Pillow Talks

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Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

Episode 152: Breaking Down A Text Fight
You’ve had a fight over text message with your partner, right? Most of us have! Maybe you sent a text to your partner that was a little too snarky, or maybe you read too much into a message. Odds are your text fight did not end well… Today we’re...
Episode 151: How To Get Your Partner To Open Up About Sex (Even If They’re Resistant)
If you’re a Pillow Talks listener, you’re probably on board with the idea of talking about sex openly. But what do you do if your partner is a lot more hesitant? In this episode, we’re going over why your partner might be feeling...
Episode 150: Smash Or Pass? We Try The Wildest Sex Tips You’ve Ever Heard (Volume 3)
We really went there… It’s time for another round of Smash or Pass! The series where we find the internet’s weirdest sex tips, try them out, and report back to you with all the details. We dug deep to find the craziest ideas for us...
Episode 149: Partner Having Penis Performance Problems? Here’s What To Do - And What Not To Do
“This, uh, isn’t working…” Most of us have experienced a partner having some performance issues in the bedroom, and feeling wildly confused about what to do. How do you react? What do you say? And let’s be honest, most of us women...
Episode 148: “Help Me See Where My Partner Is Coming From!” (Advice Episode)
“I just don’t understand where you’re coming from.” Have you ever been in the heat of an argument with your partner, and felt totally unable see their perspective on the issue? We put up a question box on Instagram and asked...
Episode 147: Your Sexual Fantasies Revealed
Have you ever wondered what everyone secretly fantasizes about? We anonymously polled our audience, and we’re spilling all the secrets today! We’re also doing a deep dive on all your fantasy questions. Where do they come from? What do they...
Episode 146: Are You Nagging? Or Is Your Partner Being Childish?
75% of people say that nagging is an issue in their relationship. So we thought it was time we gave our take on this controversial topic. We’re talking about the differences between nagging, reminding, and micromanaging. When is it nagging...
Episode 145: What Your Partner Secretly Wishes You’d Stop Doing In The Bedroom
Have you ever wondered what your partner REALLY thinks about your performance in the bedroom? Well, it turns out there are a few things they secretly wish you’d stop doing… We turned to Instagram and asked people to anonymously share...
Episode 144: We’re In Couples Therapy
Surprise! We’re in couples therapy. We sat down and recorded one of our most vulnerable episodes yet all about why we’re in therapy and how it’s going. We talked about what to look for in a potential therapist (and where to look) and gave...
Episode 143: The Body Confidence Episode - How To Feel Good In Your Skin During Sex
Today, we’re tackling a huge issue that so many people can relate to… feeling uncomfortable in your own skin during sex. We’re diving into the specific things that make you the most self-conscious, and how these thoughts can impact your sex...
Episode 142: Are You Lazy In Bed? Here’s What Your Partner Says…
Today we’re asking a tough question… Are you lazy in bed? And an even harder one… Would your partner say you’re lazy during sex? In this episode, we’re breaking down the specific things you’re doing that your partner thinks are...
Episode 141: How To Get Your Partner To Be More Romantic
79% of our community members want their partners to be more romantic. Romance seems to come so easy at the beginning of a relationship, but feels so much harder to sustain long-term! In this episode, we’ll walk you through specific steps to...
Episode 140: What Your Sex Personality Type Says About You In The Bedroom
You might already know that you’re a 3 on the Enneagram, a generator in human design, or an ENTJ in Myers–Briggs. But do you know your personality type in the bedroom? Today we’re breaking down our Sex Personality Types model. Our...
Episode 139: Xander’s Vasectomy Part 2: Answering Your Questions About Pain, Performance, And Masculinity
Snip snap! We’re back with part 2 of Xander’s vasectomy journey. (Start with part 1 if you want to hear his story.) This time we’re answering all your questions about the process from start to finish (literally, all 30 “finishes”). ...
Episode 138: Your Funniest Foreplay Fails
We asked you to share your funniest foreplay fails, and you REALLY delivered! Today we’re sharing the dangers of jalapeños, why you shouldn’t chew gum during oral, and some bad Cosmo advice about armpits! But we couldn’t leave it at just...
Episode 137: Xander Got A Vasectomy!
Xander got a vasectomy! By popular demand, we’re walking you through the entire process - how and why we decided to go this route, finding the right doctor, the procedure itself (including the truth about how painful it really was…),...
Episode 136: The Top 10 Pillow Talks Podcast Moments of 2023
2023 has been one wild ride! This podcast - all 136 episodes so far - has been a major part of our year, so what better way to celebrate than counting down our top 10 moments from Pillow Talks in 2023? Take a stroll down memory lane to the moments...
Episode 135: Am I The Asshole? The Holiday Edition
The first time we did Am I The Asshole it was a major success, so we knew we had to bring it back for a part two! In this special holiday edition, we’ve got more fiery takes on your craziest seasonal stories. We’re talking about in-laws, gift...
Episode 134: Everything You’re Getting Wrong About Intercourse (And How To Get It Right)
We all feel like we’re supposed to just be naturally good at intercourse, but there are so many dynamics that can trip us up! What positions are best? How do you MOVE during it? What do you do if one of you can easily orgasm from intercourse, but...
Episode 133: Dead Bedrooms Part 2: We Coach Another Couple Through Resuscitating Their Sex Life
“We’re just not having sex anymore...” If you’ve found yourself uttering (or even just thinking) this line, you’re not alone. So many couples will experience a loss of not just their sex life but intimacy altogether. When we...

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