The Science of Success
Matt Bodnar

The #1 Evidence Based Growth Podcast on the Internet. The Science of Success is about the search for evidence based personal growth. It's about exploring ways to improve your decision-making, understand your mind and how psychology rules the world around you, and learn from experts and thought leaders about ways we can become better versions of ourselves.

In this episode we unlock the POWER of ASKING. When you ask for what you need, miracles can happen, but so many of us are too afraid to really ask, or we feel like we don’t know how or what we should be asking for. How do you get better at ask? How can you tap the tremendous power and potential of the social capital within your network by using the power of asking? We answer these questions and much more with our guest Dr. Wayne Baker.  How to unlock the incredible power and potential of your network and the social capital  Dr. Wayne Baker is an American author and sociologist on the senior faculty of the University of Michigan Ross School of Business. He is best known for his research in economic sociology, and his survey research on values, where he documented Americans’ core values. He writes in both academic and popular media on this theme and is often invited to present his findings across the U.S.  What’s the difference between “paying it back” versus “paying it forward” - what’s the difference? What is a kidney chain? And what can it teach us about the importance of “paying it forward?" What is a reciprocity ring and how can it change the way you interact with your social network? What is social capital? The network that we are involved in and all of the resources that the network contains.  When you ask for what you need - miracles can happen There is a wealth of opportunity at your fingertips - but you have to ASK for it! What are the biggest reasons that people don’t ask for what they need? What stops you from asking for help on the most important things in your life? Why is it so hard to ask for what we need? How do we get better at asking? What should you do if you aren’t clear about what you need? What should you do if you don’t know what to ask for? Start with figuring out your goal. What’s your goal? What are you trying to achieve? What resources do you need to achieve that goal? Money? Advice? Resources?  Then you have to figure out WHO to ask Then you have to MAKE the ask The “two step” method for asking for anything you want. You may not directly know someone, but you probably know someone who knows someone. The “quick start method” for figuring out WHAT YOU NEED and ASKING FOR IT Visioning - developing a detailed, vivid, description of a positive future. Then you start to identify the goals that are in that vision, that back that into request.  What is a SMART request? People don’t know WHY you’re asking for something unless you EXPLAIN.  Research is very clear - the more specific your request, the more likely people are to help.  If you make a smart, well formulated request people are more likely to think you’re smart and competent.  People are more willing to help than you think they are.  Action item: Make a small request in a safe place.  Action item: Use the reciprocity ring or other tools to create structured ways to interact and ask. How to integrate the “Stand Up” into your routines and meetings to structure asking into the natural rhythms of your work and life.  People are willing to help, they are willing to give, but you have to ASK - because people can’t read your mind Life is about connection and asking is what jump starts the power of your connections.  Be a giver-request - be very generous and freely help other people even if they’ve never helped you, or can never help you in the future.  Freely give help and freely ask for what you need - this the most powerful mode of being.  Don’t be a lone wolf. Doing it all by yourself is a recipe for failure.  Overly generous giving, without ever ASKING for what you need - leads to burnout.  Homework: Apply the elements from the quick start method questions above to figure out what you need help with.  Homework: Assess where you are on the spectrum of giving and asking. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this interview we show you how to grow a business with no capital, no product and no service. You will discover how to train yourself to spot outrageous business opportunities surrounding you in everyday life and we give you the strategies for building trust with your ideal clients and business partners. We ask what does it take to become GREAT? In your career, job, business, partnering, relationships we look at exactly how you can achieve greatness in the key areas of your life. All of this and much more with our guest the legendary Jay Abraham.  Jay Abraham is founder and CEO of The Abraham Group, Inc., and is recognized as one of the world’s most successful marketing strategists, business innovators, entrepreneurial advisors, and masters of revenue acceleration. He has spent the last 30+ years solving problems and significantly increasing the bottom lines of over 10,000 clients in more than 400 industries worldwide. How do you grow a company with no capital, product, or service? What does it mean to mine, monetize and maximize relational capital? Whatever your resource impediment or impairment is, someone else has that and you just have to figure out how to ethically leverage it How Jay created 1.5mm in less than 6 months by finding arbitrage between products, services, and audiences  Find “strategic investors” - who else benefits from your growth? Complementary or related products, companies that benefit and naturally grow when you grow - and demonstrate to them that your growth is beneficial for them too - and then get them to help you.  How do you build trust in a business relationship? How do you get someone to introduce you to all of their clients? Before you expend a ton of capital and time on a project - try to get some validation. The only validation that counts is dollars spent, not what a focus group thinks. How to easily validate your business ideas without taking risk on the front end.  There’s a huge amount of IP that’s available to license from places like the Navy, the government, etc Find “parallel universes” that aren’t competitive and plug those opportunities in.  Never put anything at risk until you’ve de-risked and validated your product, service, or business model  What happens when a typical business is STUCK? Figure out what you’re stuck with.  How can you unlock an “unlimited business checkbook” to fund ANY problem within your business? How someone got paid $1mm and a free Porsche to buy a Porsche dealership with creative deal making Spend time traveling outside whatever you do and whatever you’re interested in. Study other businesses, study how other products and services market, how they sell, study topics that are outside your domain of knowledge.  How to train yourself to spot outrageous business opportunities lying around you in everyday life. How you can make the “money connection” - you don’t need to be brilliant, but you have to have the right “sensors” turned on - and they only turn on when you broaden your understanding of what’s possible What is Greatness? And why do so many people fall short of it? Everyone has the ability to be great - and everyone wants to be great. 98% of people are mediocre - yet they want to be great - WHY? What does it take to become GREAT? In your career, job, business, partnering, relationships - how you can achieve greatness in the key areas of your life.  There are 4 keys to achieving greatness With every improvement in greatness there is an exponential increase in quality and outcome - not a linear increase.  Most breakthroughs don’t come from WITHIN an industry - they come from OUTSIDE it.  Homework: Be curious, ask people questions, dig into how other businesses and industries do business. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we have one of the absolute living legends of psychology on the show - we discuss the GREATEST unanswered question in psychology, the biggest thing people mis-understand about flow, what advice young people can take away from our guest's incredible career, and what he thinks the absolute biggest takeaways from his own research are - and much more with Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Your fate, your destiny, your future is not set out for you - you can shape it to be what you want it to be. You have the freedom to make life better for yourself and more worthwhile and meaningful for yourselves. Even the greatest traumas and struggles can be overcome. You don’t have to achieve fame and fortune to live a meaningful and wonderful life and to be truly alive.   Mihaly is Claremont Graduate University’s Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Management. He is a bestselling author and founder and co-director of the Quality of Life Research Center. He is a member of the American Academy of Education, the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, and the National Academy of Leisure Studies and his work has been featured on NPR,TED, WIRED, and more!! The key ideas supported by the data around how people respond to Trauma. People who are focused beyond themselves and their own wellbeing are more resilient to the things that happen to them.  When you focus on the wellbeing of others, society, your family, etc - you’re much more resilient to Trauma How do you think of yourself? Do you think of yourself as the body in which you live? Do you see yourself as being part of a family, group, religion etc? This will shape your response to trauma.  The self is a very poor site for meaning - don’t put all your eggs in the fragile basket of the self  We are all connected - recognizing that helps contextualize our existence Flow and happiness are not the same thing - but they are very related Flow is a momentary state of experience and happiness is a general perspective towards life  If your life is full of flow - it will be a happy life!  How do we consistently create flow states in our lives? If you have those 2 traits you are more likely to be in flow more often  Pay attention to the world around you and connect with it one way or another  Life is quite malleable - we often feel like we’ve been dealt a tough hand, but its often how we react to it that is the most important  How does Mihaly think about creating flow states in his own life? What is the greatest unanswered question in psychology today? What is the biggest mistake or pitfall that younger people (in their mid 20s) can make? You have to keep an open mind, be open to learning Don’t be too instinctive, don’t become an ideologue too soon What’s the biggest thing that people misunderstand about Flow and Mihay’s research?  We have the opportunity to shape ourselves into whoever we want to be- but we have to take into account where we came from and what our experiences have been.  What’s the biggest takeaway from all the research on Flow? Your fate, your destiny, your future is not set out for you - you can shape it to be what you want it to be. You have the freedom to make life better for yourself and more worthwhile and meaningful for yourselves. Even the greatest traumas and struggles can be overcome. You don’t have to achieve fame and fortune to live a meaningful and wonderful life and to be truly alive.  It may not be an easy road to get there, but it’s possible for anyone to get there.  This is open to everyone, but it’s hard to do the work and get there. Life can be much more fun than you think!  We have to look past the limited perspective of our own egos and experiences to understand the beauty of life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we show you how to turn your fear into health, wealth, and happiness. If you want something you’ve never had before, you have to do something you’ve never done before. That means suffering and taking risks. Building a positive relationship with suffering is one of the most important life skills you can master. Suffering is the true training ground of self-transcendence. With our guest Akshay Nanavati we show you how to choose your struggle and build meaningful suffering into your life.  Akshay Nanavati is a Marine Corps Veteran, speaker, adventurer, entrepreneur and author of "Fearvana: The Revolutionary Science of How to Turn Fear into Health, Wealth and Happiness." He is also the founder of the nonprofit, the Fearvana Foundation. His work has been featured in Forbes, Psychology Today, entrepreneur.com, CNN, Huffington Post, Military Times, FOX 5 NY, ABC, NBC and other media outlets around the globe.  From drug addiction to marine corps Bootcamp - to hunting for bombs in Iraq - how Akshay learned to deal with fear  The toughest battle Akshay had to fight was coming home - dealing with PTSD and suicidal thoughts  We live in a world that demonizes stress, anxiety, fear, pain and suffering - and yet in the psychology and neuroscience research shows us that our emotions are normal and inevitable We don’t live in a world of life-threatening risks anymore, and so our brain creates these risks No emotions are good or bad - we assign and create the meaning via our beliefs Humans are meaning-making machines - we naturally create meaning out of everything What you are labeling yourself can powerfully shape your experiences. Typical behaviors like “depression” “PTSD” etc are just brain patterns, and they can be re-written using “Top-Down Neuroplasticity” Don’t wait for the fear to go away, act despite the fear.. or once you learn to train yourself.. BECAUSE of the fear  Building a positive relationship to suffering is the single most important skill to master.  “Hebbs Law” - neurons that fire together, wire together There is a war in your brain for neuronal real estate - use it or lose it.  Should you try to SEEK Suffering instead of AVOID suffering? "There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own Soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” - Dr. Carl Jung “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” - Dr. Carl Jung  Visualize yourself in the process of going through the struggle, the suffering, the tough part of your goals - not the easy parts at the end.  There is tremendous beauty in pushing through and into your fears.  Everything worthwhile is hard, and you have to train yourself to fall in love with suffering. Fall in love with the process.  You cannot get better at something without doing it.  Exercise is a “miracle grow for your brain.” If you could put all the benefits of exercise into a pill, it would be the best selling pill of all time.  If you want something you’ve never had before, you have to do something you’ve never done before. That means suffering and taking a risk. If you don’t proactively search out a proactive worthy challenge - something to struggle and suffer for in your life - then suffering will find you anyway.  Don’t follow your passion, find your "worthy struggle."  You don’t discover a passion you develop a passion.  You have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations to develop your passion.  You only evolve when you suffer. That’s why lottery winners typically lose their winnings. When you struggle for it, you become a different person. Homework: Find one little thing to test yourself. Do a little thing to push yourself outside your comfort zone. Don’t just do it, come back and reflect on it. Journal about it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we discuss how to get started building your network and traffic online. We learn exactly how to build an audience from scratch, insider lessons about the best content marketing approach, how to get your content to go viral, a mind-blowing facebook advertising strategy and why email is still one of the most important marketing channels with our guest Joe Fier. Joe Fier advises businesses on marketing strategy and sales conversion to increase revenues. He consults and creates long-term selling assets for clients, which has generated over $50 million in revenue online. He runs a marketing and tech consulting company and full-scale content marketing agency. He and his Co-Founder at Evergreen Profits, Matt Wolfe are also the hosts of the Hustle and Flowchart Podcast and authors of The Evergreen Traffic Playbook, hosts of the Hustle and Flowchart Podcast and Evergreen Wisdom: Daily Habits & Thoughts To Optimize Your Business & Life. Producing the best possible content was one of the inflection points for Evergreen Profits Content Creation & Development is the cornerstone of their growth strategy  “It starts with content - that’s the inflection point" Attracting the right people to your content hasn’t changed a lot in the last 10 years in the online world.  When Joe kickstarted his podcast, he went to his network and got it front of them How do you build up a network or seed your initial traffic? Places like Reddit, Facebook groups, Quora - get involved in a community, get involved in a bucket of an audience, interject or inject value with the content that you produce - and be consistent. You have to be consistently involved in the community.  You have to build your own “credibility” in the community before you post your own content  Go into the community and spend a few weeks JUST answering questions Just keep adding a ton of value and get the other people to start self-promoting for you  Get to know the OWNER of the subreddit or the MODERATOR of the subreddit (same strategy Sol used) that’s the KEY Spend a minimal budget to kickstart a piece of content Reddit Ads Quora Ads Facebook Ads Google Ads The target goal of the ads = join our email list Email Opt-Ins for a new audience Run these $1/day ads targeting Brene Brown on FB and point them straight to the show notes page There’s no commitment on their part, and you’re selling them on the podcast Retargeting  Warm approach “Exclusive notes on this Brene Brown interview - click here to get them absolutely free" Driven by FB retargeting after they’ve already visited your page Start low and work your way up as you see it working / frequency getting higher  They will have a pool of 10 potential ads and they will assign a budget to the pool, and FB will pull the various ads - let FB’s algorithm do the work for you  Repurpose episodes into something more visual for FB / Instagram / Ads They try to do the opposite of the “Launch” model  Have a longer-term mindset and know that the content you’re putting out in the world will live there for a long long time Create amazing valuable content that will pass the test of time Always try to follow up, the money is made on the follow-up Don’t try to rush the sale, don’t be too pushy, lead with value  Homework: Start an email list and create a good opt-in freebie + pair it up with a checklist or short opt-in guide Then set up retargeting + simple FB ad strategy to bring people back to what you’re doing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you always wondered if the “Law of Attraction” is real? In this episode we dig into the science behind visualization, manifesting and much more to find out what really works and what doesn’t. We share strategies for access your intuition and aligning your emotions, your intuition and your rational thought process to supercharge your brain, show you how to beat imposter syndrome, and much more with our guest Dr. Tara Swart.  Dr. Tara Swart is a neuroscientist and former psychiatric doctor. She is a senior lecturer at MIT Sloan and visiting senior lecturer at Kings College London, and an executive advisor to some of the world's most respected leaders in media and business. In 2016 she was named the world's first Neuroscientist-in-Residence at Corinthia Hotel, London. She is the author of the award-winning Neuroscience for Leadership, co-author of An Attitude for Acting, and lead author of her soon to be released third book, The Source. Can we merge science and spirituality? Is there science that actually explains the “law of attraction?" Because of the way that you think you attract certain things into your life.  The concept of abundant thinking  The mental model “loss aversion” and why losses are more painful than gains  Mastering your emotions, cultivating intuition, they are all very similar to learning a new language  Replace any negative thought with a positive thought immediately - an ancient Buddhist lesson that is supported by the neuroscience of neuroplasticity What should you do if you can’t dislodge a negative thought from your brain? If you have a repetitive negative thought or a theme to a negative narrative in your brain - distill it down to the basic underlying belief that drives that negative thought - create an opposite state and use that as your positive affirmation or mantra (check out limiting belief episodes for more) Use laughter and oxytocin to powerfully encode or recode beliefs  How do you deal with imposter syndrome?  Strategies for overcoming imposter syndrome Does visualization work? Visualization makes things more certain for the brain.  How creating a vision board can powerfully improve your brain’s focus on your goals Value tagging and selective attention - by visualizing your future you start to prime the brain to focus on the things that you want to be important.  “The Tetris Effect” - Do your visualization board as the last thing you do before you go to bed to prime and feed information into your subconscious.  The period of time that you’re about to fall asleep is the period where your subconscious can be the MOST influenced.  Visualization is an umbrella that three big things fall under Neuroplasticity is the ability to change your brain. What you think and how you live can actually change physical things in your body. Journaling is the “single best way” to access your intuition and align your emotions, your intuition and your rational thought process. You can avoid repeating the same mistakes if you start to tap into and access your intuition There’s a large neuronal connection between the gut neurons and the limbic system If you take a high-quality probiotic it can reduce negative thinking in your life There’s a deep connection between your gut and your brain  Probiotics, prebiotics, and fermented foods can improve your brain, your happiness, and your performance  Meta-cognition - thinking about your thinking. Stepping back and asking yourself if your thought processes are healthy and helpful. An awesome exercise you can use to improve your meta-cognition and reframe your thinking Homework: Create an action board. The structure of the board is important. Don’t use words - that go down the logical/rational pathway. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How did one of the greatest geniuses of all time lose his life savings overnight? Despite our illusions of rationality, even the most brilliant humans are not rational at all. We tell ourselves that it’s always the other person who is irrational, envious, and aggressive, and that it’s never us. But science shows that all of our brains are remarkably similar, sculpted by evolution to have baked in biases and bad habits. No one is exempted from the laws of human nature. In this episode we explore the path that all the world’s greatest strategists have used to master their own irrationality and achieve mastery with our legendary guest Robert Greene.  Robert Greene is an author known for his books on strategy, power, and seduction. He has written six international bestsellers: The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, The 50th Law, Mastery, and The Laws of Human Nature. In addition to having a strong following within the business world and a deep following in Washington, DC, Greene’s books are hailed by everyone from war historians to the biggest musicians in the industry (including Jay-Z, Drake, and 50 Cent). How one of the greatest geniuses of all time lost his life savings overnight. Could it happen to you? Despite our illusions of rationality, humans are not rational at all - we are governed by our emotions. To be rational requires deep work and training.  Many forces from evolution that are wired into our brains used to be adaptive, now they can be dangerous and even counter productive  These primitive elemental forces form the cornerstones of human nature Are the emotions that you’re feeling actually from your life? Did they come from you or did they come from other people? We need to be independent, we need to think for ourselves, we need to gain control of our emotional responses.  You can’t begin to be a rational strategist in life until you are aware of your own emotions It begins with humility. Turn your internal self absorption around.  Rationality is being aware of your irrationality. Being aware of the emotions that govern your decisions.  Step back. Cultivating the ability to step away, to pull out of tunnel vision, to see a bigger picture, is a cornerstone of rational thinking and strategic thinking.  The brain operates by simplifying information - we often don’t have access to the SOURCE of our feelings and emotions. You need other people to do anything in life. Investing in the skill of influencing them is one of the most powerful things you can invest in.  How LBJ was a master influencer and could melt away anyone’s defensiveness Respond to people as they ARE not as you want them to be Your natural tendency as you get older is for your mind to close up.  Open, curious, having a mindset of discovery and openness is much more powerful than a deeply convicted rigid mindset. Having a rigid perspective is destroying your mind.  A creative mind is incredibly flexible. That’s the quality of any truly great artist, entrepreneur, or political figure.  It’s the path that ALL of the great strategists in life have followed. Do you want power, creativity, success, and influence? OPEN UP YOUR MIND.  Homework: Use a journal or simply do a thought experiment in your own head - in the course of a day you will feel many different emotions - dig into those emotions and understand what is going on with yourself and your own emotions. Try to find one moment, one emotion, and think about the root cause, think about where that emotion comes from. Where does it REALLY come from? Question. Dig. Think before your act. Try to come up with one little nugget about yourself and why you feel that way and analyze it instead of giving into it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we discuss how to make the most important decisions in your life. Where should you spend your time? How do you evaluate different opportunities? Are you focused on creating wealth or income, and which is more important for you? Should you make a big change in your career or industry? We dig into all of these important questions and give you the tools to answer them with our guest the legendary Roland Frasier. Roland Frasier is a serial entrepreneur who has founded, scaled or sold dozens of different businesses.  He is currently CEO of the War Room Mastermind, where he advises over 150 major companies and principal in DigitalMarketer.com, among several other successful online companies. Roland has experienced business success in several industries including real estate, law, publishing, consulting, and many others. He has worked with major companies such as Microsoft, Infusionsoft, Etihad Airlines, Harper-Collins Publishing and Uber.The biggest business breakthroughs often come from applying unexpected places and cross applications The importance of creating models and frameworks for solving business problemsTake what you read and break it down into something that’s simple and useable How do you take what you’re reading and learning and turn it into something that is actually usable and applicable?The Long and The ShortThe dangers of being “cash poor” and “asset rich”Are you over-focused on income or wealth? Are you a dancing bear? Its so easy to get trapped into reinvesting 100% of your profits into growing your company How do you balance our time between short term income creation and long term wealth creation? Formula: Income Needs = Long Term Growth Desires + Lifestyle Costs + Cushion If you want yourself too far on one side or the other, it’s time to rebalance your focus a bitLife is so fragile - you have to balance living for today and living for tomorrowClassify your opportunities as either “wealth” opportunities or “income opportunities”You should be hustling, but you shouldn’t be hustling all the time.You have to stop and think.You have to stop and recover too.If you study some seriously successful and ultra driven people - they often achieve that success at the cost of their own personal and family lives If you want to really innovate, you have to take time to think.The world will demand 400% of your time. You have to limit the number of opportunities you take on. It’s easy to drown in opportunity. Once in a lifetime opportunities come around 3 or 4 times per year. PFM + Will it move the needle in terms of what you want to accomplish personally and financially? PeopleFunMoneySaying “not now” is not the same thing as saying no - it’s a great way to defer opportunitiesThe power and importance of asking for things Be inquisitive and child like in asking the things you are curious aboutThe “No harm in asking” RuleIn a business deal, if you don’t ask for what you want, it sure as well won’t be handed to you. The power of “inception” via the principle of Socratic Influencing - how you can get people to think that your ideas are theirs Lead people logically to the conclusion that you want them to arrive atThe absolutely magical power Should you “grow where you are planted?"The power and importance of developing your personal brand to help your business Homework: Determine what are you going to spend your time on? IDEA: Create a “Life Priority Matrix”  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we discuss crazy research that can predict 94% of the time whether or not your relationship will be successful. We reveal why you should NEVER give someone unsolicited advice. We share the communication “Swiss army knife” that you can use to build rapport, influence anyone, and deepen the most important relationships in your life and much more with our guest Michael S. Sorenson. Michael S. Sorensen is an award-winning author, marketing executive, relationship coach, researcher, and personal development junkie. He is the author of the best-selling I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships and the 3-Minute Morning Journal.Listen, seek to understand, and then validatePeople question if we understand how they are feelingReflective listening vs validationCrazy research that can predict 94% of the time whether or not your relationship will be successful.The 3 primary ways of respondingHappily married couples validate each other more than 87% of the time. Divorced couples validated each other only 33% of the time.The biggest takeaway from this interview - don’t give unsolicited advice! When you give people advice they get defensive, and then both parties get frustrated pretty quickly. In today’s societies we have serious difficultly processing and understanding our emotions. Most of the time what people want is NOT advice, they want help processing the difficult emotions that they are experiencing. Reframe: Ask yourself “So, what are you gonna do about it?"When you jump in and give advice, you miss out on an opportunity to show them respect and an opportunity for them to grow. Validation can help when someone is experiencing both negative and positive emotions. Validation is a tremendously powerful negotiation tool. When people feel heard and understood they are more likely to listen to you and understand you. Validation helps you break down defensiveness.What is validation?Invalidating responsesTo be an effective communicator you have to communicate to people the way they ARE, not the way you want them to be. We often invalidate OURSELVES too - saying “it’s fine” or “I shouldn’t feel this way”You can’t repress an emotion and get away with it - they come back stronger and stronger. Repressed emotions are the root of many negative behaviors. We repress ourselves both ways - positively and negatively. When we experience positive things we should validate ourselves.Why you should accept compliments instead of deflecting them. How do you validate and justify an emotion that you don’t agree with? Lessons from dealing with someone who has schizophrenia - and how you can validate emotions that you “disagree with” Justifying emotions - “it makes sense, given what you think, that you feel that way” 4 Steps of ValidationDo you ever feel like someone isn’t listening to you? Maybe you need to flip the script and ask if you’ve really been listening to THEM.“Given what you’ve said, I completely understand why you would feel that way."A lot of emotional problems are a result of parents or people close in our lives who invalidated our negative experiences. Dealing with your emotions is HARD. Your emotions are unruly. Imagine how scary your emotions are as an adult, children don’t have the tools to deal with their emotions.Homework: the next tough conversation you have, don’t give them your advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you feeling too distracted to pay attention? Does listening make your brain hurt? In a world full of noise and distraction - listening is the biggest leadership hack in today’s world. In this episode we crack the code on how to deeply listen, how to listen to what is unsaid, and the tons of specific hacks and tactics you can use to take your listening to the next level with our guest Oscar Trimboli.Oscar Trimboli is on a quest to create 100 million Deep Listeners in the world. He is an author, Host of the Apple Award winning podcast--Deep Listening and a sought-after keynote speaker. He consults for organizations including Cisco, Google, HSBC, and many others. He is the author of the best selling works Breakthroughs: How to confront assumptions and Deep Listening: Impact Beyond Words.If you can listen, you can change the worldThe mission of creating 100 million listeners If you can achieve your goal in your lifetime it’s not ambitious enoughWe are struggling as individuals and the world is struggling - we are distracted, we can’t focus, we are overwhelmed86% of people struggle with distraction todayWe spent the 20th-century learning how to speak, the leadership hack for the 21st century is learning how to listenThe more senior you are, the more you lead, the more time you spend listeningLess than 2% of people have been trained how to listenHow do you teach your kids how to listen? How do you teach your employees how to listen?We listen in 2 dimensions - we listen in black and white right now - but we can listen in more colors, and we can listen more deeply.Listen to someone on TV who you fiercely disagree with. What’s the difference between hearing vs listening? What assumptions and prejudices do you hold?How do you become aware of your listening blind spots?Spend 30 minutes listening to someone who you fiercely disagree with, and you will start to really understand your listening blind spots.We spend a huge chunk of our lives screaming to be noticed. Hearing = here sounds. Listening = make sense of what you hear. The difference between hearing and listening is the action you take. Deep listening is helping the person who is speaking make sense of what they’re saying Three key lessons from neuroscience about listeningWe can listen so much faster than we can speak, it creates a massive opportunity for us to get distractedYou must be an “empty vessel” to focus on someone else and actually listen to them 3 Quick tips to center yourself in a conversationBefore you even think about listening to the speaker, you have to be ready to listen. When somebody says something, treat silence at the end of what they say like it’s another word. 3 Phrases to continue any conversationIn our rush to fill the silence, we miss out on quite a lot. When you use phrases like “tell me more” you give someone the opportunity to align their thoughts more clearly, think through the idea, and figure out the most important themes and ideas to shine through in the conversation. How many breakthroughs are you missing in your organization just because you’re not listening? 5 Levels of Listening“You’ve heard something in 25 minutes that we couldn’t hear in 3 months"A powerful question that can solve insurmountable business problems: Who are you not listening to right now?Sometimes the people you really need to listen to aren’t in the room. The only way to get someone to see the gap between where they are today and where they want to be tomorrow is by ASKING THEM A QUESTION, not by telling them. The magic happens when you put your attention on other people instead of just putting it on yourself.If the question if about YOU and YOUR understanding, it’s not as powerful as a question helping THEM improve THEIR understanding. Homework: Listen to something you deeply disagree with for 30 minutes.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this interview we discuss how to finally break through what’s holding you back, take action, and create lasting habit and behavior change. Less than 30% of people succeed in changing their behavior without using the tools and strategies we share in this interview.  Uncover the neuroscience of how your brain gets stuck and finally start using strategies that really work to create more breakthroughs and results in your life with Dr. David Rock. Dr. David Rock coined the term 'NeuroLeadership' and is the director of the NeuroLeadership Institute. He co-edits the NeuroLeadership Journal and heads up an annual global summit. He is the author of the best-selling 'Your Brain at Work',  'Quiet Leadership',  and the textbook 'Coaching with the Brain in Mind'. He has been featured in the Harvard Business Review, Fortune Magazine, PsychologyToday and many more publications.The brain gets stuck very easily. What happens when we get stuck?Its really hard for our brains to break out of their preexisting molds and patterns of thinking Even breaking out of the smallest mental “schemas” can be very difficult The mechanics of how we get trapped in mental schemas - your subconscious does most of the processing and heavy liftingChanging your thinking patterns is as hard as changing traffic flow on the freeway The unconscious brain is trillions of times more powerful than the conscious brain“Language gives you the ability to alter your experience."The more language you have for your own brain the more you can notice what is going on. Language connects the prefrontal cortex to the rest of the brain. How do you generate more creative insights?If you can even get one day a week of spending your mornings doing contemplative routine, your creative output will explode. After exercise or a nap, or after something fun and restful - when you have energy, when you have the urge to write or create - pay attention to those phenomena and try to tap into them when you get a chance. How do you do a better job paying attention to your mental state and your thoughts?There is ENORMOUS value in learning socially and learning with other people. “Hundreds of percentage” bump in the likelihood of real change.The number one reason that people change is because other people change. This comes from hard scientific data, it’s not theoretical.The default mode network is pretty much always on - and it focuses socially and thinks about how you fit in socially. Social factors are a huge motivation driver - social rewards and social threats are huge drivers of human behavior. The strongest carrots and sticks are SOCIAL. The “SCARF” Model for understanding human behavior, threat response, and how people behave.The brain classifies everything into either danger or opportunity, but it’s a continuum not binary.Managing your “threat state” is one of the most important things you can do. “Help people think better, don’t tell them what to do"Coaching is helping people have their own insights. Conversations, where you help anyone have an insight, is far more likely to create change. Advice is almost always MUCH more about the giver than about what you actually need. How do you actually turn your insights into action?Harness the positive social pressures of learning with other people. The social pressure of learning something together, in little bites, at a time. It helps constantly remind you of the importance of those learning and insights. How do we create organizational change at any scale?Most organizations are pretty good at making priorities, OK on systems, and terrible at the habits. 30% of change initiatives succeed because they ignore habits and human psychology HOMEWORK: Start building language, one habit at a time, find something you’re curious about or want to work on around improving your brain, and learn socially with others.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this interview, we discuss why “creativity is the new literacy” and how you can unlock your own creative genius to create the life you want to live. Most people are completely wrong about what they think creativity is and how to be more creative. We dispel the myths about creative work and show you how to build your creative muscle so that you can create breakthroughs, find your calling, and live your dream life with our guest Chase Jarvis.Chase Jarvis is a photographer, director, and social artist. He is the CEO of CreativeLive and works with major brands like Nike, Pepsi, and more. His personal and fine artwork has caught the attention of everyone from mainstream audiences to art critics across the globe. He is the author of the popular books Seattle 100, The Best Camera Is The One That's With You, and the soon to be released Creative Calling.Why “Creativity is the new literacy” and what that means for your career and life The transition between the Renaissance and the Dark Ages Creativity is everything. Creativity is not just art. It’s not just painting. Creativity is the driving factor behind being successful today. What is creativity? Putting two things together to form something new and useful. Fundamental lessons of creativityYou have agency over creating your own life. Humans are naturally creative machines.Creativity is the #1 most sought after characteristic of world-class CEOsCreativity is a superpower and it’s something that we all possess. Creativity is such an important skill set - in today’s world there’s so much noise, so much new information - stepping back and applying creativity is more important than ever The more that you study people who have become successful, the more you realize that you can’t follow the traditional narrative of business schoolThe school system has failed us - it’s a modern-day factory that hurts creativity. 4 Step Process To Live Your Dream LifeFind your calling, find your path, and make your life effortless Once you become creative, you start seeing creative opportunities everywhere - you can’t unsee them. Never tell yourself “I’m not creative” - everyone has the ability to be creative“Creativity is an infinite resource, the more you use the more you get” - Maya Angelou "Shitty first drafts” are the path towards creativityThere’s so much untapped reactivity in the world, so much untapped potential - you have to realize your own untapped potential and unleash it. To uncover your calling, start pulling threads - it’s not a direct journey, it’s an indirect adventureBecome creative is about a mindset shift - and it’s a shift you’re capable of making right now Don’t be the next "so and so” be the first YOU!Entrepreneurship is alchemy, part science part art Science, productivity, achievement etc - they all boil down to developing the skillset of creativityYour brain evolved to keep you alive, NOT to keep you happy! Your mind short circuits into fear in situations where it shouldn’t Homework: Find something that you can make a habit for 10 days that would meet your own definition of creativity, and do it! Homework: Think of more things in your life as CREATIVE ACTS"Make art, and while everyone else is judging your art, make more." -Andy WarholSuccess is not a map. It’s a compass. You have to walk that direction, navigate the obstacles, and figure it out along the way. Just start.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we discuss how our traditional education system has given us the wrong perspectives on how learning actually works. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of looking for and waiting for the perfect step by step formula, but it’s actually the ability to flexibly experiment that empowers you to be successful in learning, and really anything. We share exactly how you can apply these lessons and much more with our guest Scott Young. Scott Young is a writer and programmer who has undertaken many incredibly challenging self-education projects in his career. These challenges include feats such as attempting to learn MIT's four-year computer science curriculum in twelve months as well as learning four languages in one year. He is the author of the best-selling book Ultralearning: Master Hard Skills, Outsmart the Competition and Accelerate Your Career and his work has been featured in The New York Times, Business Insider, TEDx, and more!Attempting to learn MIT's four-year computer science curriculum in twelve monthsOur expectations around learning are often wrong - and we frequently go about learning the wrong wayHow you can learn any language in less than 3 months How you can harness the power of immersive practice to rapidly accelerate your learningOur traditional education system has given us the wrong perspectives on how learning actually works Practice directly, get feedback, get your hands dirty Self-directed learning is super important - what you want to learn, how you want to learn, and what resources you want to use. It needs to be self-directed.Ultralearning also needs to be focused around efficiency - collecting and learning information as quickly as possible. The powerful concept of “meta-learning” - learning about learning. Before you start ANY learning activity, you want to do some research on what the BEST way to learn is Ultra learning is not a short cut to find a way so you don’t have to do the work but rather prevents you from going down dead ends. If you want to get good at something, you need to do the thing you want to get good at. If you want to know something, ask yourself WHERE and HOW will I use this knowledge?Human beings are really bad at “transfer” - transferring knowledge to new and different contextsThe important difference between “free recall” and “repeated review” when studying information Desirable difficulty in learning. Often the more difficult it is to learn, retrieve or remember somethingThe importance of experimentation. You often want a step by step formula, but those often do not exist. As soon as the formula becomes popular it gets copied to death. The ability to flexibly experiment is a huge skillset towards being successful in learning, and really anything.Start building a toolkit of software tools and mental models to improve your learning and thinking Cultivate a lifelong philosophy of learning new things and adding new thinking tools The greatest moments in your life aren’t because you get a reward, they’re because you experience something that expands your sense of what’s possible How you can use the Feynman Technique to improve your ability to think better and understand complex or confusing topics.How you can debug your own understanding and solve any problem using this powerful technique from a legendary scientist Homework: Think about something you’re learning right now (or trying to learn) think very clearly about the situations where you would use that knowledge or apply that skill. Ask, what kind of situations would this knowledge come up and be relevant? If you read a book, you have to actually IMPLEMENT the IDEAS that you learn from it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we discuss powerful thinking tools and strategies you can use to break through tough problems and give yourself confidence and clarity when you’re dealing with uncertain situations. We share the breakthrough strategy that was used to invent astrophysics, explore how you can make tough life and career choices, and show you how you can use quick experiments to test, learn, and get results quickly. We share all of this and much more in with our guest David Epstein. David Epstein is the author of Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World, and of the New York Times bestseller The Sports Gene. He has master's degrees in environmental science and journalism and has worked as an investigative reporter for ProPublica  and as a senior writer for Sports Illustrated, writing some of their most high-profile investigative stories.We don’t teach the skill of actually THINKING in today’s world. There’s a HUGE advantage in connecting ideas and learning how to think broadly, especially as people specialize more. The more and more people specialize the more powerful range and broad thinking becomes. For much of the 20th century most of progress was driven by specialization, but beginning in the 1980s, most breakthroughs started coming from multidisciplinary combinations and breadth, not depth. The “cult of the head start” - the drive to specialize as narrowly and as early as possible. What can we learn from the story of Tiger Woods? Traditional chess is an activity where early specialization is really important. Moraveck’s paradox - humans and machines have opposite strengths and weaknesses.In freestyle chess, you outsource the pattern study to the computer, and you focus on the higher level strategy - it becomes a completely different game. That’s what has happened to success in today’s world.“A broader set of integrative skills” is where humans can add the most value. How “wicked learning environments” like business, investing, medicine, and human interaction are much trickier to navigate, and what that means for how you learn and improve Learning and improvement in “kind domains” vs “wicked domains” Using “Fermi Problems” to navigate tough situations and learning environmentsThe Importance of “broadly applicable reasoning tools” over highly specific knowledge Analogies are one of the most important tools for creative problem solvingSuccessful problem solvers are more able to determine the deep structure of a problem before they proceed to match a strategy to it.“Switchers are winners” - why changing your job or changing what you study can end up being a huge win for you. The economics concept of “match quality” and how it can impact the direction of your lifeWho wins the tradeoff between early and late specializers? Grit is great, but strategic quitting can be a great thing. Even the researcher of Grit, Angela Duckworth, supports changing directions. Which among my various possible selves should I start to explore now? How can I do that?Taking a beginning fiction writing class helped David become a better nonfiction writer. How you can use the Japanese concept of “Bansho” to improve your thinking and become a more effective learner “Making connections” knowledge  vs “Using procedures” knowledge. Drawing broad and deep connections instead of learning routines. The power of using “Interleaving” as a learning method. Forcing learners into "conceptual thinking" improves deep and longer lasting learning. Homework: Create a “book of small experiments” and start testing the things you might want to do or learn. Do something new once a quarter. Create a hypothesis of why you want to explore that interest and test the hypothesis. Homework: Whenever you’re thinking about a project you’re going to take on, you will make predictions about how that project will go, use the ‘outside view’ instead of the ‘inside view.’ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we discuss what creates great performance at work. Uncover how you can do better work in fewer hours. Get rid of wasted meetings with hacks you can use to make your meetings radically more productive, finally remove the things that are distracting you, learn the recipe you need to say no to your boss the right way, and focus on the biggest things that will create the most value in your work. We share all of these lessons and much more with our guest Dr. Morten Hansen. Dr. Morten Hansen is a management professor at the UC, Berkeley and a faculty member at Apple University. His academic research has won several prestigious awards and he is ranked as one of the world’s most influential management thinkers by Thinkers50. He was also a manager at the Boston Consulting Group, where he advised corporate clients worldwide. He is the author of the best sellingGreat at Work, Great by Choice, and Collaboration.Study of 5000 people, how they work, and their performance. The biggest conclusion… most people work the WRONG way. Most people think working MORE is better. The VERY TOP PERFORMERS across PROFESSIONS and INDUSTRIES and AGE GROUPS tend to be those who are really really good at picking the most important priorities, engaging extreme focus, and going all-in on the few things that matter the most. Productivity is going down in today’s world, it’s not going up. You have to work hard, but after about 50 hours of work, there are massively diminished returns, and a sharp spike in marginal productivity, beyond 65 hrs per week you start performing less well than someone working 40 hours per week. It’s not about cramming more hours into your week, it’s about focusing those hours on the RIGHT THINGS and prioritizing appropriately. Evidence-based insights into what it means to be a top performer at work. “What creates great performance at work?"Focus is often misunderstood. “Do less, then obsess."Focus in the workplace means FEWER TASKS and FEWER PRIORITIES. Many people are not good at saying no“One of the greatest professional skills required to be successful today is the ability to say no."If you don’t say no, then you start doing mediocre work. What do you do when your boss fires back “all your projects are important?"How do you think about focus in the context of “portfolio” opportunities? (Investors, real estate agents, and so forth). If the execution of each one of those things depends on YOUR effort, then you should be FOCUSING on that. Whether or not it hinges on your specific effort, that is the key question. Whenever the execution is reliant on you, you have to FOCUS DEEPLY and execute. What’s the difference between passion and purpose?People who have more passion and purpose don’t work more hours, but they get more out of EACH hour they work. How do you find passion and purpose in your work every day?KEY TACTIC: What are the 3 most valuable things I can do at my job?Most people spend less than 40% of their time on their top 3 priorities. How do you change and remove things from your calendar that are distracting you?Routine busywork prevents you from taking the time to actually implement these kinds of contemplative routines.Are you tired of wasting your time daily in ineffective meetings?Hacks for radically improving the productivity of your meetings:Homework: Do Less, then Obsess. Review your calendar for the next 2 weeks and cut out one or two things. Say no to something or don’t accept the invitation. Free up your time and then dedicate it on the most important thing you need to get done.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we explore the mind-bending science of genetic engineering and why it’s going to change everything in our lives, whether we want it to or not. We share crazy stories and examples from the cutting edge of science, look at shocking examples around the world of what is going on with human genetic science and explore the science of immortality with a few simple life hacks can you implement right now to extend your life and help you live past 100, with our guest Jamie Metzl.   Jamie Metzl is a Senior Fellow of the Atlantic Council. In February 2019, he was appointed to the World Health Organization expert advisory committee on developing global standards for the governance and oversight of human genome editing. He is the author of five books, including the non-fiction work, Hacking Darwin: Genetic Engineering and the Future of Humanity. Jamie previously served in the U.S. National Security Council, State Department, Senate Foreign Relations Committee and as a Human Rights Officer for the United Nations in Cambodia. The future is already here, it’s just not evenly distributed yetOpen your eyes a little bit wider and see the radical technological developments that will fundamentally transform your life are on the short term horizonGenetic technologies are, in very short order, going to fundamentally transform our societiesThe genetics revolution is inevitable and it’s already here. Countries like China are already massively pushing the limits on genetic science, well beyond what we may even feel comfortable with in the US todayChina is extremely wealthy, extremely powerful, and has a “Wild West” culture around genetic engineering, designer babies, and human genome editing“The Arms Race of the Human Race” - what happens in a world where the US restricts or prevents genetic engineering but another country, for example, China, substantially embraces them?Slippery slope and how this radically starts to change our world pretty incredibly - most people would probably want to know if their child had a higher risk of a certain disease, so they could prevent it… what happens when we make that shift from a child to a human embryo?“The End of Sex” - “Old Fashioned Sex” will soon be viewed as reckless and dangerous.“Would you play Russian roulette with your child’s future health by NOT affirmatively selecting health?"Would you wish polio on a child because it’s natural? What about a genetic disease that could be prevented?It’s not a question of wonderful nature vs scary science. Nature is pretty scary. People die of horrible genetic disorders today.Why Jamie considers anti-vaccine “monstrous""In vitro gametogenesis” - what happens if you could make 100,000 potential embryos and pick the healthiest ones?What is a synthetic womb and why is it something that is so crazy it might make total sense in 30-50 years?Why Jamie’s goal is to live to 150, and what he’s doing to get there. Simple life hacks can you implement to extend your life as much as possible?Do everything that people who live in the blue zones are doing.Homework: Get yourself educated on genetic science. Homework: If you’re planning on having children, freeze your eggs and freeze your sperm today. Freeze them when you’re twenty. It gives you the option of using healthy and vibrant genetic material in the future. Homework: For longevity: Exercise 45 minutes a day. Eat healthy food. Homework: Do your own homework and empower yourself about precision medicine. Medical knowledge is decentralizing. You are the primary agent of change in your life.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we talk about one of the MOST important skills in the modern world - the ability to be inDISTRACTable. Are you sick and tired of distraction? Do you feel constantly overwhelmed in a world of notifications, demands, messages, and more and more information flying at you? In this episode we discuss exactly how you can battle back from distraction, control your attention and choose the life you want using the power of being “indistractable” with our guest Nir Eyal.Nir Eyal is an expert in “behavioral design” having worked in both advertising and video gaming helping companies build and create more engaging products. Nir is the Wall Street Journal bestselling author of the book Hooked: How To Build Habit Forming Products and has been featured in Forbes, Psychology Today, and more. Nir is an active angel investor and currently writes to help companies create good habit and behaviors in their users on his blog NirandFar.com.How do we deal with distraction in today’s world?Why don’t we do what we say we’re going to do? Why do we do the things we know we shouldn’t do?What is “akrasia” and how did the greek philosophers deal with the challenge of distraction?Many of the “folk psychology” remedies to distraction don’t actually workMost likely you know what you want to do. It’s also equally important to avoid the things you don’t want to do. How do you become “indistractable"? It’s about CONSISTENCY over INTENSITY to achieve anything. What gets in the way of consistency moves you away from your goals. If you don’t focus on the CORE reason you’re getting distracted you won’t solve the issue. What is the job of a knowledge worker?What is the output of knowledge work? Problem solving. Coming up with novel solutions to hard problems. "The psychology of distraction”The opposite of distraction is NOT focus, the opposite of distraction is TRACTION. And both words end in ACTION. EXTERNAL TRIGGERS are NOT the DISTRACTIONEverything we do is about the avoidance of discomfort. In psychology, this is called the “homeostatic response."To begin, we have to master our internal triggers. One of the most common distractions in the workplace are OTHER WORKERSDistraction is the third leading cause of death in the United States! How nurses at UCSF made a simple yet earth-shattering change that saved thousands of lives by removing external distractions, reducing prescription mistakes by 88%!!What can you as a knowledge worker do to prevent being distracted during deep work?Mindfulness and meditation is fantastic when you can’t get rid of the internal triggers. The first question you should ask yourself before you meditate is can you change the SOURCE, can you FIX the problem? Self-compassion is a cornerstone of achievement and an essential component "You can’t call something a distraction unless you know what it distracted you from."The myth of the todo list. The magic to do list fairy doesn’t exist. Your to dos are your OUTPUTS not your inputs. They have nothing to do with your inputs. You can only control and schedule the INPUTS. That’s what you need to focus on. Schedule everything you want to spend time on, good, bad, fun etc - and when you’re NOT doing that, you’re being distracted. Homework: Know what you WANT TO DO with your TIME. Homework: Realize you have power, control, and agency to put distraction in its place in your life.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you know what you should do but you don’t do it? In this episode, we dig into the science behind WHY this happens and HOW exactly you can overcome this massive obstacle. No one’s ever actually stuck, but the reason you FEEL stuck is that what you want, your goals, desires, change you want in your life, etc, are bumping up against an emotional roadblock or subconscious belief. It’s like having one foot on the gas while the other slams down the breaks. In this interview with Dr. Sasha Heinz, we share what you can do to finally overcome that fear and anxiety and transform your life.  Dr. Sasha Heinz is a developmental psychologist and life coach, is an expert in positive psychology, lasting behavioral change, and the science of getting unstuck. She received her BA from Harvard, her Ph.D. in developmental psychology from Columbia, and her master’s in applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, where she also served as a faculty member.Education is good. Application is better. Transformation is best.Focus on mitigating mental disorders vs focusing on happiness and mental health“The neurotic paradox"Focusing your life around “optimal human functioning”If you aren’t doing something, you aren’t going to see different results. Do you ever know what you SHOULD do, and yet you don’t do it? “The biography of your beliefs” shapes how you think, perceive, and ultimately act in the world. Your emotional brain is much more powerful than your logical brainNo one’s ever actually stuck, but the reason you FEEL stuck is that what you want (your desire, change, etc) is bumping up against an emotional roadblock or subconscious belief (often from your childhood). Are you actively directing and engaging the direction and amplitude of change in your life?If you want to know WHY you’re not moving forward, pay attention to what you’re feelingYour thoughts are totally optional. You have the autonomy to decide what you want to believe about yourself.You have to work at both ends of the psychological spectrum simultaneously - healing wounds and trauma, and focusing on optimal human functioningDo a deep inventory of your current belief systems. What were you taught about yourself? What were you taught about your potential? What did you believe about your health, competence, intelligence, lovability, etc as a child? Conduct a “belief blueprint” of yourself. You have one foot on the gas, that’s your neocortex, and you have one foot on the brake, that’s your emotional cortex saying “that’s way too scary."Often a coach or a psychologist can help you uncover those beliefs and figure out what is making your emotional brain freak out?When you’re doing something you don’t want to do… pause and reflect.. and ask yourself “WHY AM I DOING THIS BEHAVIOR?"The action that comes out of negative emotion is very narrow.Sometimes personal development work is hysterical because the human brain is so irrational You can rationalize anything.. Rational Lies.Managing your mind is the currency of the next generation because our world today requires it to be successful. Become more fluent in your own emotions and experience them. Don’t resist your emotions, just allow them to happen, feel them, and observe them. They last about 90 seconds. Growth and development require uncomfortable emotions. Homework: Make a list of all the things you do to avoid feeling your feelings. Homework: Make a list of the things you do that seem completely bonkers and seem completely contradictory to your goals and desires. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you feel like you don’t have enough time and you’re constantly in a state of reacting to external stimulus? How do you conduct a powerful monthly review that will unlock opportunities for growth, focus, and improvement? In this episode, we go deep into stacking powerful mental models, harnessing best practices, and optimizing your life with our guest Sebastian Marshall. Sebastian Marshall is an author, entrepreneur, and founder of Ultraworking.com. His blog SebastianMarshall.com has been read by over half a million people from a wide range of industries and walks of life. At Ultraworking, Sebastian helps those who are already tremendously productive take even greater leaps and get more done in record timeHow do you take things apart and learn what makes them tick?What stops people from applying ideas and techniques that they know, understand, and would help them?How do you learn about any topic that is interesting to you?How do you follow the ancient wisdom of “know thyself"The problem of losing weight is not a problem of lack of information - it’s a problem of something else stopping you - this can be applied to anythingThis idea of how to think, how to make decisions - if you want to lose weight - people spend 99% of their time trying to get the perfect bit of information and the perfect strategy, if you just took something that was “Good enough” - you could get 90% of the way there with extremely simple tactics - but I the big barrier to that is that people often don’t know how to THINKWhen you’re trying to create ANY result - you have to begin with studying some of the best practicesWhen you’re trying to learn, beginners want basic rules to follow Very advanced people tend to operate on heuristics instead of rigid rules What are mental models and why are they important? The 3 question weekly review that will revolutionize your time and priorities.Starting with big, aspirational goals can actually be dangerous or problematic If you want to take on any big goal and succeed, you have to start with an analysis of where you are and what’s working. How do you conduct a powerful monthly review that will unlock opportunities for growth, focus, and improvement?Do you feel like you don’t have enough time and you’re constantly in a state of reacting to external stimulus? How do you apply the idea of compounding your own personal development? If there’s a lot of junk in your life, you don’t have space for the good and important things in your life Cut the junk, set a baseline of contemplative routines, and start stacking them up If you stack enough best practices and mental models together, suddenly you start to build rockets. It’s not about being a super disciplined person - it's about creating the conditions that enable you to be successful. A lot of people break down the first time they have a failure, design your protocols and habits to have failure baked into it. Sebastian targets a 70% success rate for his daily habits. The ideal Olympic athlete doesn’t give 110%. Most people only give 40-60% of what they’re capable of, even when they think they are trying hard. Athletes should train at 80% of maximum ability.Why you should establish a “fire break” to clean your mental slate periodically. Homework: If you don’t have a structured introspection time or contemplative routine. Pick a time and do one. Create a calendar appointment to do this.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we discuss how to train yourself to think and act like a spy, with lessons from a real world expert. In the game of spycraft, the stakes couldn’t be higher and one mistake may land you dead or in a foreign prison. In that deadly crucible, only the best ideas survive. We crack open the secrets you can use to influence, develop relationships, and create a bridge with anyone you meet with the die hard rules from the world’s top secret agents with our guest Jason R. Hanson. Jason R. Hanson is a former CIA Officer, New York Times bestselling author and serial entrepreneur. He is the founder and CEO of the survival company, Spy Escape & Evasion which was featured in the 5th season of Shark Tank landing a deal with Daymond John. He is the author of Spy Secrets That Can Save Your Life, Survive Like a Spy, and coming soon Agent of Influence: How to Use Spy Skills to Persuade Anyone, Sell Anything, and Build a Successful Business.If you’re a spy, the stakes are high - if you screw up you may end up dead or in a foreign prisonWhen you’re a spy you’re often alone and you have to figure things out for yourself. Resourcefulness is an essential skill for survival as a spy. How spies “throw people to the wolves” to see how resourceful they truly areHow spies use resourcefulness, creativity and problem solving to always find a way to win“Never give up, never take no for an answer, there’s always a way to figure it out."Empathy and emotional intelligence are two cornerstones of the spies toolkit - you can’t be fake. In the CIA - you HAD TO PUT IN THE WORK because if you made a mistake, you might end up dead. Spies have really truly battle-tested their concepts in a brutally unforgiving proving ground “Treason is not an easy product to sell” - how do you sell someone on betraying their country?If you want to influence an “asset” - you have to research the “hot button” that is important to them - figure out what matters and frame everything in terms of their top prioritiesThe “SADR” Cycle Spies use to Recruit and develop assetsHow do you quickly identify people who can help you succeed?How to generate a warm introduction or referral from anyoneThe “Art of Elicitation” - how to question and read people like a spy The “hourglass conversation technique” Flattery works. Period. But you have to be GENUINE about it. And do it in a sincere way.“Die hard rules” for creating a bridge with someone The Law of Reciprocity is HUGE in the spy game. In today’s world its a huge strategic advantage to spend your time LISTENING instead of TALKING. Recruiting - if you’re not 100% sure the deal is gonna close, don’t go for the sale - do more work on developing the relationship first How do you transfer or terminate a previously important relationship?Spy skills are just “Enhanced Common Sense” - how do you leverage the basic common sense to improve your effectiveness in communication“Extreme preparation” is the difference between players and people who won’t be that successful. To be a successful spy you must always be VERY teachable  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices