In an episode that will go down in history as being one of many podcasts, John finds himself in the lap of luxury at the Mandarin Oriental, where he's treated to an extravagant tea experience, but also gets to say the word “Oriental” without getting cancelled. Next, Carmen and John dive into the chaos of recent world events, observing how Gen Z is now facing the music of cancel culture. The very same monster that the Zoomers created is now destroying them. Fun! It's not like nobody predicted that would happen. The dyslexic duo also serves up double the entertainment with not one, but two movie reviews. First up, they dissect the French-German-Probably Something Else thriller, "Anatomy of a Fall," praising a child actor's performance (though in reality he’s probably 35). Then, these two beautiful hosts come very late to the party as they unravel the mysteries of the "Everybody Loves Raymond" finale from 2005. Will you, the listener, decode the hidden meaning behind the sitcom's iconic conclusion and its connection to this podcast? Only time - or a really good fortune teller - will tell.

This episode is packed with more twists than a pretzel seller at a contortionist convention. That’s right, it’s an all-movie review spectacular as Carmen and John climb the cinematic mountain of "Society of the Snow" from Spain—a film so gripping, it has John gripping himself most of the time, while Carmen contemplates which parts of John to eat last (unsurprisingly, the b-hole is on that list). Then, hold onto your 13-year-old junk as the duo tackles "May/December," a movie so scandalous even AI refuses to write a synopsis of it! This all somehow elegantly leads to Carmen and John's inspiring banter about the Oscars, diversity, and the odor of modern storytelling. Believe me when I say, this is an episode you won’t want to listen to! I mean, uh, miss.

This week’s guest, Evan Waite - one of John’s buddies and humor-writing heroes, as well as the brains behind the forthcoming book "Life Wants You Dead” - spills the comedic beans on his journey from English teacher in China to the illustrious ranks of Fox's "Family Guy." Brace yourself for laughs (or at least, discussions about laughs) as Evan explains navigating the tricky terrain of writing for TV versus print, offering insights into the mysterious art of making people snort through their noses. From Emmy-nominated escapades on "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" to an award-winning conquest with Adult Swim’s "Three Busy Debras," you’ll want to tune in as he unveils the secrets of comedy and confesses just how many cups of coffee it takes to make the magic happen.

Carmen and John take an unexpected detour into the world of Princess Diana and manage to crash and burn the conversation in a tunnel just like Lady Dead did. Then it’s time for the duo to unpack some famous urban legends. But the highlight is Carmen's scatterbrained adventure throughout the episode which takes center stage as she hilariously struggles to focus amidst a chaotic symphony of medication side effects. From royal revelations to questionable urban tales, this episode is a paparazzi chase through lower London that ends with…oh wait, we did that metaphor already. Well, if “The Crown” can regurgitate that dead hussy for money, so can Carmen and John.

John tells Carmen about crashing at his fat, wealthy aunt's mansion, only to discover the pool is a no-go zone thanks to a broken cage and lurking gators. Then Carmen and John dive into some serious "First World problems" at Disney World as they whine about their dumb park reservations system and their new and very confusing "Genie Plus" system. But they have high praise for Bidenomics. As if that wasn't enough, Carmen regresses into childhood antics, and the duo dishes for literally 9 seconds on the Claudine Gay scandal. Lucky you!

It’s another Christmas special and John gets into the holiday spirit by delivering a spirited rant about the audience's duty to listen to Carmen’s new comedy specials. Meanwhile, the duo hilariously pretend (hilarious to just them) that they’ve already been to Disney World, dropping a sly hint about an upcoming episode that spills the real rollercoaster details. Amidst the festive chaos, John regales Carmen in a personal story about an uncle who got little Johnny drunk on eggnog when he was five. But the yuletide surprises don't end there as Carmen gifts John with Global Entry, leaving him utterly clueless about what it even means. (Hint: it has nothing to do with anal entry). Oh and the XXX in the title refers to talk of pornographic comics. Lots of them.

Carmen and John dissect the chaos that is John with Covid (his second bout since the PLANdemic began, am I right, nut jobs?). They share sickness anecdotes that teeter between amusing and, well…not amusing. The hosts then engage in an epic showdown of Podcast John vs. Podcast Carmen, unleashing a competitive banter that might just redefine podcasting rivalries. But doesn’t. Carmen then spills more beans on her recent comedy special release, and the duo dives deep into the turbulent waters of fame versus non-fame, pondering the merits of recognition in the comedy world without making it too ponderous. To cap it off, they share their riveting take on the thrilling Netflix masterpiece, "Leave the World Behind," promising listeners a cinematic rollercoaster of yawns and death.

Carmen and John dive groin-first into the bizarre world of Beetlejuice, leaving Carmen questioning her life choices since she had never seen the iconic film before (she's seen her groin TOO much, however). As they navigate the spooky antics of the afterlife, the duo takes an unexpected turn to chat about the elusive "Golden Bachelor," a show John not only hasn't seen, but wishes to assassinate. Oh, if only shows could be murdered! Amidst discussions about Sandra Day O'Connor's going to the great big bench in the sky (Hell has a sky, right?), the hosts manage to make up new songs nobody asked for. To wrap things up, they delve into their friend, Adrienne Iapalucci's new comedy special taping, describing it as dark and delicious—like biting into a chocolate bar that gives you an instant mouth orgasm.

Carmen spills the beans about the Annette Benning movie “Nyad" (SPOILER ALERT: In real life, Diane Nyad today resembles the dashing Roger Daltrey). The duo also discusses Carmen's desperate attempts to score spots on Spanish podcasts to promote her Spanish special. [BTW, Carmen’s English special “Queef Week” is available on Mark Normand’s YouTube channel @MarkNormand!] Then Carmen recounts her latest Mel Robbins lesson and John dives into the Spiderverse movie so, yes, there are TWO movie reviews in this episode. ANOTHER BTW, Carmen had to bail mid-Spiderverse due to an unexpected disco inferno of flashing lights which started to “Mary Hart” her brain (all is explained when you listen, so listen).

Carmen and John dive into "The Blackening" with a movie review (as opposed to, you know, a restaurant review) that asks the burning question: Could white people write this film? The answer? A perplexing mix of yes and no that will leave you feeling less racist. Then John reveals his wild dream (starring “Barbra Streisand”) which Carmen is convinced was an omen for John’s acting career. Also, hey…do you like dandruff? No? How about if it comes from a beard? Yes?! Well, then you’re going to love the FLAKY discussion the duo has about John's recent adventures on his face. It’s cinema, dreams, and skincare gone hilariously wrong on everyone’s favorite podcast! Oh, and lots of delusion, too!

Carmen and John dive headfirst into horror-comedy movies, revealing how even the most iconic film formats can get a spine-chilling makeover. But, you know, less articulate than that. Things take an awkward turn as they explore the reverse - high-concept comedies spawned from horror tropes—imagine "What Women Want" where instead of hearing women's thoughts, Mel Gibson heard their periods. Or "Bruce Almighty," but instead he's satan and also a trans activist for some reason (trust us, if you listen to the ep it all makes even less sense). Meanwhile, John spills the beans on surviving the mind-bending rollercoaster that is "Lost" with his son, as Carmen braves the promotional jungle in Madrid for her upcoming comedy specials!

In this spooky episode recorded unspookily on Halloween, Carmen and John share their frightening neighbor's obsession with Halloween-themed songs blasting from their windows on an endless loop all day long. They also dive into a recent mysterious, true "crime" story involving a guy offering cups of blood to passersby in the Village (NYC). The episode then takes a darker turn with the sad news of Matthew Perry’s final "Friends" finale. But for the ultimate in terror chills, listen as the duo tells the tale of the ongoing Israeli-Gaza conflict where Ivy League students who support Hamas are discussed as well as people who aren't morons. They also find time for a bone-chilling movie review, a replay of Carmen's Voice Over audition for John's latest animated show, and a spine-tingling commercial for Halloween costumes. Plus, Carmen discusses her eerie experience at a new gym class. To top it off, they put their knowledge to the test with a ghoulish Halloween quiz and introduce some brand new Halloween tunes to get you in the spooky spirit that’ll last you days, even weeks, AFTER Halloween! OoooooOOOOOoooooo!

Get ready to embark on a journey through a world of mirrors, prostates, and movie magic! Carmen unveils the groundbreaking "The High Five Habit" mirror technique by Mel Robbins, (who's a winner of the prestigious NOPITW - Number One Podcast in the World or something like that.) Meanwhile, John shares his thrilling visit to the prostate doctor, or was it the urologist? Tune in to solve the medical mystery! Then the dumb-namic duo dives headfirst into the cinematic universe of “Tammy” as they celebrate (and slightly urinate on) the sensational career of Melissa McCarthy. And just when you think it couldn't get any more torturously entertaining, Carmen and John whisk you off to the Toronto Latin Comedy Festival where they discuss Nate Bargatze's SNL hosting gig and share their insights on the ever-evolving show business landscape. It’s an episode that'll leave you high-fiving your reflection and begging for no more!

Carmen and John pay tribute to the late and legendary "thigh queen," Suzanne Sommers, then wildly speculate about which celeb might kick the bucket next. They also brainstorm how to modernize the iconic "Three's Company" for today's world. Picture Jack Tripper navigating the pitfalls of online dating and Mr. Furley as a tech-savvy landlord (that’s not what they come up with). Next up, Movie Review! They tackle Netflix’s Beckham documentary. Carmen unveils her true podcast persona, "Carmy Shmarmy," and confesses her secret dream of becoming BFFs with Victoria Beckham. The duo also share their genius plans for turning babies into sports stars, because it's soooo easy, right? ALSO: Book Club! And no, it's not just comic books; Carmen loves crossword puzzles!

In this uproarious episode of "Cultural Crack-Ups," Carmen and John are joined by the one and only Jason Pollack, a stand-up comedian with a side hustle that'll make you giggle, blush and pee a little: authoring coloring books for adults. And trust us, his latest edition about animal mating is not your typical bedtime story. But wait, there's more! The tri-DUMB-verate then tackle the tragedy in Gaza and manage to create an all new tragedy in comedy. And speaking of comedy, they also discuss the fine art of comedic storytelling, sharing a laugh (and maybe a few lies) about the likes of a popular comedian "in trouble" and other funny folks who bend the truth for a punchline. So get ready for some laughter therapy, a splash of animal passion, and a whole lot of coloring inside and outside the lines! COME ON!!

In this extra spicy episode, Carmen and John dive headfirst into more Hispanic Heritage Month. John's cultural IQ gets tested, and it's a wild ride as he attempts to prove he's mastered more than just the pronunciation of "taco." But speaking of wild rides, Carmen confesses her secret obsession with the latest season of The Bachelor, where a 71-year-old man is searching for love. She claims she's only watching it "for laughs," but her detailed critiques say otherwise. It's a journey through cringe-worthy romance like no other. And in a more somber moment, they pay tribute to the dearly departed Joe Matt, an incredible cartoonist who we lost too young. Then in a more ridiculous moment, John talks about the one time he met this cartoon hero of his and nearly ruined it.

Celebration of "National Hispanic Heritage Month" continues as John bravely tackles his Spanish lessons yet again, answering the question "Will he finally say more than just 'Hola'?" Carmen throws a fiesta with a Quinceañera quiz, but before you think Carmen's all about Spanish and salsa, she reveals her wild adventures in Alaska. Listen in as she shares tales of her trusty cleats helping her escape moose, bear encounters (bear mace and all), and even reindeer dogs. She even tells of her friend who found a chilly surprise under the ice. And, finally, Carmen and John answer the age-old question: How many Spanish speakers can you spot in Alaska's wild tundra?

Carmen and John present their first of several episodes celebrating National Hispanic Heritage Month by doing a dive deep into the Netflix series "THE DIPLOMAT." What does that show have to do with Hispanics, you ask? Well, it doesn't, but the duo dissect it with the enthusiasm of two overzealous armadillos at an ant fiesta (pretend armadillos are Hispanic and that metaphor totally works. Also pretend armadillos are like anteaters. Thanks.). But wait, there's more! Carmen unveils her monthly "Hispanic To Do's" list for John, which includes deciphering the ancient mysteries of dishwashers and their mystical time-saving properties. In between all this, Carmen valiantly attempts the impossible – teaching John Spanish. WARNING: language lesson may or may not involve a tomato-throwing incident.

Our hosts bid a hilarious farewell to summer, recounting their epic battles with vermin that have turned their lives into a critter-filled comedy show. From raccoons invading the duo's fire escape (pictured) to rooftop escapades that sound like raccoon rave parties (not pictured), and misadventures with mice in the McDonald's cherry pie cabinet, they've got stories. Whether they're good or not is up to the internet. But the laughter doesn't stop there! John's dad's tearful tales add an emotional twist, while tales of worms and oatmeal maggots keep things delightfully disgusting. And just when you thought it couldn't get any more about vermin, they dive into a lively discussion about the Republican debate, featuring Vivek Ramaswamy and Chris Christie. This smorgasbord of raccoons, piggies, political banter, and unexpected oatmeal surprises will have you holding onto your sides while thinking twice about dirty hands and what might end up in your butt! (Seriously, listen for the butt message - it's important!)

In this up-and-down episode, the duo embarks on a rollercoaster of hilarity as Carmen relates her recent visit with family to King's Dominion, bravely conquering rides with names that sound more like pro wrestlers circa 1987: Racer 75! The Intimidator! The Dominator! However, adrenaline-fueled excitement soon gives way to an urgent need for a break, and Carmen and John dive into the gripping world of "ZOM 100" (Movie Review), where even zombie sharks can't resist a good read (thanks for that one, A.I. Makes NO sense). To top it all off, they swing by Studio 67 in Medford, NJ to dish out the comedic highlights from John's latest stand-up show. Once you buy your tix to The Human CentiPOD, you might just find yourself wanting to ride this comedy coaster over and over again til you puke, you silly minxes!