The Art of Charm
AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak

The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.

In today’s episode, we cover networking and relationship building with Brian Dixon.

The best networkers prepare for networking events in order to get the most out of them, but how do you go about preparing for a networking event, what are the do’s and don’ts of networking, and is your first impression shooting you in the foot before you even open your mouth? What to Listen ForWhat are the do’s and don’ts of networking?How do you handle a networking event if you’re an introvert?What can you do to prepare for a networking event, and do you even need to?How can a bad (or even a neutral) first impression ruin your chances of success at a networking event and what can you do to make a fantastic first impression instead?What kind of research should you do before a networking event?How do you set yourself up for success before and/or during a networking event?How do you choose what to wear for a networking event, and what should you avoid wearing?Where should you hang out at networking events if you want to have the best chance of talking to the individuals you’re trying to meet?Why is it a mistake to make a pitch or try to close a deal when you meet someone at a networking event?What game can you play to make networking opportunities fun and productive?Why is it hurting you to think about what you can take from networking opportunities rather than what you can give?What should you do after a networking event to help you process and learn from the experience?Why is it damaging to your networking potential if you can’t explain what you do in simple terms?What should your elevator pitch attempt to accomplish and why do so many of us focus on the wrong parts?Why do most people fail when it comes to networking and what can you do to set yourself apart from them?How soon after meeting someone at a networking event should you start working on the follow-up?What is a pre-event and how can you plan a simple one to your advantage, setting you apart from most people at a networking event? Networking is like many endeavors in this world - your results depend on how much work you’re willing to put in. The best networkers prepare for every networking event by making sure their first impression is on point, they know who is going to attend and who they want to meet, they understand how to connect and pitch themselves, and most importantly, they follow up. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Resources from this Episode Episode 693: Identifying Low Value Behaviors Episode 694: Becoming High Value Episode 781: How To Grow Your Network Through Social Capital Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Introduction Networking has picked up a bad rap over the years, but what exactly is networking, how is your network different from your social circle, and how do you go about building a strong network full of great people and amazing opportunities? What to Listen ForWhat is the difference between your social circle and your network, and how can the misunderstanding of the difference lead to a loss of opportunities, both personally and professionally?What are the biggest myths surrounding networking?What is social capital and why is your familiarity with it crucial to your ability to network effectively?Why do many of us view networking as transactional, and why is that mindset detrimental to building a strong network?How important is your first impression when building a network versus building a social circle?What is the easiest area to focus on if you want to strengthen your network, and why can ignoring it have detrimental effects?Why are your casual acquaintances more likely to lead to job offers than your close friends?Is it more important to surround yourself with people just starting out, at your level, or further along than you, and why?What common viewpoint can stunt the growth of your network and lead to your network being full of toxic relationships? A strong network can lead to a healthier personal and professional life for one primary reason: a variety of backgrounds. Your network is different from your social circle (though they can overlap) because the individuals in your social circle are people you spend the most time with, and so they tend to share a similar background as you, which means they are likely to share the same perspectives and values you do. People in your network, however, likely come from a variety of backgrounds and are likely then to have different perspectives, values, and career choices. This variety helps keep you open to new ideas and perspectives but also drastically expands the number of connections you have because of the sheer number of people that those in your network have access to. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes for creators, entrepreneurs, and curious people everywhere. You can take classes in Film and Video, Marketing, Productivity, and even Entrepreneurship! Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today with a special offer just for our listeners: Get two months of Skillshare for free by going to Skillshare.com/CHARM. Equal Parts is here to help you get into the flow of home cooking, with inviting cookware and coaching designed to introduce new ideas and keep you engaged with the process of cooking, one step at a time. Get into the rhythm of the kitchen, with friendly and inviting cookware, coaching, and guidance from Equal Parts. All with free shipping and free returns. Visit equalparts.com and use discount code CHARM get $50 off any cookware kit over $200! Resources from this Episode Episode 693: Identifying Low Value Behaviors Episode 694: Becoming High Value “The Strength of Weak Ties” by Mark Granovetter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Some of the most intense and important negotiations humanity has witnessed have taken place in and around the field of battle, but how much do they have in common with the negotiations we engage in on a daily basis, what can civilians learn from how the military successfully approaches its negotiations, and what 5 strategies can you implement today in order to improve your negotiation skills? What to Listen ForWhat are the most common mistakes people make when negotiating and what can you do to avoid making them?What is the difference between negotiating to create choices and negotiating to reach an agreement, and why should you aim for one while avoiding the other at all costs?Why do most people only think about negotiations in the short term and how can that mindset cause so much damage in the long term?What are the commonalities between life or death military negotiations and negotiations in business?How do you take cultural differences into account when negotiating?What questions should you be asking yourself about the parties in a negotiation if you don’t want to screw it up?What are the 5 strategies of extreme negotiating and how can you use them in important negotiations to everyday negotiations in order to reach a desirable outcome for all parties involved? Many people tend to enter into negotiations with a short term goal in mind. We want the best deal, or the biggest win for ourselves, regardless of what it costs the other party. Think about when you buy a car - are you thinking about the person you’re buying the car from? What about when you’re negotiating a raise - are you actively trying to understand what is required of you to merit that raise and then clearly conveying to your employer what you’ve done to meet or exceed those requirements? Every negotiation we engage in has the potential to build or break relationships. If that’s the case, shouldn’t it be in your best interest to focus on building relationships with win-win outcomes versus breaking them with win-lose outcomes? A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today. Resources from this Episode Extreme Negotiations - Harvard Business Review The West Point Negotiation Project Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

In today’s episode we talk with Wil Schroter. Will is a serial entrepreneur who has started 9 companies since 1994 and sold 4 of them to date. He is currently the CEO and founder of Startups.co, the world's largest startup launch platform. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today with a special offer just for my listeners: Get two months of Skillshare for free. go to Skillshare.com/CHARM. Again, go to Skillshare.com/CHARM to start your two months now. That’s Skillshare.com/CHARM. Become a member today by going to feals.com/charm and you’ll get 50% off your first order with free shipping. That’s feals.com/charm to become a member and get 50% automatically taken off your first order with free shipping.   Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Some of the most important decisions in your life involve negotiating with someone more experienced than you, so what can you do today to make sure you are well prepared for every negotiation to come?  What to Listen ForWhat can you do to make sure you’re not shooting yourself in the foot when negotiating?What is the difference between negotiating from a place of cooperation versus position?How are you killing opportunities by negotiating with a competitive mindset and what mindset should you be negotiating with if you want to get the most out of every negotiation?What is the Harvard Negotiation Project and what can you take from it to improve your negotiation skills today?How does pressure work against you in negotiations and what can we do to handle it so it doesn’t have detrimental consequences in the long term?What 3 things are you doing to kill your chances of negotiating a raise?What 3 traits are critical to entering a negotiation that allows for a win-win for all parties involved?What is BATNA and why is your understanding of it crucial if you want to negotiate successfully?How do you develop a bulletproof approach to any negotiation?How do you gain agreement from the other party in a negotiation to decrease the chance of it falling through?When negotiating a raise, what should your first point of agreement be between you and your employer? Negotiating can be both fun and exciting for all parties involved, but it can also be uncomfortable and downright painful. Ideally, we want to avoid the latter, but many of us enter into negotiations from a position that pushes the other party away because we try to come from a place of power and strength. No one wants to be taken advantage of so that is understandable. However, the person we are negotiating with doesn’t want to feel pushed around either, and so a different kind of strength must be used when entering into a negotiation, and that strength comes from a knowledge of what you want as well as what the other person wants. When you do your research and have options, you allow the other party to negotiate with you on what they can offer you versus what you are looking for, rather than saying, “This is what I want and you must give it to me or I’m leaving.” That never ends well for anyone. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Before you go dropping hundreds of dollars on a pair, you need to check out the wireless earbuds from Raycon! Unlike some of your other wireless options, Raycon earbuds are both stylish and discreet, with no dangling wires or stems. And of course, they don’t just look great. They sound great, too. Go to BuyRaycon.com/CHARM to get 15% off your order! Clearbanc is changing the way entrepreneurs raise money with equity-free capital. They charge a small flat fee for the capital, and you pay them back using a win-win rev share. If you are doing over ten thousand a month in revenue, find out how you can receive Clearbanc capital by getting your 20-minute term sheet at clearbanc.com/CHARM. Resources from this Episode Episode 777: Negotiating: 4 Things You Must Know Harvard Negotiation Project Episode 774: The 3 Most Common Hurdles in Decision Making Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

The thought of negotiating can instill feelings of discomfort in many of us because we associate negotiating with trying to create a win for us and a loss for the person we are negotiating with, but how would that change if you had the knowledge and confidence to come up with a win-win for just about every negotiation you entered into? What to Listen ForWhere do the misconceptions surrounding negotiating come from and how can a few simple changes in perception improve your ability to negotiate?What is Prospect Theory and how does it cause you to miss out on great opportunities?What is Positional Bargaining?How are Positional Bargaining and Anchoring connected and how can the connection lead youWhy will we work harder NOT to lose $100 than we will to earn an extra $100?How can you start improving your negotiating ability today?What is the Harvard Negotiation Project and how can you use your understanding of it to create more win-win negotiations?What are the 4 elements of a negotiation we should look at in order to create a win-win outcome for both parties?What are the boundary conditions of a negotation and how can being aware of them prevent you from losing out on great long term negotiation wins?How does focusing on interests rather than bargaining positions lead to a win-win in negotiations? We often feel uncomfortable with negotiating a better deal for ourselves because we believe a better deal for us means a worse deal for the other person. That belief, however, comes from focusing on each person’s bargaining positions rather than our interests. You can do this by focusing on the other person’s interests and what you can offer them that is of little value to you but could be of great value to them. This way you are able to negotiate a win for yourself now while making the immediate loss for the other person worthwhile because of what you can offer that person in another capacity. For example, if you negotiate a discount on a computer repair by offering to write the business owner a great review and tell your friends about them, you are making that discount a win for you and the business owner. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Need a stylish, lightweight, and durable suitcase with a 100-day money-back guarantee? Away creates thoughtful products designed to change how you see the world. For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com and use discount promo code CHARM20 during checkout! MyBookie is THE place to bet on football every weekend - they have live, in-game betting on every NFL game. They’ve got the most rewarding player perks in the business and for you fantasy guys out there, you can even bet the over/under on how many fantasy points a player will score each game. Go to MyBookie.ag and double your first deposit using promo code CHARM to activate the offer. Resources from this Episode Episode 774: The 3 Most Common Hurdles in Decision Making, And How to Avoid Them Episode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and Regret Episode 694: Becoming High Value  Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Finding your voice as an individual is vital to realizing your potential and building a life that allows you to be the best version of yourself, but what does it mean to find your voice, what steps can you take today to discover it, and why will most people die before ever finding their voice? What to Listen ForHow do you define a successful networking event and what can you do to make your next networking event a success?Why is it important to discover your voice and use it to express your thoughts on a regular basis?What can you do to find your voice in a world where most people die without ever finding theirs?How do you deal with the blowback that comes from voicing your opinions and beliefs that some people inevitably won’t agree with?What hurdles do women face in social situations inside and outside of work and what can you do as a woman to overcome those hurdles so you don’t miss out on countless opportunities?How do you handle the gender dynamic as a woman in a leadership/management position when you want to command respect and authority? The more comfortable you become with who you really are and what you believe, the more likely you are to ruffle feathers and offend people. As your work on realizing your potential, your focus should not be on making sure as many people as possible like you or even agree with your ideas. Your focus should be on nourishing the relationships with those around you who value you as an individual for being who you are and standing firm in your beliefs and values. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! MyBookie is THE place to bet on football every weekend - they have live, in-game betting on every NFL game. They’ve got the most rewarding player perks in the business and for you fantasy guys out there, you can even bet the over/under on how many fantasy points a player will score each game. Go to MyBookie.ag and double your first deposit using promo code CHARM to activate the offer. Resources from this Episode 773: Eric Weinstein Meets The Art Of Charm Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

The narratives we create for ourselves influence everything from life-changing decisions down to what we eat and how we spend our free time, but what exactly is a narrative and how do you go about creating a positive one that pulls you in the direction you want to go in life? What to Listen ForHow do you justify a career change if you already have the “perfect” job?What is the one thing you take with you every time you leave a job for a new one, and how can you use that to minimize the regret you might feel for leaving a great job?What is a narrative and why are they so influential when it comes to how we think and make decisions?If you feel you are overanalytical, how do you use it as a strength while making sure it doesn’t cripple you in social situations?What can you do to make networking an enjoyable process rather than something you feel like you have to do in order to grow professionally?How do you become more likable as a coworker?Why is likability more important than hard skills when it comes to being promoted in the workplace?What can you do to increase your value if you feel hindered in the dating pool by a disability?What does it mean to hang on to gifts and memorabilia from past relationships and what does it mean to get rid of them?Can you ever truly stop comparing yourself to others or is it human nature? You are what you eat - everything you put in your body either makes you healthier or sicker. The same can be said for your narrative - everything you do either strengthens your narrative or weakens it. For example, if you believe you are not worthy of a promotion at work, you will make decisions every day which strengthen that narrative. However, if you wake up one day and make the choice to believe you are worthy of a promotion, then you can take conscious action to reinforce that narrative by developing positive relationships with your coworkers and supervisors as well as making sure your supervisors know you’re getting the results which make you worthy of the promotion.  Over time your belief in yourself will override the narrative that was holding you back and the new positive, healthier narrative will take its place. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Feals is Premium CBD delivered directly to your doorstep. Feals naturally helps reduce stress, anxiety, pain, and sleeplessness. New to CBD? Feals offers a free CBD hotline and text message support to help guide your personal experience. Become a member today by going to Feals.com/CHARM and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping. Resources from this Episode Episode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and Regret Episode 766: Michael Herold on Facing the Impossible and Beating it Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

We make decisions throughout every single day of our lives, but only a certain type of decision can lead to regret later on, so how can you identify those decisions before you make them, what can you do to minimize or eliminate any regret they may cause, and what can you do to become a better decision-maker? What to Listen ForWhy are some decisions harder than others and how do those decisions make for good self-development?Why do we feel regret and how can we turn it around to use it as a motivator for action?What is opportunity cost, how does it affect our decision-making ability, and how can we eliminate it?What can you do when you find yourself being indecisive without anyone to turn to for help?If you’re an indecisive person, what one thing can you look at in order to better understand the decisions you should make in the future?What is decision fatigue and what can you do to avoid it so it doesn’t lead you to make the wrong decision with long-lasting consequences?What kinds of decisions lead to regret and what kinds do not, and why?Why is attaching a deadline to a decision so helpful in developing good decision-making habits?Why are we wired for indecision and what simple technique can we do to overcome that biological programming?What is the psychological immune system and how does it work in your favor when it comes to how you regret certain types of decisions?Why does a focus on the outcome (of a decision) versus the process (of making that decision) lead to more regret in life?What are the three hidden pitfalls of striving for ideal outcomes? Life is full of decisions, big and small and everything in between, and the ability to make those decisions is a skill just like any other, which means it can be learned, practiced, and improved upon, but it also means it can atrophy if you are indecisive too often and for too long. Indecisiveness is not a desirable trait - it shows people you are not confident in the path you’re walking through in life and you don’t value your time, because for every decision you don’t make, you are wasting time, the most precious resource any of us has because it’s the only one you can’t get more of. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Did you know your teeth move as you get older? Candid - the clear alternative to braces - costs 65% less than braces! Candid has an orthodontist licensed in your state create a treatment plan for you (and Candid only uses experienced orthodontists). You can save thousands of dollars and have straighter, brighter teeth in an average of just six months! Learn more at CandidCo.com/CHARM and use discount code CHARM to get $75 off! Before you go dropping hundreds of dollars on a pair, you need to check out the wireless earbuds from Raycon! Unlike some of your other wireless options, Raycon earbuds are both stylish and discreet, with no dangling wires or stems. And of course, they don’t just look great. They sound great, too. Go to BuyRaycon.com/CHARM to get 15% off your order! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today. Resources from this Episode Episode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and Regret Episode 773: Eric Weinstein Meets The Art Of Charm. Part 1 (Why we need The Portal) Episode 704: The Bad House Guest: Cognitive Distortions Episode 700: The Myth of Perfectionism Episode 754: Steven Hayes on Why Craving Pain is Human Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Technology has an increasing influence on our lives, but did you know even small concentrated doses, such as working all day on a computer (aka a “tech coma”), can have a significant impact on your ability to interact with other people in healthy? What to Listen ForWhat is Eric Weinstein trying to do with his new podcast and why should you listen to it?What does the world of professional wrestling know about psychology that most psychology professors and researchers don’t?What is the Intellectual Dark Web (IDW) and what can you learn from about how to have a constructive conversation with people you disagree with?How do you break through disinformation when you’re constantly surrounded by “fake news”?How do you draw a boundary with your personal life if you have a life in the public eye?How is immigration being used to transfer wealth from one group to another and why should we restrict it?How do you take a platform’s algorithm into account when deciding where to get your news and information?How can you become a critical consumer of information in an era driven by narratives and algorithms?Are you defenseless in today’s day and age of corporations tasking incredibly smart individuals to do just about anything to get your attention, even if it means complete fabrication of events?How do you approach conversations when you know you’re going to disagree with the other person?What is bad diversity and how does it distract us from having otherwise constructive conversations?What is a tech coma, how do you know if you are in one, and how does it cause atrophy of your social muscles?How can perfectionism hurt the pursuit of your goals and what can you do if you feel you are a perfectionist? As technology continues to permeate our everyday existence, it can be easy to let slip the skills that really matter when it comes to living healthy and happy lives. Humans are social creatures, and we rely on social interaction to bring us some of the most meaningful experiences and emotions while we’re alive. Unfortunately, with the way we have developed various technological systems, we are building walls between each of us while claiming the screens on those walls make us more connected than ever.  A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Clearbanc is changing the way entrepreneurs raise money with equity-free capital. They charge a small flat fee for the capital, and you pay them back using a win-win rev share. If you are doing over ten thousand a month in revenue, find out how you can receive Clearbanc capital by getting your 20-minute term sheet at clearbanc.com/CHARM. Resources from this Episode The Portal - a podcast by Eric Weinstein Eric Weinstein on Twitter Eric Weinstein on YouTube News Diffs - Tracking Online News Over Time Episode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and Regret Save the Cat! The Last Book on Screenwriting You’ll Ever Need Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

The harder a decision seems to be for people, the less likely it is that we will spend enough time researching it in order to determine what to do - but why is that, how should we handle the component of time when it comes to waiting to make decisions, and what can you do to eliminate the fear of regret in your life? What to Listen ForWhy do we spend a lot of time researching insignificant decisions and little time researching significant decisions?How can you approach life-changing decisions from a neutral point of view so you can make the decision for the right reasons?How do does action versus inaction affect our likelihood to regret a certain event and how can you change your perspective in order to eliminate regret?How do we take time into account when deciding how much time to spend researching minor and major decisions?What are the three types of decisions and how can your awareness of each one help you to avoid wasting valuable timeWhat is anchoring and how does it affect our decision making as we make decisions that build on one another and how can your awareness of it prevent you from falling into an unhealthy trap?What are market norms and social norms and how do they affect your willingness to oblige someone’s request for help?How do market norms reduce the trust between people and turn relationships into economic transactions? We make decisions that affect our lives every single day. Some decisions are small, some are big, and some are repeated on a regular basis. Unfortunately, we only have so much time to think about these decisions so it can save us a lot of time if we at least understand how to approach each one. Small decisions, like what movie theater to go to or what appetizer to get, should take the least amount of our time since they impact our lives the least, and our time is better spent being present or contemplating more important decisions. Big decisions, like where to live or who to marry, should necessitate more time as they will have lasting effects on our lives. And lastly, decisions that are made regularly, like your morning routine or what to eat each day, should be automated as much as possible to reduce the drain on your willpower so that it can be used for resource-intensive tasks like work, or studying, or solving complex problems in your life. We only have so much time to live - don’t waste it on unimportant issues in your life. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Lumen5 is empowering everyone with the ability to create short-form videos in a matter of minutes. You can transform an article, blog post, or text message into a video. Enter your text and the Lumen5 A.I. will help you summarize your content, and automatically match it with videos and photos. Right now Lumen Five has a special offer just for you! Go to lumen5.com/charm and you’ll get 50 percent off your first month. Resources from this Episode Dan Ariely Dan Ariely on Facebook Dan Ariely on Twitter Dan’s podcast Arming the Donkeys Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely The Upside of Irrationality by Dan Ariely The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty by Dan Ariely Amazing Decisions by Dan Ariely The Art of Charm Bootcamp in Vienna Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Most of us will never undergo professional training in the world of improve and yet we engage in improv almost every day because life is improv - so why should you consider taking an improv class, how does improv relate to self-development, and how can an improv mindset help you to relax in social situations? What to Listen ForHow do you compete in a place like Hollywood with people who claim to be or do things that they don’t even do?How should you approach a conversation with someone you look up to when meeting for the first time and why is it such a bad idea to be a fanboy/girl in such a situation?What should your mindset be when first meeting someone and what mindset will likely lead to an undesirable outcome?What is the value in learning improv and how does it relate to your path of self-development?Why is it counterproductive to try to be funny in improv?What signs of codependency can you look for early on in a relationship and what can you do to course correct at that point?How can a relationship become codependent and what can you do to prevent it?How do you make people want to be around you or simply notice you?What can you do to make a great first impression?How can you fix a bad first impression?What can you do to be confident without coming across as arrogant?How do you attract people who want the same things you want out of a fling or relationship? Improvisational comedy (aka “improv”) is all about going with the flow, and when it comes to life, it is much easier to use the flow of a river to your advantage rather than trying to swim upstream or control the path of the river itself. And this idea applies directly to the conversations we have with people, especially when first meeting someone. Many of you will want to control the direction of a conversation and make sure you are able to highlight the good things about you and what you’ve done, rather than listen to what the other person says and allow the conversation to flow naturally by asking sincere questions and relating to what they’re saying without domineering the discussion itself. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off. Resources from this Episode Episode 770: Leon Logothetis: Traveling the world relying on kindness Episode 767: How to Master Communication in a Relationship Episode 744: Dating Done Right with Evan Marc Katz Episode 705: Don’t Try to Be Funny - The Art of Improv Erin Muroski Erin Muroski on Facebook Erin Muroski on Twitter Erin Muroski on Instagram Final Rose Material - Erin’s podcast Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Kindness costs you nothing but can change someone’s life forever, even your own - but how do we even define kindness, what does it mean to be genuinely kind, and how can a simple act of kindness have such lasting effects on the people around us? What to Listen ForHow do you deal with possible regrets when you make major life-changing decisions?What is the Kindness Diaries and what inspired Leon Logothetis to start his quest for kindness?How do you deal with the pushback that comes from close friends and family when you decide to leave a stable job to pursue your dreams?What was it like for Leon Logothetis to approach a stranger for the first time and how has his approach evolved over time?How can you use body language to allow strangers to feel comfortable talking to you when approaching them in the middle of the day?How does Leon Logothetis choose who he’s going to approach and who he wants to avoid?Are kindness and generosity universal or does it vary by culture?What was Leon Logothetis’s favorite life-changing moment from the show and what did it teach him?How does Leon Logothetis define kindness and what advice does he have for those of us struggling to be kinder in our day to day lives?How can you work on being kind if you’ve been taken advantage of in the past?How can you be kind and strong at the same time so you don’t get taken advantage of? As Leon Logothetis put it, “Kindness is helping someone else feel less alone.” Loneliness is a feeling we can all relate to, as we have all felt it at one time or another, and many of us feel it regularly in a world where people are feeling increasingly isolated and disconnected from one another and their communities. Kindness can help to rectify that, even if it means one small act of kindness each day.  A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Before you go dropping hundreds of dollars on a pair, you need to check out the wireless earbuds from Raycon! Unlike some of your other wireless options, Raycon earbuds are both stylish and discreet, with no dangling wires or stems. And of course, they don’t just look great. They sound great, too. Go to BuyRaycon.com/CHARM to get 15% off your order! Did you know your teeth move as you get older? Candid - the clear alternative to braces - costs 65% less than braces! Candid has an orthodontist licensed in your state create a treatment plan for you (and Candid only uses experienced orthodontists). You can save thousands of dollars and have straighter, brighter teeth in an average of just six months! Learn more at CandidCo.com/CHARM and use discount code CHARM to get $75 off! Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off. Resources from this Episode Episode 769: Laura Heck: avoid these 4 behaviors in any relationship The Kindness Diaries on Netflix Go Be Kind by Leon Logothetis Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

The majority of issues we face in relationships can be boiled down to 4 types of behaviors we exhibit. So what are they? How do you identify which ones you exhibit, and what can you do to deal with them in yourself, your partner, friends, family members, and coworkers before they fall apart? What to Listen ForHow did the Gottman Institute get started?How much overlap is there between the issues married couples face versus friends, coworkers, and family members and what can we learn from the overlap?What are the biggest issues typically seen in newlyweds and couples first moving in together?What is implied when you stand up at the altar to say, “I do” and what should a conversation about those implications revolve around?What 3 questions should you ask yourself before entering into a couples therapy situation and how do you use these questions to make sure both of you are on the same page when it comes to expectations?What are the 4 problem behaviors that come up in relationships and why is it important to identify YOUR problem behavior before calling out your partner’s?Why is it a bad idea to see a therapist without your partner if you’re having relationship issues?How do relationship problems express themselves through our emotional, mental, and physical well being?How do you deal with criticism whether it’s coming from yourself or your partner?What is the difference between complaining and blaming, and why is one ok and the other is not?How do you deal with defensiveness in a relationship?How can you develop patience when it comes to your partner’s development since we all grow at different speeds?What questions can you ask your partner to show your support for their development and assist in it (if they want you to)? Relationships are a two-way street, so the issues we face while in relationships are a result of one person’s actions and the other’s reactions. This is not to say that one person is always acting and the other is reacting, but when attempting to tackle issues you have in your relationships, you must acknowledge your role in that issue. The responsibility does not fall 100% on you or the other person, but is shared between the two of you. This applies to romantic relationships, platonic relationships, professional relationships, and familial relationships. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! SAXX Underwear’s patented BallPark Pouch is a game-changer! They have internal mesh panels that keep everything in place, and they're made with super-soft, moisture-wicking fabrics, allowing our boys to breathe and even repel B.O.! Go to SAXX Underwear at SAXXunderwear.com and use the discount code CHARM at checkout to get $5 off – PLUS free shipping on your first purchase! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today. Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Resources from this Episode YouTube: Making Relationships Work | Dr. Gottman The Gottman Institute Marriage Therapy Radio Podcast Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Establishing boundaries can feel intimidating if you’ve never successfully set them before, so why are they so important when it comes to maintaining healthy relationships? Why does a lack of boundaries often lead to undesirable outcomes? What formula can you follow to start setting boundaries today? We’ll answer all those questions this episode. What to Listen ForWhat is causing most of the problems in your communication and how can you become more aware of them?Why is it important to set boundaries early on and how do you set boundaries respectfully?How can you be more proactive in dealing with conflict?Who is more likely to win in arguments and why does it not matter in the way you might think it does?What is the best way to approach someone who refuses to acknowledge clearly defined boundaries?Why does a lack of boundaries lead to resentment?How does too much freedom in a relationship lead to you feeling miserable?Why is it important to have clearly defined boundaries between home and work if you don’t have a dedicated work space and how can a lack of boundaries be detrimental to your productivity and your personal relationships?How can you be assertive without coming across as disrespectful?What formula can you follow to establish clear boundaries in your relationships and how can you make it a respectful cooperative effort? Setting boundaries in a relationship can feel like you are telling someone how to act - but in reality, setting and enforcing healthy boundaries allows you to be comfortable being yourself while communicating who you are and who you want to be to the people you care about. We all have different definitions of what it means to treat someone well and respect their time, so if you don’t communicate YOUR definition of what that is, don’t assume people can read it directly from your mind. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! SAXX Underwear’s patented BallPark Pouch is a game-changer! They have internal mesh panels that keep everything in place, and they're made with super-soft, moisture-wicking fabrics, allowing our boys to breathe and even repel B.O.! Go to SAXX Underwear at SAXXunderwear.com and use the discount code CHARM at checkout to get $5 off – PLUS free shipping on your first purchase! Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off. Resources from this Episode Episode 767: How to master communication in a relationship Episode 725: Boost Your Emotional Intelligence w/ Michael Ventura Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Relationships are a two-way street, but when it comes to communication it’s important to understand people have a variety of preferences when it comes to how love and affection are given and received, so what are those preferences, how can you identify what someone’s preferences are, and how can you implement all of this information to build new relationships and strengthen existing ones? What to Listen ForWhat can you do to strengthen the relationships in your life?What can you do if you think you’re a great listener but people around you keep complaining about you not listening?Why is it a recipe for disaster to look for someone to complete you and what should you be looking for instead?What are the Five Languages of Appreciation and how can you pick the best one for each of your relationships?What are the three parts of communication and how does your awareness of each part help to mitigate miscommunication?How do you identify the love languages of family, friends, and coworkers?Why are openness and vulnerability mandatory when it comes to figuring out the love languages of the people in your life?What little signals can you pay attention to so you can get an idea for how your loved ones communicate? In order to deepen the connections we have with the people around us, it’s important to understand how the people around us prefer to be treated. Just because you view the giving and receiving of affection one way, doesn’t mean everyone else does as well. Some people prefer to show their appreciation through words, some prefer to show it through gifts, and some prefer the spending of quality time together - and that’s just to name a few. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Lumen5 is empowering everyone with the ability to create short-form videos in a matter of minutes. You can transform an article, blog post, or text message into a video. Enter your text and the Lumen5 A.I. will help you summarize your content, and automatically match it with videos and photos. Right now Lumen Five has a special offer just for you! Go to lumen5.com/charm and you’ll get 50 percent off your first month. Resources from this Episode Episode 719 Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Gary Chapman The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman Learn Your Love Language with this Quiz Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Personal transformation is a long and arduous process, but we all have to start somewhere, so how do you know when it’s time to make such a drastic change, what can you do to stop from feeling overwhelmed in the beginning, and how do you know when it’s time to graduate from one step to the next? What to Listen ForWhy is making a list important in accomplishing your goals?What can you do to deal with the fear of public speaking?What simple exercises can you do right now to expand your comfort zone?How did Michael Herold get his start as a public speaker and coach?What steps should you take when starting out as a public speaker to make sure you feel ready on stage?Where can you get practice as a public speaker if you don’t have a coach and you’re not taking classes?How can you be more appreciative of your significant other after you two settle into the comfort stage of the relationship?How important is it to set aside time for one another when you’re in a relationship?What steps can you take to alleviate feeling overwhelmed when you embark on a journey of self-improvement?How are confidence and competence related when you’re working on your social skills?If your social skills feel rusty, what simple step can you take today to start improving?What can you do to overcome feeling burned out? For many, embarking on a journey of personal transformation comes after life punches you in the face - that could mean getting fired from a job, getting kicked out of school, going through the end of a relationship, or losing a loved one, just to name a few. But why does it take such a jarring event to motivate us to improve? Because transformation is difficult and painful, so to be willing to make a drastic change in yourself means the pain of staying the same must outweigh the pain of change. If you don’t feel the pain of your current situation, then what are the chances you’re going to choose to endure significant pain over a long period of time to change the situation you’re in? A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Manscaped is #1 in men’s below the belt grooming.  Manscaped offers precision engineered tools for manscaping with the right tool for the job. Get 20% Off, Free Shipping, and a free travel bag with the discount code CHARM at Manscaped.com. Your balls will thank you! Vistaprint wants you to be able to “Own the Now” in any situation, which is why our listeners will get 500 high-quality, custom business cards starting at $9.99. Use discount code CHARM at Vistaprint.com. Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off. Resources from this Episode Michael Herold - Speaker and Coach Michael Herold on Facebook 762: 3 Signs That it’s Time for Change | Transformation Toolbox 1 763: Had Enough Pain, Yet? | Toolbox 2 764: Brett Bartholomew on why drive matters more than motivation and secrets to peak performance 765: Parents, Part 2: Warren Farrell on The Boy Crisis and Dad Deprivation Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

The role of the father in raising children is often downplayed in society, but what do fathers bring to the table that mothers do not, why does the absence of a father have such long-lasting effects, and what steps can we take today to be there for our children? What to Listen ForWhat is dad deprivation and what role does it play as a child is growing up?What is the purpose void and why is it more important now that more children are growing up without a father?What are the two primary purposes in a man’s life and how has the development of society made it more difficult for men to feel fulfilled in either one?How does porn become addictive to young men and how does it shift the way men view women, sex, and relationships?What are the primary differences between mom-style parenting and dad-style parenting?What is the single biggest predictor of success and how do you teach it to children?How do you teach postponement of gratification to children and why is it so important to building the life you want?What is the difference between being aggressive and being assertive?What can you do to reverse ADHD?What role do family dinner nights have in a child’s development and what 5 things can you do to make those family dinners constructive rather than destructive?What steps can we take today to improve as parents? The father in many shows and movies seems to be there just for comic relief by being a hardass or totally incompetent while the mother is portrayed as “the real parent.” But the father’s role in raising kids is significantly more important than we tend to give it credit for. As Warren Farrell stated, “Children who have father involvement are far less likely to be obese, far less likely to have ADHD, far less likely to do worse in every single academic area, and far less likely to be depressed or commit suicide.” And those are just a few of the effects that a good father has on his kids. It’s crucial there be a balance of masculine and feminine influence in a child’s life in order for that child to grow into a well-rounded human being able to handle the ups and downs and twists and turns of life. It is the tension created by the difference between the parents that allows their children to find a happy medium that works for who they are. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! SAXX Underwear’s patented BallPark Pouch is a game-changer! They have internal mesh panels that keep everything in place, and they're made with super-soft, moisture-wicking fabrics, allowing our boys to breathe and even repel B.O.! Go to SAXX Underwear at SAXXunderwear.com and use the discount code CHARM at checkout to get $5 off – PLUS free shipping on your first purchase! Resources from this Episode Warren Farrell’s website Why Men Are the Way They Are by Warren Farrell The Myth of Male Power by Warren Farrell The Boy Crisis by Warren Farrell Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Coaching athletes, or anyone for that matter, does not come with a simple one-size-fits-all approach, so what does effective coaching look like, what do you need to know about those you’re coaching, and who do coaches get coached by? What to Listen ForHow did Brett Bartholomew get started in the world of strength training and coaching?How do you get buy-in with athletes you’re coaching to make sure they follow your program without getting distracted by all the other information they’re bombarded with?What do you need to know about your athletes in order to best coach them and how do you tie it in with a responsible message?What is the Harvard 4 Drive Model and how can you start using it today to teach or coach more effectively?What 3 steps can you use to better relate to other people and build better relationships with coworkers, students, and athletes?How do you develop self-awareness and what should you look for in your own life to start with?What are the 3 stages of internal identification and how does it relate to the development of self-awareness?What is imposter syndrome and how do you deal with it so you don’t sabotage your career or relationships?What kind of coaches do coaches get coached by?What is the difference between being responsive and being reactive?How can you be more responsive without being reactive?How do you find your own motivation and help others find theirs?How do you stay motivated as a coach? There are a variety of factors that influence your ability to coach someone effectively. First and foremost, your athlete (or student) must trust and respect you, otherwise, she won’t believe you know what you’re doing. So you must build a working relationship with your athletes, and that means understanding their self-awareness levels, working together to identify their strengths and weaknesses, what drives them and what their ambitions are, and getting a feel for how each one learns best. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Access a World of Knowledge! Unlimited video learning with the World's Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm. Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off. Resources from this Episode The Art of Coaching with Brett Bartholomew Harvard 4-Drive Model - Harvard Business Review Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

We all know change can be hard, so embarking on a journey of self-development and transformation means there will be pain involved - but is it possible to endure pain without also suffering? Why is it important to have a larger overarching goal throughout your journey, and what actionable steps can you take today to reduce the time and energy it might take to reach your transformation goals? What to Listen ForWhy is pain an unavoidable part of personal transformation, and what is the best way to approach such pain?What is the difference between pain and suffering?How do you figure out your values and why are they important when it comes to pursuing a fulfilling life?Why is it important to have a larger overarching goal on your journey toward self-actualization?Why is a reactive mindset counterproductive to happiness and fulfillment in life, and what steps can you take to turn your reactive mindset into a proactive one?What one question can you ask yourself to take back power and control over your life?How do you find meaning in terrible situations so you can thrive?What signs can you be on the lookout for to identify if you are struggling with resistance on your path to transformation?What 3 questions should you ask yourself in order to put your transformation goals into achievable steps? When you work out or train for an event, it’s important to push your body to its limits at various times so those limits can grow and you can improve as an athlete. You know when you are approaching those limits because of the pain you feel in your muscles, but if you stop when your muscles start to burn, you will not achieve the same results as someone who pushes through the pain to run the extra mile or get one more rep in. When confronting resistance or pain on your journey to self-actualization, you can choose to suffer in response, or you can recognize the value of the pain and push through it. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Access a World of Knowledge! Unlimited video learning with the World's Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm. Need a stylish, lightweight, and durable suitcase with a 100-day money back guarantee? Away creates thoughtful products designed to change how you see the world. For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com/CHARM20 and use discount promo code CHARM20 during checkout! Resources from this Episode Episode 762: 3 Signs That it’s Time for Change Implementation Intentions: Strong Effects of Simple Plans How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness | w/ Russ Harris Episode 729: Self-esteem is Bullshit | w/ Steven Hayes Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

Transformation can be accidental or intentional, but if you are going to change and grow as a person, wouldn’t you want to have a say in how you grow and who you become? What to Listen ForWhy are only the courageous drawn to self-development?How do you turn envy into a motivator rather than trying to hide it or eliminate it?What question can you ask yourself to make feelings of envy work for you?What is experiential avoidance and how is it correlated with low levels of life satisfaction?What are “doomers” and “bloomers” and how do doomers become bloomers?What should be your next move if you reach a point in your life and realize you haven’t accomplished anything?Why might procrastination be doing more damage to your future than you think, and what can you do about it?If you want to change your future, where is the best place to start and why might it not be the place you think?What is the difference between living life on the offense and living life on the defense, and why does one of the two make it far more difficult to achieve your goals?How does the pursuit of self-actualization lead to a snowball effect?What is the 5-5-5 technique and how can it prevent you from falling into a powerless state of mind? Self-development is only for the courageous. You must have the courage to face yourself and be honest about who you are and what you want. You must have the courage to identify your weaknesses and ask for help so you know where to start and what to work on. You must have the courage to live life on the offense so you can take intentional steps every single day toward who you want to become, even if it means falling and getting back on the horse. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! SAXX Underwear’s patented BallPark Pouch is a game-changer! They have internal mesh panels that keep everything in place, and they're made with super-soft, moisture-wicking fabrics, allowing our boys to breathe and even repel B.O.! Go to SAXX Underwear at SAXXunderwear.com and use the discount code CHARM at checkout to get $5 off – PLUS free shipping on your first purchase! Access a World of Knowledge! Unlimited video learning with the World's Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm. Get $100 off the ‘eero base unit and 2 beacons package,’ and 1 year of eero Plus. The new eero (2nd generation) and eero Beacon allow a customer to build a WiFi system that’s more perfectly tailored to their home than ever before! Visit eero.com/charm and at checkout enter discount code CHARM Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off. Resources from this Episode Thus Spoke Zarathustra Procrastination and the priority of short-term mood regulation Episode 718 with Chris “Drama” Pfaff - Overcoming Social Anxiety in Your Career Power affects performance when the pressure is on: evidence for low-power threat and high-power lift Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram

Where do you even begin if you want to get better at meeting people? Improving your communication skills is an excellent place to start. Communication is important in relationships, and even more important when dating. We’ll dig into best practices, tips and strategies for dating and meeting new people with Dr Laura Berman. What to Listen ForWhat drew Dr. Laura Berman to relationship and sex therapy?What is the current state of sex ed in schools and why is it so inadequate?How does porn affect the way you get aroused and why is it doing more harm than good?What is the fundamental problem with the paradox of choice when it comes to dating and dating apps?Why is it so important to think about how you want someone to make you feel and how does clarifying that make dating easier?Can you use DNA to find your perfect match?What is the best way for you to approach dating in the #MeToo era?How quickly should you move from dating app to meeting and why is it risky to draw it out?Where can you practice conversational skills in low-risk areas and what happens if you don’t practice these skills?How should you go into dating as a parent and why is it so different?If you are dating as a parent, when is the best time to bring up that you have a child?What can I do if my mind goes blank every time I try to talk to someone I’m interested in?How do you keep the intimacy going in a long term relationship?What is the biggest behavioral predictor of sexual health in a relationship?What is the “want” underlying the desire to “spice it up” in the bedroom?What do you do if you realize your partner is no longer attracted to you?How do you rewrite your story so you can break out of dating the same type of people? Remember: A big part of having good communication is being honest with yourself. If you are honest with yourself, you know what you like and don’t like, you know what you’re good at and what you’re not. That automatically filters out potential dates or relationships that come racing in from your dating app. And if you are honest with other people about who you are and what you want, it makes it easier for them to decide whether or not they want to keep spending time together. Being honest with yourself and with other people saves you headaches, confusion, and time - and time is the most valuable thing we have as human beings. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Vistaprint wants you to be able to “Own the Now” in any situation, which is why our listeners will get 500 high-quality, custom business cards starting at $9.99. Use discount code CHARM at Vistaprint.com. SAXX Underwear’s patented BallPark Pouch is a game-changer! They have internal mesh panels that keep everything in place, and they're made with super-soft, moisture-wicking fabrics, allowing our boys to breathe and even repel B.O.! Go to SAXX Underwear at SAXXunderwear.com and use the discount code CHARM at checkout to get $5 off – PLUS free shipping on your first purchase! Manscaped is #1 in men’s below the belt grooming.  Manscaped offers precision engineered tools for manscaping with the right tool for the job. Get 20% Off, Free Shipping, and a free travel bag with the discount code CHARM at Manscaped.com. Your balls will thank you! Resources from this Episode Dr Laura Berman Quantum Love by Dr Laura Berman Dr Laura Berman on Facebook Dr Laura Berman on Twitter Dr Laura Berman on Instagram Dr Laura Berman on YouTube Uncovered Podcast with Dr Laura Berman Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram

Just as teenagers go through hormonal change and a reshaping of identity, matrescence operates in a similar fashion. Understanding and preparing for this life chapter can bring a more rich and meaningful experience to parenthood.

Dating can seem like a torturous uphill battle for many men and women, but it doesn’t have to be - understanding how and why we are attracted to one another can have a significant positive impact on your ability to find happiness in your love life, but how do you take the science behind attraction and use it to make dating fun and engaging? What is signaling theory?What are fitness indicators and why are they so important to understand in the dating scenario?What scientifically is shown to make you more attractive in terms of signaling?How much of our behavior is guided by natural selection and what does the answer imply about humanity?When you want to dance in a social setting, what is more important than being able to dance well?What are many people doing wrong when it comes to their profiles on dating apps?What should you include in your dating app profile?Should you get professional photos done to use on dating apps?Why are we entering a new era of dating and what can you do to ensure you’re able to adapt?Why is working out a crucial foundation to start with when it comes to working on yourself from a self-development perspective?What is a tender defender and why should you aspire to it?What does it mean to stay true to yourself and how might you be interpreting it in a way that sabotages your behavior?As a parent, how do you create an environment for your child to develop grit, success, and resilience when they reach the dating age? Remember that you are alive today because every one of your ancestors was able to find a partner and start a family. You have the genetics to find the relationship you want, but it will likely take work to find it. Not only is it important for you to want to work on yourself for the sake of striving to be the best version of yourself, but it’s also important for potential partners to see that in you, so they know you are open to new ideas and experiences as well as always wanting to work on being the best partner. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Access a World of Knowledge! Unlimited video learning with the World's Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm. Proper Cloth makes it EASY for men to buy dress shirts that fit perfectly without setting foot in a store or paying a fortune. Get $20 off your first custom shirt by going to propercloth.com/aoc. Babbel is the new way to learn a foreign language. You can try Babbel for free. Download the app or text discount code CHARM to 484848.  Resources from this Episode The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller Geoffrey Miller’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram

Understanding social cues and nonverbal communication is arguably more important now than ever - but what does it mean to communicate with someone nonverbally, how much can you say with the delivery of words and the way you carry yourself compared to the words themselves, and why is it important to continue developing your social skills outside of dating and meeting people? What to Listen ForIs dating really just a numbers game?Why is initial chemistry a terrible way of determining compatibility and what should you look at instead?Why is the 20th-century version of dating no longer applicable in today’s way of life?How can you experience something together on the first date that contributes to cultivating chemistry?Why is physical contact so important when it comes to getting to know someone you’re interested in?What should you pay attention to when it comes to flirting, and what are most people incorrectly paying attention to?How does your body language communicate more about you than what you say and how do you improve it so you don’t self-sabotage when meeting someone you’re genuinely interested in?How do you listen with your eyes and ears and why is it so important when it comes to understanding what someone is communicating?How do many of us view flirting in a conversation and how is it doing more harm than good?What should you focus on when flirting with someone you’re interested in?How do you pick up on when someone is flirting with you?What signals can you look for to know when someone is interested in you?What is the difference between negative, neutral, and positive body language and when is each one important to display in a conversation? Social skills are arguably more important now than ever because of the way we have allowed technology to augment the way we communicate. We have mistakenly assumed the words we speak or write are the most valuable aspect of communication, and as a result, we aren’t impressing upon younger generations just how important it is to communicate with eye contact, tonality, physical contact, body language, and everything else that goes along with the words we use. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Access a World of Knowledge! Unlimited video learning with the World's Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm Babbel is the new way to learn a foreign language. You can try Babbel for free. Download the app or text discount code CHARM to 484848. Vistaprint wants you to be able to “Own the Now” in any situation, which is why our listeners will get 500 high-quality, custom business cards starting at $9.99. Use discount code CHARM at Vistaprint.com. Resources from this Episode Episode 742: The Hidden Power of Relationships Episode 743: Relationship Goals: Love, Friends & Work Episode 744: Dating Done Right With Evan Marc Katz Episode 757: The New Rules to Dating Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram

Dating has evolved due to the influence of technology and the way we communicate - but has the evolution been for the good of all, are all these options helping or hindering us, and why is it still just as important to meet face to face instead of trying to connect via text? What to Listen ForHow do dating apps remove the fun from dating and what can you do to make dating fun again?How do you create chemistry with someone you’re interested in?What are the three ways you can meet someone you might want to date?How do you decide where to meet new people who are more likely to be compatible with you?What are you doing to sabotage yourself every time you go out to meet new people?How do you become addicted to falling in love and what can you do if you feel you are?What is limerence and how does it prevent you from building healthy relationships?Texting is effective in 2 primary ways, so what are they and why should you avoid using it for other reasons?How can too much texting set you up for failure before meeting up with someone? The smartphone had a drastic impact on meeting new people and building connections. Texting has become the default form of communication for many, and now you can find new “matches” whenever you have a moment to open an app and glance at some pictures before swiping left or right. But meeting people through apps is just one of three ways you can expand your social circle and improve your dating life, and while texting is convenient, it is still vastly inferior to having a conversation face to face. This can put many of you in a situation where you’re always searching for that rush of meeting someone new. Unfortunately, when that rush dissipates and you don’t feel invested it can be too easy to simply find a new match, leading to many surface-level interactions instead of genuine long-lasting connections. There’s nothing wrong with surface-level interactions, but if you do want more meaningful connections then it’s important to take the time to get to know people and spend time with them in person. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Get $100 off the ‘eero base unit and 2 beacons package,’ and 1 year of eero Plus. The new eero (2nd generation) and eero Beacon allow a customer to build a WiFi system that’s more perfectly tailored to their home than ever before! Visit eero.com/charm and at checkout enter discount code CHARM Access a World of Knowledge! Unlimited video learning with the World's Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm SAXX Underwear’s patented BallPark Pouch is a game-changer! They have internal mesh panels that keep everything in place, and they're made with super-soft, moisture-wicking fabrics, allowing our boys to breathe and even repel B.O.! Go to SAXX Underwear at SAXXunderwear.com and use the discount code CHARM at checkout to get $5 off – PLUS free shipping on your first purchase! Resources from this Episode Episode 742: The Hidden Power of Relationships Episode 743: Relationship Goals: Love, Friends & Work Episode 744: Dating Done Right With Evan Marc Katz Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram

Relationships are built on trust, but that trust must be maintained over the years with intentional conversations to ensure that both people are on the same page - but how do you approach those conversations in a way that is healthy and promotes open & honest communication so that both of you are comfortable discussing uncomfortable topics?t What to Listen ForHow did Jill Coleman get into the fitness industry and find her calling?What can you do to overcome the negativity when it comes to having a public life?How many relationships actually survive infidelity?What can you look for to know whether or not it’s worth it to build a friendship with an ex-partner?What are the 2 parts to communication and why will your relationship fail if you don’t understand them?How do you stay focused on improving yourself rather than getting caught up in trying to fix other people?What is the difference between making something your fault and taking responsibility for it?What is the 3 S system to have an honest conversation about something you’re struggling to discuss?How do you set boundaries with someone when you’re not sure what the relationship is?How do you know when to have the conversation about intentions and expectations with someone you’re dating?If you’re feeling jealous or insecure about your partner, should you be honest about it?Why is it important to be able to trust yourself before you can trust other people?How do you deal with toxic relationships when there are children involved? Trust is an interesting facet of human interaction. We learn about people by having conversations with them, seeing how they react to a variety of events and circumstances, and understanding the way they make us feel. Trust is something that can take weeks, months, or years to build, can be lost in a moment, and sometimes can never be rebuilt. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Fundrise is the future of real estate investing. The platform’s innovations power an investor-first model by eliminating the bloated costs and middlemen that have traditionally weighed down real estate investing — saving you time and money. Visit fundrise.com/aoc to have your first 3 months of fees waived. Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Mother’s Day is almost here, and there’s one gift that thousands of moms have been calling the “best gift ever.” It’s called Skylight, and it’s a photo frame you can email photos to—any time, from anywhere. To get $10 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame just go skylightframe.com and use discount code CHARM. Vistaprint wants you to be able to “Own the Now” in any situation, which is why our listeners will get 500 high-quality, custom business cards starting at $9.99. Use discount code CHARM at Vistaprint.com. Resources from this Episode Jill Fit website The Best Life Podcast Jill Coleman on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram

Many of us tend to overlook one of the greatest sources of wisdom in our lives - our elders - but how much can you learn from one simple conversation, what can you do to better connect with your elders, and what are the secrets to a long and happy life? What to Listen ForWhy is it important to maintain relationships with our elders and what can we learn from them, even in a technology dominated world?Are older generations facing the same level of loneliness that modern generations seem to be facing en masse?What do the elderly point to as secrets to a longer and happier life?What is one simple act you can do every time you run into someone you know that can strengthen the bond between you two?If you’re looking for a mentor, what can you do to approach an elder you’re interested in learning from?How do you connect with people from older generations if you feel you have nothing in common?What can you do to mend broken relationships before it’s too late?What simple mental exercise can you do to develop your sense of empathy when it comes to getting to know your elders? We live in an interesting time in human history. In many cultures around the world and for as far back as we can tell, the elders in a community have been revered for their experience and wisdom. But now, if you live in a country like the United States, you have undoubtedly seen or heard of our elders being treated as if they are “extra weight” we have to live with as a society. Retirement homes and nursing homes are ripe with older generations who are treated like stubborn patients rather than the wise and experienced members of society they are. But there is so much we can learn from our elders. The stories they can tell are the stories of past lives, of struggle and adversity, and the lessons only decades of experience can teach us. Remember the next time you encounter one of your elders, that reaching old age can feel lonely for many people. Friends have passed away. Family members and loved ones might only be checking in on occasion. Our elders are an untapped resource and need our presence in their lives just as much as we unknowingly need theirs. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Fundrise is the future of real estate investing. The platform’s innovations power an investor-first model by eliminating the bloated costs and middlemen that have traditionally weighed down real estate investing — saving you time and money. Visit fundrise.com/aoc to have your first 3 months of fees waived. Access a World of Knowledge! Unlimited video learning with the World's Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm Babbel is the new way to learn a foreign language. You can try Babbel for free. Download the app or text discount code CHARM to 484848. Proper Cloth makes it EASY for men to buy dress shirts that fit perfectly without setting foot in a store or paying a fortune. Get $20 off your first custom shirt by going to propercloth.com/aoc Resources from this Episode Life Lessons from the Oldest and Wisest David Romanelli Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is one of the most effective methods to increase psychological flexibility - but what exactly is ACT, how can it decrease the suffering in your life, and why is it so crucial to leading a happy and fulfilling life, especially in this day and age? What to Listen ForWhat is the bus driver metaphor and how can you use it to prevent your thoughts and feelings from controlling you?What is ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and why is it so effective?What one question can you ask yourself to determine why something is important to you?Why is it important to us to experience the full range of emotions, rather than just the good ones?How can you learn to appreciate negative feelings just as much as positive ones so you can decrease the suffering in your life?What can you do to turn negative feelings (like anxiety) into a guiding compass for what you want in life?What has been the biggest challenge with the way our lives have been infused with technology and what can you do to lessen the negative impacts?How dominant is the comparison of more versus less in our heads?What is the best way to start overcoming your anxiety, and why might it seem counterintuitive at first? What simple exercise can you do to transform your mental state whenever you want? Pain is unavoidable. One could argue it is the most important stimulus for change and growth in a person’s life. And if pain is that important, then having a mindset or method for dealing with pain can only benefit you in the long run. If you allow yourself to get hung up on painful moments and refuse to learn from them, then you will only increase the suffering you experience. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy helps individuals to shift their perspective on pain and suffering by improving their psychological flexibility. Think of it as a tree in a storm. If that tree is stiff, it will eventually snap under enough stress, but if the tree is flexible, no matter how hard the wind blows, the tree will simply bend until the storm has passed. Do you want to snap under the stress of life? Or do you want to bend, and come out the other side stronger and wiser? A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Babbel is the new way to learn a foreign language.You can try Babbel for free. Download the app or text CHARM to 484848. Access a World of Knowledge. Unlimited video learning with the World's Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm Go to stateandliberty.com and type in the code CHARM to get 10% off your first order or mention this podcast at any of their locations. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Resources from this Episode Episode 729: Self-esteem is Bullshit Steven Hayes Episode 727: Sugar Ray Leonard Mental Brakes to Avoid Mental Breaks | Steven Hayes | TEDx How love turns pain into purpose | Steven Hayes | TEDx Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram

In a world of seemingly limitless options, how can you know if a person is THE person for you, what questions can you ask yourself to determine if you’re even ready for a relationship, and how do you stop money from driving you two apart the way it does for countless relationships and marriages? What to Listen ForHow can you know who to settle down with in a world of seemingly limitless options?What are 3 questions to ask yourself to help you understand if you’re with the right person?Why is it detrimental to a relationship if you enter it with expectations for either one of you to change?How do you get a complete picture of someone to know whether he or she is someone you want to be in a relationship with?In what ways do you have to change your mindset to make a committed relationship work?What questions should you ask yourself to determine whether or not you’re ready for a relationship?How does your relationship with money impact your relationship with your significant other?What 3 step conversation can you have with your significant other so you both can understand each other’s relationship with money and save yourslf years of headaches and arguments?If you want your relationship to grow, where does that growth have to start?Why do people in relationships grow apart, how do you recognize it when it begins, and what can you do to stop it from breaking the relationship?What two factors are shown by science to be the greatest predictors of divorce in satisfied newly weds? To say relationships are complex is an understatement. We are all different, and we all have different needs and wants along with different expectations for how those needs and wants should be satisfied. This is why communication is crucial, both communication with yourself and communication with your significant other. If you want to give a relationship the best chance of success you must be willing to talk about your needs, wants, and expectations in any number of areas. Ask the right questions, ask the hard questions, and be willing to adapt and adjust to each other as you go through life. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Eight Sleep is the first bed engineered to improve your sleep through dynamic cooling and heating, detailed sleep tracking. For a limited time, get $150 off your purchase when you go to eightsleep.com/charm Resources from this Episode Uncertainty can cause more stress than inevitable pain 744: Dating Done Right With Evan Marc Katz Why do even satisfied newlyweds eventually go on to divorce? Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram

Uncertainty is an unavoidable part of life, and for many, it can feel overwhelming - but what important lessons can your relationship with uncertainty teach you, how can you improve the relationship with uncertainty, and what are some real-world examples of handling uncertainty in a positive way? What to Listen ForHow can purpose help you overcome and push through uncertainty in life when making big decisions as well as small decisions?What exercise can you start doing now to help you deal with anxiety and uncertainty in your everyday life?How does indecisiveness impact the feeling of uncertainty in life and what can you do if you have a bad relationship with indecisiveness?What is the best advice for someone entering a leadership role at work for the first time?Why is communication so important in a leadership or management role and what tips can you start implementing today to improve your team’s productivity?What do many of us do to contribute to a toxic work environment and what can you do to start reversing the damage before it’s too late?How do you make friends when moving to a new city where you don’t know anyone?What easy questions can you use at the next meetup or networking event to spark conversations with new people?What’s the best way to follow up with new contacts after a networking event?What is the Social Sales Funnel and why is it so effective at building new friendships and relationships no matter where you live? As humans, we evolved to look for patterns in order to feel more secure about our surroundings, because a lack of familiarity in the wild could mean you are not in a safe location. Uncertainty makes its appearance in the form of not knowing how something will turn out - that job interview, the presentation at work, the third date with your new crush, whether or not you’ll be able to sell the house in time, etc. The list goes on forever because there is an infinite number of events to be uncertain about, and depending on how attached you are to the event (or more likely, the outcome of the event), the more stress and anxiety the uncertainty can cause you. It is critical to your future happiness and success to be comfortable with the discomfort uncertainty brings because life is full of uncertainty and there is no way to eliminate it from your life. Start building a positive relationship with uncertainty today and you will certainly be closer to a more enjoyable life tomorrow. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Visit dukecannon.com right now and get 15% off your first order with the promo code CHARM. Free shipping on orders over $35. Go to stateandliberty.com and type in the code CHARM to get 10% off your first order or mention this podcast at any of their locations. Resources from this Episode Uncertainty can cause more stress than inevitable pain Episode 743: Relationship Goals: Love, Friends & Work Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram

Your habits and systems determine how successful you can become, but what habits and systems can you implement in your professional life and personal life to reduce unnecessary stress and frustration while creating more space in your calendar and your mind to focus on the important things? What to Listen ForWhat role do habits and systems play in determining your potential for success?How do you balance life and work as an entrepreneur?What is David Henzel’s definition of happiness and how can you use his approach to happiness to help strengthen your own?What can you start doing today to take the pressure off of you in situations ranging from one-on-one settings all the way to a public speaking event?How do you build trust with someone you care about when he or she starts pulling away?If you recognize toxic behavior in yourself, what can you do to deal with it so you stop causing damage to the relationships in your life?How do you set boundaries without coming across as harsh or rude?What can you do to start making friends after school or outside of work and church?How can you use Facebook Ads to network, make friends, and even find a date?What red flags should you look for when making friends or looking for dates in order to save yourself time and heartache?How do you allow someone back into your life who used to be toxic and is clearly making an effort to improve? Balance can be a difficult goal to hit because of how often things in our lives change. Friends and relationships come and go. Work will always have highs and lows and many of us jump from job to job every few years. Money comes and goes. Our hobbies and interests evolve over time. Our bodies age and demand different levels of care from us.  Throughout all of this, it’s important for our mental, emotional, and physical well being that we maintain some semblance of balance.  Socializing is important, meaningful work is important, relaxing is important, working out is important, exposing yourself to new people and new ideas is important, but spending all of your time on any one of those things can lead to feeling burnt out, eventual boredom, loneliness, and any number of dire physical ailments stemming from not having a well-rounded healthy lifestyle. Follow your passion and do what you love, but don’t let the rest of your life fall by the wayside. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Eight Sleep is the first bed engineered to improve your sleep through dynamic cooling and heating, detailed sleep tracking. For a limited time, get $150 off your purchase when you go to eightsleep.com/charm Visit dukecannon.com right now and get 15% off your first order with the promo code CHARM. Free shipping on orders over $35. Are you sick and tired of paying high interest rates on your credit cards? Go to lightstream.com/charm Resources from this Episode Meetup.com David Henzel David Henzel on Twitter David Henzel on Facebook David Henzel on LinkedIn David Henzel on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram

If you want to pursue your own happiness and fulfillment you are bound to make decisions that confuse or disappoint the people around you, which can lead to doubt and uncertainty in your own head, so what can you do to stay focused on your goals, how do you handle the mixed emotions of those around you, and why can trying to live up to the expectations of others lead to a life of endless regret? What to Listen ForWhy does Jay Shetty give credit to Eminem for the way he approaches storytelling?AJ asks Jay how he made the decision to become a monk at such a young age, leaving everything he knew behindHow did Jay Shetty’s fun-filled successful life in London finance compare to his modest living as a monk in India?What 3 things did Jay Shetty notice in the person who inspired him to pursue life as a monk, and why are they so important to be happy?How do you deal with the toxic people you cut out of your life before achieving some success but who later want back in once they see how successful you’ve become?Jay touches on how to handle doubt and resistance from the people you love when you want to make a life-changing decisionHow do you deal with self-doubt and perfectionism when you’re trying to consistently create content with a far-reaching impact?Why is it easier said than done to “Just be yourself” and what tips can you start using now to be more comfortable being you?How are your passion, purpose, and happiness inextricably linked, and how can you develop your passion into a purpose to build your happiness?If you love telling stories, how do you turn that love into full-time work?How do you curate an inner circle you can trust and rely on for support as well as honest feedback and advice? You only get one life. You know this, but many of us don’t live our lives with that understanding in mind. It’s an important idea to comprehend for one simple fact: you don’t live anyone else’s life, and they don’t live yours. If you want to be happy and fulfilled you must make the decisions you want to make and not the decisions other people want you to make. No matter what you do, there will be people who are going to question you and doubt you, which is why it’s critical you believe in yourself and make your dreams priority number one. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today. Go to stateandliberty.com and type in the code CHARM to get 10% off your first order or mention this podcast at any of their locations. Get $100 off the ‘eero base unit and 2 beacons package,’ and 1 year of eero Plus. Visit eero.com/charm and at checkout enter CHARM Resources from this Episode Episode 748: 7 Signs of a Toxic Relationship The Journey Home by Radhanath Swami The Bhagavad Gita by Eknath Easwaran Jay Shetty on Instagram Jay Shetty on Twitter Jay Shetty on Facebook Jay Shetty’s Podcast Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram

How can toxic people make you feel like you are losing your mind, what can they do to turn your coworkers and friends against you, and what is the best way to deal with them before the damage gets out of control, potentially leading you to lose a job, a relationship, or even your friends. What to Listen For Why is it so important to remove toxic people from your professional or personal social circle?What two proven ways can you use to remove toxic people from your life?How can a toxic person make you doubt your decision to cut them out?How do toxic people work to turn your friends and coworkers against you?What is gas lighting and how do toxic people use it against you to make you feel like you are losing your sanity?What are the signs you can look for to know when you are being gas lit and what should you do if your recognize these signs today?How do you go about dealing with toxic family members to remove their toxic influence on you?What can you do to deal with toxic coworkers since how you handle it could impact your job security? It’s one thing to understand the behaviors of toxic individuals so you can recognize them immediately and prevent them from getting deep enough in your life to cause any real damage. Many of you, however, might just now be identifying which of the relationships in your life are indeed toxic, and that can make it a significantly more delicate and difficult problem to address. It is crucial to approach the problem as soon as you can to prevent the toxic individuals from doing any further damage, and once you do, you must stand by your decision. Toxic people can change, but the kind of change they must go through is not the kind of change that is going to happen after you allow them back into your life just because they got on their knees and begged for your forgiveness. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Eight Sleep is the first bed engineered to improve your sleep through dynamic cooling and heating, detailed sleep tracking. For a limited time, get $150 off your purchase when you go to eightsleep.com/charm Are you sick and tired of paying high interest rates on your credit cards? Go tolightstream.com/charm Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Resources from this Episode Episode 748: 7 Signs of a Toxic Relationship Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram

Toxic relationships exist in all of our lives in varying degrees, but defines a toxic relationship, how can you identify toxic relationships in your life, and what can you do if you find out you are exhibiting toxic behavior? What to Listen ForWhat is the definition of toxic when it comes to relationships?How do you recognize when a relationship is toxic and what can you do to rectify the situation or walk away from it?What are the 7 surefire ways of identifying a toxic person and what is the best way to handleHow can you recognize when you are the toxic half of a relationship and what can you start doing now to make sure you don’t ruin the relationship?What 2 simple questions can you ask yourself to determine if a relationship is toxic?Can you rid yourself completely of toxic relationships?What does it mean to be high value?What are 3 high values behaviors you can identify in non toxic individuals and how can you implement them in your own life?What does it mean to exhibit cooperative behavior and why is it important if you want healthy relationships and significantly less stress? Toxic individuals and toxic relationships are an unavoidable part of interacting with other people. It’s a numbers game - if you meet enough people you will eventually bring toxic people into your life. That’s ok, what matters is how you handle the situation once it’s in front of you. And while toxic relationships can have a damaging impact on your life in a variety of ways, it’s important to remember that the toxic individuals are still human, and aren’t necessarily bad - they’re just bad for you. We all go through phases in our lives and each of these phases asks different things of us and of those people we bring into our lives. It’s important for you to be conscious of what is good for you and what is detrimental, and just because a relationship or friendship is toxic for you at one time it does not necessarily mean that person can never be a part of your life. Establish boundaries, allow yourself to forgive from time to time, and prioritize your health and your needs - always put your oxygen mask on before helping the person next to you. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/charm for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain” Resources from this Episode Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness | w/ Russ Harris Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Fortune favors the bold” right? But what does it mean to live your life with boldness, how is it related to fear and the overcoming of fear, and in what ways is it different from simply having confidence? What to Listen ForDo you have to be confident in order to be bold and why should you want to develop your boldness?What can you do on a daily basis to practice boldness?What steps can you give your children so they can develop strength and boldness in order to better succeed in life?What stands in the way of people bringing boldness into their relationships?How can not being your authentic self damage your relationships and prevent you from moving up in your professional life?How much time is too much time spent trying to improve toxic relationships in your life before it’s acceptable to walk away from them?How can you be more authentic in your relationships and how can being less authentic damage your relationships?If you are facing a loss what can you start doing to cope with the loss to ensure you’re still able to be happy?If you feel like you need a break from socializing, will it damage your relationships to take time off to recharge?How do you know if your social circle truly has your back?What can you do to maintain long distance friendships if you feel like you’re bad at it? If confidence comes from exposing yourself to the unknown and the unfamiliar until it becomes familiar, boldness is the willingness to act in the face of fear and uncertainty. So, in order to develop either one you must be willing to take action. None of us starts at zero - we all have some level of confidence and boldness to begin with, but to improve them we must take action. Practicing boldness will allow you to further increase your confidence, and increasing your confidence unlocks limitless potential in your life. But like any muscle or skill, if they are left alone they will begin to wither. Confidence and boldness must be exercised and practiced regularly in order to keep them growing, so get out there and start living your life with boldness. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Eight Sleep is the first bed engineered to improve your sleep through dynamic cooling and heating, detailed sleep tracking. For a limited time, get $150 off your purchase when you go to eightsleep.com/charm Are you sick and tired of paying high interest rates on your credit cards? Go to lightstream.com/charm Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Resources from this Episode Gia Helena Living with Boldness Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram

We all go through various acts in our lives, and each act carries with it its own challenges and relationships, so how can you take the experience, battle scars, and lessons you learned in one act as you transition into the next? What to Listen ForHow did Kobe Bryant’s relationship with Phil Jackson influence his Wizenard series of books?Why is it important to embrace the adversity in life rather than avoiding it?What are the biggest life lessons Kobe wants you to take away from his Wizenard book series?Is vulnerability a sign of weakness?How does having children change you as a person and the way you perceive yourself?How can an unwillingness to go the extra mile actually be indicative of a fear of failure rather than simply avoiding extra work?How do you assemble an inner circle of people you can trust?If championships were Kobe Bryant’s Mt Everest in the past, what is his Mt Everest now and how is he going to conquer it?Who are Kobe Bryant’s mentors as he enters the 2nd act of his life? Life is a journey, not a destination, and if you look at your own journey you can usually split it up into segments, each with its own defining theme or challenge you had to overcome. The wonderful aspect of looking at your life in this way is that it allows you to identify what you learned and the strengths you gained from each segment. Every challenge you overcome in life strengthens you, grants you more wisdom, and makes you a more capable human overall. Adversity in life is key to strengthening you physically, mentally, and emotionally. We should not try to avoid adversity, but to seek it, embrace it, and rely on it to make us better. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Granity Studios The Wizenard Series: Training Camp The Mamba Mentality Kobe Bryant on Twitter Kobe Bryant on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram

Positive psychology is a relatively new area of study and it’s garnered a ton of attention over the last few years - but what exactly is positive psychology, how is it connected to the relationships we have, and what can you start doing today to find more fulfillment, happiness, and success in life? What to Listen ForWhat are the core teachings of positive psychology and how can you implement them to get through the lows of life?What is the danger of identifying yourself with work or hobbies or relationships and if those are not ideal, where should you draw your identity from?Rob Mack touches on cognitive agility and emotional regulation and why those two ideas help explain why so many people suffer from addictionWhy is it unhealthy to perceive relationships as something to “complete” you and how should you look at them instead?What can you say to someone who is clearly playing the victim and help them move beyond it?What is the one thing we know about the effective therapies around the world and how can you use it to ensure you don’t push people away?Why can comparing yourself to others be detrimental to your happiness and how can you avoid the comparison trap?What can you do to make life cooperate with you and make those challenging times more manageable?How can you interact with toxic people in a manner that allows you to maintain your positive attitude? Happiness is both a choice itself, as well as the result of choices you make in various areas of your life. To be as happy as you want to be, you must take full responsibility for everything in your life, and that includes everything that happens to you. The more blame you try to shift onto other people and things, the more power you give away, and that power is what enables you to choose your happiness. On top of that, the people you spend time with absolutely have an influence over your ability to choose your happiness, making it harder or easier to make that choice. You can be happy and fulfilled around toxic people, but if it’s easier to be happy when you’re around people who support and encourage you and choose to engage you in positive conversations, why would you want to spend your time with anything but? A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Go to untuckit.com or visit one of UNTUCKit’s 50 stores across the US and Canada. Use promo code CHARM for 20% off your first purchase. Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain” Joybird is premium quality furniture, customized exactly how you want it. Go to joybird.com/CHARM and receive an exclusive offer for 25% off your first order by using the code CHARM. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Resources from this Episode Happiness from the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment Rob Mack Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram

Chemistry is often cited by many as the defining factor in what they look for when venturing into the world of dating - but is it the most important factor when it comes to the success of long term relationships, and what can you do to maximize the chances of finding the one while ensuring you waste as little time as possible? What to Listen ForWhat dating apps are the best for establishing good connections?How do women’s preferences differ from men’s when it comes to dating and how do you take them into account when getting to know new people?What are the advantages and disadvantages of online dating and what can you do to mitigate the potential damage caused by the disadvantages?Is compatibility or chemistry more important in the long run and how should you be viewing both when it comes to looking for what you want?What one simple method can you use to break things off with someone you just met and are not interested in?How can you look at dating in a way that stops making it feel like a waste of your time and energy if you haven’t found what you’re looking for? Relationships can be hard. Many of us have heard that, whether it’s from family or friends or coworkers. But relationships can also be easy… if you allow them to be. In fact, most of the time a relationship with someone you’re thinking about spending the rest of your life with should be easy. That person should accept you for who you are and understand you as an individual. You’re on a team, working together to make the relationship work. This is why compatibility is so important, and arguably more so than chemistry. Chemistry will make for great memories and amazing high’s, but compatibility will carry you through the years. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! GREATS designs classically inspired sneakers for men and women using luxury high quality materials and construction. Go to greats.com and use CHARM at checkout! Live a healthier, happier, more well-rested life in just a few minutes a day with the Headspace app. Sign up now at headspace.com/CHARM to get a free month trial. Resources from this Episode Episode 742 - The Hidden Power of Relationships Evan Katz TED Talk The Paradox of Choice Evan Katz website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram

Smartphones and the apps that exist on them have blown the doors wide open when it comes to creating options in your dating life as well as giving you the (sometimes false) perception of keeping in touch with friends. But what are the drawbacks of relying on all these algorithms to meet new people, how can you ensure you’re actually nurturing the personal and professional relationships you already have, and what does the science tell us about the current state of our social lives? What to Listen ForAre you more likely to meet your significant other on your own or through friends, and what does this mean for you?How have dating apps both improved and damaged the world of dating?Why can information overload have a negative impact on your love life and what can you do to control it?What are emotional bids and how can you use them to improve the relationships in your life, both platonic and romantic?What are Glue Guys/Girls and how do they hold teams together in a corporate/work environment, and what can you do to become one, reducing your chance of getting laid off and increasing your chance of getting that raise/promotion?How do gratitude and asking for help play an important role in the formation of strong bonds, and how can you start using both today to improve your relationships?Why is the act of validating others’ feelings so powerful, whether in a personal or professional setting, and why should you start doing it immediately?What one thing can you do to defuse gossip on the spot when someone can’t seem to stop gossiping to you about someone? At a surface level, romantic and professional relationships couldn’t appear more different: the intimacy, the way you speak to one another, the activities you engage in, etc. But the beauty of human connection is on a fundamental level we all want the same things. We want to be appreciated, we want to be valued, and we want to feel as if our thoughts and feelings matter. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! GREATS designs classically inspired sneakers for men and women using luxury high quality materials and construction. Go to greats.com and use CHARM at checkout! Live a healthier, happier, more well-rested life in just a few minutes a day with the Headspace app. Sign up now at headspace.com/CHARM to get a free month trial. Resources from this Episode “The National Survey of Health and Social Life” aka The Chicago Sex Survey Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship Episode 719 Turning Toward Emotion Episode 720 How to Improve Your Workplace Communication Episode 721 What Matters Most in a Difficult Conversation Episode 722 Wall Street Journal: Baseball’s Winning Glue Guys Beyond Reciprocity: Gratitude and Relationships in Everyday Life Social Isolation in America Psychopath, Sociopath, or Idiots: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram

Filtering the right people into your life is a skill that can set you on the path to success if you can do it well, and failure if you do it poorly - but how do other people have such a strong influence on your life and what can you do to make sure the people in your life aren’t leading you down a road to failure and discontent? What to Listen ForHow do the people you surround yourself impact your ability to be happy and accomplish your goals?How can your life be influenced by the friends of friends you don’t even know and what can you do to mitigate the harm they cause?What are “value vampires” and how can you recognize them early on so they don’t waste your valuable time and energy?What does it mean to be a high value individual and how can your pursuit of it help you avoid pain, suffering, and massive hits to your confidence?What do high value individuals do that set them apart from others and lead them to be pursued by everyone else?What is a “friend audit” and how can you perform one to ensure you’re not spending time with the wrong people who are bringing you down or holding you back?Can you avoid the influence people around you have (especially when you work with them all day)?What is the difference between gossiping and venting and why is one dangerous while the other is healthy?What one question can you use to disarm people who try to gossip with you and shift the conversation into a constructive direction? When you allow a low value people into your life, you don’t just bring them into your life, but their friends, their problems, baggage, low value behavior, and values and beliefs. We as humans are influenced by our surroundings more than we think, and it can be a scary thought to confront the possibility that the people closest to you are doing the most harm when it comes to your ability to move forward in life and be happy. As scary and as hard as it might be, performing an audit of your social circle could be the first step in helping you achieve your goals and/or get unstuck if you feel your progress has stalled for a while. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain Resources from this Episode Episode 693: Identifying Low Value Behaviors Episode 694: Becoming High Value Episode 719: Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship Episode 738: What Defines Happiness Episode 739: The Key to Happiness Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness Episode 741: Train Your “Happy” | Q&A w/ Christoph Schnedlitz of hiMoment hiMoment App Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

Happiness is not a destination, but what does it mean to enjoy the journey, especially when the journey is bound to have rough patches, and what daily habit can you start doing now to make the journey a happy one? What to Listen ForHow can journaling improve your overall happiness and what one question can you use as a prompt everyday to get you started on the right track?Why do the big moments we look forward to (graduation, wedding, promotion, etc) have little to no impact on our overall happiness?Is the difference between happy people and unhappy people the events in their lives or the way they perceive the events?If happiness is a choice, what can you do to maximize that choice?How do your friends, family, and coworkers influence your ability to be happy?If you’re going through a break up, what can you do to help mitigate the pain and sadness you feel so you don’t get stuck?How can striving for success for the wrong reasons lead to you failing to be happy?What is contributing to all of the misinformation about happiness?How do you deal with the endless potential comparison forced upon us by social media? Your happiness is like a muscle, one that needs regular training in order to get stronger and one that can atrophy if it is left alone for too long. You’re not going to get stronger if you train once or twice a year, so when it comes to your happiness, you’re not going to get happier if you rely on the occasional event throughout the year. The biggest difference between happy people and unhappy people is not the events in their lives, but the way they perceive the events in their lives. If you allow the events to determine how happy you can be, you’ll never be as happy as someone who decides to be happy regardless of the events in their lives. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Go to untuckit.com or visit one of UNTUCKit’s 50 stores across the US and Canada. Use promo code CHARM for 20% off your first purchase. Resources from this Episode Episode 738: What Defines Happiness Episode 739: The Key to Happiness Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness hiMoment App Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

Happiness is not meant to be a permanent state you exist in, but if you’re not meant to just feel good all the time, what is the end goal of creating our happiness and how do we approach the inevitable pain and suffering we all face in life? What to Listen ForWhy can negative emotions be your best friend when it comes to your happiness?Russ Harris debunks the popular myths about happiness and explains how they can actually lead you to be miserableIn what ways are meaning and purpose related to your ability to maintain your happiness in the long term?How does Russ Harris define a rich and meaningful life that leads to an overall feeling of happiness?What can you do to be more comfortable and accepting of “negative” emotions and how does doing so help you avoid suffering?What is the difference between values, virtues, and morals?Why is it so important to define your values if you want to lead a rich and meaningful life full of happiness?Russ Harris explains what the “reality gap” and “reality slap” are and how your awareness of them can lead you to better handle life’s challengesWhat is the magic wand question and how can you use it to narrow down your most important valuesHow do you translate values into goals and action plans to ensure you don’t stagnate?4 One of the most popular myths revolving around happiness is this idea that once you “achieve” it you’ll transcend feelings like anger, sadness, pain, and hate, but these are all part of the full depth of human experience. To attempt to remove them from your experience is to remove a part of your humanity. We utilize all of our feelings and emotions to better understand ourselves and the world we live in. Instead, we want to change the way we look at such emotions, strive to understand what is causing you to feel unpleasant emotions, and make better choices about how you respond to them when you start feeling them. Finally, we want to learn to look inward for explanations instead of reacting outward with blame and spite. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain” Joybird is premium quality furniture, customized exactly how you want it. Go to joybird.com/CHARM and receive an exclusive offer for 25% off your first order by using the code CHARM. For a limited time, Postmates is giving our listeners $100 of free delivery credit for your first 7 days. To start your free deliveries, download the app RIGHT NOW and use code “CHARM2019” Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Resources from this Episode The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris Mindfulness Myths on YouTube The Choice Point on YouTube ACT Questions and Answers: A Practitioner's Guide to 150 Common Sticking Points in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Russ Harris Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

Happiness is one of those ideas that has an endless number of quotes about where it comes from (and where it does not). We’ve heard many of them so many times we just wave them off and roll our eyes before jumping back on the hamster wheel and chasing the next piece of cheese, completely unaware of the trap we put ourselves in, but what does science say about what makes us happy, what do you need to start focusing on today in order to achieve your happiness, and what must you be aware of in order to give yourself the best chance of a long, healthy, and happy life? What to Listen ForWhy is it so difficult for us as humans to determine what makes us happy?AJ explains why reaching milestones in life or attaining your goals does not equate to overall happinessHow has technology seemingly put happiness further out of reach?Johnny explains how cognitive biases keep us from achieving true happinessWhat is “miswanting” and why do we constantly sabotage ourselves by doing it?What is the Harvard Study on Adult Development and how can you use the findings to achieve your own happiness?How are happiness & health connected and what can you start doing today so you don’t lose both? AJ explains why our focus on achievement as a society can be detrimental to our development when we’re youngWhy are relationships so beneficial to our health and how can you determine whether or not yours are?If you are lonely, why can it be more difficult to find the resources to build the connections science has shown to be so vital to our long term health and happiness?Why is rejection and the handling of it so valuable in today’s society, especially if you don’t want to be lonely and unhappy?What are the physiological benefits of spending time with people you care about? There is an obvious reason reaching your goals or buying the next great thing does not bring you happiness - if only one thing in your life changes, the other 99% of your life is still the same. You can’t change one thing or achieve one thing or buy one thing and think it’s going to improve every other part of your life. Even if you could “upgrade” every part of your environment you’d still be the same person but with different surroundings, so if you’re not happy now, all those upgrades aren’t going to change who you are inside. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Resources from this Episode Episode 738: What Defines Happiness Harvard study, almost 80 years old, has proved that embracing community helps us live longer, and be happier Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two Decades Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

It’s fair to say that happiness is one of the most important goals we can pursue in life because not much else matters if you’re not deriving some happiness from this journey we are all on - but how do we define happiness, what can we do to improve our overall happiness, and how might we be sabotaging ourselves in the pursuit of it? What to Listen ForWhat is the definition of happiness?What is the difference between contentment and pleasure with how they relate to your pursuit of happiness?How does having meaning in your life weave into your ability to be happy?AJ and Johnny explain the significance of being present and how it demands regular practice in order to make it stickWhat are the three primary influencing factors in your happiness?How important are the circumstances in which you live when it comes to your overall happiness?Are your genetics the biggest or smallest contributor to our happiness?Why are your mindset and actions the most important factor of happiness even though they’re not the biggest contributing factor?If happiness comes down to leading a good, meaningful life then how do you design such a life to maximize your happiness?What is the Vice-Joy-Dedication Gradient and how does it relate to your ability to find purpose and meaning in life?What do all the successful individuals we look up to have in common and how can you implement it immediately?How can you find meaning in your work if you hate what you do?On average, what percentage of our waking lives do we spend daydreaming and how does it impact our ability to be happy and successful? Attaining and maintaining happiness in life is about much more than the simple joy we feel when we engage in acts and events that bring us pleasure. Much of it comes down to the why behind our actions and goals. If we don’t have a deeper motivation for our day to day lives we can struggle to find happiness in the sometimes seemingly insignificant things we do, like a job you hate but one you need in order to get to the one you want, or suffering through brutal workouts in order to maintain your health and achieve your fitness goals. Always be willing to ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” until you can get to a point where there is no deeper answer. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Go to squarespace.com/charm for a free trial and use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. GREATS designs classically inspired sneakers for men and women using luxury high quality materials and construction. Go to greats.com Resources from this Episode 736: How to Rewire your Brain for Success | w/ Lisa Wimberger 735: The Best Ways to Rewrite Bad Habits w/ Charles Duhigg Happiness: it’s not just your genes, stupid! Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

You asked and we answered! We took the three highest rated interviews from 2018 and put them into a special New Years Eve episode just for you! We kick it off with the powerhouse David Goggins, the former Navy SEAL, ultramarathon runner, and author of “Can’t Hurt Me.” We think he’s the best voice to listen to when you can’t get your ass out of bed. He has a lot to say about committing to yourself. Next up is our interview with Dr. Steven Hayes, the leading clinical psychologist in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - which is all about authentically accepting who you are and working on the best parts of you. Dr. Hayes dispels the “boosting self-esteem myth” and then offers a great alternative that helps everyone (including us!) work through life’s challenging moments. Finally, we leave you with the crazy conversation we had with power investor and entrepreneur Oren Klaff. He’s going to take you into the “Croc” brain and explain why it has an iron grip on your behavior in social settings - he’ll even let you know how to use it to your advantage. We loved having you join us this year as the Art of Charm Podcast tried out some new things. Don’t forget to chime in and tell us what YOU want us to explore in 2019. We love your feedback and your questions, so drop us a line at www.theartofhcharm.com/questions. Happy New Year! - AJ, Johnny, and the entire Art of Charm Team A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Netsuite takes growing businesses and organizations to new heights. Get NetSuite’s guide “Crushing the Five Barriers to Growth” when you go to netsuite.com/charm

Building new habits is typically not as simple as doing something different each day - sometimes we need to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves, and that’s where neurosculpting comes in, but what is neurosculpting? how can we use it to our advantage? and what can we start doing today to begin removing the barriers in our minds that stop us from developing the habits for the success? What to Listen ForLisa tells the story of how her experience with seizures led her to dive headfirst into neurosculptingWhat is neurosculpting and how can you use Lisa’s methods to develop healthy habits and rewrite the stories in your life that are holding you back from success and happiness?How can one simple act dissipate the stress & tension throughout your body and allow you to roll with the punches of life?What does it mean to “orient to safety” and how can you use it to help prevent failure in building a new habit?How can you train yourself so fear no longer stands in your way?What are the 5 steps to rewriting the stories that are stopping you from building new habits?Lisa explains the best way to develop a morning routine by approaching the bedtime routine firstHow can you take advantage of neuroplasticity to amplify the reinforcement of new habits?What can you do if building a new habit is encroaching on your partner’s routine and/or expectations? Neurosculpting is a 5-step meditation process developed to take advantage of neuroplasticity, defined as the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections to compensate for injury and disease and to adjust activities in response to new situations or to changes in an environment. When it comes to building new habits, you can use neurosculpting to reinforce the building of new patterns in your brain. Using neurosculpting in place of a brute force approach allows you to rewire your brain much faster and more efficiently, giving you more control over your life, happiness, and success. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Netsuite takes growing businesses and organizations to new heights. Get NetSuite’s guide “Crushing the Five Barriers to Growth” when you go to netsuite.com/charm “Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Resources from this Episode “Neurosculpting: A Whole-Brain Approach to Heal Trauma, Rewrite Limiting Beliefs, and Find Wholeness” by Lisa Wimberger “New Beliefs, New Brain: Free Yourself from Stress and Fear” by Lisa Wimberger The Neurosculpting Institute Charles Duhigg | Smarter Faster Better (Episode 552) Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

Building a new habit can be difficult if you approach it with the wrong tools and misinformation, but what does the science tell us about forming new habits, what are the right tools you need when it comes to successful habit building, and what can you start doing today to make sure you’re not getting in your own way? What to Listen ForWhy is the community you surround yourself with so important to the development of new habits and the perpetuation of bad ones?Charles Duhigg explains why standard to-do lists are terrible for productivity and what an effective replacement looks likeWhat is the habit loop and how can you use the knowledge of it to change any habit you want?How can you use the science of small wins to start making changes to your habits immediately?What are some tricks you can use to stay motivated when building a new habit or breaking an old one?How are intentional choices related to motivation when it comes to the psychology of routine and satisfaction?Why is it almost impossible to “break” a habit and what should we do instead if we want to get rid of bad habits?How can you determine the cues of bad habits so you can take them into account and prevent the bad habits from being triggered in the first place?Charles Duhigg explains the one thing ex-smokers do that stops them from relapsingWhat are mental models and how is our ability to create them directly related to our success in life?  Many of us are led to believe the formation of new habits is accomplished through a brute force approach via willpower, aka that it is entirely internal. However, the science behind habit building says otherwise - our external environment and the people around us play a significant role. If you build an environment conducive to success it becomes infinitely easier to develop new habits and replace old ones. This can mean anything from identifying the cues that trigger bad habits and removing them, or replacing the bad habit with a good one. It can also mean surrounding yourself with a community that focuses on the habit you’re trying to build - for example, joining a weekly meetup group for writers instead of relying on your own willpower to sit down and write consistently.  A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Safe For Work is an advice show that reminds you that while your office may be crazy, you don’t have to be. Check it out at: https://wondery.com/shows/safe-for-work/ Resources from this Episode "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg “Smart Faster Better” by Charles Duhigg Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter

Building (or breaking) a new habit can effectively be broken into 3 different phases, each with its own challenge which can prevent you from reaching the next one - but what are the 3 phases, how can awareness of each one assist you, and is a new habit locked in once you reach the 3rd phase? What to Listen ForWhat are the three phases of efficiently building new habits?How long is the “honeymoon” phase of building a new habit and what can you do to ensure you don’t fail immediately after?What is the “fight thru” phase of habit building and how can you use knowledge of it to your advantage?What 2 simple questions can you ask yourself everyday to keep you on track?Why are contingency plans vital to developing and maintaining strong habits?How do you make sure the success of building one habit doesn’t lead you to be lazy when it comes to maintaining it?AJ explains how you can actually revert back through the phases of habit building if you’re not careful and intentional about continuing to work on themWhere does self-compassion enter the equation of habit building and how can the lack of it lead you to fail?How can habits impede progress toward your larger goals and what can you do to mitigate the interference?AJ and Johnny explain how to use regular goal setting, intentional novelty, and the celebration of small victories to compound your development of great habits Building new habits is an ongoing process that requires your daily attention and effort in order to succeed. When first starting a new habit it can be easy to get caught up in the immediate rewards of progress - notice by friends and coworkers and changes in mood and feeling to give a couple examples. After the first phase, however, it becomes more challenging and it can be easy to fail unless you set your mind to the process. Finally, once you push through the second phase into the last phase, your job is not over, because now you must work at maintaining the new habit. Set goals to keep challenging yourself, find friends or family to keep you accountable by challenging each other, and introduce novelty in whatever habit you’re trying to maintain to ensure it doesn’t get boring. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Molekule uses nanotechnology to break down pollutants on a molecular level. For $75 off your first order, visit molekule.com and at checkout enter CHARM. Resources from this Episode “Habit Formation: The 21-Day Myth” by Jason Selk Self-esteem is Bullshit (Episode 729) Master Your Mindset with David Goggins (Episode 730) Goals: How to Pick ‘em & Achieve ’em | Chris Tye-Walker (Episode 732) “How Habits Can Get in the Way of Your Goals” by Catherine Benner Habits in Everyday Life: Thought, Emotion, and Action Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter