This is the podcast that’s all about deepening our self-awareness with self-compassion. Exploring how positive psychology, neuroscience and mindfulness help us make and manage deep & lasting change.

What is the wisdom you have gathered to you?One of the things we’ll be exploring in the next retreat is how WINTER is a time of turning inward - the leaves have fallen, the crops have been harvested, the stores are full - and within that is the metaphor of seeing the wisdom (the crops) you have gathered to you. That you are now storing, ready for when they need to be used.What wisdom can you gather from reflecting on what changed for you since you first...Began a new job?Moved into a new home?Started a new school?Embarked on a new relationship?Met someone who would become a dear friend for the first time?What was your mindset at the start - and how did it change? What does that reflection show you of what you have learnt? And how can you bring that with you into new experiences.So often, we barrel through life, without taking the time to stop and listen and see what we are learning.In this time of Winter, metaphorical or literal, we have an opportunity to rest in that wisdom, to allow it to settle within us - so it is there, always ready, for us to apply to the life we live now.Some of the things I reflect on today include... - Whether we see this time of WINTER as literal or metaphorical - it’s message is clear - it is a time to allow ourselves to REST.- Through so much of life, we are trained to stay up in our heads, disconnected with the natural rhythms of the seasons - in our ‘always on’ culture everything must happen all the time.- But we have to have times of rest - other wise nothing new can grow.Through an exploration of my own reflections on our recent move to a new home - and the wisdom our old home imparted to us - this is an invitation to see your own wisdom you have gathered... And to see how you wish to store it over winter, so it's ready for you when you most need it.With loveHenny x The Heart of Change, my NEW book you enjoyed this episode, please do leave a review on Apple Podcasts.Watch the une

This bonus episode is a recording of a new poem to My darling girl.A love letter to that special depth of friendship between women. Of course, deep friendship is not an exclusively female experience but this poem was inspired by my own friendships with the women in my life. As ever, I hope it speaks, in some way, to you too.To buy the published collection, go to or order through Waterstones.My darling girl Love like this takes many formsCouched in hugs and hand-held, arm-brushed touchWhispered with a smile that’s such only you two can readLaughed into being with being loved in turnLove like this has many namesMother, daughter, sister, friendA blurring of the boundaries The unites us all into a single soulA boundless bounty without endLove like this is multi-huedEach colour cascading upward into lightLifting hearts and minds alikeAnd while it might not feel a common giftLove like this is not hard to findA precious joy from the infinite divineWith loveHenny x 

What does it mean to be confident? How do we find it? What happens when it disappears?I'm joined today by my friend and fellow coach, Debbie Pugh.The founder of The Quiet Network, Debbie has a wealth of experience in exploring self-confidence, both for herself and her clients.I found this conversation deeply enriching as we explored a range of ideas, beliefs and behaviours that can contribute to - and detract from - a feeling of self-confidence.Today, we discuss...The distinction & balance between being an introvert or an extrovertHow our levels of self-confidence are affected by internal or external validationHow deep self-care can support us in developing and sustaining our self-confidenceWhat happens when our confidence plummetsHow we often try to intellectualise our way out of a drop in confidenceHow to reframe our language to reframe our experience of things that knock our confidenceHow our inner parts - our child self or adolescent self - can be activated when things happen that make us feel less confidentSelf-confidence is an energy - aligned directly with understanding what motivates usHow meditation can be a powerful tool in helping us observe what’s happening in our mindComparison is the thief of joy - and we can never know what others think or feel - non-judgemental observation is keyThe transformative quality of the power dynamics of transactional analysis and the ++ mindset - and how we can CHOOSE to adopt the mindset that most serves us (and most serves our interactions with others)Self-confidence at it’s heart is the deep knowledge of “I’m ok”And we close with a quote from Planes, Trains & Automobiles… now, you didn’t expect that!Always remember, everything is an experiment.Henny xShop The Heart of Change at “What if we obsess about the things we love about ourselves?” Anon“Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth” RumiREFERENCESTo find out more about the The Quiet Network, go to Debbie also mentions Susan Cai

Today I am offering a meditation.The invitation is to release whatever is taking your attention, and turn your gaze toward yourself. To rest, reflect. To settle. To breathe. To listen.This has been a big week for me, personally. My second book, The Heart of Change was published, it's been World Menopause Day which has meant leading webinars with organisations as well as hosting events myself. And, we are edging ever closer to some major personal changes, as our son prepares to move into his own flat and we prepare to move from our family home... and move to a new family home in another part of the country.As one friend put it 'there's an awful lot going on'. And, of course, we have all had times where there's an awful lot going on; whether sought or received. This meditation is a reflection on the simplicity and the complexity of 'BEING WITH'. As ever, I hope this finds you well, safe, happy and at ease.Sent with loveHenny x

What do you think, feel, believe about change?This is the question we're asking today. We've all inherited stories through our family line, through our care-givers, through people we've learnt from, people we've worked with.And these stories can influence the way we feel about change. We may see it as something to be avoided at all costs - or leapt into. Or (more likely) a combination of the two.My new book, The Heart of Change, is published this month. And it explores change from the perspective of what we think, feel, believe about change - because by doing this exploration we are better able to understand the approach that's best for us, as individuals. We're also better able to understand what changes will most serve us - and what may be driving the desire to change.There are 5 core parts of the book - each filled with self-reflection opportunities, exercises to explore and journaling prompts to consider. Some of the questions that arise as we explore our own 'heart of change' can be:What does change mean to you, personally? What helps you create balance in your life, to support you in times of change?How is resilience learnt, developed, accessed?Where can we embrace disruption as something beautiful in our lives?What accompanies emergence as we come through a time of change?The book is an invitation to explore. To write. To feel. To create. I hope you love reading it, and working through it, as much as I have loved creating it.With loveHenny xShop The Heart of Change you enjoyed this episode, please do leave a review on Apple Podcasts.Watch the unedited version on YouTube... and please do subscribe for future episodes 

Susan wrote to me recently and said:"I've been thinking a lot about the idea of dressing/style as a kind of self expression and full showing up as opposed to dressing for others. The off shoot thought is that exercise can be the same: can I choose movement that feels great to me, what I love, as opposed to exercising to look a certain way or burn calories or as penance for what I've eaten."Her deeper reflection was wondering whether exercising this intentional CHOICEFULNESS in the things we use to adorn ourselves, or how we move our body, starts being about whether we can be fully intentional about ALL the choices that we make. In the episode we explore our own attitudes and learnt beliefs about clothes, makeup, jewellery & exercise, and how those have changed over the years. Focussing on a few core questions...Where does the line get drawn between self-protection and self-expression?How do we square the BELIEFS we may hold, eg about make-up or clothes being a feminist issue, with what we FEEL to be right for US?What are the societal stories we’ve inherited or are carrying?Who or what is driving the choices we make? Ultimately the question comes down to... are we making choices from a place of love or fear?How do these reflections land with you? What are your thoughts? We would LOVE to hear. Come and share your thoughts over on the Henny Flynn Facebook group or connect with Susan...www.susanmcculley.comThe Age of Becoming Henny xAs a word of warning, this episode contains a moment of strong language, when I share a story from my childhood.REFERENCESThe TED talk Susan mentioned that insipired this episode... Karen Arthur, the founder of #WearYourHappyTo support the podcast, please have a browse on A brilliant & ethical alternative to Amazon. It's where you'll find all the books I mention in the episodes and a small proportion of all sales goes toward supporting the show.Recommended Reading on Books I

Of all the podcast episodes I’ve recorded so far - and there are over 50 of them now - the most listened to is the one with Lucy Cowan on Grief, Compassion & Recovery.Lucy is a trained Grief Recovery practitioner and I came across her at a time when several dear friends were each facing into their own grief. The timing, of course, was no coincidence, and the conversation with Lucy has been immensely helpful, not just to me personally but to so many people who’ve listened.The important thing here is that Lucy wasn’t promising an ENDING of the feelings of GRIEF, but rather a way of being with what IS.What Eckhart Tolle calls the ISness in his profound books the Power of Now and Stillness Speaks.At the time of being surrounded by loved ones experiencing their own ISness, I wrote an entry in my journal about how it is to support others when they are going through times of pain.As with all my journal entries - and with everything personal I share here - this is not intended to be ‘an answer’ - every grief, every relationship, every person is perfectly and beautifully unique.What it is is a personal reflection that may spark reflections for you too.It’s titled, simply, DAY 419 - and I share it on the episode.Many of my journal entries are accompanied by letters to My Darling Girl. These are pieces of prose or poetryish - some of which are now gathered in a collection called, appropriately, My Darling Girl.At first I thought they were love letters written to my inner self - but now I realise they are written to all the girls & women we have ever been. This one caught my eye as I was preparing this episode. At the time I wrote it, it meant something very different to me.But, as I’ve realised from the many many messages I’ve received from people who’ve read My Darling Girl, the meaning of these love letters changes with time, and with who is reading them.Today, this feels like it connects with times of love and loss.It is called: I Have YouIf you haven’t yet heard Lucy and her own deeply moving story of love and loss, then I invite you to have a listen you’d like to buy any of the books we talk about in any of the episodes, you can find them all on A brilliant and ethical alternative to Amazon

What are you holding onto that you no longer truly need?This is a question we can all ask ourselves - it's one I'm facing into right now, in a practical way, as we prepare to move home. And there's a powerful metaphor here of what are we holding within us that's no longer serving us?In this wide-ranging episode of the podcast, I explore...How in the past we would have cleared out the RAM in our computers, but now we simply buy more digital spaceHow holding onto stuff has become normalised with the huge increase in people using storage units How the stories we carry, the limiting beliefs we cling to, the emotional history we hold onto all take up space in our heads (and our hearts)How physical & emotional pain also take up spaceHow meditation helps create white spaceHow the practice of freeing up our physical and emotional environments helps us think and breathe more freelyREFERENCESHow Pleasure Works, Paul Bloom The Psychology of Stuff & Things Reading on Books I love - psychology, neuroscience & mindfulness to make & manage deep & lasting changeDisclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

My guest today shares how her time in the military and the challenges she faced as a young woman combined to help her reach the Gentle place.Debbie Edwards is a transformational leadership coach and energy healer.In our conversation, we explore:The importance of a gentle / compassionate stance in the workplace - and how hard it can feel when it’s conditioned out of us - and its wider implications for our health and well-being (physically, mentally, emotionally, socially)Debbie's powerful story of what led her to the work she does with The Gentle Leader Key tools that we can all understand and absorb into our daily patterns to dissolve the stories and patterns we carry that 'toughness' is synonymous with survival.Debbie shows us how to thrive, personally and in business, even when times are hard. To connect with her, find her on Instagram @thegentleleader To connect with me, go to - and if you enjoyed this episode, please do leave a review on Apple Podcasts.

It’s taken me such a long time to work out how to begin this new series.Not through lack of willingness - perhaps in fact through too much WILLingness!I’ve thought and thought and thought and thought - and then I remembered that what I actually need to do is FEEL.So I did that instead - and it showed me the way in.Today's reflections include...Sometimes we need to slow down to speed up.We can’t ignore the longer term benefits of deep relaxation.We don’t need to fix what has never been broken.For more... Reading on Books I love - psychology, neuroscience & mindfulness to make & manage deep & lasting changeDisclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

How can we begin to recover from Grief?When I explored bereavement counselling for myself, a few years ago, I heard that it’s best not to approach it until 6-months or so has passed. The idea being that until that first wave has passed, we’re not ready to explore how to move forward.But, this gentle advice left me feeling a little lost. Unsure how to process or manage things in the waiting period until I could get support.I admit I didn’t pursue it any further - so much of my energy was taken up with just getting by that I didn’t have enough resources to also find the support I needed. So, I may have been misguided in my understanding but it’s something I’ve also heard from others since.It’s left me feeling that there must be another way. My guest today is a deputy head teacher and an advanced grief recovery practitioner. She helps people move through grief (whatever grief they may be feeling - she shares more on the different types of grief there are), using a process developed in the States. Lucy has her own history of grief, which she shares with beautiful and generous candour. And as a teacher, you'll hear how she loves that this process is focussed on educating people in tools we can all use to help us move through future grief - with deep self-compassion.Henny xFULL SHOW NOTES - hennyflynn.comCONTACT LUCY - -

Today’s episode is a chance to dance through some of the areas we explore in the Season Retreats.These retreats are all about INTENTION SETTING.Each one designed to help us consider what it is we wish to draw to us over the coming season.An intention is a feeling that arises that informs a SHORT, POSITIVE statement in the PRESENT tense as though it is already happening. Today I share some of the neuroscience behind why intention setting works and a simple practice for feeling into your own intention. We'll also explore how to create and use an affirmation or mantra that you can use every day - or throughout your day - to help you shape your experience.You may have specific changes you’re contemplating right now. In which case, aligning your intention with the outcome you desire can be a really powerful way of supporting yourself in managing that change in the most beneficial way.Or it may be you'd like to honour how you want to be feeling over the coming months. And you may choose to craft an intention that helps you shape what that feeling is, and how it is to be with it.And if you don’t have something specific, that’s ok too - this art is a gentle one. A beautiful intention can simply be the METTA, or loving kindness meditation of: “I am safe, I am well, I am happy, I live with ease”.During the episode I share a short reflective exercise that is best done when you're somewhere you can rest, close your eyes and feel into whatever arises. With loveHenny x

I'm back with the wonderful Susan McCulley. And today we have a tender topic.When discussing shame it feels so essential to hold ourselves gently.We touch on areas that may feel challenging. We explore aspects of our own responses to shame, and the associated emotions that connect with it. We traverse the landscape of shame to see how we can hold ourselves with ever-deeper compassion.There are many angles to a conversation about shame. Our attention today is focussed on how we can normalise the feelings we associate with a sense of shame and how we can differentiate her from her sisters - sadness, embarrassment, guilt, anger, despair, neglect, disappointment... This feels like an important subject because the more we can identify what we're feeling, the less we are identified by those feelings.Toward the end of the conversation we landed on an idea that affected us both deeply. And brought tears to my eyes. Ultimately the message is one of whole acceptance of who we are.Henny xPLEASE NOTE... At the beginning of our conversation, Susan leads us through an exercise to grounds us all as we embark on this conversation. The very initial part (feeling into your feet) can be done when in car, but please note the rest of the exercise involves your hands too - so won’t be possible when driving! Some of the things we discuss include…How our ancient animal brain responds to experiences and creates shame because of our deep fear of being shunnedThe Gottman Institute have created an emotion wheel (see the link below) that helps us understand the subtlety and breadth of what we feelShame arises when we know we’re not being TRUE to ourselves We can carry shame with us throughout our lives - and can inherit it from others, from our conditioning or from societal moresShame is a primal emotion and we ALL have it.Shame hates to be talked about so secrecy is its language - the more we deny or refuse to talk about shame, the more we have.Shame is ‘I am bad (and I can’t change that)’ - guilt is ‘I did something bad (and I have a choice to change it)’There is a depth and breadth to our emotional landscape - developing our language of emotion helps us differentiate what we’re feeling and that in turn helps us see that the feeling of Shame per se could be built on something else… sadness, embarras

What language does your body speak?My guest this week says: "When you understand your hormones and the impact they have on every aspect of your life, you are then in a position to choose what’s best for you to feel your most vibrant."Abi Adams has created a unique approach to menstrual cycle health, exercise and emotional wellbeing, and offers her clients tools she's travelled the world to learn over the last 20 years to create a clear cut route of sustainable health.I experienced some of her magic when I hosted a talk she gave, where she invited us to feel how it feels when we move freely. I found her approach and vitality refreshing and so have invited her to join us today to share some of her wisdom.Abi now focusses on women but her background includes working with men too. We’ll be exploring how important it is for women & men to pay the same careful attention to their hormones and well-being.Abi is unafraid. She addresses topics that some of us may find hard to explore. As ever I am fascinated to listen to a range of perspectives and I hope you too enjoy the way she is willing to challenge thinking.SEE THE FULL SHOW NOTES Henny xCONTACT ABIPrøject Wø you as always to Angus at for his music and production.CONNECTThe Regroup Hour on Facebook

What happens when our choice to change gets questioned?How many times have you observed - in yourself, or someone else - a desire to JUSTIFY something that you’re doing - that you KNOW is really benefiting you… really serving you but that you suspect the other person won’t quite GET?Maybe it’s a little embarrassing to admit that you’ve adopted a new habit or behaviour that feels out of the ordinary for someone ‘like you’ - perhaps in your family, community, friendship group or culture these things aren’t the norm… and so we can either end up justifying them or caveating what we’re doing, to ward off the anticipated ridicule or judgment or cynicism.I’ve heard myself doing it.Making jokes about things I learnt to do that helped me create greater calm in my life - which, quite frankly is NO joke!And, of course, sometimes we’re on the other side of it. Where WE’RE the ones being cynical.This episode explores how it feels when we choose to do something different.SEE FULL SHOW NOTES - or watch on YOUTUBE Henny xREFERENCESThe Heart of Change, by Henny Flynn Dr Kristin Neff - GRATITUDEThank you as always to Angus at for his music and production.CONNECTThe Regroup Hour on Facebook

How can we relax into sleeping well... rather than striving to sleep 'better'?I met Dr. Kat when I was hosting an evening presentation, and she was the guest speaker. I was so impressed by her approach to the work that she does - and the huge range of knowledge she holds - that I immediately invited her to join me as a guest here.Dr. Kat Lederle, PhD, MSc, is Somnia’s sleep scientist and chronobiologist. She holds a PhD in Human Circadian Physiology and Behaviour, and an MSc in Biosciences and is one of the leading experts in the field of sleep therapy. Her approach to sleep and circadian health is compassionate and holistic and draws on the latest scientific evidence and proven behavioural change techniques.Through this conversation Dr. Kat shares the foundations of what helps us sleep WELL. After we finished recording she also shared with me the crucial distinction between sleeping WELL and sleeping ‘better’. ‘Better’ implies there is something to be judged about the way we sleep. We sleep how we sleep. The art is finding ways to support us in sleeping well. And listening to Dr. Kat is one of those ways.Henny xThis is some of what we covered:Her research into sleep and why it’s such a crucial area for us all to pay attention to - for our health and well-being (physically, mentally, emotionally, socially)The work she does within Somnia to support 100s of people in managing their own sleep patterns to rest betterWhat led her to this work through her own life journeyThe background to writing SLEEP SENSE and key tools that we can all understand and absorb into our daily patternsThe fundamental principles of how we get good rest (Physical, emotional, hormonal etc)The impact it has on our lives when we do / don’t rest wellWhat can get in the way of sleep… And how can we manage if/when that happensHenny xCONTACT Dr. KatE: and Twitter & Instagram:

This episode was particularly important to me personally (well... let’s face it - ALL the episodes are important to me personally!), but this one felt particularly so… 30 years ago, I met Sarah Rozenthuler - then the girlfriend of my housemate at University… now a psychologist, coach and author.She has been part of my own change journey, sometimes in very subtle ways, but always there along the way. In this conversation you’ll hear why.Her immense resource of wisdom and compassion is palpable in the conversation as we explore this idea of Purpose - the subject of her latest book Powered by Purpose.And while she now specialises in working with top leaders across the world, the principles she shares apply to us all.This is some of what we covered:Sarah’s journey and what brought her hereThe meaning of purpose and what it brings to our lives The importance of the neutral zone, or transitional zone, between endings & beginnings (see too, Season 4, Episode 3 - All Change Begins with an Ending)How we can ALL discover and live by our own PERSONAL purposeHer lessons for us all in terms of her work - and her personal growth - over this past yearWhat she has observed have been the greatest challenges & opportunities for those she works withHenny xPS: The person who's name I couldn't remember was Richard Boyatzis! Have included his wonderful book below*****Sarah Rozenthuler, CEO, Founder and Author www.bridgeworkconsulting.comPowered by Purpose - Order your copy hereSee these upcoming events from SarahA half-day masterclass on team purpose that she is co-leading on 18th JuneThe Activating Purpose-Led Leadership programme - new dates coming soon for autumn 2021REFERENCESNeale Donald Walsh Conversations with GodRichard Boyatzis, PhD with Melvin Smith and Ellen Van Oosten - Helping People Change GRATITUDEThank you as always to Angus McLeod at for his mus

“Every beginning is a consequence. Every beginning ends something.” Paul ValéryShifting into changes means sensing the new beginning ahead of us.ANDSaying goodbye to what went before.Endings are crucial to positive change. Whether that’s about shifting into a new life stage, a new job, a new mindset. And they’re often ignored - or rushed past.In this episode I share some things in my own life that are coming to a close - and explore what it takes to create good endings, in order to build strong beginnings.*****What endings are you facing? How do you want to create your own new beginnings? Endings can also be what happens when we decide to let something GO emotionally.William Bridges - an expert on change - saw that there’s a difference between CHANGE & TRANSITIONWe ALL respond differently to change - we’re seeing this in technicolour with the shifts into and out of lockdown & all the different experiences people are havingThe useful thing is to be aware of how change makes you feel - and then manage that, so you either don’t LEAP at change, as a way of avoiding other things that perhaps feel painful or challenging (definitely part of my own MO). Or AVOID change, because of fear - and then end up limiting your options, your life choices because of that - and perhaps miss out on something that would really fuel you.Bridges model has 3 stages - ENDINGS, TRANSITION (or neutral) & NEW BEGINNINGS. It’s important we’re aware of all three - choosing to make a change, means BEING AWARE of what we are ENDING. If there’s something you’re exploring right now and want some support with making your own change - with creating your own ending, building your own bridge and reaching your own new beginning, you know where I am.I've also shared the piece from My Darling Girl below. Henny xREFERENCESMy darling girl - Henny FlynnGRATITUDEThank you as always to Angus McLeod at for his music and production.

I am so delighted to say that once again I’m in conversation with the marvellous Susan McCulley.This episode builds on our most recent episode together, at the end of Series 3 - all about honouring what we need when we need it most.I’ve titled this episode ‘Hope is now’ as it was essentially where we landed with our explorations. And then Susan shared this quote from David Roberts: “Hope isn’t about the future as much as it is about the present." So it seems we were in good company with our reflections.Charles Snyder says “A rainbow is a prism that sends shards of multicoloured light in various directions. It lifts our spirits and makes us think of what is possible. Hope is the same – a personal rainbow of the mind.” In the UK, we’ve all seen Rainbows being used for the NHS through this time of COVID - a symbol of hope to support us during the dark times.Through this conversation, Susan and I explore hope from all angles - what it means to feel hopeless and how it is to feel hopeful. SEE FULL SHOW NOTES - xCONTACT SUSAN www.susanmcculley.comThe Age of Becoming Dweck - Growth MindsetsGRATITUDEThank you as always to Angus at for his music and production.CONNECTThe Regroup Hour on Facebook 

We’ve all seen over the past year how houses in more remote (and beautiful) parts of the country have become so sought after. People leaving where they’ve lived for many years to move to the countryside… escaping city life… moving to a new life.There are many things that drive a drastic move or change in direction. Sometimes it’s a sharp realisation of ‘if not now, when?’ And at other times, we may be being subconsciously driven by fear.Sometimes it’s hard to know.In this episode I explore what can drive us into change, and how to see what’s motivating our actions.SEE FULL SHOW NOTES - xREFERENCESIn the Realm of The Hungry Ghosts - Gabor MatteThe Body Keeps the Score - Bessel van Der KolkGRATITUDEThank you as always to Angus at for his music and production.CONNECTThe Regroup Hour on Facebook