This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Birthdays was the worst days, now Coen drinks champagne when he’s thirstay* Stolen packages * 9-0…but not really* Disaster for democracy!* We’re worried about Keith Olbermann* Disastrous polls for Ol’ Joe* The RAGE and the pride* As always, Trump is raising money* Keith is crying piss* A bizarro time machine * Some dating advice for (MAGA?) Mary