Kenneth Ginsburg, author of Lighthouse Parenting, explains how parents can build lasting bonds with teens by balancing structure, trust, and unconditional love, and shares practical communication strategies.Full Show NotesWe often hear that teens thrive best when they feel deeply understood, loved without judgment, and gently guided rather than controlled. But this balance is hard to strike—especially as teens push away, test boundaries, and become more independent. Too much freedom feels unsafe, yet too much vigilance breeds rebellion. How can we stay close, set boundaries, and respect teens' autonomy, all at the same time?The secret might lie in what Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg calls “lighthouse parenting". Instead of hovering anxiously like a helicopter, micromanaging like a lawnmower, or retreating entirely, a lighthouse parent provides steady guidance from the shoreline. They trust teens to navigate life's waves yet remain watchful, reliable, and ready to help when needed. Done right, this blend of love, boundaries, and respect leads to children who flourish not just during adolescence, but also maintain a strong, loving connection with parents throughout adulthood.Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg is a leading pediatrician, adolescent health specialist, and author of numerous influential books, including his latest, Lighthouse Parenting: Raising Your Child with Loving Guidance for a Lifelong Bond. Through decades of research and practical experience working with adolescents and families, Ken has identified simple yet powerful ways parents can connect with teens while also helping them cultivate strength, compassion, and resilience.In this episode, Ken shares the key ingredients of lighthouse parenting and how to implement them practically, starting today. From smarter ways to praise and discipline, to addressing judgment and communicating more calmly, you’ll learn actionable insights you can put into practice immediately.The Lighthouse Approach to ParentingWe start our conversation by unpacking what lighthouse parenting actually means—and why it works. Ken explains that decades of research identify balanced parenting as the gold standard: consistent boundaries combined with genuine warmth and flexibility. The challenge has always been how to achieve this balance in real daily interactions.The lighthouse metaphor brings clarity to that balancing act. A lighthouse

Robert Finlay, author of Hey Dad, shares essential strategies on how parents can equip teens with crucial adulting skills, covering money management, networking, handling emergencies, and building independence.Full Show NotesDo your teens sometimes shock you with questions you assumed they already knew the answer to? Maybe they call in the middle of the night wondering how to fill gas in their car or whether they can use the mysterious "green gas." These “Hey Dad” (or "Hey Mom") calls are more than just amusing anecdotes—they highlight a gap we're all trying to fill as parents: how do we ensure our teenagers really understand the requirements of adulting before they leave the nest?Most parents worry whether they have properly prepared their kids for adulthood, for those surprising (and inevitable!) real-world circumstances. But with teens constantly occupied by schoolwork, sports, friends, and the digital world, how can we efficiently—and effectively—pass along the essential skills needed to confidently step into adulthood?Our guest this week, Rob Finlay, found himself pondering the same question after repeated "Hey Dad" calls from his four kids. Inspired by these moments—and a particularly memorable call from his daughter asking about gas options—Rob set out to gather the necessary knowledge teens needed. After collecting advice and insight from over 30 experts ranging from finance executives to medical specialists and seasoned first responders, Rob compiled Hey Dad: Everything You Should Have Learned About Life But Didn’t, a hands-on guide to navigating early adulthood.In our conversation, Rob shares practical tips and hilarious stories to help parents bridge life-skill gaps with their teens. We discuss how to approach money management, prepare kids for career uncertainties, teach networking fundamentals and handle emergencies without panic, and ultimately shift those seemingly trivial late-night phone calls into moments that reflect growth and independence.The Power (and Peril) of Teen MoneyMany parents know the frustration of seeing their teen disregard financial advice, only to later scramble when reality hits. Rob stresses that simply "lecturing" teens about finances rarely sticks—instead, he recommends leveraging conversations about actual real-world consequences. Rob illustrates how introducing basic concepts with compelling scenarios can make money feel

Christine Miles, author of What Is It Costing You Not to Listen?, teaches us how transformational listening can deepen connections with teenagers by hearing what's unsaid, asking the right questions, and creating life-changing conversations.Full Show NotesWe all think of ourselves as pretty good listeners, right? But consider this: 96% of us claim good listening skills, yet only 2% have ever had formal training in how to listen. As parents, teachers, or mentors of teenagers, we spend so much energy worrying about what we say in conversations—we want to give advice, teach life lessons, and help teens make the right decisions. But the truth is, we often completely overlook the real key to meaningful communication: our ability to listen deeply.Most of our listening approaches barely scratch the surface and simply skim the basic facts of a situation. However, teens rarely communicate straight to the heart of what’s truly bothering them. A surface complaint or confrontation can disguise deeper emotional struggles. How can we move beyond mundane conversation and create more meaningful connections with the young people in our lives?Our guest Christine Miles, author of What Is It Costing You Not to Listen?, is a renowned listening expert and speaker, who has spent her life empowering people to tap into what she calls “transformational listening.” Christine’s groundbreaking work has led her to teach listening workshops nationwide, helping families, educators, and corporate teams unlock deeper understanding, resolve problems, and build authentic connections through the power of listening better.In this thoughtful and eye-opening episode, Christine shares powerful insights from her personal story and her professional expertise to demonstrate exactly why listening is so crucial, and how developing listening skills will profoundly affect all aspects of our relationships with teens.Why Teens Need Transformational ListeningChristine introduces the idea of transformational listening, which goes beyond empathy and allows us to truly hear not only the words teens speak but also their underlying and often unspoken feelings. Transformational listening helps us understand each teenager's unique experience. Christine explains how listening provides teens a safe space to truly open up by guiding them to reveal parts of their story they may not even be aware of themselves.One maj

Richard Orbé-Austin, author of Your Child's Greatness, discusses imposter syndrome, perfectionism, boundaries, and how parents can empower teens to build true resilience and self-confidence.Full Show NotesAs parents, we want the best for our teenagers. We hope they'll be successful academically, thrive socially, and embrace the opportunities ahead. But lurking beneath the surface for many adolescents—and adults—is the pervasive doubt called imposter syndrome: the haunting fear of being revealed as a fraud, not belonging, or never being good enough. Surprisingly common, imposter syndrome can emerge quietly and lead our teens toward patterns of perfectionism, people-pleasing, anxiety, and even deeper stress.But how can parents recognize the signs of imposter feelings in their kids? And more importantly, how do we help teens develop the resilience, confidence, and realistic self-image that protect them against its harmful effects?To unravel these questions, we're joined by Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin, psychologist and co-author of Your Child's Greatness. An expert on imposter syndrome, Richard understands how these subtle feelings of doubt can sometimes quietly shape a person's identity, often beginning at a young age. He provides practical, down-to-earth strategies parents can use to nurture healthier mindsets in teens, helping them genuinely own their strengths while managing the anxieties involved in growth and change.Understanding Teen Imposter SyndromeRichard first helps us understand exactly what imposter syndrome means. Though not an official mental health disorder, "Imposter Syndrome" describes the chronic feeling that your success is undeserved or accidental, despite evidence to the contrary. As Richard explains, it often surfaces in perfectionist individuals who strive for an elusive, unrealistically perfect "ideal self" and become critical of their actual self. It's common among high-achievers, causing them to attribute their success to luck or external factors instead of their own abilities.In our discussion, he describes three common roles teens pick up early on—the "smart one," the "hardworking one," and the "survivor"—and how over-identifying with any one role can contribute to imposter feelings. He helps parents recognize subtle symptoms of these thoughts, like negative labeling, comparing themselves unfairly to others, and anxious attempts to predict fut

Ethan Kross, author of Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You, explains how teens and parents can become adept at emotional regulation, manage upsetting feelings effectively, and develop healthier responses to life's challenges.Full Show NotesEmotional regulation—the ability to manage and shift our feelings—has huge implications for everyone, especially teenagers. It's a life skill that might just make the difference between thriving or struggling in adulthood. Teens understandably grapple with heightened emotions and can sometimes feel controlled by them rather than the other way around. But what if we could teach them how to manage their emotions and build resilience early on?The effects of emotional dysregulation can be major: kids who struggle with this skill are more likely to face substance abuse, school dropout, and even criminal behavior as they grow older. Meanwhile, teens who are skilled at managing their emotional states tend to excel academically, professionally, and have healthier relationships overall. The good news is that emotion regulation is a learnable and teachable skill, with far-reaching positive effects if mastered during adolescence.In this episode, we're joined once again by Ethan Kross, award-winning professor, renowned researcher, and author of the new book Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You. Ethan has dedicated his career to unpacking the mystery of our emotional worlds, blending cutting-edge research with practical, actionable insights. As both a scientist and a parent of a teen himself, Ethan understands deeply how crucial it is to arm our kids (and ourselves!) with simple yet powerful emotional regulation strategies.In our conversation, Ethan shares eye-opening findings, common misconceptions, and accessible, effective tools for parents who want to raise emotionally intelligent and resilient teenagers.Why Emotional Regulation Matters for TeensEmotion impacts every aspect of a teen's daily life—friendships, schoolwork, athletics, and family relationships. Despite its importance, emotional skills are often overlooked, leaving kids unequipped to manage powerful feelings. Ethan reveals eye-opening research, from classic experiments to recent ground-breaking studies, that clearly connect teens' successes and setbacks later in life to how well they can manage their emotional states.Ethan

Mike Matheny, author of The Dad Coach, reveals how parents and coaches can teach character through youth sports, handle competitive pressures, and create a positive athletic environment.Full Show NotesYouth sports can be a minefield for parents and kids alike. With intense competition and mounting pressure to excel, it's easy to lose sight of what truly matters—the development of character traits that will set our teens up for lifelong success. So how do parents, coaches, and mentors ensure their teen athletes reap the full benefits of sports without becoming overwhelmed?This week, Mike Matheny joins us to share clear, impactful wisdom on harnessing youth sports as a tool for shaping teens into better people. Mike is a former MLB catcher, a four-time MLB gold glove winner, and has managed both the St. Louis Cardinals and Kansas City Royals. Mike is also a New York Times bestselling author known for his acclaimed book The Matheny Manifesto and now returns with his latest work, The Dad Coach, a practical guide for parents and coaches of young athletes.In this episode, we're exploring Mike's powerful insights on cultivating character through sports, adopting the right competitive mindset, and creating practices that engage and inspire young athletes. Mike reveals how sports, approached thoughtfully, can significantly improve teens' confidence, resilience, work ethic, and interpersonal skills.Competitive Edges: Building Inner StrengthMike views sports as a rich training ground for building crucial character traits, which he identifies as "Competitive Edges." These include grit, discipline, growth mindset, optimism, selflessness, and composure under pressure. He explains these edges not only help kids become better athletes but prepare them to thrive in academics, careers, and relationships. Mike emphasizes that these traits are controllable factors anyone can develop, regardless of natural talent.We discuss how parents and coaches can intentionally incorporate these Competitive Edges into daily interactions with teens. Mike outlines how to talk with teens about handling setbacks, sustaining focus, and showing up consistently with a positive, selfless attitude. He argues the most transformative sports experiences aren't defined by trophies or titles, but by the internal growth that sustained effort naturally creates.Planning Impactful Youth Practices

Nicole Karlis, author of Your Brain on Altruism, discusses the neuroscience behind altruism, revealing how acts of kindness impact teen brains, mental health, resilience, and lasting happiness.Full Show NotesAs parents, we hope our teenagers grow up to be kind, caring, and community-oriented adults. We encourage them to volunteer, assist neighbors, or participate in community service projects, hoping it'll build character and strengthen empathy. But did you know there's actual science linking altruism to improved well-being, reduced stress, and even better health? What if building compassion wasn't just a nice extra—but a powerful tool for coping with stress, fostering mental health, and developing meaningful relationships?Many teens face abundant pressures: academic expectations, college applications, social anxieties, and now the unprecedented rise of loneliness and technology overload. With these challenges mounting, could altruism offer a unique and surprisingly effective antidote—not just helping teens survive but thrive in today's world?In this week's insightful conversation, we're joined by Nicole Karlis, health and science journalist and author of Your Brain on Altruism: The Power of Connection and Community During Times of Crisis. Nicole spent nearly a decade exploring the science behind altruism, kindness, and community connection. She specializes in translating compelling neuroscience into practical lessons we can apply right at home with our teens.Nicole reveals the neuroscience underpinning the benefits of altruism, describing how selfless actions activate brain regions responsible for stress relief, emotional regulation, and meaningful fulfillment. By cultivating altruistic behaviors, Nicole argues, teens can overcome feelings of isolation and connect meaningfully with their communities—even during a loneliness epidemic.In our conversation, Nicole sheds light on why altruism is so powerful and how parents can harness and revive this instinct in their teens to create their own "culture of caring."The Neuroscience of AltruismIt turns out our brains are wired to benefit from kindness. Nicole outlines research showing that acts of generosity, kindness, and compassion trigger neural pathways linked to reward and decreased stress. Teens who practice altruism report feeling more deeply connected to others and their community, experiencing higher executive fu

Jessica Slice, author of Unfit Parent, shares her profound insights and experiences on disability and parenting, breaking down stereotypes, addressing ableism, and showing what disabled parents can teach us all about resilience, adaptability, and embracing life's challenges.Full Show NotesIn our conversations around parenting, we often have a narrow definition of what abilities and physical capacities are required to be a “good” parent. From movies and advertisements portraying mothers and fathers effortlessly multitasking and holding toddlers on their hip, to parenting talks describing the chaos of carpool lines and daily errands, the portrait of parenting we encounter every day seems to leave out those with disabilities or physical limitations. As a parent, what do you do when your experiences don’t match up with these cultural representations? How can each of us benefit from broadening our understanding of what it truly means to be an effective caregiver?In today’s insightful episode, we're joined by writer and disability advocate Jessica Slice, author of Unfit Parent: A Disabled Mother Challenges an Inaccessible World. Jessica became disabled at age 28 and has experienced firsthand how our cultural perceptions about motherhood often exclude people with disabilities. Through her writing and advocacy, she passionately argues that disabled parents have powerful insights to offer all parents, and she exposes the ableism and biases in parenting culture. Jessica’s eye-opening perspectives invite us to consider how embracing a broader definition of parenting can benefit everyone.What Disabled Parents Can Teach All of UsEarly in our conversation, Jessica describes how attending a typical parenting talk left her feeling like an imposter because none of the descriptions matched her own parenting reality. In writing openly about her experience, Jessica discovered a community of disabled parents who shared similar feelings. But what began as a revealing essay soon transformed into a broader mission: to show how disabled parents actually contribute unique abilities and insights to parenting.Jessica points out how disabled people grow adept at solving practical day-to-day problems surrounding movement, food, rest, and more. Such problem-solving skills translate directly into caring for a newborn, making disabled parents often surprisingly adept at navigating early parenthood. Mor

Sara and Morton Sherman, authors of Resonant Minds, reveal how parents can use music intentionally to build stronger connections with teens, navigate emotions, and support adolescent development.Full Show NotesIn a fast-paced world flooded by digital distractions, it's sometimes difficult for parents to understand how to connect more closely with their teens. We might even wonder: Is music helping or distracting teens? They have their headphones on non-stop, but what music are they listening to, and why does it mean so much to them? Music is consistently present throughout teen culture, providing emotional refuge, identity reinforcement, and sometimes, a channel to express thoughts that might otherwise remain unspoken. But as parents, educators, and caregivers, how can we intentionally use music as a communication tool to foster emotional growth, mindfulness, and stronger family connections?In this week's conversation, we explore how music isn't just entertainment or background noise—it's a powerful gateway to teen emotions and a key to deeper family relationships when used mindfully and intentionally.Our guests this week, Sara Leila Sherman and Morton Sherman, authors of the new book Resonant Minds: The Transformative Power of Music, One Note at a Time, help parents explore ways to better understand and support their teens through music. Sara is a classical musician, educator, and founder of the children's concert series Mozart for Munchkins and the Little Mozart Foundation, while Morton is an esteemed educational leader renowned for visionary contributions in teaching and leadership. They're here to offer insight into the rich possibilities music provides for building emotional awareness, mindfulness, and family connections.How Music Shapes Emotions and MindsetSara and Mort explain that teenagers spend up to four hours a day on average listening to music—but not always intentionally or thoughtfully. Music, they explain, is always working subtly to influence our emotions. Intentionally choosing music can help teens shift their emotional state, whether they want to reduce stress, lift their mood, or even find calm and concentration. Sara reveals how a simple piece of music can help teens reach a calmer mindset or even create safe emotional exploration.Sara shares practical tips on how parents can help teens become more purposeful listeners. Asking teens to select

William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, authors of The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-driven Child, share how parents can build connection, support autonomy, set healthy expectations, and create more joy and calm in family life.Full Show NotesAs our children grow into teenagers, parents often find themselves uncertain about how deeply to intervene. We know our kids need our involvement and guidance, but teenagers also crave autonomy and independence. Teens often appear distant and difficult, getting frustrated when we try to help solve their problems, yet feeling hurt when we don't show enough interest. Add stress about school, extracurriculars, and the future into the mix, and family life can quickly spiral into frequent conflict, anxiety, and disconnection.How can we give our teenagers the steady presence they need without micromanaging or inadvertently amplifying their stress? What does being a relaxed, positive, and supportive parent actually look like in daily practice? How can we inspire our teens to be driven, motivated, and self-directed without resorting to threats, bribes, or constant reminders?Today's guests, William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, offer compassionate, practical solutions from their new book, The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-driven Child. Bill is a clinical neuropsychologist, and Ned is the founder of Prep Matters. After two bestselling books on parenting and educational motivation, their latest interactive workbook provides powerful exercises and reflective prompts to help parents foster resilience, autonomy, and joy in their families. Together, Bill and Ned show how parents can become calm, confident leaders who empower teens rather than push or control them.Building a Calm and Confident Parental PresenceBill and Ned share why being a calm, non-anxious presence is one of the most powerful ways to support our teens. Rather than reflecting back our children's stress or adding to it with our own worries, they recommend setting the goal of becoming less emotionally reactive. Bill and Ned offer practical strategies, including meditation and cognitive practices, to train ourselves out of fear-based interactions. This calm approach reinforces teens' belief that they can handle life's ups and downs without parents needing to intervene constantly.Healthy Expectations vs. Anxiety-Driven PressureHow high should parents

Doug Bolton, author of Untethered, reveals why teenage misbehavior is a skill issue rather than a motivation problem—and explains how adults can teach teens emotional regulation, stress management, and accountability.Full Show NotesWe've all been there; after yet another homework battle, missed curfew, or bitter argument, we throw our hands up in frustration and wonder why can't our teen just behave? Typically we've been taught to see teens' "problem behaviors"—breaking rules, fighting us on homework, zoning out—is all a motivation issue. We've internalized the idea that teens “act out” because they're lazy, they don’t care enough, or they're defiantly choosing not to listen. As a result, parents often respond by escalating punishments, removing privileges, or lecturing until everyone is angry or shut down.But what if we've got this all wrong? What if we’re mislabeling stress behaviors and skill deficits as "bad motivation"? Shifting from a motivation-based view to seeing teen misbehavior as a lack of emotional regulation skills can be truly transformational for families. It turns out that when teens aren't meeting expectations, they're usually struggling because they haven’t developed crucial skills yet, like moving easily from something they want to do (TikTok, gaming) towards something they don't (homework, chores). Instead of punishing teens, parents can address the root cause: helping them build essential, lifelong skills.To guide us in rethinking teen discipline, we're joined by Doug Bolton, psychologist, longtime principal, therapist, and author of Untethered: Creating Connected Families, Schools, and Communities to Raise a Resilient Generation. Doug spent over two decades as principal at Northshore Academy, a school designed specifically for emotionally and behaviorally struggling teens. He's observed firsthand how approaching misbehavior as a stress and skills problem, rather than a motivation issue, transforms kid's lives and relationships.In this episode, Doug explains why punishments and incentives typically fail with teenagers—and how we can shift to skill-building and connection instead. We'll learn how teens' brains work differently around stress and decision-making (hint: they're not fully mature until age 30!) and why we can't expect instant adult-level reasoning from them constantly. Doug gives us step-by-step guidance on how to respond effectively when teens are stressed, emotional,

Elizabeth Husserl, author of The Power of Enough, joins us to discuss how parents can teach their teens a healthy relationship with money, how to use financial decisions to meet deeper needs, and how families can start meaningful conversations around money.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesMoney can feel like a taboo topic—even within our own households. While we'd love our teens to grow up feeling confident and secure financially, it can seem challenging to teach them how to approach money effectively—let alone joyfully. Many young people enter adulthood without a clear sense of how to balance their financial resources with their deeper needs and desires. How can parents foster a healthier, happier, and more meaningful relationship between their teenagers and money?In this episode, we're diving into how to redefine and transform your family's relationship with money, shifting from scarcity to joy. Joining us on this journey is Elizabeth Husserl, the co-founder of Peak 360 Wealth Management and author of the new book The Power Of Enough: Finding Joy in Your Relationship with Money. Elizabeth combines expertise as a financial advisor with insights gained through her study of transpersonal and somatic psychology, teaching families how to view money and wealth in deeper, more fulfilling ways.In our conversation, Elizabeth explains how to help teens understand that wealth goes far beyond having money in the bank. She argues that a healthy relationship with money is about intentionally and creatively meeting our deeper human needs. Elizabeth shares her strategies and exercises developed from psychology and personal experience, guiding parents in teaching teens to manage financial resources thoughtfully and in alignment with their unique sense of fulfillment.Redefining Wealth & ScarcityElizabeth emphasizes the distinction between money and wealth. While money is simply a tool, wealth relates to our overall state of well-being. She describes how many people carry stories of scarcity handed down from previous generations—traumas, hardships, and struggles—despite those conditions no longer matching their everyday experience.By helping teenagers examine their personal and famil

Caroline Fleck, author of Validation, explains how to make teens feel deeply understood and supported, highlighting powerful validation tools, avoiding common parenting pitfalls, and uncovering practical strategies to improve teen communication and trust.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesWe often hear that parenting teenagers is one of the hardest yet most rewarding experiences. Is your teen withdrawing, shutting down, or resisting connection? Does it feel like no matter what you say, you're met with silence, frustration, or emotion-driven outbursts? If communication in your household feels increasingly difficult, you're not alone—parents everywhere are struggling to maintain open, positive relationships with their teenagers. What we may not realize is that our well-meaning responses often discourage teens from fully sharing their experiences, pushing them to close themselves off at precisely the time we hope they'll open up.That's where validation comes in—not vague praise or mere agreement, but true validation that meets teens where they are and makes them feel genuinely seen and understood. It's a powerful technique drawn from psychotherapy, designed specifically to reach even the most resistant individuals. Learning validation can transform your interactions with your teenager, making your communication not just easier and more frequent, but deeper, warmer, and more meaningful.In today's episode, we're joined by validation expert Dr. Caroline Fleck, author of Validation. Caroline is a practicing therapist and expert in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), the clinical approach that developed these powerful validation techniques to treat the most challenging clients. She shares why validation was such a groundbreaking discovery in psychology—and why every parent can use it to create profound transformations at home.In our engaging conversation, Caroline introduces the dynamic and practical levels of validation, offering a "validation ladder" technique to help parents authentically relate to their teens' experiences. We discuss common pitfalls, explore why certain ways of communicating with younger children become ineffective—or even counterproductive—as they grow into adolescence, and clarify how v

Kathleen deLaski, author of Who Needs College Anymore?, joins us to discuss the evolving necessity of college education in light of new career pathways, rising tuition costs, and the changing job market influenced by technology and skills-based hiring.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full Show NotesIn the rapidly changing landscape of education and employment, parents are left questioning the value of a college degree for their teenagers. With soaring tuition fees and an evolving job market that increasingly values skills and experience over formal education, it's no wonder many are rethinking the traditional path. As artificial intelligence and automation continue to reshape industries, the future of college education becomes even more uncertain.To unpack these transformative trends, we’re joined this week by Kathleen deLaski, the founder and board chair of the Education Design Lab. Kathleen, a senior advisor at Harvard's Project on Workforce and a professor at George Mason University, recently authored Who Needs College Anymore?, offering a fresh perspective on the traditional college track. Through her work and personal experiences, Kathleen shines a light on how parents can navigate and advise their teens in this shifting educational paradigm.The Evolution of 'Higher Education'The script for achieving the American Dream, once dominated by the pursuit of a college degree, is being rewritten. Kathleen shares insights into how more than half of high school graduates venture towards college, yet less than 40% achieve a bachelor's degree. She delves into the inflated expectations for degrees in the job market and highlights the blurring lines between traditional blue- and white-collar roles—changes driven by technological advancements.Beyond the College DegreeKathleen explores the burgeoning pathways that don't involve college, acknowledging the roles apprenticeships and industry certifications can play. She argues for a mindset shift, urging educational institutions to offer hands-on experience outside conventional classroom settings. The traditional college experience might still benefit some, but for others, Kathleen advocates exploring micro-pathways that offer dire

Anne-Laure Le Cunff, author of Tiny Experiments, joins us to discuss how an experimental mindset can offer teens a refreshing, exploratory approach to personal success, allowing them to break free from linear goal setting and conventional expectations.Full Show NotesIn our quest to guide teens toward successful futures, we often urge them to set concrete, linear goals. We believe these goals offer structure and direction—yet this mindset may inadvertently restrict creativity, unique pursuits, and personal growth in our teens. What if, instead of marching along predetermined paths, teens explored a series of small, impactful experiments that revealed their interests and potential?Today, we're exploring a whole new way of setting teens up for success. Anne-Laure Le Cunff, ex-Googler, neuroscience Ph.D. candidate, and author of Tiny Experiments, reveals how embracing an experimental mindset can help teens navigate life with creativity and freedom. Through her work at Ness Labs, Anne-Laure encourages adopting experimentation over goal-setting to discover personal and unique paths.In her book, Anne-Laure proposes that teens be encouraged to test "tiny experiments" in various areas of their lives—whether it's trying a new hobby, exploring a budding interest, or learning a different skill. Instead of focusing on long-term commitments or the fear of making mistakes, these experiments allow for trial, error, and—most importantly—learning. This approach empowers teens to gather experience and data from which they can draw conclusions for the future.Cultivating CuriosityTeens are naturally curious, and Anne-Laure asserts we should nurture this trait. She suggests parents help teens create a "curiosity circle," where they can explore interests in a group setting, driving communal and personal growth. Recalling how adulthood urged us to “figure it all out,” Anne-Laure invites parents to reminisce about their own teenage years and prioritize exploration over immediate resolutions for their children.Energy and Decision MakingManaging energy, not just time, is crucial for effective experimentation. Anne-Laure highlights the importance of tracking one's energy and aligning activities with peak times for productive engagement. Reflecting on energy levels can enhance experiment outcomes—ensuring that teens feel empowered to optimize their personal schedules for b

Paul Sunseri, author of "Gentle Parenting Reimagined," shares strategies for fostering respectful and productive communication with teenagers, focusing on maintaining calm authority and handling defiance with effective behavior change techniques.Full Show NotesParenting teens often feels like a constant negotiation, where requests are met with pushback, homework remains unfinished, and bedtime mysteriously shifts later and later. As a parent, you might find yourself repeating the same requests over and over, only to engage in a frustrating dance of argumentation that doesn’t end until you’re both worn out. The challenge is getting teens to engage respectfully and follow through the first time--all without nagging or raising your voice.Traditional approaches may no longer work as our teens become more independent and begin to test boundaries like never before. However, it’s crucial to establish a balance between gentle connection and firm guidance to effectively communicate and set limits. How can we aspire to keep our cool while managing the everyday defiance?This week's podcast guest, Paul Sunseri, is here to help us find that harmony. Paul is a clinical psychologist, father of four, and author of "Gentle Parenting Reimagined". With over 40 years of experience working with children and adolescents with serious mental health conditions, he has developed Intensive Family Focused Therapy, specializing in behaviorally challenging youth. Paul’s extensive experience informs his book, where he combines behavioral strategies with gentle parenting practices to provide actionable advice for dealing with oppositional and defiant kids.In our conversation, Paul describes how parents often feel outmatched by their teenager's ability to escalate arguments or throw them off course with "red herrings"--distracting statements meant to derail. Paul explains how to spot these diversions and prevent them from sidetracking you, maintaining focus on your original request with calm firmness.Cultivating Effective CommunicationFor parents, mastering a calm and confident “vibe” is crucial. Paul highlights that barking orders often results in more resistance—a counterproductive cycle. Instead, he advocates for maintaining a matter-of-fact tone that sets clear expectations and consequence pathways without generating conflict.This episode also explores transitioning from traditional

Melanie Shankle, author of Here Be Dragons, joins us to share insights from her complex mother-daughter relationship and discuss how parents can break generational cycles, empower their teens, and handle high school drama with grace.Full Show NotesParenting teenagers often means we find ourselves navigating uncharted waters, especially when attempting to break away from the generational cycles of how we were raised. As parents, we aim to avoid the pitfalls our parents may have encountered, ensuring that we foster healthy relationships and nurture authentic communication with our children. But with social media, school pressures, and developmental changes, there are always dragons to slay along the way.This week, we're delving into the struggles and joys of raising teens with Melanie Shankle, author of seven books, including her newest release, Here Be Dragons. Melanie opens up about her history with her own mother and how it influenced her journey of motherhood. Her personal experiences and stories have shaped her perspective and allowed her to break the cycle, raising her daughter with intention and resilience.In the conversation, Melanie and I touch on the complex realities of teenage friendships and the competitive pressures that come with them. Melanie reflects on how witnessing mean girl dynamics in her daughter's high school experience inspired her book and highlighted the importance of being a supportive parent without helicoptering. We explore how these teenage social challenges can sometimes echo the emotional turmoil experienced in their parents' childhoods.The Perils of High School FriendshipsTeenage friendships can be fraught with challenges, especially in a social media-saturated world. While everyone feels they need to be part of the group, Melanie notes how social media adds an unprecedented layer of complexity, allowing for relentless bullying that follows teens beyond the schoolyard. Her daughter Caroline's real-life challenges with peer drama serve as a poignant reminder of the importance of teaching resilience and self-care.Melanie's approach involved empowering her daughter to tackle her social challenges with dignity, encouraging Caroline to take decisive actions, whether by confronting her peers or turning to school authorities when necessary. This empowerment not only helped Caroline stand up for herself but also forged life-long skills s

Blaise Aguirre, author of I Hate Myself, joins us to discuss the pervasive issue of self-hatred among teenagers, explore the role of comparison and perfectionism in self-criticism, and highlight the benefits of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).Full Show NotesFor many parents, watching their teen grapple with self-critical thoughts can be heartbreaking. It's a common refrain to hear kids say, "I'm so stupid," or "I can never do anything right." When these thoughts persist, they can become ingrained, leading to deep-seated self-hatred. Addressing these feelings early can prevent them from becoming a dominant force in a teenager's life. But how can parents help their teens escape this negative mindset and view themselves with compassion and understanding?Understanding and dismantling self-loathing in teens is critical. Today's guest, Dr. Blaise Aguirre, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and author of the new book, I Hate Myself, provides invaluable insight into this pervasive issue. Dr. Aguirre is renowned for his work at McLean Hospital, where he has developed programs for teens with self-destructive behaviors and suicidal tendencies, utilizing Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) to help manage these complex emotions.In the episode, Dr. Aguirre explains that self-hatred is often a deeply internalized perception of oneself, not merely occasional self-criticism. This profound dislike integrates into a teen's core identity, creating a permanent, immutable sense of worthlessness that shadows them constantly. He discusses how identifying self-hatred requires more than just taking a teen's words at face value, particularly when they respond with "I'm fine." Instead, parents and caregivers must look for deeper signs: perfectionism, people-pleasing behavior, and excessive self-criticism.The Role of DBT in Combating Self-HateDr. Aguirre introduces us to the principles of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a method combining Zen mindfulness and behavioral therapy. DBT aims to help teens manage emotions, develop coping skills, and foster a sense of self-worth. This therapeutic approach has been incredibly effective in reducing suicidal behavior, by first accepting where a teen is emotionally and then helping them build skills to navigate through these challenging feelings.In particular, Dr. Aguirre highlights how DBT can dismantle the illusion t

Lisa A. Phillips, author of First Love: Guiding Teens Through Relationships and Heartbreak, joins us to discuss the complexities of teenage love, including the effects on parents, navigating breakups, and the significance of early romantic experiences.Full Show NotesAdolescence is a time of self-discovery, and first forays into love play a crucial role in shaping future relationships. Yet, teenage love can be dismissed as fleeting and inconsequential by adults who overlook its developmental importance. While crushes and early heartbreaks may seem minor, they prepare teens for the complex emotional landscapes they will navigate as adults. Understanding and supporting teens in their romantic ventures is essential, not only for their growth but also to foster open dialogue between parents and their children.This episode features Lisa A. Phillips, writer and professor, who explores these themes in her book, First Love: Guiding Teens Through Relationships and Heartbreak. Lisa's perspective arises from her experience as a mother navigating her daughter's early romantic relationships and her professional background in mental health and relationship writing. Her insights offer valuable guidance for parents striving to connect with their teens during these formative years.In our conversation, Lisa shares how parents' emotions can unexpectedly be stirred by their teens' romantic experiences. Research by psychologist Lawrence Steinberg suggests that parents might revisit unresolved feelings from their own youth, which can impact the way they perceive their teen's experiences. This emotional upheaval underscores the importance of parents addressing their own past to better support their teen's present.The Role of CrushesAn early discussion focuses on the significance of crushes as developmental milestones. These seemingly one-sided infatuations can provide a safe space for teenagers to explore complex emotions. Lisa explains how parents can use this phase as an opportunity to discuss feelings and expectations, helping teens differentiate between fantasy and reality in relationships. By engaging in these discussions, parents can help teens develop a nuanced understanding of mutuality and respect in their romantic lives.Communicating About LoveDespite the challenges, Lisa emphasizes the importance of proactively engaging in conversations about love an

Jenny Anderson and Rebecca Winthrop, authors of The Disengaged Teen, join us to discuss their insights on teenage disengagement and share strategies to foster better learning, emotional well-being, and overall development in teenagers.When it comes to our teens' education, many of us attempt to walk a tightrope, balancing between overly optimistic perceptions and stark realities. As parents, we often perceive our teens as more engaged in learning than they truly are. What we might not realize is that many teenagers experience varying levels of disengagement during their educational journey, which can affect their overall growth and happiness. Understanding these dynamics within our children can drastically change our approach and thereby foster better communication and support.In this episode, we explore the science of teenage disengagement with Jenny Anderson and Rebecca Winthrop, the authors of The Disengaged Teen: Helping Kids Learn Better, Feel Better, and Live Better. Jenny, an award-winning journalist, and Rebecca, a senior fellow at Brookings and professor at Georgetown University, come together to bring attention to the various ways teens engage with school and learning. Through research and extensive interviews, they’ve identified different modes of learning engagement that teens experience: Resistor, Passenger, Achiever, and Explorer modes. Their framework serves as a tool to help us recognize and support our teens based on their unique engagement level. The authors explain how crucial it is to tailor our approach to these modes, especially as teenage learning engagement can directly impact their emotional well-being and future success. Jenny and Rebecca provide insightful observations, such as why boys might be more prone to being in Passenger mode and how fostering agency is key to shifting them into Explorer mode.Understanding the Four ModesJenny and Rebecca delve deep into the characteristics of each mode. They urge parents to consider intentional questions beyond the simple "How was your day?"–questions that encourage teens to express more than routine responses. They also stress the importance of recognizing early signs of disengagement, especially when children are content with coasting and not pushing themselves to explore or challenge what they know.Achiever mode might initially sound ideal, with teens appearing diligent and high-performing, but th