat, women and their super powers, Chris the Kiwi bangs an escort, women in World War 3, dealing with a concern troll, destroying cultural landmarks, politicians as military targets, bias for bias against women in STEM, the cyst burger, alumnx, moving to America, cold toilet seats, The Golden Globe Awards, and Mint Salad steals a car; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Eating fish j*zz, how to have herpes, Peach's skeleton fetish, diversity in Japan, standing in line, the bullet train, cucking a cop, ; all that and more this week on This Dick Show!

Right-wing virtue signaling and Internet Tough Guys, America is getting fatter, kids getting too close to your car, a stats on who understands impeachment, Jason from Dr. Phil Calls in with stories of drugs, kickbacks, and fraud on the Dr. Phil set, cruising Michael's for chicks, Chris the Kiwi tries to date a hooker and/or Jenna Jameson, Jon Breaks Bad News ends an engagement, nine-foot T-Rex penises, Larry weighs in on "Larry-posting", and Sean goes on hiatus; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The great pint glass fiasco, people who pay with cash, a millennial doctor fails to thread the needle just right, Sean makes a horrible confession, kung fu is illegal, the Slamdance rejection letter, Aydin Paladin calls in about a horseshoe theory of stupid, the participants of a Dickhead furry orgy call in, women and their breakup letters, Dame Pesos vs. MyroomRecords, YouTube bans mockery, the r-word, Boomers and their guns, a poly love story, and Destiny is gay; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Inflatable Christmas ornaments, the millennial wealth gap, suicide threats, Chris the Kiwi gets laid and petitions Trump for amnesty and financial aid, DMT vs. God, Fatsmas Caroles gets flagged, fist bumps are the soy high-fives, Sean looks terrible, awful children who wrecked my parents house, I ruined the Mandalorian for everyone, and rebooting The Biggest Problem with Boogie2988; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Buying a bed, getting beaten by a girl, Denise McAllister on "What Men Want to Say About Women (But Can't)", period warnings, more on Destiny's polyamory, thinking is white supremacy, giving money to the homeless, getting someone's kid taken away, things filled all the way to the top, viral loads; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.

Red flag laws, the Cyber Truck, couch cushions sliding off the couch, Mister Metokur banned from Patreon and re-platformed on New Project 2, Wired interviews me about Destiny, Baby Yoda, the language of love, Borat and the media's effect on other people, Nick J. Fuentes calls in to talk about "white nationalism", Flat Holocaust theory, and not beating off; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Celebrities in video games, autistic movie screenings, being done with all my Christmas shopping, Epstein is the Challenger explosion for Zoomers, Sean liked Chaggot, a virgin wins the Virgin Contest, ThinkSpot is released, what to do in the event of a school shooting, CBD cookies, bisexual girls, Nickelodeon pedophiles, criminal nudity, vaping apps, backing into parking spots, feedback theft, how to be a Mexican Joker, and an impeachment of the show; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

My new bank, the poorly officiated and disappointing Logan Paul/KSI fight, slippery dress shoes, sportsmanship, the TPUSA meltdown, Ethan Ralph from The Ralph Retort is in studio, Sean says "we live in a society", a man called "Chaggot" presents his book about autism that has emojis in it and explains how he was arrested for meth and robbing a Gamestop, a Clown World prediction from the past, actual Nazis, how to make the first move on a girl, more on what makes you gay, the Dr. Phil commentary is up, and something called "The JQ"; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The banks shut me down, another warning from Patreon, QR codes, lesbian art shows, how to party during Daylight Savings Time, the limits of what is not gay, FWB contracts, how to have anal, John McAfee calls in about getting arrested, shooting guns, whales, and his new crypto exchange, Veronica LaVery is in-studio, emojis are replaced by pod Ellens, more stories from the front of the Alphabet War, and Shirley from Dr. Phil Calls in to talk about her lawsuit the deleted the tapes--which are now recovered; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Dr. Phil tapes are coming, Maddox pays his debt, Mental Jess plays #SlimeTime, men are barely funnier than women, the brain chemistry excuse, one more year until I'm dead, Vito has a card game, Jon who breaks bad news breaks bad news, Dame Pesos and Erik Wong have an argument, the civil war in Chile is a coincidence, Asterios comes clean on his $600 spite invoice, trans-bike riders vs. gorillas, Instagram filters, and ; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Paying my dad's social security, the Garbage-versary and the Garbages Goblin, men's experiences with men being emotional, over-crowded Halloween haunts, Cripp Daddy calls in to talk disabled Halloween costumes, back problems, avocado terrorism, things the army can fix, Ari gives a boob demonstration that I don't remember the point of and plays the war game, Hampture is under attack, pausing for ten minutes, more on #SlimeTime, and my own personal Asterios spaghetti week; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Maddox freaks out again for Spaghetti Week: Part Deux, children's duvets and the cucks who sleep in them, the Chinese Achilles heel of the invincible and the elite, Randy sends a long text, dating an older woman, Vic Lasagna loses his case, math is racist, "My Wife is Friends with a Pedophile's Wife", Nick Rekieta and his family are violently threatened by "Mad Black Atheist", a multiple felon and mentally challenged former gang member, what to do about a high voice, and a guy who was tricked into eating his own poop calls in to promote his new book; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I get the side-eye for laughing at the wrong parts of Joker, committing to the bit, the Alphabet Wars heat up over trans-women and their penises, eyeball wiggles, letting 17-year-olds vote, The Cotton Ceiling, impeachment, leaving the door unlocked, the in-group preferences of white liberals, cereal bandits, and fellow Dr. Phil alum, Goose Wayne calls in; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Maker spaces ruined, poorly hidden packages, incels vs. The US Army, Maddox brags about stopping an imaginary mass shooter, Joey Salads calls in, how to break up with a girl, peeing over your own head, hazard lights, printed pictures look like garbage, Pedophastry and the scare of global warming, and Dame Pesos brings in a hidden recording of Mundane Matt caught on a hot mic talking about me; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Two days with gigantic balls, an Australian takes a trip down Crenshaw, being blessed, the going rate for Thoughts and Prayers, CBD, nanotech, women, and other scams, Zuby Music: the current British female deadlifting record holder, calls in, the legality of telling people to kill themselves, adventures in blackface, Ari has a post-op friend Sean would hit on, auto-continuing subscriptions, the best threesome position, how to fake being a black albino, the decline of nachos, Italian Americans, and Mundane Matt is not the father; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A furry injects saline into my scrotum live on-air, students fight climate change but lose their vaping privileges, Mrs. Monopoly and other Mrs. boardgames, smoking in high school, sex positivity vs. sex negativity, modesty c*cks, how to have a three-way, Vito's school principal the pedophile, me not influencing a school shooting, science fairs, Stuttering John threatens to sue Karl from "Who Are These Podcasts", Maddox walks into a bar--and then immediately turns around and walks out, truckers passing one another at half a mile an hour, how much Boomers whine and complain about everything, and Sean chickens out of letting a furry inject saline into his scrotum. All that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Autoblow machine, The Liquor Fairy and hitting a wall, the Sean Show, a tyranny of government occupational licensing fees, women and taxes, a prelude to a grand ball, inspiration vs. manipulation, a moon hoax, dating much younger girls, Hurricane Atlanta, giving my dad gas, Walmart stops selling bullets, the Taking Up Space Force, emotional intelligence, and a big stack of stripper ones; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The AI Autoblow machine, a plague of consent ruins Burning Man, racist butterflies, falling asleep while driving, losing all your drugs, windshield stickers, a petition to lay a mother f*cker out, orbiters, another virgin contest winner, Fisher Price cameras for idiots, My Man grinds for gold, and obnoxious unpluggers; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I'm at Burning Man. Awash in a sea of liquor and t*ts listening to the worst Boomer cover band in the world to use this WiFi.

Two hobbits steal 80s Girl's car and I sleep through it, the Yang Gang wants you to live in a trash can, Let's Talk About Suicide, fifty ways to secretly record your lover, Egg Clay Day, doubling down on a d*ck pic debt, how to disciprine, Crippled Jesus' strip club adventure,a Mumkey Jones sex tape review, back pain, racing automatic previews, sports for losers, and everything you know about obesity is wrong; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Epstein kills himself, butts invade America, IRL plot holes, Vito is in studio, white women f*ck dogs, my dad turns me into a bicycler, one in three women use Tindr for free food, millennials have no friends, the $100 Kiwi Chris threat bet, dick pics, why to bring a gun to school and create child pornography, and body acceptance double standards when it comes to the penis; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Losing the last ten pounds, the liquor sponge, the only gun argument you'll ever need, robot racism, The Bagel Boss calls in to talk about his various altercations, more on the moron Perception Gap, food expiry dates are destroying half of our food, Nick Rekieta calls in to talk Vic Lasagna odds, how to dump your girlfriend after she gets cancer, how to out-religious your parents, how to start a cult, and the notorious Eggy White; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Going Bald, Second Hand Drinking, Andy Signore

Debunking the great moon conspiracy, the $15 minimum wage doesn't go far enough, ultra-progs attack knitting, Liu job lynch mobs a Dickhead, the very beautiful Veronica LaVery reads the news and won't make a sex doll, people who are allergic to coasters, people who use subtitles who are not deaf, people who throw cats, people who need to go back to where they came from, people who choke on grapes, unrealistic car seat adjustments, Matt F*ckface asks a girl out on air, and handling disappointment; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I meet Mundane Matt at Vidcon and lose a hotdog eating contest, split trash cans, the war on toilet paper, conferences and the people who go to them, global warming nonsense, Mumkey Jones bails on calling in and costs me $50, running out on your family, the importance of not making people insane, questions with unnecessary answers, Vito: the neckbeard who vaped an e-girl's bathwater, The Chris Cant Cast starring Cantillions and Chris the Kiwi, storming the Federal Reserve, Null and his girlfriend sitting in a tree, D-O-X-X-I-N-G, and I save a Maddox; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Mike Cernovich calls in to talk about getting Jeffrey Epstein arrested, Dame Pesos and Karl from "Who Are These Podcasts" call in to make fun of the final episode of The Best Debate in the Universe, my contingency plans for getting molested by the TSA, getting Alzheimer's, and getting reincarnated, Null calls in to have a white discussion about White Privledge, a thot-ful journalist gets trolled by a Dickhead, a conduit of money, a continuum of food, Nintendo bones me again, and an average day in the life of the ultimate millennial; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.

Maddox kills his podcast, shorts with no pockets, John McAfee calls in to talk privacy coins, laziness, fucking whales, advice for the virgins, and being on the run from the biggest government in the world, a millennial with no hammer calls in to explain life to Sean and I, diminishing returns, how the lost episode was lost, and putting a breathalyzer on my refrigerator; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The state of permanent financial crises, an angry millennial really doesn't want to buy a hammer, gambling with your taxes, more parental kidnappings, the future is broke, returning a wallet, stabbing your mouth, Dame Pesos screws up his sound effects, Null and state-owned fetuses, how to stop people from talking to you while you're going into the bathroom, Road Rage: Las Vegas, and all the Iranian lives I have saved; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A new murderer calls in, how to not be too serious all the time, my reverse graduation speech, who does your abuela know, soph gets her yearbooks trashed, a new and exciting way to protest that doesn't involve burning the flag, afternoon penis cravings, Tifa's nerfed rack, early menopause, Kiwi Christopher is more well-adjusted than Reddit, your job is not your family, The Dad Zone, easy mode for video games, crappy pets, Alex from the Andy Warski gun-altercation is in studio, and a Happy Fathers' Day celebration for single moms and single pupper moms out there; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Super Hot VR and "Don't do it without me", how to propose to your girlfriend, derailment, depression and Boomeritis, a teetotaler water shortage, injuries while working out, The Great Awokening, chicks looking at the phone in their pictures, millennials giving up liquor, how to spot a ho, the Bicycle Boys last ride, and Chris the Kiwi gets catfished again; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Collecting on Maddox's $290, the groceries cold war, #LGBT month, THOTs vs. THUDs, a Greenpeace shakedown, waiting for the Oculus Quest, the sex extortion story, more on moron War Games and true stories from Vietnam from the late 90s, The ballad of Christina Falso, Nick Monroe calls in, passion vs. disciprine, the mental gap of trans athletes, and my video games disability; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A virtual planet of the apes, the WHO invents a video games disease, many new contestants on "Ask Your Mom, Wife, or Girlfriend when the Following Five Wars Happened: The Revolutionary War, The Civil War, World War 1, World War 2, and Vietnam", things only 90s kids will remember: Vietnam, the effects of short avatars on the brain, playing as the chick in video games, the rejection of post foam and construction Amish, premature ejaculators, being a fireman, Chris the Kiwi describes his dream date with Dr. Rachel, and taking all weddings out of children's programming; all that and more on this week's episode of The Dick Show!

A five years in podcasting super spectacular, the whore situation with Road Rage: Vegas, strip club secrets, The Killstream reunion, how the left can meme, Justin Whang, Null from Kiwi Farms, Denzel returns with erotic photography, Doug TenNapel convinces me not to have kids, Larry challenges me to an arm wrestling contest, The Killstream Reunion call in, a Fat Off with lakembra, the Thought Cops, FigBat DiggerNick is a huge nerd, The Time Travel/Abortion Conundrum, Sean is ganged up on, and Apostrophos sends in a glitter bomb; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The scope of the Sex Strike, the identity of Mental Health, Testifying against a murderer who studied the blade, looking fat on Twitch, dating older women, Porsalin calls in about his Sargon documentary, celebrating dad on Mother's Day, compromising on the abortion issue, the worst part about having kids, and sagacious zu steals the Madcast Media subreddit; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Mexican Rockabilly, too much Vavoom for the room at a local burlesque show, a local rapist, how Louis Farrakhan celebrates #HolocaustRemeberanceDay, Karl from "Who Are These Podcasts" reviews Godzilla vs. Podcast Zero, Boogie2988 gets new Chiclet teeth, has lunch with Maddox, and lies about Mumkey Jones, Burger King Depressy Meals, multi-generational, MABTW value signaling, the post-Libertine etiquette of he/him pronouns, cheating on your girlfriend advice from my dad, and some arguments; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

My visa is finally denied, knock-off legos, Mortal Kuckbat 11, a guy pees on a midget, the mirrors in my house are all a forehead too high, the mushroom cosplay cult, the problems with being innocent, Nick Rackets calls in about Vic Lasagna, addictive butt tattoos, Andrew from Eugene Oregon's wife's bikini contest, the cellophane freshness tops on yogurt that women don't throw away, environmental sensibilities, Asterios updates his pronouns, and where not to go during a mass shooting; all that and more this week on The Dick show!

A case for the $500 minimum wage, how companies pushing the possibility of failure onto you, how to fix the student debt crisis, Sean brings me something I asked for from Australia, polyamory advice, the importance of friends, bureaucracy, the American TSA, Sick Liars, women's need to buy and sell things, and an economist says I'm stupid; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A timeline of screwups, bureaucracy, mass shootings, bad assumptions, and how Road Rage: Australia was ruined, hot monkey bars, making the Internet safe for women, vegans, the correlation between selfies and suicide, mutual understandings between hostile negotiating parties, Sean feeds a Wallaby, and the most embarrassing time I've ever thrown up; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A meat overdose, the income tax and the theft of American labor, 50 billion robocalls a month, Tetris Brain, a listener bangs a little person, chicks who say “aw”, drivers who wont just go, breathing through your mouth, Jesus’ mom vs, Bezos’ ex, and more on lesbians; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Advent calendars of failure, corporate April Fools' Day jokes, too short straws, Article 13 passes, Paul McCartney vs. Michael Jackson, house centipedes, a furry reads the news, eyeball soap, the secret lives of married thots, messaging women in mass quantities, more swinging done incorrectly, and the greatest man in the world pub sing along; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A cosmonaut takes me to space, the downside of 128 crayons, playing the 21 questions excuse game, underwear rolling up inside your pants, JP and The Dickheads Podcast vs. Not For Human Consumption, Apostrophos returns to spill glitter and chew bubblegum, Kiwi Chris calls in to give his thoughts on the Christchurch shooting hoax, a suicidal #MeToo in progress, machine learning and other lies machines have taught me, and how to separate a man and his wife; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Windshield wipers that go too fast or too slow, the creator of the Steam game "Rape Day" calls in, mass shootings and the mental illness of "what did you think was going to happen?", my Dr. Phil tapes are held for ransom, 50 retarded ways to leave your lover, a new news babe comes into the studio, getting pat on the stomach, and how to be creepy; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Nighttime birds, the cost of motherhood in the US, troubleshooting dad's pornography license, a government for the unlucky, soph calls in about kid prisons, Digibro is in studio, a guide for dealing with a stinky, a Dick Show Virgin gets rejected by a prostitute, moving across the country for cans, Vic Lasagna, Jamie Marchi learns about contextual racism the hard way, Sean and his slow editing, and the Dr. Phil episodes have been found; all that and more this week on the Dick Show!

Good news/bad news from Asterios, acquiring Maddox's debt, terrible line reads and the Fox cartoon that never sold, dogpiles and dog cuddles, #WomensHistoryMonth, the story of the Trump selfie, life in Iraq, the war on porn in war, The MtG lightning round, Irish Pubs, comforters getting jammed in their comforter sleeves, writing the great American video game, YIIK: A Post-Modern PRG, and Erik Wong falls asleep; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Wet jeans, throwing up coffee, the anti-aging tease, normalizing normalization, the $100 call-in contest, kids at bars, Karl from "Who Are These Podcasts" gets Job Lynch Mobbed by "The Vanished" podcast, super cancer for the offended, The Rommel calls in, and getting a nice home for Hitomi Tanaka; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Hate crimes and hoaxes, kiwis are bad for you, hearing your heartbeat in your ear when you're trying to go to sleep, Roosh V calls in to school virgins, Cernovich takes an interest in the countersuit, my time between two Cliff Clavins, the war against AI in war, buying pillows, the globalist conspiracy of population control that is butt saturation, and Road Rage: Austrlia is booked; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.

Not enough chip clips, bad times at a monster truck rally, I launch my Patreon alternative, Mumkey Jones talks about concern trolls and Alex Jones, Wilt Chamberlain is the first winner of the Virgin Contest, another Dickhead spends $1,000 on his girlfriend for Valentine's Day and how not to do that, a gay relationship query, Asterios is at the Tennessee Dickhead film festival, science kills, a Dickhead gets fired for spicy Tweets, and Saudi Arabia in Silicon Valley; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Male cheerleaders and strongmen, the Patreon alternative, the science of procrastinating, a caller has a Wedding Four-Way before his wedding day, Nazi furries, millennials who don't know the holocaust, victim blaming police, my Imortan Joe milk brigade, and Facebook Gets Deleted; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

"Gay Ops", the real, ultimate power of yes/no questions, the magic of Jesse Lee Peterson, to cheat or not to cheat, Mental Jess violates her restraining order, Mike Gamms: "leftist thug" and Maddox's best friend freaks out over the Vice article, the virgin lie challenge, the MLK of sh*tlords, Null from KiwiFarms gets stalked, and calling places to see if they're open; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Great Knoxville No-Show, hate hats, the guy who made the Bill Maher NPC billboard drops by, Justin Whang calls in, worthless reasoning, the importance of jumping to conclusions, Layc wouldn't date a virgin, defending the TSA, women who owe me an explanation, ghosting, sitting next to the toilet on airplanes, being too loud at a bar, and Chris the Kiwi wants advice on dating his cousin; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The American Psychology Association vs. Men, Bum DNA, Early adopters, MLK the supervillain, Lior Lessor AKA YouTuber Law and The FTC vs. Patreon and PayPal and the entire banking system, Crippled Jesus vs. Digibro's wife, and Ethan Ralph from The Ralph Retort calls in; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Chicken coops, sound baths, being too lazy for drugs, the endless consumption of sustainability, Girl Scout cookies, Nick Monroe and Operation Chokepoint, the start of the Great Virgin Race, Null from Kiwi Farms brings in Jessica Yaniv, the waxing of women's balls, how to apologize, screen time trackers, honey pots, and my dad's bidet stalemate; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The great 2019 virgin race, the lameness of the government shutdown, Buzzed Driving is not Drunk Driving, chewing out waut3rboi, the n-bomb and the great monarchy of America, more on Sargon, my joke horse dies in Red Dead Redemption 2, fake interactivity, the what happened to Maddox's penis game, and the Asterios Muppet; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The funniest voicemail ever played, boob reveal GIFs that take too long, Winner's Drink and the apostrophe that came back from the dead, Patreon, credit cards, and the war on free will, an erotic Xmas poem from a real man, the Army and Israel, when to use steroids, Dr. Matt gives Facebook users medical advice, someone takes me up on my d*ck pic weight loss challenge, a $400 bidet, and my altercation at the bank; all that and more on The Dick Show!

The Thermostat Cold War, appetizers ruin every meal, the cold facts of waistlines, Boomers telling you how much they paid for their house, virtue signaling in domestic violence, the problem with civics and the American voters who are playing Calvinball, a scientist calls in who is creating his undersea future: Hampture, when to use dark humor with women, Special Agent Richard Head analyzes Maddox's creepy email to his ex, the awful, awful Mental Jess video, and an open-ended question about relaunching The Biggest Problem in the Universe; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Deplatforming Jesus, getting tricked into going to church, sobriety enablers, the sin of easy mode, putting hangars in trash bags instead of just leaving them out, trans-ringers in the Olympics, the mental illness of taking sports too seriously, white on white violence, wedding day three-way marketing, bad penis news, an erotic roofie story, Madcucks dates an amazon, Asterios' debt bonds, Super Clash Bros, the tease of the Hammer Brothers Mario suit, and I get Sean a Christmas present; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The rush of getting things done in the last minute, lies in job qualifications, the male charity gap, Mumkey Jones and "The Rise of the Planet of the Incels", calculating the number of drinks I've had, Sean and I discussing the implications of Theseus' ship and sharing an oral sex toy, vandalism on Mars, the average woman's Tinder profile, Special Agent Richard Head calls in, The Dick Show end of year awards, printing errors and Winners Drink, my doxxing, pronouns, and Sean gets a taser; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

"Winners Drink", my new drinking card game is ON SALE NOW, blown eulogies, how Nintendo has screwed us our entire lives, a four-hour blunder over "the map says!", Boomer football vs. Zoomer video games, flavored vapes and screw the children, the curse of the pinkie toe, The THOT Audit and Women: God's Tax on Life, how to give a girl an eating disorder, chicks with guy friends, when to keep your mouth shut, Jurassic Park and a Vore fetishist, a man's first time, Bleh Rodriguez calls in and giggles, Denzel vs. Peach Round 2, Sean's drag queen persona, background checks for guns, and the restraining order transcript between Mental Jess and 80s Girl is on the way; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Civil War Games, Men Crying, hugging your kids with nuclear arms, the "Lethal Weapon" matinee in my pants, mom's crappy home WiFi, Johnny's dad's d*ck pic, Christopher the Kiwi proposes to his inmate girlfriend, Thanksgiving and everything wrong with it, fire sympathies, the ACLU, Red Dead Redemption 2 is turning frogs gay, strangling Mom, "The Fattener", fattening, and ruination fetishes, phimosis, getting Digibro's dad laid, four beers, the passing of Andy Lee AKA Call Of The Deep, and banging your hot cousin; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

DIY saline ball improvement, the fattest woman in the world, P-Control, more broken toilets, the Boomer curse of braces, the amusement tax, feeding as a fetish, an endless loop Mexican ranchero music, cucks in the mass shooting meme, a Facebook meltdown, mosquito season, quinceañera season, update season, Dad's Guide for video games, death to chivalry, sexism and new hamburgers, and other people's piñatas; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

De-platformed from charity, ten counts of stalking, The Wall Street Journal kills kids, sanctions are coming, Save Our Pets stickers, how to get your girlfriend to lose weight, screwing over your coworkers, my anti-charity, hate speech, holocaust denial, and celebrating the one-year anniversary of The Lolsuit; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

My truck gets dinged at Home Depot, Coach is mistaken for The Great Pumpkin, The Fed and how America's wealth was stolen on Christmas, Dr. Nurse calls in and says Maddox is repulsive, an Erotic Story from a real cuck, a porn star spergs out, Stove spergs out, a possible serial killer spergs out, shaving and leaving tracts of hair all over your face, my take on Asterios' settlement offer, and Joe Buck; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The greatest bonus episode in history fall out, the magical experience of being a best man with another man, a guy who got leg lengthening surgery calls in, illegal lotteries and the christian caliphate, Waut3rGate3: Cuck With a Vengeance, cancer kills your bank account, Crippled Jesus crashes a domestic violence seminar, eating three breakfasts while camping, men and women: frenemies with no benefits, literal kid prisons for an accidental suicide victim, Sean's advice for NEETs, and Asterios gets a settlement offer from Maddox; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Self-replicating holiday decorations, Taylor from PKA calls in, "American Circumcision", a documentary on foreskin, high-pressure medical sales, and "Jewish calamari", unpopular uses for tampons, QR codes, Venn diagrams on meth and cryptocurrency, sexist artificial intelligence, McDonald's game pieces, Sargon of Akkad calls in to resurrect Gamer Gate, I want to resurrect NoMa'am, hate mail from a victim, Nick Rekieta loses his temper, and I get subpoenaed; all that and more on this episode of The Dick Show!

A cold bidet, Sean agrees to get the band back together for Road Rage: Nashville, body building, female empowerment, and moms I wouldn't like to f**k, penis knowledge is power and other forms of male dominance, a fat woman chews on a pen at the bank, Owen Benjamin plays piano for men and women and believes in the deep state, I believe all women, the Christmas season begins, Karl from "Who Are These Podcasts?" deconstructs The Best Debate in the Universe, I tell several tell comedy jokes and give Maddox a brilliant idea for his non-existent bonus episodes, Andy Warski calls in about Blaire White and the future of trolling, Dickels are back, fursecution is back, the Trumpkin hat is back, and the back of Sean's love pillow is a crew neck; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Throat sweats from the #Healstream, raising money for children's cancer, the all-knowing time-wizards at the FBI, tone police, why we believe all women, Peach's mustard song, the #Compliance movement, Modern Medusa reads the news, Tanner has his own Devil's Triangle, the hangover that never goes away, a woman in code, Peach says too much again, agreeing to the terms of cervix, and what happened to all the UFOs; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

My obsession with retaining walls, my dad stealing koi, I finally find the mysterious Wage Gap everyone is always complaining about, my violent ranting gets a beautiful woman off on Drunken Peasants, why diversity is a weakness, swing dancing, frozen yogurt for Hitler, the death of Fight Night 2, swing dancing, destroyed suits, Nick Rekieta interviews a pedophile and sends a real Cease and Desist letter to Maddox and Landau, Kaya Orsan from The Official Podcast defends his stalking charge, and an erotic squirting horror story from a real man; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I am mistaken for a woman at bar trivia, half-drinked Diet Cokes in the fridge, Doug TenNapel calls in to talk about Earthworm Jim, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, the Jurassic Park video game, cuckery, lawsuits, gay marriage, and my fan art, Maddox confesses to Maliciously Prosecuting Asterios, "Tito, Tito, Tito", human suicide shields, the Liquor Limbo, Russian toaster cars, losing too much weight, Jamie news, and Facebook News turns one years old; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A 9/11 story to rule them all, fat women at the LA fair spill nachos on me, out of control snoring, forgetting your Leatherman, lost sunglasses and the time I got knocked out by a fish, #ComicsGate, when to ask for a girl's number, THOTs at sea and fisherman wisdom, Mundane Matt calls me a name I won't repeat, a news babe flakes, the big tiddy goth gf who destroyed Elon Musk, and erotic stories of failure and conquest from 9/11; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A terrible thing I did after the PKA drinking show, the Little Platinum Books/Maddox Patreon conspiracy, Cody Wilson calls in to talk about women and guns, my investigation into the Alex Jones trans-porn incident, Kate the Russian news babe, false-flagging Neil Armstrong, 4D-printed guns, "Bad Hombre" the Madcast pedophile, Dr. Nurse defects to our side, UCB front holes, the fake police are called again, and my offer to pay Maddox's rent since he seems to be hard up for cash; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Dick Show in S.A.P., envelope pushing hip hop in the 22nd century, when apologies don't matter, muscle memory rot and how I embarrassed myself at tennis, starting sentences with "so", fake compassion for celebrities and the ruling elite, back to school, a K-cup listener sends in an erotic rage, the Thousand Island Supreme call, "Mumkey Jones Stops a School Shooting", and a mystery jokester leaves a voicemail threatening Maddox's website; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The story of how Maddox lost his RSS feed, more chat leaks, Dame Pesos reads a dramatic re-enactment, Fast Pass, the new Star Tours, and other ways in which Disneyland has been made even more worse, the Great Magnet, the MtG: Grand Pricks tournament, not-so-super glue, women and their garbage-selling parties, one-note jokesters, Hazencruz vs. The Cuck Sockers, The Laughing Loser, shooting turtles, my white father, Taco Locos, and how to spot a fake Mexican; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Coach has a son, giant bars of soap, Space Force and military uniforms, the bro economy, Adam Baldwin blocks me and is an idiot, nurses who can't talk, obvious sports announcers, buried in collectables, doing a barrel roll, Crippled Jesus needs dating advice, sirens in music, Ben from Drunken Peasants calls in, Mundane Matt kills his career, funeral stories, and "Not For Human Consumption" squares off against "The Thought Cops" in the first ever Super Podcast Championship Edition Turbo to see who joins the See You Next Tuesday Podcast Network; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Libertarians, globalists, hate speech against the Illuminati, the will to execute failure, using the airplane slide, people who walk around with neck pillows around their neck, a homeless ranking system, taking selfies at funerals, concern trolling and pretending to care, how the KKK was born, how valuable is your semen, "So You Want to Talk About Race", Uncle Buck and the Cuck Sockers, Mental Jess moves out, Road Rage: Atlanta, the myth of the free market, and the protein powder scoop always getting stuck at the bottom of the jar; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The scourge of squeaky beds, Liquor Wardens, crying over scrambled eggs, Brittany Venti calls in to correct the story of The 4Chad Strangling, TDS Top Gay handles some pork, women saying "interesting", Body Dysmorphia, KevinALandau.com, Asterios' flub of the century, and a memorial rant for a fallen Dickhead; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The local bride catcher, bachelorette parties, drag shows, military parking, the last straws, freedom of speech means freedom from consequences, Chris Chan goes kiss crazy, Layc's high school boyfriend stole money from her, a Trader Joe's death trap, the parallel parking bet, Saudi Arabia's emergency woman driver number, Brittany Venti gets strangled by her ex-boyfriend, Asterios, Swatting, and Maddox calls Mental Jess' parents; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Doing a three quarter-ass job, the Trump balloon, how to pull teeth, filming white people filming black people, racial sensitivity training, the gender outrage porn gap, Cat Girl gets sued, Chris Chan Gets extorted, COBRA, Null, Palestine's lasers on the moon, The Nihilist Devil's Advocate, and Mental Jess considers a call in; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

People getting stuck in holes, snipers for hat snatchers, a real-life PvP solution, racist artificial intelligence, yelling at an Apple Genius, the 20 Million Dollar Mead man calls in, Dame Pesos' news segment, and Clay Bangs a Trans Woman; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Road Rage: Dallas ends in a shooting, Peach calls in about the Mustard Chug-off, I have a solution for the Supreme Court, an erotic story about shoes, uncucked racism, small Tupperware, Madcucks' retirement and the final bonus episode of the Biggest Solution in the Universe, the microphone interlock device by Soyboy Industries, exploding honey mead, more countersuit backtracking, bar stools, fat asses, Pride-vertising, the Forth of July, and Road Rage: Atlanta; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Post Traumatic Ball-Busting Disorder, family vacations, floating prisons, Map Rotators, Spider Savers, I sink a boat, culture is a zoo, praying to God finally works, Landau Breaks up with Maddox, Asterios' Legal Offense Fund, too-long of a foreskin, Lowtax's #MeToo moment, Peach's mustard wager, and Sean can't make it; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

My dad tries to correct the record on the Optimus Prime story, Sh*tty Passenger gets mugged, I have mana problems, packing a fake penis in your pants, #MeToo and the duality of abuse, lactating dads, Antoids falls asleep while waiting to talk, a string of very generic parenting advice, to have kids or not to have kids, movies need a man-hating score, newscasters with racist accents, arguing with a Boomer, my incredible speed, the 3-hour GFY marathon, Larry hits 100 episodes, and a Dickhead from Korea sends in a box of snacks; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Road Rage: Dallas tattoo, Tim Pool calls in to bury the hatchet, I try to stop everyone from going to Greenland, "Dead or Alive", computer jiggle physics, and the War on Sexiness, Madcucks calls in to read from The Worst Interview in the Universe, Antoids brings in the "Airing of the Grievances"--possibly the most embarrassing audio ever recorded, Allan from Not For Human Consumption plays the Asterios throw up audio, TDS goes Hamilton, and all the money your apps are hiding from you that could be yours today; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Landau is putting together a settlement offer AFTER THE DISMISSAL and is upset at his Google results, Mental Jess catches Maddox "trying to cheat" on her and immediately drops dysfunctional dimes on Facebook, I get the Ralph Retort a strike on YouTube, racism and jokes and the death of everything funny, shooting the Lolsuit courtroom transcript, why we have Incels in one simple graph, Snapchat filters for men, the The Dick Show Facebook group is shadow banned, stealing bum wine, the good and bad of reputation management, eating mustard with your hands, annoying baby talk, and another ridiculous Biggest Problem: Uncucked edit; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Jerusalem is Disneyland for the somber, Israel likes their flag as much as the US does, the time Mohammed jumped into space, Ramadan and the sweet sound of black women, Sweaty Suits, mildew towels, how to make your girlfriend lose weight, "making it official", Dustin returns, Road Rage: Dallas, gun fever, the lolsuit, countersuits, and Asterios is no longer employed by Webber Shandwick; all that and more on this week's episode of The Dick Show!

Maddox's lawsuit against me is dismissed with prejudice, I am detained by the Abu Dhabi customs police in a libertarian nightmare, hiding Israeli receipts from the secret police, Israeli women, the politeness of supervillains, my new classification of countries above first world countries, toilets in the kitchen, my take on Midwest Maddox getting fleeced by an ego project, a Dickhead courtroom reporter calls in, Landau's manservant, Gorgeous Greenberger, killer lines from court, Judge Ramos the "wildcard", Asterios paywalls a freely available courtroom transcript, and My Man in NYU; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Donating your kid's birthday presents to charity overhead, the importance of a sharable thermometer, why some straight men are obsessed with gay rights, Aydin Paladin on why women love talking in a way that resembles a joke (but isn't) about their gross bodies, Mumkey Jones' book "Diary of a Supreme Gentlemen" is banned, firing your dad, my grey pubes and nude performances, Clay Early rats on a chick who pooped in his bed and gives a shout out to my mom for Mother's Day, and Sean's obvious solution for peace in The Middle East; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Boomer humor and their legacy of spilled popcorn, "The Diary of a Supreme Gentleman" by Mumkey Jones, The Cassandra Bias--AKA why everyone thinks they're smarter than people smarter than them, Asterios gets kicked out of a bar, Madcucks vs Maddox, Thanos the Incel, killing yourself in Greenland, "Cool Cat Stops a School Shooting" and other gigantic letdowns, Tony from Hack the Movies and his rushed beejays, the Intervention of Asterios Kokkinos, incompetent tech judges, the five word challenge, internment camps, and why all my selfies are ugly; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Sean brings in a problem, I miss an opportunity, Asterios doesn't get a lap dance, a ban on running, unfair hangovers, more idiocy from the papacy, Denzel vs. Peach, the erosion of the troll, miracles are all around us, Tim Tams, sharking, a legal bill measuring contest, my mom calls in, and resisting the inescapable craving to fail; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Happy little protests, Bob Ross can't paint a cabin to save his life, Ben from Drunken Peasants calls in, my own banned words list, experience creep, my only weakness, a premature movement for robot rights, problems with the conveniences of an automatic car, being worth less than nothing, Bill Guy the Science Dude answers your questions, drinking urine, "Sh*t Talker" gets an upgrade, getting bored while jerking off, Pavlov's nut, an annual YouTube Bloodsport tournament, free black coffee at Starbucks, and the Uncucked Episodes of "The Biggest Problem in the Universe"; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Maddox loses his trademark application for sole ownership of "The Biggest Problem in the Universe", bullying, bully hunting, and hunting the bully hunters, Happy Birthday Thieves, the first stop in Asterios' Garage Tour, middle age Jaeger's, everything you ever needed to know about buying a house, four-square disasters, congressional hearings, the hot girl on Izzy Nobre's Instagram, custom Gameboys, The Sucker's Paradise, my new Skinner Box app "S*ve the Whales", Kimball vs. Madcucks, Stephen Burch the Hero calls in, an Erotic 4/20 Story from a Real Man, and Sean's sisters are in studio; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The myth of blue blood, prostitution and Congress' continuing attempt to get in Lady Liberty's pants, what is simple battery, times I have been attacked by women, the LARPing bearded "badasses" of LA, Mumkey Jones the almost English teacher, playing baseball for the worst team in the world, Kevin from The Thought Cops, the time I was attacked by six housewives, a financial aid based cryptocurrency, and 80s Girl is assaulted by a drunken Caitlin Hall at the Seven Grand after an argument about Maddox's Lolsuit; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

My problem with Sateen sheets, the Smurflings were whack, Status Quo bias, the taxes that boil us slowly, Lagavulin says Nick Rekieta drinks their Scotch wrong, Bunty King calls in, the death of humor on the Internet, Digibro and Mumkey Jones' fall out and who is the Maddox, defending the indefensible, I am worse than (virtual) child porn in some circles, interrupting Dad's sexy time, the advent rage calendar, and five million downloads, and my latest legal bill; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Pornhub: The Promised Land of de-platforming, taking protesting teenagers off the streets for their own safety, gearing up for "The Revenge of the Jedi", the Squatty Potty debate, Maddox's attempt at a $2,545 shakedown, how to tell if a chick is ovulating, Captain Jack*ss investigates Dustin's Dickumentary, how many chicks is too many chicks, the Omnibus bill, eating hair, Ron Babcock is "sorry not sorry", and Chutzpah explodes all over the lolsuit with a new motion for sanctions; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Chick Jeopardy, Intersectional Engineering, Brad from Phone Losers gets raided by the FBI, replacing your credit card numbers, making the NRA friendlier, Peach has more issues with the bathroom, MyRoomRecords releases "Too Small of an Album", St. Patrick's Day, midnight miracle vomiting, Squatty-Potties, the mustard bet, an erotic forgery, "My First Sanctions", Maddox's newly filed and massively frivolous hissy-fit, and the show prepares to pass FIVE MILLION DOWNLOADS; all that and more this week on the Dick Show!

An altercation with a cliche on International Women's Day, why no one goes to sporting events, The Dodgers commit Opening Day ticket extortion, Peach sends in her greatest Jass number yet, the effect of weed on the police, Grant Mooney has a new podcast, Nick Rekieta Bible-splains to me, why Rucka will never be on this show, Martin Shkreli makes people happy, more sure-fire pickup lines from America's Wingman, and Maddox admits to impersonating "Heather S" [in an attempt to destroy Asterios' career]; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Dick Show Album charts at #2 in Billboard comedy, Vicodin hoarding nurses, brushing my teeth with new things, youth sports parents, Male Autism, David Hogg is a little POS, FigBat DiggerNick gets kidney stones, UPS postage reuse, Larry's Flag Day, Harmful Opinions talks Twitch ToS violations, uppity waitresses, customer service hostages, the Corporatocracy, and the cuck bounty; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Road Rage: Portland, planting the strip club seed, women hiding your stuff, bathroom fans that are too quiet, playing the poop blues, cops preventing crimes, 80s Guy loses his keys, the Portland Goss Bomb, Jane Walker Black, the future dystopia and the purchasing power of women, The Dick Show IQ Test, double doors, self-censorship, and getting my nipples pulled off; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Dick Show Album is released and hits #1 in ALL CATEGORIES, I have an altercation with someone else's neighbors, The Maddox IQ Test story, catching your pocket on door handles, a new working lolsuit theory, my life-threatening whale T-shirt, Peach tells us how to identify a lesbian, The Winter Cuck Olympics, Madcucks news, school shootings are not news, Sean and I get in several arguments, and Maxwell Kimball shows Maddox's breakup letter to 80s Girl to girls in high school who give their honest opinions; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

People who ignore "The Zipper", the mystery of my broken toilet, Smiley my broken handyman, "My House" TV has turned me into a dog, Nick Rekieta calls in with some Hot Goss about Maddox's maybe two or three time DUI lawyer "Dog Bite" Kevin Landau, Asterios' Cernovich sex tape, a special erotic story for Valentine's Day, Sean learns to ride a bicycle, The Skate Mate, being on The Milo Yiannopoulos show, the feminist caliphate, drunk dogs, and the nature of getting caught; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The bikini chicks from Ivan "Ironman" Stewart's Super Off-Road, Western Feminism intersects with Islamic Fundamentalism, eSports "practice", the "fake because", April O'Neil, the endless blue balls of waiting on a single computer part, forgetting your wallet, Jordan Petersen is Al Bundy with statistics, the time I smuggled weed into Belgium, people who see each other driving when they're driving, nymphs are NSFW, Holy Testicle Tuesday, resistance training like a woman, and history with Kian Magaña; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Ultimate Douchebag Machine, Acting!, Small Time Tyrants, Dexter meets The Gimp, Coach is pregnant, a mob of angry Q's from Google target Nick Rekieta, The 2018 "Be More F-able" Challenge, Smeagol in bed, what Lettuce Jones missed the most in jail, the buying power of Dickels, Negasterios calls in, Stephen Universe is Degenerate: Part 2, Layc's Singled Out, and advice for the guy who couldn't get off; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Yoga pants vs. bustles, NSFW: a pitch for the mutually beneficial segregation of men and women, "content" ruined the Internet, man's endless quest to escape the mob, "Steven Universe" is degenerate, The Women's March, oddguy from Encyclopedia Dramatica calls in with a lolsuit of their own, a school shooting gone wrong, my erotic pallet of familial Jungian archetypes, children singing obscene songs, the One-And-Done Champion, "Look Who You Made Me Sue", the ruination of modern pornography, bras, better studio lighting, "The Rise and Fall of Maddox the Loser", Road Rage: Portland, and Dickels: the first and only comedy podcast ICO; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.

Katt Williams chews out Asterios for his $600 invoice, "The Fountainhead" and making furniture with my dad, a "hehe" laugh track, women and Mario Kart, Justin Rupple does impressions in bed, more information on the "Heather" fiasco, getting vicariously rejected, Adam P'nache: Cajun Attorney, who hates swearing, "You're Welcome (For the Snacks)" by Myroom Records, Webber Shandwick puts me on blast, I don't believe Mr. Fancypants buys his own clothes, and I get roasted by a child; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Weed should be illegal again, Count Dankula calls in with a fuckery update, Denzel gets cramps, Nick Rekieta goes over Asterios' lolsuit defense and defines defaming, Scotland brings the dumbest asshole in the world out of retirement, an erotic story of an attempted ravishment, The Dick Show Album draws near, the world's wiggliest dildo, Road Rage: Portland is confirmed, I fix Dredd in a new Dicktation, car alarms, throwing chicken skins in the garbage, and Sean is not attracted to a cartoon; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

#NotMyShower, Policing Language of Dehumanization, The Waut3rgate Leaks: Part II, unbelievable loading spinners, Maddox's Christmas Lights, 10-round magazines, exact change, manipulative popups, a reimagining of Aeosp's Fables, Don't Walk...Run, "hehe", megalomania, destroying small businesses, and Dickles; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Yawn Police, post-seasonal regret, lies on Tinder, getting to first base with an alien, universal habitat for humanity, how to handle your gentleman's sausage in space, how to have sex in space suits, Antarctica's semen policy, sour grapes, Madcucks' invoice, Asterios' new lolsuit, and ordering oatmeal at a fancy restaurant; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Office Christmas party disasters, Asterios defends his $600 invoice, email auto-responders, the Pope embarrasses himself again, Star Wars is not Star Wars, Net Nuetrality [sic], Cracked calls me the face of "conservative comedy", Jamie's outsourced news segment, Jesus, Lost Legos, many bing bong remixes, $5 oil fights, new Christmas traditions, and the Race War; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Asterios tops the Billboard music charts for the second time this year, VERY FAKE NEWS CNN attacks me with violent alt-left phraseology, Kian likes Malort, my YMCA reboot, Eastern fetishization and the night of ten thousand bing bongs, my unstoppable Magic: The Gathering deck, Asterios' $600 invoice, how to properly follow police instructions, the great Madbux buy out, things I am advised not to say about a marriage, Wikipedia begging, how to wear the TDS Gentleman's Hoodie, the TDS Top Gay calls in with Hot Goss, the meat machine works against you, how to send your neighbors a message, and Izzy's story about sex toy returns; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Christmas lights and looking at Christmas lights, furries vs. cat ladies vs. cat cafes, Coach's $61.00 invoice, Road Rage: Chicago and the minds blown therein, "Thank You" cards, self-identification of hardness, Kimball vs. Peach: the Cuckening, short privilege, many NSFW rants, Braveheart II: The Patriot, my drunk driving self-driving car app, and throwing up in Jujutsu class; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

My legal dream team, not helping someone up when they're down, Madcucks reads his own version of the letter, Carmen Mandiego, flu shots are a scam, falling off a child's bicycle ramp, Larry doesn't wax-off at his TNS Dojo--if you know what I'm talking about, Bitcoin retirement homes, silicone ice trays, Ken White sends out the Popehat signal and despises me, a keen eye for Morlocks branding, I track down the Maddox fan who I believe is responsible for all vulgar abuse directed at Mental Jess, the fate of free speech online rests in the hands of Santa Cuck, unboxing dress shirts, dominant hands, and I steal an entire podcast from Madcast Media, how's that for irony? All that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The LOLSUITs against me build on multiple fronts, I find a smoking gun for the first biggest mistake in the universe, Sean and I attempt to imagine the unimaginable, wearing jeans at the beach with no underwear, having to poop while you're camping, Peach sends in a jass number, the file-a-lawsuit kit, using fancy words to show off, paying half attention, Mister Metokur makes a video about the lolsuit, the 867-5309 joke, losing a frisbee, full-bone hangovers, a young man's first BTFO, stealing people, and I give an impassioned plea for Maddox to give up on entertainment and leave Los Angeles to for his own well-being. How's that for irony? All that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Implicit and explicit misogyny, I am wrong several times, dopamine and talking about doing things but not doing them, I grade Louis CK's sexual harassment apology, getting negged about the show, antics at a smash room, Diego saves Chicago, Peach gets erased from a Maddox video, Adam Panache calls in with a Cajun meme game, a caller who went to an SJW church, Peach has a problem with me, The Dick Show Album nears completion, how Tinder and pre-emptive opting out has ruined the world, National Novel Writing Month, Layc's laugh track, an erotic story in a retirement home, and Sean fights with his brother; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Ballad of LA Phil, Cab Calloway's corpse and the Chicago scat man championships, John Stamos is a terrible singer, Cupboards are a scam, Boneitis draws my fursona, the Great Pyramid according to Bill Guy, how to flip eggs over easy, Kevin Spacey puts a stop to a pretend female president, Madame Nash calls in with a meme-based game--and then calls back again to complain about it, some facts about Cuck Norris, Jamie and Layc sit next to each other, a very bitter loss against the Houston Astros, annoying girls who have alcoholism, noisy windshield wipers, and Sean gets a T-shirt; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Banned from Twitter, shoulder nipples on leather jackets, corporate birthday wishes, Randy's too-hard high-fives, Coach builds a step, internalizing authority, Adam Nash calls in, how to eat a cinderblock, modern infomercials, my new cereal, a DickHead in the publishing industry, Blaire Witch urinal positions, and Bitcoins; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

"F*ck Whales" bombs, the economics of publishing, #MeToo Musical Chairs, a sure-fire fix for power-tripping policemen, Crocodile Dundude hunts the Australian Internet Outback for book sales, Madcucks returns for Road Rage: Chicago, shutting down crosswalks for children, several songs about cucks, cutesy error messages, the Lena Dunham meme hero, the trans Playboy issue, blurring lines, misremembering the A-Team, and I'm writing a new book; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Road Rage: Los Angeles, the Boy Scouts' new crappy merit badges, upgraded security measures, the time Sean and I triggered an overly protective father, promise rings, Bill Guy the Science Dude takes questions, Demolition Man trivia, DIY Sisyphus and the endless Home Depot trip, the purpose of sphincters, building stairs, man-scratching posts, the precariousness of the 19th amendment, fistfights at the show, the offensive line at the show, stage dives at the show, the Biggest Problem Lost Episode giveaway, a very uncomfortable investigation, and fan favorites turning heel; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.

Gun Week, Shark Week, GIF vs. JIF, why everything is "toxic", give me a hobby or give me death, the gratuitous lols of online creeps, Schrödinger's Racist, not taking chick sports reporters seriously enough, a flowchart of crappy gun arguments, the time I got Harvey Weinerstein'ed, Bill Guy the Science Dude is back, the lackluster money shot of a Rick and Morty finale, the Wheel of Fortune National Anthem, Maddox misses a trademark deadline, wedding invitations, a new way to talk to people, and the average man is illegal; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The season of obligations begins, I send Peach to the hospital, being a ghost vs. being a man, a libertarian haunted house, an apology cryptocurrency, front-of-the-line passes, Japanese suicide phones, men holding hands under any circumstance, the Sean hentai challenge, my Rick and Morty prediction, Lowtax gets banned from Twitter, Sean's secret Instagram account, a shocking revelation by Peach that upstages my erotic story, smart soda machines, anti-robites and the curse of the blue collar opiate addiction, and Captain Jackass with Hooker News from Facebook; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

"What have you been up to?", soft water, the National Anthem and the un-skippable cut scene, defending a woman's honor, Mr. Fancypants does a bad job pitching his novel, Denzel songs, Asterios vs. Madcucks, the Dick Show calendar, life in low-definition, High School Musicals, Facebook News, Christian Ronaldo fighting muggers, Lacy's non-existent ideal man, and the crisis of leverage; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The scourge of phony lollers, real life cupcake wars, sex vs. a hangover, picky garbage men, DateDickShowLawyer@gmail.com gets a hit, the slow death, the kid with better stuff than you, Sam Hyde's War on Pornography, several musical tributes to Sean's D, condensation and condescension, organic comedy supplements, Choose Your Own Adventure books, Goss Squad interviews Asterios Kokkinos, Asterios' School of Satire, Denzel makes a girl cry, and Sean doesn't get Family Guy pornography; all that and more this week on the Dick Show!

Modern church and the devil of incompetence, the volume box on your iPhone, Sean's Dingus Fantasy Football Team, people who throw beachballs over the side at baseball games, putting an end to that Ed Sheeran song, girls who are worried about looking "too buff", drunk time traveling, gay detecting computers in the Middle East, Madcucks-gestions on how to interview, auto-playing news videos, customer service at Pornhub, Matt Miller Ink, and the live show tattoo; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Sean's performance review/birthday, ROAD RAGE: LOS ANGELES, fire alarms make me wish I was burning to death, Rocketman and asteroid mining, Steve Hofstetter, comedian pilots, airport bean bags, I don't know what is a parsec, Asterios' alt-right business ideas, Hazencruz's fat girls on Tinder song, package thieves and Jokey Smurf, The Indiana Jones Leather Man BAG network, Trump Sci-Fi, an acceptable reason to abandon your family, pee arguments, the tipping point of a hangover, taking a plane crash to he face, and problems with The Red Cross; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Hurricane Hindsight and the party of the century, Back to School and the orgy of the matriarchy, using the F-bomb on TV, Mr. Fancypants in studio, the Super Nintendo f'ed in the a machine, the Black Experience, Gab's ICO and Andrew Torba calls in, seppuku for IT blunders, sacrificing virgins, PSA for moms: the triple parentheses, the secret of the meme factory, a monster truck rally, terrible wedding gifts, the fake boob blathering drunk stare, an erotic story resolution, The LA Live Show, the causes of the Civil War, and a completely new way to pee incorrectly; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A really bad mood, a plethora of positive platitudes, throat bubbles, the stupid eclipse, UTIs or UT-lies, the Confederacy, a parody song from Hazencruz, a flatulent erotic story, virtual book burning, theme park revisionism and the eternal present, Nazis and chicks looking for free dinners, Mayweather v. McGregor, me v. The Mystery Box, the time I tried to make a movie with Edward James Olmos, the masterpeen, Mexican vocabulary, the LA show, a voicemail threatens to destroy me, and a doctoral thesis in armchair psychology when a girl wants to look at your phone; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The worst thing politicians do, a call from a fake policeman, Nazis and tiki torches, Asterios' birthday cuck cake,The Dukes of Hazzard, Aydin Paladin vs. Asterios, boobs on a battleship, trans in the military, America's imaginary stupid baby, the pressure cooker, the world's dumbest fans, another leak, racist carbon credits, and heroes; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Rage math, fat mannequins, my man moves to Abu Dhabi, fit models for your fly, getting stranded, the world's most fun car, surprise parties, Target vs. CVS, an existential crisis over a cute waitress, a weight loss tip you've never heard before, making out with beer, Google's War on Engineers, and the show gets a producer; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Colored pens, not noticing the waiter bringing your food, an update on Count Dankula, Mister Metokur calls in, 20 questions on checkout, brand new car door dings, AM I BEING DETAINED, Larry's poop chip, dating with HSV2, a studio-only towel, an animatronic pile of failure, punchable voices, the Manifest Observable Behavior rule or M.O.B. rule for short, diaper furries and degeneracy, escape rooms, losing a thumb, and girls not understanding deep philosophical ish; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Count Dankula: The Nazi Pug Guy, big-leaguing at the symphony, praying for bluetooth, Aspartame Alarmists, The Argument Tamagotchi, the worst part about prison, a Comic-Con prank, child free and happier than can be conceived by mortals, the press, Asterios' band, my simple plan to stop the next Hitler, a lost box of guns, Jamie Lynn talks about spanking, farting on airplanes, brainwashing, a gerry-rigged air conditioner, why Comic-con is a gigantic waste of money, booth-based ToS violations, sensible chuckle-fests, dealing with blackout guilt, and a disagreement with Sean; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Souvenir cups, free water, Defensive Architecture, head banging while banging, Lowtax's new podcast: Murder the Internet, Denzel does yoga, my spoon collection, WarOfTheFanBoys disavows Cat Girl, how my dad handles stock tips, "Kian Magaña", performance art, Nick Offerman, being hit on the shin by a bike pedal, sister twister guilt, the front of your wiener, more on the Wiener Republic, Lettuce Jones is free, and I am accosted by a zombie DickHead; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Manstagram, interventions, reverse devil horns, escaping Jimmy Fallon at the gas pump, Lacy's Instagram predictions, a condom allergy, the capacity for love, the male pill, car dealerships, tearing off the protective covers on electronics, sounds to make when you climax, Kim Jung Un, the anti-hero for our age, and a very "artistic" erotic story; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Democracy Gap, Cody Wilson: Ghost Gunner, disrupting the military, my mom negotiating, unsatisfactory citizenship, Larry's Poop Chips, The Biggest Problem in the Universe Trademark opposition, hot chick methadone, how to get into college, Poe's Law, business beanies, and Madcucks vs Existence #3; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Sunburns, all-night crossword puzzles, eating things off the ground, the Dalai Lama, non-specificity, the world's oldest millennial, an inexhaustible desire to do things, cast-a-net cat calls, Tim Pool's beanie, kiss-the-ring journalism, The Buffalo Bills, horn-o-phobia, craft beer snobs, trophies, nighttime birds, what Sean doesn't agree on, the Chicken McNuggets eating contest, and Jamie Lynn Hughes reads the news; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

What happened in court, the tyranny of the suggestion box, my theory of aiming, for whom the system works, top billing, who won the Asterios/WarOfTheFanBoys fight, Katherine the cat girl, how debt makes you a child, several chewings out, stepping in water with your socks, hearing the lamentations of their women, the world's greatest hero, and the evil Rod Serling in men; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

What not to wear to court, graduation speeches are the devil, people who walk without purpose, my dad takes questions from Twitter and talks about Longmire, the Asterios vs. WarOfTheFanBoys call that launched a thousand ships, a Patreon warning email, restraining orders for civil harassment, a different audio engineer, Letters from Sean: Part 3, Cuck Hunt, Marble Madness, slow walkers getting hit by cars, the Man in Black and la Flama Blanca, a very, very drunken rant about gun rights, and maybe the worst hangover in the history of the show; all that and much more this week on The Dick Show! 

Fishing for nothing, Sean's uncle the spy, finding places to bang, reality news, the crass anachronism of judgement, the final Tim Changzzzzz pitch, unisex names, an announcement from the Science Justice Warrior, a vacation with children, LEGO men, turn stealing, apology tours, Joel Chaco's beef with me, littering and, more of Tammy's Laugh Therapy, auctioning school, hell is other people, handicap french fries, Maxwell The Silver Hammer's pregnancy scare, and trivia to pull your teeth; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The time I drank too much on a huge podcast, Madcucks goes to an LA art show, a dramatic re-enactment of the Waut3rgate leaks, Maddox the job terrorism, the $15 minimum wage, an apology from McDonald's, three months to live for one DickHead, Juan's questions from Facebook, gay bars, Thomas Jefferson, gadgets that I want to bang, the Goss Squad vs. Asterios Kokkinos, the Street Fighter challenge returns, and Lettuce Jones can't get a straight answer; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A Maui look-a-like contest, a hula dancing festival, a regional liquor contest, Diet Coke Armageddon, proof of Kung Fu Tommy, more questions for Coach, how to make a noose, playing with bear spray, beating my girlfriend on Twitch, DIY home defense, throwing away kids' toys, an erotic story from a real man, the tyranny of fake gasps, Madcucks gives a weak book update, what to do with THE LETTER, the heart rate monitor, the best beer combo, a soft I told you so, and a sudden power outage; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Vietnamese man who taught me how to fight, Sean's wedding story, the redaction of a lifetime, false HR complaints, Twitch addiction, Sean's last fist fight, Asterios' Butterbean training regimen, Uber pools, Reverend Scott, compliance, phone calls with dogs, my man is moving to Abu Dhabi, Don't Legalize It, Van Halen, The Goss Squad, Fool's Liquor Round 2, sharing, crying, and like ten hours of podcasting; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A Day of Interrupting, television addiction, Big Breakfast is killing you, Sean's voice is killing you, Asterios vs. WarOfTheFanBoys, the billboard, The Dick Show sends an autism to Cannes, being on Gavin McInnes, pointless research on gender binaries, cringe-ophobia, airlines and my biggest fantasy, the adventures of Cadyver, Phteven's various side businesses, Dustin's first bit, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the time Tucker Max hit on my girlfriend, whatever happened to Lettuce Jones, Layc is single, and Sean interrupts me while I'm working it; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.

Secondary Audio Programming, the Science Justice Warrior, the failures of high school Spanish, getting fat, how many lies it takes to save the world, a Trump pinata knife altercation, fool's liquor, Dustin's man-on-the-street bit, apostrophe's, women and their purses, Consuelo's Cinco de Mayo podcast, three-act emasculation, taking ten minutes to say goodbye, headrest hunchbacks, the panicked phone calls of a county run-off, the next two Road Rage cities, Sean gets a Star Trek shirt, I get a pen, and Madcucks gets a podcast; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Road Rage: Philly and the people who got kicked out, your brain the drug dealer, how to buy beer, Asterios' Dustin smack-down, an army of Seans, The Leviathan, Ken M and civil discourse on the Internet, dress codes, Sean reacts to the live show, a mod from The_Donald teases us with his Trump sci-fi novel, chicks who love Disneyland, The Matrix reboot, ATM fees, rock climbers and other people I want to punch in the mouth, Ken M gets banned from The_Donald live, someone borrows a lighter from Asterios, the Science Friction podcast, Digibro and his robe and his associates, The Dick Show jazz remix, and Juan the Road Rage Champ; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Joshua Tree, my plan for Philly, selling t-shirts, folding tents, friendly Australians and their drive-by G'days, the true test of camping, "Sean answers", Peach demonstrates how to hug properly, Coach eats some chocolate, bad wedding toasts, my The_Donald AMAA, Coach borrows my parents' truck, Peach "finds" my diary, 80s girl saves someone's life, more laugh tracks, Maddox's book title: the Biggest Rehash in the Universe, and all of Los Angeles loses its internet; all that and more this week on The Dick Show! Read more at dick.show

Preventing late podcasts, Liquor pacing, Madcucks vs Existence #2, Dodger's opening day, Buckley's edible hat, stealing from the rich and giving to myself, Randy's smooth-talking, bad neighbors, why Buckley was banned from the delivery room, Ginger Ale's hand-drawn tattoo, The Five-Life, girl and boy cartoon shows, hot chicks farting on planes, the Middle East is a money pit, Sam Glaze, My Room Records, Laughter Therapy with Sean, the biggest prank in the universe, The Best Book in the Universe, and the most 2.5 million downloads in the universe; all that and more this week on The Dick Show! Episode 45

Download the MP3 Losing count of beers, family reunions, ruining talent shows, Lowtax’s weird audio, the confusion of ubiquitous content, farmers, rental car insurance and other scams, line cutters, the time Sean was a rock star, Asterios’ roommate, April Fools pranks, houses that you build yourself, more on the billboard, more on Philly, more Goss, … Continue reading "Episode 44 – Dick on Talent Shows" The post Episode 44 – Dick on Talent Shows appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The clap, the Dick Show Tattoo, pranks, the mayor of chick town, the Dickbute, the creators of the 8chan list, another nonsensical rant about healthcare, Denzel can’t skate, morons at intersections, “letting you go” and workplace suggesters, an invasion of space aliens, NHS, fraud, Loudmouth Leah, a Road Rage update, a billboard … Continue reading "Episode 43 – Dick on Pranks" The post Episode 43 – Dick on Pranks appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The Billboard Prank, squirrel farts, getting locked out of Twitter, Philly sells out in three hours–SO WE GET A BIGGER VENUE, manspreading at the gym, Larry’s secret petting zoo, cat yoga, party ghosts, time wasters and the time police, hockey, real talk with customer service, the mid-life crisis of fifth graders, Power … Continue reading "Episode 42 – Dick on Timeout" The post Episode 42 – Dick on Timeout appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Madcucks vs. Existence, another #1 hit, Lowtax eats a hamburger, our favorite memes, trademark disputes, there are no jokes on the internet, someone threw away all my Pogs, Sean finally is a rage, Uwe Boll the jerk, I offer a bounty for the He Will Not Divide Us flag, wasting Randy’s time … Continue reading "Episode 41 – Dick on Madcucks" The post Episode 41 – Dick on Madcucks appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 A Day Without a Woman, Flasks: can’t live with em, can’t live without em, people who live in bath houses shouldn’t throw soap, Madcucks defends Madbux, Sean’s favorite Star Trek, a Menards update, Lettuce Jones calls from prison, the official Billboard charts, Project: Episode 108, a dick mold bet, a dick pic … Continue reading "Episode 40 – Dick on Women on Strike" The post Episode 40 – Dick on Women on Strike appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 If the moon landing was a joke, a plan comes together, DIY glow in the dark pee, Seder pranks, period boobs, Lent, “Santa Cuck: Bald Headed Lies” becomes immortal, the science of spite, the organ of shame, hot chicks making goofy faces, the lazy gods among us, Consuelo’s final podcast, beating Adele, … Continue reading "Episode 39 – Dick on Santa Cuck" The post Episode 39 – Dick on Santa Cuck appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Boner mysteries, iPhone Hawks, Bad Psychologists, Harmful Opinions, Cards Against Humanity, making your mom sleep in the car, anime, degeneracy, a new erotic stories bumper, Star Trek shrines, the evolution of the human mind, in defense of Madcucks, in defense of Dustin, in defense of America, The Consuelo Podcast, to Menards or … Continue reading "Episode 38 – Dick on Harmful Opinions" The post Episode 38 – Dick on Harmful Opinions appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The war on white people, Dr. Manhattan’s dong, drunk children, a Shangri-La of hot, available women, a parade of the awkward and a life spent trying not to hurt people, Clegg blames me for everything, violence in bars, stories from the trolling front lines, The Enigma rides again, more pieces of the … Continue reading "Episode 37 – Dick on Skating" The post Episode 37 – Dick on Skating appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 A legacy of cables, the stormtroopers of the anti-fascist league, Consuelo’s podcast, a bonus episode from an alternative dimension, opinions from people who’ve never punched anyone, investing tips from a guy whose car is zip tied together, Layc reads the news, in-studio fertility testing, evidence of crying, the post-episode 77 sit down, … Continue reading "Episode 36 – Dick on Cables" The post Episode 36 – Dick on Cables appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Crying in front of other men, a strip club ghost town, The Delete-o Bantido rides again, Peach Saliva and her extremely inappropriate fan fiction, a DickHead divides Shia LaBeouf, getting your money back, peeing sitting down, liquor gravity, Sean gets legit upset, The Dick Show RPG, a meteor of money, a hot … Continue reading "Episode 35 – Dick on Peach" The post Episode 35 – Dick on Peach appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Mayhem in the suburbs, training manuals I am in, a DickHead goes to Washington, email threats, Liarexia, I bring in a stats, those stupid chips on new credit cards, Liquor Event Horizon, comedian Justin Rupple, Vince Vaughn gives Maddox a pep talk about his dying brand, the many ways women steal your … Continue reading "Episode 34 – Dick on Credit Card Chips" The post Episode 34 – Dick on Credit Card Chips appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Burn school, the kiss of death, the time I ruined my dad’s new car, threesomes with Alexa, Golden Shower arguments, I know I am but what am I, an erotic story two for one, the death of Optimus Prime, 24-hour news cycles, Santa Cuck and the Season of Cucksmas, a Lucie Wilde … Continue reading "Episode 33 – Dick on Shaved Ice" The post Episode 33 – Dick on Shaved Ice appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Patreon ruins what’s left of my personal and professional reputation, my car becomes an underbuggy, I get the worst news of my life, Sean gets a Paraguayan hype man, wauterboi drops his new album, spells his name, and talks about his mom’s birds, The Rage Board has a new champion, saying Excuse … Continue reading "Episode 32 – Dick on Accidental Pornography" The post Episode 32 – Dick on Accidental Pornography appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 I get kicked out of a bar with Rocket Man, Sean watches golf, we plan a World War II re-enactment, Oktoberfest, Asterios makes a staggering bet regarding his ex-wife, Peach Saliva calls in to chew someone out, a bouncer gets his penis touched, Lettuce Jones tells us why he’s going to jail, … Continue reading "Episode 31 – Dick on Dreams" The post Episode 31 – Dick on Dreams appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 How I ruined Christmas, Sean sends more letters from the battlefield, how to get away with anything, highschool, Madcucks loses his temper, exotic presents from the far East, what exactly is the problem with church, a nationwide database of viruses, a sure-fire gambling system that the casinos don’t want you to know … Continue reading "Episode 30 – Dick on Ruining Christmas" The post Episode 30 – Dick on Ruining Christmas appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 My Life Coach ruins my Christmas party, a SECRET SKETCH from Sam Hyde, the Jerk-Off Time Warp, the drive to pee outside, thinking like a hot chick, crossing guards, lady-dentists and why they are out to get you, Tequila, how to ruin a Ted Talk, Charity Regret, eliminating all prisons, The Apple … Continue reading "Episode 29 – Dick on World Peace" The post Episode 29 – Dick on World Peace appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The Eve from Wall-E toilet, Sean is gone, way too much popcorn, Denzel’s non-sequitur trash talking, MadCucks defends his network, the Golden Goose of Goss, F is for Feminism, The War on Drugs vs. Automatic Updates, Lettuce Jones’ big reveal to reveal, Cameron Hermens melts down, and Hollywood Randy busts balls; all … Continue reading "Episode 28 – Dick on The Toilet" The post Episode 28 – Dick on The Toilet appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The Booger Bandit, sweet-talking movers, bedroom starfish, the Country Mouse and the Shitty Mouse, pizza Jesus, Sean and his raise and also many sexual exploits, the time I was ejected from a Flight of the Conchords concert, Maddox and his shitty Gildan T-shirts, more celebrities call in, using technology to stop bed … Continue reading "Episode 27 – Dick on Moving" The post Episode 27 – Dick on Moving appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Blernsday and the 30-hour work week, BCC mistakes and the chamber of shame, Castro’s diaper, dating a Blackula, cowboy dick pics, the shitty Gildan T-shirts that Maddox sells in his store to make an extra buck, Tooth Fairy Truthers, The Rage Lottery: two men enter one man leaves, celebrities call in with … Continue reading "Episode 26 – Dick on Santa" The post Episode 26 – Dick on Santa appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Thumb wars, liquor gravity, a terrifying mob of 20-year-old men, Team Snapchat, a Duck Tales revenge fantasy, the 200-pound hangover, a day in the life, goofy chip flavors, Denzel’s movie, Asterios’ shame, an open letter to your family this Thanksgiving, new t-shirts, a listener boxing match, I get slipped a Mickey, Sean’s … Continue reading "Episode 25 – Dick on One Million Downloads" The post Episode 25 – Dick on One Million Downloads appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 I welcome our new Pepe overlords, peace and understanding in riots, Madcucks pitches his wares and doubles down for 2020, the Rage Board finally gets some rules, getting out of cars slowly, nightmares my face has caused, subscription personalities, how to win at identity politics, the future of Lettuce Jones, “People of … Continue reading "Episode 24 – Dick on Gloating" The post Episode 24 – Dick on Gloating appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Spy vs. Spy with married guys, the results of The Great Debate, Never-ending stories and the storytellers who never-end them, putting Vaseline on your eyes, more dong talk, what to do with a cheating mom, a news babe comes in with some amazing shoes, Asterios rants while I get the door, fight … Continue reading "Episode 23 – Dick on Results" The post Episode 23 – Dick on Results appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 DickTales, the curse of a home pool table, boob scams, a cross-eyed race car driver, ruined shorts, Sean wants to see my cock, cigar advice from Sean’s dad, Asterios lingers, leaked concession speeches, Tom Phillips comes home, Lettuce Jones goes to prison, a debate with the Sneaky Greek, gifts, gifts, gifts, and … Continue reading "Episode 22 – Dick on Voting" The post Episode 22 – Dick on Voting appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The duality of man, a news babe, a listener fist fight, Halloween scams, scary erotic stories, Reddit backlash, adventures in misspelling in advertising, MadCucks’ new book, viral video school, Astorios Kokkitales from Asterios Kokkinos, and who is a Stalin? All this and more this week on The Dick Show! Smoking like a … Continue reading "Episode 21 – Dick on Asterios" The post Episode 21 – Dick on Asterios appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The law, the Bone Zone, my inner monologue, Gorilla Mindset, real magic words, Cuck-mate, sucker-punching, red pills, blue pills, and black pills, the war on men, Carlos Slim, what is a defamation, Sean gets asked his name, Dustin attends a Trump rally, author and free-speech activist Mike Cernovich weighs in on the … Continue reading "Episode 20 – Dick on Cernovich" The post Episode 20 – Dick on Cernovich appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 I bully a bus, 837,000 things wrong with San Fransisco, the biggest Patreon in history, fat Halloween music, MadCucks calls in, a financial analyst finds discrepancies in the Biggest Problem accounting, music to rage too, Elon Musk tries to kill God, making erotic stories great again, the bro code, Trump’s locker room … Continue reading "Episode 19 – Dick on San Francisco" The post Episode 19 – Dick on San Francisco appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 iOS 10, car seat adjustments, Persian racing rim upgrades, accidental heroes, my personal and professional reputation, why the Biggest Problem in the Universe ended, The Job Lynch Mob, Trump and I release our taxes, my faith in the UCB comedy scene is destroyed, Chump Syndrome, free speech; all that and more this … Continue reading "Episode 18 – Dick on Maddox" The post Episode 18 – Dick on Maddox appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 I accidentally share something, Joe Starr talks about winning an Emmy, I get a list of demands Black Lives Matters, Piss Whistlers, we play a round of Drunk, Sober, High with Jordan, David Clegg calls in to call everyone a liar, waut3rboi, my favorite quote, Maddox’s girlfriend doxxes Asterios; all this and … Continue reading "Episode 17 – Dick on Clegg" The post Episode 17 – Dick on Clegg appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Sean’s rates, the moment that changed my life forever, Pepe the frog, smelled-a-fart racism, peeing with your pants around your ankles, listening to your dick, AA is a suicide cult, “I’m safe”, how many downloads, Hot Goss and why I am the Joan Rivers of podcasting, things Sean has lost, a wrong … Continue reading "Episode 16 – Dick on School" The post Episode 16 – Dick on School appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The alchemy of a bender, Hillary Clinton halts and catches fire, the black vote, my life coach’s secret Twitter account, Bill Cosby’s Democracy in America, I learn what is an AA, Denzel’s dream body, my workout routine, my reaction to Bill Burr’s reaction to me and the ensuing inception, the media; all … Continue reading "Episode 15 – Dick on Bill Burr" The post Episode 15 – Dick on Bill Burr appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 My man gets a fake marriage and then does too many drugs, I discover the world’s greatest pick-up line, a bike I stole gets stolen, we have several altercations with the angsty powers that be at Burning Man, Camp Furry, casual references to literary classics, the Trumpyx, and cucumbers are the devil’s … Continue reading "Episode 14 – Dick on Drugs" The post Episode 14 – Dick on Drugs appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 I have a piss fiasco and try to push the borders of mansplaining, Sean discusses awkward, Dr. Fakeman calls in with an update on Hillary Clinton’s health, I bring in the actual biggest problem in the universe, my man calls in from the desert, I send a call out to fellow fingernail … Continue reading "Episode 13 – Dick on Fat Rock" The post Episode 13 – Dick on Fat Rock appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Our audio problems are fixed forever, Dick Supporters on Patreon.com have a new enhanced video feed, my Life Coach stops by and doesn’t plug his Twitter, Marc Maron gets triggered, I why Maddox is now giving away the Biggest Problem Bonus Episodes, a New Challenger emerges from reddit, Dustin digs himself out … Continue reading "Episode 12 – Dick on Hunks" The post Episode 12 – Dick on Hunks appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Larry Bleidner attempts to read an Erotic Story, Morlocks and Eloys don’t mix, my beef with Marc Maron reaches a flash point, tech support during the apocalypse, new drops from Tim Changzzzzz, the light and dark side of magic, the culture of idea sharing, the time Sean and I slept together, and … Continue reading "Episode 11 – Dick on Magic" The post Episode 11 – Dick on Magic appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The Cuck Olympics, fans send snacks, the disgusting state of men’s bathrooms, the disgusting-er state of women’s bathrooms, Lifetime gets something right, new lighting equipment, sexual harassment in the workplace and how to get away with it, big boobs and their magical powers, and Sean agrees to read an erotic story; all … Continue reading "Episode 10 – Dick on The Olympics" The post Episode 10 – Dick on The Olympics appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The podcast helps someone become an astronaut, gummy vitamins make me a rage, the DNC turns me into an evil Care Bear, Denzel has an alcohol opportunity, Tylre Perri’s Black Out, and Dustin gets into reddit drama. All this and more on this episode of The Dick Show! If you’re looking for … Continue reading "Episode 9 – Dick on the DNC" The post Episode 9 – Dick on the DNC appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 This week, Sean rakes in the compliments because of his stupid handsome face, I talk America’s newest past-time, America’s oldest past-time, how to win at Pokeman Go, Robbin (female) Higgins stops by to tell us what makes her a rage, Robin (male) sends in an Erotic Stories From Real Men, Dustin Siniawa’s … Continue reading "Episode 8 – Dick on Sean" The post Episode 8 – Dick on Sean appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download MP3 Belt-o-phobes, Pokeman Go, guns, Hot Goss on Tim Changzzzzz, The Rage Lottery, more trans issues, a caller asks how to meet girls in a world dominated by the Beautiful Ones, and Sean’s audio equipment fails completely and needs to be replaced. Thank Trump for all my Dick Supporters on Patreon; all this week … Continue reading "Episode 7 – Dick on Guns" The post Episode 7 – Dick on Guns appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download MP3 For Immediate Release, if you love Black Iron Man Woman, Marvel has a new slew of inclusive superhero reboots coming this summer. You’ll never guess who is autistic and who has mutant AIDS, so you’d better just read Marvel’s press release for THE SUMMER OF INCLUSION. Or you can listen to me do … Continue reading "Episode 6 – Dick on Trans" The post Episode 6 – Dick on Trans appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Jesse Williams, who recently gave a speech at the BET Awards about cultural appropriation, is half white and half black. I think it’s his white half that objects to “this invention called whiteness” “extracting our culture…like oil – black gold”. At least that’s what the bandwagoning, virtue-signaling knee-jerks on Twitter lead me … Continue reading "Episode 5 – Dick on Sex Robots" The post Episode 5 – Dick on Sex Robots appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download MP3 You can’t spell implying without lying. Erstwhile on Dick, I address a number of beefs and speculations floating around the internet in the only way I know how: by encouraging more! If you’d like to throw some gas on the fire, send your theories on why the Biggest Problem in the Universe ended … Continue reading "Episode 4 – Dick on Wrestling" The post Episode 4 – Dick on Wrestling appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download Episode Get out your tea set and your white gloves and get ready for some Hot Goss. I start the episode with a moment of silence for the deletion of the Biggest Problem in the Universe website. A deletion that sent a great disturbance through the force–not the force of goodness and light, but … Continue reading "Episode 3 – Dick on Movies" The post Episode 3 – Dick on Movies appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download this Episode Islam is a religion of peace and a political ideology of subjugation, conquest, and death. I don’t know what’s so difficult for people to understand about that. I try to untangle the knot in this HIGH ENERGY episode the only way I know how, by shouting. For all my Big Ballers on … Continue reading "Episode 2 – Dick on Fathers Day" The post Episode 2 – Dick on Fathers Day appeared first on The Dick Show.