Why I'snt Therapy Working I Am Codependent: I am Getting Worse
Codependency is an umbrella term used to describe a broad spectrum of emotional, mental and behavioral, subconscious, and automatic trauma responses developed in early childhood as an adaptation to chronic, inescapable stress. While over-functioning as a small child, to avoid rejection, the child's nervous system learns to scan their environment for potential threats. This scanning is called hypervigilance, and it also exiles the inner child into an abyss. Children of toxic, dysfunctional parents, families, and circumstances are denied the compassionate adult, whose role is to mentor, teach, and guide a child in a way that nurtures a positive sense of self. The very basics of healthy human interraction are not modeled. A child who has learned they must scan their environment must: Use their conscious waking hours scanning their parents' facial expressions, moods, and tones--while this is occurring, a child is learning how to morph and adapt, rather than explore the inner self, their inner child, their inner landscape Abandoning the self, including their innate needs, wants, emotions, and right to be authentic, to avoid further emotional neglect, abuse, bullying, or rejection—while this survival response was useful during childhood, the adult child eventually learns that they often don't know what they want or need. This can be a frustrating experience in therapy and relationships. If you are codependent, you may have felt frustrated in therapy when asked, "What do you need" What do you want?" Codependents do not know what they need. They Struggle to Trust Their Inner World Codependency is built on self-abandonment. Many codependents grew up in environments where their emotions were dismissed, mocked, punished, or ignored. Carl Jung would say their inner child—what he called the "Divine Child"—was exiled. So when asked: "What do you feel?" "What do you want?"
