The Art of Charm
AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak

The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.

Conflict resolution is not a skillset that comes naturally for most of us because our egos will always want to defend us by proving we’re correct at the expense of actually working to a resolution, so what can we do to understand the psychology of conflict resolution and improve our conflict resolution skills? What to Listen ForWhat core psychological principles cause unnecessary conflict and what can you do to deal with them?What are the different phases of conflict resolution?What can you do to develop the skills required for effective conflict resolution and how can they save you from sabotaging your jobs, friends, or relationship?How did Judy Ringer get her start in conflict resolution?During conflict, why do we default to wanting to be right instead of being curious about the other side, and what can we do to flip that switch so we can deal with conflict more effectively?How can using open questions instead of statements or closed questions lead to an environment better suited for conflict resolution?What does it mean to take responsibility for a conflict even if you’re not actually at fault for what happened?How do you reflect on recent conflicts in order to learn from them and develop your conflict resolution skills?What can you do to journal your conflict resolution journey in a way that helps you grow?What simple tips can you implement to start redirecting conflict toward resolution rather than escalation?As a manager, how do you ask the right questions when trying to resolve a conflict between your employees?What markers can you look for to detect conflict under the surface that might not be apparent at first glance so you know when to step in and stop a spark from growing into a wildfire? Conflict resolution is a skill most of us have to work on intentionally and consistently because our default as humans is to “resolve” conflicts by proving we’re right rather than trying to understand both sides and come to an actual resolution cooperatively. The best place to start is by recognizing the moment a conflict arises and making the decision to ask questions instead of proving you’re right. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Need a stylish, lightweight, and durable suitcase with a 100-day money-back guarantee? Away creates thoughtful products designed to change how you see the world. For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com and use discount promo code CHARM20 during checkout! Vistaprint wants you to be able to “Own the Now” in any situation, which is why our listeners will get 500 high-quality, custom business cards starting at $9.99. Use discount code CHARM at Vistaprint.com. This Fall, start a new monthly routine that’ll upgrade your life and style with a Box of Awesome from Bespoke Post. Bespoke Post sends guys only the best stuff, every month. So whether you’re looking to craft your own hard-cider or toast perfectly aged Fall cocktails—Box of Awesome has you covered. Get 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at BoxOfAwesome.com and enter the special discount code AOC at checkout. That’s Box of Awesome dot com, special discount code AOC for 20% off your first box. Resources from this Episode Episode 697 - High Value Conflict Resolution Judy Ringer Turn Enemies Into Allies: The Art of Peace in the Workplace Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Leadership skills is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot yet can mean many different things depending on the person using it, so what does “leadership skills” really mean, what does the science say about the value of leadership skills, and what can you do. What to Listen ForWhat traits do you need to bring to the table as a leader and what can you do to develop them?Why is a strong frame necessary for effective leadership?What does it mean to have a strong frame and what can you do to build one?What tools and techniques can you start using today to be a more effective leader?How do you build leadership skills?Are leadership skills applicable outside of the workplace?What is the CAKE equation and how can you use it to build confidence?What does science say about the value of leadership skills?What are the two leadership styles and which one do we tend to associate with leadership even though it’s not as effective as the other in the long run?How do you work on or start building your leadership skills in your personal life? It might come as a surprise to some that leadership skills are just as important in your personal life as they are in your professional life because being a leader doesn’t automatically imply ordering people around. That is a specific aspect of leadership and one that great leaders rarely resort to. Being a leader within your social circle can just mean taking the initiative in organizing the next poker night or girls’ night out instead of waiting for someone else to do it. Being a leader can also mean encouraging and supporting your friends in hard times and celebrating them in their successes. Leadership means having the confidence in yourself to raise up those around you without expecting anything in return. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Need a stylish, lightweight, and durable suitcase with a 100-day money-back guarantee? Away creates thoughtful products designed to change how you see the world. For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com and use discount promo code CHARM20 during checkout! Vistaprint wants you to be able to “Own the Now” in any situation, which is why our listeners will get 500 high-quality, custom business cards starting at $9.99. Use discount code CHARM at Vistaprint.com. Resources from this Episode Frame Analysis: An Essay on the Organization of Experience Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Storytelling might seem like a skill reserved for dinner parties and family gatherings, but we actually use it in our everyday lives, many times without really knowing it - so what can you do to be more aware of when you’re using it, when you should be using it, and how not using it could be leading you to miss out on crucial opportunities for professional and personal growth? What to Listen ForHow did Laura Beil get her start in podcasting?What level of skepticism around the modern healthcare system is appropriate in today’s day and age where you can find countless horror stories throughout the internet?How can you guide people you’re interviewing to tell better stories in response to your questions?What kinds of questions can you ask someone if you want more in-depth answers or explanations?How can you improve your empathy in situations where you’re listening to someone talk about a tragic event in their life?What can you do to bring fresh energy into meetings with your storytelling skills?How do you keep a conversation interesting and lively for hours with someone you have little to nothing in common with? We use storytelling abilities in our everyday lives because we are either asking other people about themselves or vice versa. A good storyteller knows how to answer questions in a way that intrigues people and keeps them engaged in a conversation as well as ask people the right questions that get them to open up and feel comfortable talking about themselves, both of which deepen the connection between them. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Vistaprint wants you to be able to “Own the Now” in any situation, which is why our listeners will get 500 high-quality, custom business cards starting at $9.99. Use discount code CHARM at Vistaprint.com. Resources from this Episode Laura Beil’s website Dr. Death - podcast by Laura Beil Bad Batch - podcast by Laura Beil Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Many of life’s most powerful lessons come from stories of men and women living through dark and ugly periods in history - but why do we relate to these stories so strongly, what’s the best way to tell a story from your own life about adversity or a struggle you endured, and how do you know when such a story is ready to be told? What to Listen ForWhat story from history first hooked Daniele Bolleli into pursuing history?How do you remove the bias or spin from news stories in today’s digital era?What made Daniele Bolelli realize he wanted to start podcasting?How do you tell a story in a way that people actually care about the characters involved?How do you find or build in a hook when you’re trying to figure out the best way to tell a story?How do you balance the dark side of a story with the lighthearted side so neither one pushes the audience away?What can you do to add humor to dark stories in a way that doesn’t feel forced or out of place?What can you look for in a story you want to tell if you want to know if it’s ready to be told?How has Daniele Bolelli’s experience in podcasting influenced his own personal storytelling? Stories from history provide us with archetypes and allow us a glimpse into the human spirit to see what we’re capable of when faced with insurmountable odds or overwhelming tragedy. And one of the most valuable lessons we can take away from all of the stories from history is that everyone involved was human. This is important to remember because we as humans have a habit of disconnecting from people who have accomplished great things and committed great atrocities. When we’re able to identify with the person on a basic level we can be inspired to act as well as develop empathy for those whose lives lead them down dark paths. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Resources from this Episode Daniele Bolelli’s website Daniele Bolelli on Twitter History on Fire Podcast - most recent episodes available on Luminary Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Humans are storytellers by nature, so the ability to tell a great story is something we can all learn and develop over time - but where do you start if you want to become a great storyteller, what is the structure of a great story, and how do you practice if you’re not already a public speaker? What to Listen ForWhat does science tell us about why storytelling is so powerful?What can you do to be a more compelling storyteller?What steps can you follow to tell unforgettable stories?What are the 4 basic steps of storytelling and how can you apply them in everyday life to become a great storyteller?What simple game can you play with family, friends, or strangers to test and improve your storytelling ability?Why are emotions such a crucial aspect of great storytelling and what can you do to incorporate them into your stories?What is the Angel’s Cocktail and how does it make for an unforgettable story?How should you approach storytelling in a professional setting like a networking event versus a personal setting like hanging out with friends or being on a date?How do you tell an engaging story when Powerpoint is involved and what should you avoid doing at all costs?What are the key things you should pay attention to in the audience when presenting?What are the 5 layers of communication and how does knowledge of them tell you who is trustworthy and who is not?What mindset should you adopt to better handle the Q & A after a talk or presentation? Storytelling is a skill like any other, but that means to become great at it requires you to practice it - how can you become good at anything without adequate repetition? But unlike many other skills, storytelling is something you can practice every single day with anyone you talk to. Just think about something that has happened in your life, large or small, and tell the story of it through the 4 basic steps discussed in this episode. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode How to Avoid Death by Powerpoint - TEDx Talk The Magical Science of Storytelling - TEDx Talk The 110 Techniques of Communication and Public Speaking - TEDx Talk JPUniversity - David JP Phillips’s school for storytelling David JP Phillips Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Storytelling is the glue which has held humanity together over tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of years - but why are stories so important to us, what goes into creating a great story, and what can you do turn any story from your life into a great story worth telling? What to Listen ForWhy is storytelling such a valuable skill to have in personal and professional relationships?What can you do to tell engaging and compelling stories?Why is your storytelling ability important for making new friends, building a network, and dating?How does your storytelling ability make or break your performance in sales?Why do many of us focus on the wrong things when telling a story and how is it hindering you socially and professionally?Why are stories so powerful in conveying information and connecting us?How do you structure a story so you’re captivating the listeners and they can’t help but remember you?What is the Hero’s Journey and how has it been used throughout history to structure famous stories in mythology, religion, and literature?What are 8 steps can you follow to turn any story into a great story?How do you turn an average story into a great story?What are the do’s and don’ts of storytelling?What do people connect with most in stories and what puts them off?What is the “curse of knowledge” and how does it hurt your ability to tell great stories? Humans have likely been telling stories since we first stepped foot on this earth. It is one of our defining features in the animal kingdom and it is the thing that enables us to live and work together in groups, from families to communities to companies to nations.  Storytelling is indeed an art, but an art with a structure. This structure has been passed down through the ages and can be found throughout the world in various cultures, which means it can be taught and learned. If you want to create strong relationships in your personal life and professional life, then you need to become a great storyteller. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes for creators, entrepreneurs, and curious people everywhere. You can take classes in Film and Video, Marketing, Productivity, and even Entrepreneurship! Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today with a special offer just for our listeners: Get two months of Skillshare for free by going to Skillshare.com/CHARM. Equal Parts is here to help you get into the flow of home cooking, with inviting cookware and coaching designed to introduce new ideas and keep you engaged with the process of cooking, one step at a time. Get into the rhythm of the kitchen, with friendly and inviting cookware, coaching, and guidance from Equal Parts. All with free shipping and free returns. Visit equalparts.com and use discount code CHARM get $50 off any cookware kit over $200! Resources from this Episode The Art of Charm Bootcamp Cooperation and the Evolution of Hunter-Gatherer Storytelling Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Networking can seem like a daunting task for introverts, so what strengths do introverts bring to the table that extroverts do not, what value can you bring to a network if you are just starting out, and how can you utilize today’s technology to amplify your networking ability?   What to Listen ForHow can you stand out as an introvert when networking?What is one of the most effective ways to build a network in a fluid job market like Silicon Valley where almost no one stays at one company for more than a couple years?Can you be a master networker if you’re an introvert?What value can you bring to a network when you are just starting out in a new field or career?What strengths do introverts bring to networking that extroverts do not?What can you do to improve your listening skills to make you a better networker?What tools in today’s day and age should you be using to grow and maintain your network?Is email dead?What is the “loose touch” habit and how can you use it to grow and strengthen your network?What is a “third place” and why is it important for you to find yours?How do you balance creating an online brand with oversharing and putting you in a position where companies don’t want to hire you?Why is LinkedIn so pivotal to the world of networking?What questions can you ask yourself when it comes to how you present yourself on social media?How do you set networking goals before attending a conference?What questions should you be asking when meeting new people at a conference or networking event?What do you need to stop doing now when it comes to networking and keeping in touch?What should you be doing when building or growing your network online?What is the “double opt-in” and how can you use it to grow and strengthen your network?What’s the best way to reinitiate contact with people in your network you haven’t talked to in a while? Networking doesn’t have to be hard if you’re an introvert. Many people tend to think about networking and imagine being at a crowded bar or massive conference, making small talk with dozens of people and amassing business cards, phone numbers, and emails. But it doesn’t have to be that at all. Simply focus on the people you enjoy working with and share good memories with, and try to have good interactions with them. Go out for coffee every now and then, schedule a lunch, or stay in touch via email. The key is consistency. Stay in people’s lives and make an effort to connect. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Resources from this Episode Karen Wickre Taking the Work Out of Networking by Karen Wickre Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

In today’s episode, we cover networking and relationship building with Brian Dixon.

The best networkers prepare for networking events in order to get the most out of them, but how do you go about preparing for a networking event, what are the do’s and don’ts of networking, and is your first impression shooting you in the foot before you even open your mouth? What to Listen ForWhat are the do’s and don’ts of networking?How do you handle a networking event if you’re an introvert?What can you do to prepare for a networking event, and do you even need to?How can a bad (or even a neutral) first impression ruin your chances of success at a networking event and what can you do to make a fantastic first impression instead?What kind of research should you do before a networking event?How do you set yourself up for success before and/or during a networking event?How do you choose what to wear for a networking event, and what should you avoid wearing?Where should you hang out at networking events if you want to have the best chance of talking to the individuals you’re trying to meet?Why is it a mistake to make a pitch or try to close a deal when you meet someone at a networking event?What game can you play to make networking opportunities fun and productive?Why is it hurting you to think about what you can take from networking opportunities rather than what you can give?What should you do after a networking event to help you process and learn from the experience?Why is it damaging to your networking potential if you can’t explain what you do in simple terms?What should your elevator pitch attempt to accomplish and why do so many of us focus on the wrong parts?Why do most people fail when it comes to networking and what can you do to set yourself apart from them?How soon after meeting someone at a networking event should you start working on the follow-up?What is a pre-event and how can you plan a simple one to your advantage, setting you apart from most people at a networking event? Networking is like many endeavors in this world - your results depend on how much work you’re willing to put in. The best networkers prepare for every networking event by making sure their first impression is on point, they know who is going to attend and who they want to meet, they understand how to connect and pitch themselves, and most importantly, they follow up. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Resources from this Episode Episode 693: Identifying Low Value Behaviors Episode 694: Becoming High Value Episode 781: How To Grow Your Network Through Social Capital Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Introduction Networking has picked up a bad rap over the years, but what exactly is networking, how is your network different from your social circle, and how do you go about building a strong network full of great people and amazing opportunities? What to Listen ForWhat is the difference between your social circle and your network, and how can the misunderstanding of the difference lead to a loss of opportunities, both personally and professionally?What are the biggest myths surrounding networking?What is social capital and why is your familiarity with it crucial to your ability to network effectively?Why do many of us view networking as transactional, and why is that mindset detrimental to building a strong network?How important is your first impression when building a network versus building a social circle?What is the easiest area to focus on if you want to strengthen your network, and why can ignoring it have detrimental effects?Why are your casual acquaintances more likely to lead to job offers than your close friends?Is it more important to surround yourself with people just starting out, at your level, or further along than you, and why?What common viewpoint can stunt the growth of your network and lead to your network being full of toxic relationships? A strong network can lead to a healthier personal and professional life for one primary reason: a variety of backgrounds. Your network is different from your social circle (though they can overlap) because the individuals in your social circle are people you spend the most time with, and so they tend to share a similar background as you, which means they are likely to share the same perspectives and values you do. People in your network, however, likely come from a variety of backgrounds and are likely then to have different perspectives, values, and career choices. This variety helps keep you open to new ideas and perspectives but also drastically expands the number of connections you have because of the sheer number of people that those in your network have access to. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes for creators, entrepreneurs, and curious people everywhere. You can take classes in Film and Video, Marketing, Productivity, and even Entrepreneurship! Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today with a special offer just for our listeners: Get two months of Skillshare for free by going to Skillshare.com/CHARM. Equal Parts is here to help you get into the flow of home cooking, with inviting cookware and coaching designed to introduce new ideas and keep you engaged with the process of cooking, one step at a time. Get into the rhythm of the kitchen, with friendly and inviting cookware, coaching, and guidance from Equal Parts. All with free shipping and free returns. Visit equalparts.com and use discount code CHARM get $50 off any cookware kit over $200! Resources from this Episode Episode 693: Identifying Low Value Behaviors Episode 694: Becoming High Value “The Strength of Weak Ties” by Mark Granovetter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Some of the most intense and important negotiations humanity has witnessed have taken place in and around the field of battle, but how much do they have in common with the negotiations we engage in on a daily basis, what can civilians learn from how the military successfully approaches its negotiations, and what 5 strategies can you implement today in order to improve your negotiation skills? What to Listen ForWhat are the most common mistakes people make when negotiating and what can you do to avoid making them?What is the difference between negotiating to create choices and negotiating to reach an agreement, and why should you aim for one while avoiding the other at all costs?Why do most people only think about negotiations in the short term and how can that mindset cause so much damage in the long term?What are the commonalities between life or death military negotiations and negotiations in business?How do you take cultural differences into account when negotiating?What questions should you be asking yourself about the parties in a negotiation if you don’t want to screw it up?What are the 5 strategies of extreme negotiating and how can you use them in important negotiations to everyday negotiations in order to reach a desirable outcome for all parties involved? Many people tend to enter into negotiations with a short term goal in mind. We want the best deal, or the biggest win for ourselves, regardless of what it costs the other party. Think about when you buy a car - are you thinking about the person you’re buying the car from? What about when you’re negotiating a raise - are you actively trying to understand what is required of you to merit that raise and then clearly conveying to your employer what you’ve done to meet or exceed those requirements? Every negotiation we engage in has the potential to build or break relationships. If that’s the case, shouldn’t it be in your best interest to focus on building relationships with win-win outcomes versus breaking them with win-lose outcomes? A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today. Resources from this Episode Extreme Negotiations - Harvard Business Review The West Point Negotiation Project Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

In today’s episode we talk with Wil Schroter. Will is a serial entrepreneur who has started 9 companies since 1994 and sold 4 of them to date. He is currently the CEO and founder of Startups.co, the world's largest startup launch platform. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today with a special offer just for my listeners: Get two months of Skillshare for free. go to Skillshare.com/CHARM. Again, go to Skillshare.com/CHARM to start your two months now. That’s Skillshare.com/CHARM. Become a member today by going to feals.com/charm and you’ll get 50% off your first order with free shipping. That’s feals.com/charm to become a member and get 50% automatically taken off your first order with free shipping.   Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Some of the most important decisions in your life involve negotiating with someone more experienced than you, so what can you do today to make sure you are well prepared for every negotiation to come?  What to Listen ForWhat can you do to make sure you’re not shooting yourself in the foot when negotiating?What is the difference between negotiating from a place of cooperation versus position?How are you killing opportunities by negotiating with a competitive mindset and what mindset should you be negotiating with if you want to get the most out of every negotiation?What is the Harvard Negotiation Project and what can you take from it to improve your negotiation skills today?How does pressure work against you in negotiations and what can we do to handle it so it doesn’t have detrimental consequences in the long term?What 3 things are you doing to kill your chances of negotiating a raise?What 3 traits are critical to entering a negotiation that allows for a win-win for all parties involved?What is BATNA and why is your understanding of it crucial if you want to negotiate successfully?How do you develop a bulletproof approach to any negotiation?How do you gain agreement from the other party in a negotiation to decrease the chance of it falling through?When negotiating a raise, what should your first point of agreement be between you and your employer? Negotiating can be both fun and exciting for all parties involved, but it can also be uncomfortable and downright painful. Ideally, we want to avoid the latter, but many of us enter into negotiations from a position that pushes the other party away because we try to come from a place of power and strength. No one wants to be taken advantage of so that is understandable. However, the person we are negotiating with doesn’t want to feel pushed around either, and so a different kind of strength must be used when entering into a negotiation, and that strength comes from a knowledge of what you want as well as what the other person wants. When you do your research and have options, you allow the other party to negotiate with you on what they can offer you versus what you are looking for, rather than saying, “This is what I want and you must give it to me or I’m leaving.” That never ends well for anyone. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Before you go dropping hundreds of dollars on a pair, you need to check out the wireless earbuds from Raycon! Unlike some of your other wireless options, Raycon earbuds are both stylish and discreet, with no dangling wires or stems. And of course, they don’t just look great. They sound great, too. Go to BuyRaycon.com/CHARM to get 15% off your order! Clearbanc is changing the way entrepreneurs raise money with equity-free capital. They charge a small flat fee for the capital, and you pay them back using a win-win rev share. If you are doing over ten thousand a month in revenue, find out how you can receive Clearbanc capital by getting your 20-minute term sheet at clearbanc.com/CHARM. Resources from this Episode Episode 777: Negotiating: 4 Things You Must Know Harvard Negotiation Project Episode 774: The 3 Most Common Hurdles in Decision Making Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

The thought of negotiating can instill feelings of discomfort in many of us because we associate negotiating with trying to create a win for us and a loss for the person we are negotiating with, but how would that change if you had the knowledge and confidence to come up with a win-win for just about every negotiation you entered into? What to Listen ForWhere do the misconceptions surrounding negotiating come from and how can a few simple changes in perception improve your ability to negotiate?What is Prospect Theory and how does it cause you to miss out on great opportunities?What is Positional Bargaining?How are Positional Bargaining and Anchoring connected and how can the connection lead youWhy will we work harder NOT to lose $100 than we will to earn an extra $100?How can you start improving your negotiating ability today?What is the Harvard Negotiation Project and how can you use your understanding of it to create more win-win negotiations?What are the 4 elements of a negotiation we should look at in order to create a win-win outcome for both parties?What are the boundary conditions of a negotation and how can being aware of them prevent you from losing out on great long term negotiation wins?How does focusing on interests rather than bargaining positions lead to a win-win in negotiations? We often feel uncomfortable with negotiating a better deal for ourselves because we believe a better deal for us means a worse deal for the other person. That belief, however, comes from focusing on each person’s bargaining positions rather than our interests. You can do this by focusing on the other person’s interests and what you can offer them that is of little value to you but could be of great value to them. This way you are able to negotiate a win for yourself now while making the immediate loss for the other person worthwhile because of what you can offer that person in another capacity. For example, if you negotiate a discount on a computer repair by offering to write the business owner a great review and tell your friends about them, you are making that discount a win for you and the business owner. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Need a stylish, lightweight, and durable suitcase with a 100-day money-back guarantee? Away creates thoughtful products designed to change how you see the world. For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com and use discount promo code CHARM20 during checkout! MyBookie is THE place to bet on football every weekend - they have live, in-game betting on every NFL game. They’ve got the most rewarding player perks in the business and for you fantasy guys out there, you can even bet the over/under on how many fantasy points a player will score each game. Go to MyBookie.ag and double your first deposit using promo code CHARM to activate the offer. Resources from this Episode Episode 774: The 3 Most Common Hurdles in Decision Making, And How to Avoid Them Episode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and Regret Episode 694: Becoming High Value  Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Finding your voice as an individual is vital to realizing your potential and building a life that allows you to be the best version of yourself, but what does it mean to find your voice, what steps can you take today to discover it, and why will most people die before ever finding their voice? What to Listen ForHow do you define a successful networking event and what can you do to make your next networking event a success?Why is it important to discover your voice and use it to express your thoughts on a regular basis?What can you do to find your voice in a world where most people die without ever finding theirs?How do you deal with the blowback that comes from voicing your opinions and beliefs that some people inevitably won’t agree with?What hurdles do women face in social situations inside and outside of work and what can you do as a woman to overcome those hurdles so you don’t miss out on countless opportunities?How do you handle the gender dynamic as a woman in a leadership/management position when you want to command respect and authority? The more comfortable you become with who you really are and what you believe, the more likely you are to ruffle feathers and offend people. As your work on realizing your potential, your focus should not be on making sure as many people as possible like you or even agree with your ideas. Your focus should be on nourishing the relationships with those around you who value you as an individual for being who you are and standing firm in your beliefs and values. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! MyBookie is THE place to bet on football every weekend - they have live, in-game betting on every NFL game. They’ve got the most rewarding player perks in the business and for you fantasy guys out there, you can even bet the over/under on how many fantasy points a player will score each game. Go to MyBookie.ag and double your first deposit using promo code CHARM to activate the offer. Resources from this Episode 773: Eric Weinstein Meets The Art Of Charm Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

The narratives we create for ourselves influence everything from life-changing decisions down to what we eat and how we spend our free time, but what exactly is a narrative and how do you go about creating a positive one that pulls you in the direction you want to go in life? What to Listen ForHow do you justify a career change if you already have the “perfect” job?What is the one thing you take with you every time you leave a job for a new one, and how can you use that to minimize the regret you might feel for leaving a great job?What is a narrative and why are they so influential when it comes to how we think and make decisions?If you feel you are overanalytical, how do you use it as a strength while making sure it doesn’t cripple you in social situations?What can you do to make networking an enjoyable process rather than something you feel like you have to do in order to grow professionally?How do you become more likable as a coworker?Why is likability more important than hard skills when it comes to being promoted in the workplace?What can you do to increase your value if you feel hindered in the dating pool by a disability?What does it mean to hang on to gifts and memorabilia from past relationships and what does it mean to get rid of them?Can you ever truly stop comparing yourself to others or is it human nature? You are what you eat - everything you put in your body either makes you healthier or sicker. The same can be said for your narrative - everything you do either strengthens your narrative or weakens it. For example, if you believe you are not worthy of a promotion at work, you will make decisions every day which strengthen that narrative. However, if you wake up one day and make the choice to believe you are worthy of a promotion, then you can take conscious action to reinforce that narrative by developing positive relationships with your coworkers and supervisors as well as making sure your supervisors know you’re getting the results which make you worthy of the promotion.  Over time your belief in yourself will override the narrative that was holding you back and the new positive, healthier narrative will take its place. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Feals is Premium CBD delivered directly to your doorstep. Feals naturally helps reduce stress, anxiety, pain, and sleeplessness. New to CBD? Feals offers a free CBD hotline and text message support to help guide your personal experience. Become a member today by going to Feals.com/CHARM and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping. Resources from this Episode Episode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and Regret Episode 766: Michael Herold on Facing the Impossible and Beating it Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

We make decisions throughout every single day of our lives, but only a certain type of decision can lead to regret later on, so how can you identify those decisions before you make them, what can you do to minimize or eliminate any regret they may cause, and what can you do to become a better decision-maker? What to Listen ForWhy are some decisions harder than others and how do those decisions make for good self-development?Why do we feel regret and how can we turn it around to use it as a motivator for action?What is opportunity cost, how does it affect our decision-making ability, and how can we eliminate it?What can you do when you find yourself being indecisive without anyone to turn to for help?If you’re an indecisive person, what one thing can you look at in order to better understand the decisions you should make in the future?What is decision fatigue and what can you do to avoid it so it doesn’t lead you to make the wrong decision with long-lasting consequences?What kinds of decisions lead to regret and what kinds do not, and why?Why is attaching a deadline to a decision so helpful in developing good decision-making habits?Why are we wired for indecision and what simple technique can we do to overcome that biological programming?What is the psychological immune system and how does it work in your favor when it comes to how you regret certain types of decisions?Why does a focus on the outcome (of a decision) versus the process (of making that decision) lead to more regret in life?What are the three hidden pitfalls of striving for ideal outcomes? Life is full of decisions, big and small and everything in between, and the ability to make those decisions is a skill just like any other, which means it can be learned, practiced, and improved upon, but it also means it can atrophy if you are indecisive too often and for too long. Indecisiveness is not a desirable trait - it shows people you are not confident in the path you’re walking through in life and you don’t value your time, because for every decision you don’t make, you are wasting time, the most precious resource any of us has because it’s the only one you can’t get more of. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Did you know your teeth move as you get older? Candid - the clear alternative to braces - costs 65% less than braces! Candid has an orthodontist licensed in your state create a treatment plan for you (and Candid only uses experienced orthodontists). You can save thousands of dollars and have straighter, brighter teeth in an average of just six months! Learn more at CandidCo.com/CHARM and use discount code CHARM to get $75 off! Before you go dropping hundreds of dollars on a pair, you need to check out the wireless earbuds from Raycon! Unlike some of your other wireless options, Raycon earbuds are both stylish and discreet, with no dangling wires or stems. And of course, they don’t just look great. They sound great, too. Go to BuyRaycon.com/CHARM to get 15% off your order! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today. Resources from this Episode Episode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and Regret Episode 773: Eric Weinstein Meets The Art Of Charm. Part 1 (Why we need The Portal) Episode 704: The Bad House Guest: Cognitive Distortions Episode 700: The Myth of Perfectionism Episode 754: Steven Hayes on Why Craving Pain is Human Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Technology has an increasing influence on our lives, but did you know even small concentrated doses, such as working all day on a computer (aka a “tech coma”), can have a significant impact on your ability to interact with other people in healthy? What to Listen ForWhat is Eric Weinstein trying to do with his new podcast and why should you listen to it?What does the world of professional wrestling know about psychology that most psychology professors and researchers don’t?What is the Intellectual Dark Web (IDW) and what can you learn from about how to have a constructive conversation with people you disagree with?How do you break through disinformation when you’re constantly surrounded by “fake news”?How do you draw a boundary with your personal life if you have a life in the public eye?How is immigration being used to transfer wealth from one group to another and why should we restrict it?How do you take a platform’s algorithm into account when deciding where to get your news and information?How can you become a critical consumer of information in an era driven by narratives and algorithms?Are you defenseless in today’s day and age of corporations tasking incredibly smart individuals to do just about anything to get your attention, even if it means complete fabrication of events?How do you approach conversations when you know you’re going to disagree with the other person?What is bad diversity and how does it distract us from having otherwise constructive conversations?What is a tech coma, how do you know if you are in one, and how does it cause atrophy of your social muscles?How can perfectionism hurt the pursuit of your goals and what can you do if you feel you are a perfectionist? As technology continues to permeate our everyday existence, it can be easy to let slip the skills that really matter when it comes to living healthy and happy lives. Humans are social creatures, and we rely on social interaction to bring us some of the most meaningful experiences and emotions while we’re alive. Unfortunately, with the way we have developed various technological systems, we are building walls between each of us while claiming the screens on those walls make us more connected than ever.  A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Clearbanc is changing the way entrepreneurs raise money with equity-free capital. They charge a small flat fee for the capital, and you pay them back using a win-win rev share. If you are doing over ten thousand a month in revenue, find out how you can receive Clearbanc capital by getting your 20-minute term sheet at clearbanc.com/CHARM. Resources from this Episode The Portal - a podcast by Eric Weinstein Eric Weinstein on Twitter Eric Weinstein on YouTube News Diffs - Tracking Online News Over Time Episode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and Regret Save the Cat! The Last Book on Screenwriting You’ll Ever Need Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

The harder a decision seems to be for people, the less likely it is that we will spend enough time researching it in order to determine what to do - but why is that, how should we handle the component of time when it comes to waiting to make decisions, and what can you do to eliminate the fear of regret in your life? What to Listen ForWhy do we spend a lot of time researching insignificant decisions and little time researching significant decisions?How can you approach life-changing decisions from a neutral point of view so you can make the decision for the right reasons?How do does action versus inaction affect our likelihood to regret a certain event and how can you change your perspective in order to eliminate regret?How do we take time into account when deciding how much time to spend researching minor and major decisions?What are the three types of decisions and how can your awareness of each one help you to avoid wasting valuable timeWhat is anchoring and how does it affect our decision making as we make decisions that build on one another and how can your awareness of it prevent you from falling into an unhealthy trap?What are market norms and social norms and how do they affect your willingness to oblige someone’s request for help?How do market norms reduce the trust between people and turn relationships into economic transactions? We make decisions that affect our lives every single day. Some decisions are small, some are big, and some are repeated on a regular basis. Unfortunately, we only have so much time to think about these decisions so it can save us a lot of time if we at least understand how to approach each one. Small decisions, like what movie theater to go to or what appetizer to get, should take the least amount of our time since they impact our lives the least, and our time is better spent being present or contemplating more important decisions. Big decisions, like where to live or who to marry, should necessitate more time as they will have lasting effects on our lives. And lastly, decisions that are made regularly, like your morning routine or what to eat each day, should be automated as much as possible to reduce the drain on your willpower so that it can be used for resource-intensive tasks like work, or studying, or solving complex problems in your life. We only have so much time to live - don’t waste it on unimportant issues in your life. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Lumen5 is empowering everyone with the ability to create short-form videos in a matter of minutes. You can transform an article, blog post, or text message into a video. Enter your text and the Lumen5 A.I. will help you summarize your content, and automatically match it with videos and photos. Right now Lumen Five has a special offer just for you! Go to lumen5.com/charm and you’ll get 50 percent off your first month. Resources from this Episode Dan Ariely Dan Ariely on Facebook Dan Ariely on Twitter Dan’s podcast Arming the Donkeys Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely The Upside of Irrationality by Dan Ariely The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty by Dan Ariely Amazing Decisions by Dan Ariely The Art of Charm Bootcamp in Vienna Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Most of us will never undergo professional training in the world of improve and yet we engage in improv almost every day because life is improv - so why should you consider taking an improv class, how does improv relate to self-development, and how can an improv mindset help you to relax in social situations? What to Listen ForHow do you compete in a place like Hollywood with people who claim to be or do things that they don’t even do?How should you approach a conversation with someone you look up to when meeting for the first time and why is it such a bad idea to be a fanboy/girl in such a situation?What should your mindset be when first meeting someone and what mindset will likely lead to an undesirable outcome?What is the value in learning improv and how does it relate to your path of self-development?Why is it counterproductive to try to be funny in improv?What signs of codependency can you look for early on in a relationship and what can you do to course correct at that point?How can a relationship become codependent and what can you do to prevent it?How do you make people want to be around you or simply notice you?What can you do to make a great first impression?How can you fix a bad first impression?What can you do to be confident without coming across as arrogant?How do you attract people who want the same things you want out of a fling or relationship? Improvisational comedy (aka “improv”) is all about going with the flow, and when it comes to life, it is much easier to use the flow of a river to your advantage rather than trying to swim upstream or control the path of the river itself. And this idea applies directly to the conversations we have with people, especially when first meeting someone. Many of you will want to control the direction of a conversation and make sure you are able to highlight the good things about you and what you’ve done, rather than listen to what the other person says and allow the conversation to flow naturally by asking sincere questions and relating to what they’re saying without domineering the discussion itself. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off. Resources from this Episode Episode 770: Leon Logothetis: Traveling the world relying on kindness Episode 767: How to Master Communication in a Relationship Episode 744: Dating Done Right with Evan Marc Katz Episode 705: Don’t Try to Be Funny - The Art of Improv Erin Muroski Erin Muroski on Facebook Erin Muroski on Twitter Erin Muroski on Instagram Final Rose Material - Erin’s podcast Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube